Work Text:
The Kitchen Prankster
by Pirate Turner
Rogue's voice could be heard bellowing from within the kitchen throughout the entire mansion. "MORPH, AH SAID GET OUTTA MAH KITCHEN!"
Morph gave Rogue his best puppy-dog expression as he pleaded, "But your food is so delicious!"
Unfortunately for Morph, Rogue was one of many women not affected by his charm. "Then ya can eat mah cookin' at lunch with the rest o' 'em."
"But I can't wait that long!" Morph protested. "I'm starving!"
Rogue fixed him with a cold Look of disbelief. "Ya can't be starvin'. Ya've done flinched off o' every plate an' tray in here!"
"But I'm still hungry!" Morph whined.
Rogue sighed and shook her head. "If ya ain't outta here by the time Ah count ta three, Ah'm gonna kick ya out," she warned. Turning to the stove, she tended a boiling pot as she began the countdown. "One . . ." She stirred the pot. "Two . . ." By the time she reached three, everything behind her was quiet and still. Turning around, she breathed a sigh of relief when she could find no sign of Morph.
A few minutes later, Rogue turned around from having been gathering some more ingredients from the refrigerator to find that the roll of paper towels seemed to have moved closer to the stove. Another few minutes later, as she was putting a dish of butter into the microwave, she thought she saw something move out of the corner of her eye. She whirled around but could find nothing unusual. This happened twice more before Rogue bent to open the door to the stove and check on her food. This time, when the movement began yet again, she finally managed to move her head swiftly enough to catch sight of its source. The paper towels were scooting directly towards the stove!
Quickly slamming the door to the stove, Rogue darted towards the roll of paper towels. She easily grabbed the top part, but the end swung up towards her face! She managed to catch it in her other gloved hand just before it was able to make contact with her nose. They began an odd dance across the kitchen: the towels fighting to break free while Rogue fought just as desperately to keep her grip on them.
The struggle continued until Rogue smelled an unusual odor coming from the stove. She sniffed the air and then let out a shrill screech that echoed through the kitchen. "MAH FOOD! IT'S BURNIN'!" Dropping the towels, she raced to the stove.
A few seconds later, as Rogue solemnly lifted her burned steak out of the belly of the oven, a voice asked from behind her, "Is it dead?"
"It's more'n dead," she answered sadly, trying unsuccessfully to stick a fork into the meat. The fork refused to go into the hard, burned meat, and she finally let it fall to the counter with a Thunk. She whirled around, her angry, green eyes fixing a solid, furious stare onto the man. "This is all your fault, Morph! If ya'd stay'd outta mah kitchen like Ah told ya to, this wouldn't have happened!" Before Morph could even respond, Rogue's right fist connected with his face, and he fell out cold from her super strength!
The End