Work Text:
The Vow
by Pirate Turner
Sydney Cooke sighed as she stepped out into the new day. The golden rays of the rising sun assaulted her face, and she groaned slightly as she slid her sunglasses down over her darkened eyes. The night before had been even rougher than the ones that she had long ago grown accustomed to enduring as a Texas Ranger. They had lost their charge the day before, and she had blamed herself because she had been the one on guard when the criminals had burst in. They had managed to reel in the state's largest drug dealer but not without a price, several actually -- the lives of his wife and daughter and a wide assortment of bruises and broken bones and ribs sprinkled throughout the whole of Dallas' law enforcement.
She sighed as she thought back to the wife and her four year-old daughter. She should have been able to stop it. She should have reacted faster, somehow moved more swiftly. She should have known that there was a secret panel that lowered from the library above to the bedroom below. She should have stopped them, but she had failed them. They were dead, because she had failed in her job, her duty, to protect them. Tears threatened to return to her eyes, but then she remembered Gage. He had not left her side until late last night, and his words returned to her even now. She knew he was right. It wasn't her fault. Any of them could have been on duty at that time, and all would have failed just as miserably as she. They had searched every inch of that safehouse for anything unknown, but everybody had missed that one spot on the floor that triggered the chute. Besides, who would have imagined that the new Mayor who had donated the safehouse would have been in league with the druglord?
Syd sighed and shook her head. That wasn't her fault. As much as it hurt and as guilty as she still felt and would feel for a long time to come, it wasn't her fault. What had happened last night, however, was entirely her fault. She had paused at a red light and now ran a frustrated hand through her long, brown hair. Her control had slipped again. Somewhere in all the confusion of her grief and his consolement last night, her guard had fallen and she had kissed him. A tremble ran through her at the memory of her lips on his. At first, he had returned her kiss, but then he had gently pushed her away from him. An arrow of pain laced through her heart as she recalled the hurt look on his handsome face and what he had told her. He wanted her; she knew he did just as she wanted him. However, he had known that she was not in her right frame of mind at that time and had refused to take advantage of her. She had apologized, but although he had accepted her apology, his pain had never left his eyes.
Her thoughts continued as she pulled into a parking space at Ranger Headquarters and started inside. Gage was always there for her. He had been there for her every single time she had needed him, constantly going beyond what she would expect from any one, what she had ever dared to expect from any one, but it seemed that she always repaid him with pain. She knew he must think that she toyed with his feelings, but nothing could be further from the truth. As she neared her desk, she scanned the room for the object of her thoughts, but he was nowhere to be seen. When her eyes moved to her desk, however, she found a rose waiting for her. Her eyes widened in surprise, and she hurried to her desk.
He had done this before -- leaving a single, solitary red rose on her desk with no message or name attached --, but somehow the little surprises he left for her never ceased to surprise her. Of course, he had yet to admit to a single one, but she knew they were from him. No one else cared that much about her. No one else cared as much about her as he did nor did any one mean as much to her. As she lifted the thornless rose, her fingers brushed a piece of paper, but she thought nothing of it as she lifted the flower to her nose and, closing her eyes, inhaled its sweet scent. She stood there, reveling in its scent, for a moment before reopening her eyes to look for her "Secret Admirer".
She still did not see any sign of Gage, but she did catch a reassuring smile from a passing blonde. "Alex, have you seen Gage?"
The question seemed to catch the District Attorney by surprise as her pace faltered and her gaze dropped from Syd's. "Not since he left that for you," was the only answer she gave before ducking quickly into her office.
Sydney's eyebrows furrowed in concern at the way Alex had reacted to the simple question, and her gaze again fell across her desk. This time, she noticed the note hurriedly scrawled out in Gage's handwriting. As she picked up the piece of paper and began to read what was written there, her heart shuddered in expectant fear and then stopped in horror as realization dawned.
This might come as quite a shock,
But I've given it a lot of thought.
This thing that's come between us can't be ignored.
I've taken all I can;
This is where it's gotta end.
'Cause I can't be your friend anymore.
An' I can't be accused,
Of not bein' there for you.
How many nights have you shown up at my door?
I hope you understand,
That this wasn't in my plans,
But I can't be your friend anymore.
An' it's killin' me to know you,
Without havin' a chance to hold you.
An' all I wanna do is show you,
How I really feel inside.
You can run to me,
You can laugh at me,
Or you can walk right out that door.
But I can't be your friend anymore.
Tears streamed down her face as she read the message, and for the first time in her life, Sydney didn't try to stop them. Her hands shook so badly that the rose and note both dropped from her hands. "Alex! ALEX!" she yelled for her friend as she dashed through the room and toward the closed door of the DA's office. The other Rangers turned to look at her. She heard them whisper amongst themselves, but she didn't care. She didn't care how much of a spectacle she might be making or how big a fool she might look with tears and mascara running down her cheeks. She only cared about Gage, and the fear of losing him caused her heart to swell up within her throat so much that she could barely breathe.
A hand touched her shoulder, and she whirled around, hoping that it might be her beloved but knowing at the same time that it wasn't. Walker looked down at her in concern but said only, "He left for the airport twenty minutes ago."
She said nothing. No words were needed, but even if there had been, she would not have wasted time on saying them. She turned and ran from the building as if all the Demons of Hell were nipping at her booted heels, and when she sped out of the parking lot and through the busy streets, she drove as if her very life depended on her reaching the airport before he could board the plane that would take him to whatever forsaken spot of the world he had chosen, the one that would take him out of her world, out of her life, forever.
As she drove, more tears spilled down Sydney's cheeks, and had she not known the roads so well, she would have wrecked before even five minutes had passed with her tearing up the pavement. She heard sirens turn on behind her, but instead of slowing, she only fumbled with her own light until it, too, blazed in signal of official business. She knew using the light and siren for personal business would get her into trouble later, but she didn't care about that. All she cared about was reaching Gage and stopping him before he could leave her.
She continued to cry, and choked sobs broke from her throat. She couldn't lose him. She loved him. She had loved him since the first time they had fought side by side, and it had not taken her much longer to realize that she did. It had taken her years to admit the truth to herself, however, but when Alex and she had been held prisoner in Mexico and she had come closer to never seeing him again than she ever had before, she had finally realized the truth. Still, she had kept her true feelings from him, not daring to admit that she loved him for fear that a romantic relationship between them would, for some reason that she could not even begin to fathom at the moment, not work out and she would lose him not only as a lover but also as her best friend and loyal partner.
Now, however, it had finally come to the point that she had known it would one day reach but had always prayed would not happen for years to come -- the day that she either had to tell him that she loved him or lose him in all ways forever. She did not know what she was going to tell him. She didn't know if he would be able to understand why it seemed that she had played him for so long or if he would be able to forgive her for hiding the truth and hurting him so many times. She only knew that she couldn't let him get on that plane and that somehow, no matter what it took, she had to convince him to stay and give her another chance not only as his partner or friend but also, and most importantly, as his love.
Sydney peeled into the airport's parking lot on two wheels and slid to an abrupt, screeching halt right before its doors. Twenty more vehicles followed swiftly behind her, bringing screams from some and sending others running. She darted out of her car and into the building, leaving the other, puzzled officers to deal with the chaos in her wake. She ran to the desk, flashing her badge as she did so. The paled, shaking clerk looked as if he would melt into a puddle if she so much as shouted "BOO!" at him, but she took no notice of him other than to demand, having to fight to choke the words out from around the lump in her throat, "Gage. Francis Gage. Where?"
The clerk pointed a shaking finger behind her and to her right before fainting and falling to the floor behind the desk. Sydney whirled, her tear-filled eyes wild, and froze when she saw Gage step out of the shadows.
So, baby, now it's up to you:
Do I win or do I lose?
Will my heart fly or lie broken on the floor.
Well, take me as I am,
'Cause I wanna be your man.
But I can't be your friend anymore.
He was grinning from ear to ear, as he walked straight toward her. His eyes sparkled, and he seemed to be about to laugh. Her despair began to change to anger, and she glared at him. She had thought she was about to lose him, and yet here he was without any luggage, looking no more ready to board a plane than she was, and -- a chuckle broke forth from her partner -- laughing, laughing at her! "Francis Gage," she snarled, "how dare you --!"
Yet as soon as the torrent of angry words had began to pour from her lips, they were silenced with a kiss. Gage had quickly closed the distance between them, had gently wrapped one hand around Sydney's elbow, and had lowered his lips over hers all in only a couple of seconds. His laughter at witnessing the chaos that his beloved's determination to reach him had caused, and still was causing, ebbed as did her anger at the passion that ignited between them. Gently, he lifted his lips from hers, but his face remained so close to hers that their foreheads touched.
"Don't leave." Those were the only two words she could choke out past the lump in her throat and the confusion of the last few seconds, but the pleading tone she whispered them in and the way her teary eyes desperately searched his said much more.
An' it's killin' me to know you,
Without havin' a chance to hold you.
An' all I wanna do is show you,
How I really feel inside.
You can run to me,
You can laugh at me,
Or you can walk right out that door.
But I can't be just friends anymore.
"I didn't think you'd come," he murmured in response, still amazed that she was actually here and that she clearly cared so much for him.
"Of course I came, but why aren't you . . . ?" she started to ask, and a sly grin began to sneak over his lips again.
"Do you want me to get on a plane?"
"Of course not!" she exclaimed sharply, a myriad of emotions flashing in her dark eyes. It was only then that the thought that none of this was truly real, that it was all some kind of prank, occurred to her, and she stepped back from him in horror. "Don't tell me you --"
"No," he was quick to reassure her, again closing the distance between them and wrapping his strong arms around her slender waist in a gentle hold. "I would never do that to you, Sydney," he told her truthfully, gazing down into the beautiful, tear and mascara-streaked face of the woman he loved. "I had every intention of getting on that plane, but when it came right down to it, I couldn't do it. I couldn't leave you. I knew I should -- or at least, I thought I knew I should, but I couldn't. I would rather have you in my life than nothing more than a friend or partner than not have you in it at all, and to not have you in my life would . . . " He groped for words but could not find just the precise term he was looking for. "It would kill me, Syd. To live without you would be like trying to live without air, without oxygen, without water, without food, without . . . "
He was starting to babble, and she gently laid a single fingertip over his lips. "I'm sorry, Gage. I . . . I never wanted to hurt you, but I didn't want to risk losing you either."
Confusion creased his forehead. "How would you . . .?" he whispered against her finger.
"If it hadn't worked out . . . "
"That's nonsense, Syd. I love you. You obviously . . ." He paused, wanting to hear the words from her lips first.
"Yes, I love you, Gage." She spoke the words with surprising calmness, but his heart still leapt higher than the stars at hearing those five little words. "But I was so scared -- "
"There's no need for you to be, Syd. You're the only one I want, the only one I've ever wanted."
"But what about --?"
"I only tried with the others to make you jealous. None of them even came close to what I felt, what I feel, and what I will always feel for you. I love you, Sydney Cooke. I have loved you since the day I first laid eyes on you, and I will love you until the day I die and beyond. For as long as there is even the tiniest fragment of this body, this heart, this soul left, I will love you. Nothing can change that. Not time. Not other people. Not things beyond our control. Not even you. I love you. I always have. I always will." He paused to search her eyes and face for some sign of comprehension. "Do you understand?" he asked in a hushed whisper.
Her heart had joined his in a dance of love far beyond the stars. She nodded slowly, choking down the tears that welled in her throat and made it so hard to speak. "I love you too, Gage. I always have. I always will, and I know now that nothing will ever change that. I only wish that I had told you sooner, before it came to this, before I hurt you, before . . . "
"Excuse me, Rangers?"
Gage waved the perplexed cop away. He knew there'd be questions later and that their ears would not stop burning from gossip for months to come, but he didn't care about any of that. All he cared about was the wonderful woman in his arms and their love -- his love for her and, better yet by far, her returned love for him --, and he would let nothing stop him from completing this vow and union of hearts and souls.
We can't be just friends anymore.
His hands lifted to cup her beautiful face, and his thumbs gently wiped away her tears as his mouth lowered over hers. Their lips met in a kiss that began as gentle but soon sent both their loving hearts and joyous souls spiraling together throughout the galaxy.
The End