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Part 11 of McHale's Navy Deleted Scenes
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Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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Published:
2020-11-05
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677
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Deleted Scene: Carpenter in Command

Summary:

scene takes place during the ep "Carpenter in Command"

Work Text:

Episdoe Summary: Captain Binghamton breaks his leg and leaves Elroy Carpenter in charge of the base. The normally reticent lieutenant lets the power go to his head and the boys have to humble him. -- from season 2 DVD box set

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McHale was just about to dig into one of Fuji’s culinary masterpieces when Willie rushed into his hut. “Message from the main base. Acting Commander Carpenter orders you to come see him right away.”

McHale rolled his eyes and looked at his watch. “This late.”

Willie shrugged apologetically. “Yeah, Skip.”

McHale threw his napkin on the table in disgust and stood up. “Acting Commander Carpenter,“ he sneered. “Binghamton’s only been in the infirmary a few hours and his head is already too big for his britches.” He clenched his hand into a fist and hit his leg. “Of all the dog gone…”

Fuji slipped in and took the plate away. He inclined his head. “I will heat it up when you get back, Skippersan.”

McHale took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He managed a smile for Fuji. “Thanks, Fuji. Is the gig ready, Willie?”

“Yeah, Skip,” Willie answered softly. “I told Grub as soon as we got the message.”

“Then I’ll go see what Admiral Bligh wants.”

Twenty minutes later, McHale arrived at Binghamton’s -- Acting Commander Carpenter’s -- office. There was no yeoman at the desk outside. He took a calming breath and knocked.

“Enter,” Carpenter’s voice called.

McHale went in and came to attention in front of the desk. “Commander McHale reporting as ordered."

Carpenter was in Binghamton’s chair with his feet up on the desk. He smirked and made a show of slowly standing up. He returned the salute and tapped his swagger stick on the desk. “Close the door, Commander.”

McHale did as he was told. He grit his teeth against the urge to wipe that smug look off Carpenter’s face. “Yes, Sir,” he said, grunting the last word.

“Make sure to lock it.”

“Yes, Sir. I wouldn’t want any more demerits,” McHale muttered. “Oh, brother.”

Carpenter grinned, baring all his teeth. “Enjoy counting all those oil drums at the fuel dump?”

McHale went back to his place in front of the desk. He clasped his hands behind his back and focused on the wall behind Carpenter’s shoulder. “What did you want to see me about, Sir?”

“You can’t be mad about that,” Carpenter said dismissively. “I can’t be seen cutting you any slack.” He locked the door and perched on the front edge of the desk in front of McHale. He lightly tapped McHale’s stomach with his stick. “What do you think I want at this hour?”

McHale recognized that spark in Carpenter’s eyes. He shook his head. “You can’t be serious.”

“And why not?” Carpenter demanded.

“Let’s just say I’m not feeling very amorous this evening,” McHale answered dryly.

Carpenter’s voice softened but the imperious manner didn’t disappear. “It’s a golden opportunity. You know I’ve always wanted to…on the Captain’s desk.”

“Fraternizing with a man under your command?” McHale clicked his tongue between his teeth and folded his arms across his chest. “Sorry, Carpy.”

Carpenter jabbed him harder. “I’m in charge here.”

McHale growled, grabbed the stick, and threw across the room. “You ever touch me with that again, I’ll shove it where the sun don’t shine.”

Carpenter jumped to his feet. He jabbed his finger in McHale’s chest. “You--”

“What are you gonna do…” McHale challenged. “…throw me in the brig for refusing to do it in Binghamton’s office?”

“Well…well…” Carpenter blustered, red in the face. “But…why…”

McHale stared at him for a long moment. “You really don’t know, do you?”

Carpenter stiffened. He opened his mouth but nothing came out. A choked, gurgling sound escaped his throat.

McHale slapped his back. “You all right, Carpy?”

Carpenter jerked away. “That’s Acting Commander Carpenter to you,” he yelled. He went back to his side of the desk. “And I’ll make Captain Binghamton proud. I’ll see your band of thieves in the brig.” He shooed McHale away. “Out. Out. Out.”

“Fine.” McHale yanked the door open. It took all he had not to shout. “Let me know when Acting Commander Carpenter is gone and my Lucky is back.”

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