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A Lover Is Forever

Summary:

Tim’s got more friends than he ever thought he’d have. But Kon is something more, and when he leaves, Tim becomes determined to get him back.

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A Lover Is Forever 

 

Tim had a lot of friends. More than he’d ever thought possible when he was growing up.

 

Not that he wasn’t growing still, but…

 

He had a lot of friends. He had Dick, who was like a brother to him, and Alfred, who was sort of a father and sort of a grandfather. He had Cass, who was like a sister to him most of the time.

 

The other times, she had generally gotten her costume torn in a fight, and he couldn’t help but notice how a lifetime of fighting had toned her body, which wasn’t very brotherly.

 

So Tim had friends, and family, real family, unlike his Dad and Dana, who were…different.

 

Still, friends and even family came and went. He’d lost his mother, and he’d only been able to keep in touch with Ives from his old school. It had been pretty easy to keep in touch with Cissie, because even though she’d left the team she was still always around. Then Young Justice had disbanded, and even thought Bart called rather frequently, and Cassie kept them all in the loop about Greta and Cissie when she started attending Elias…it wasn’t the same.

 

He kept in touch with Kon, though. Even though in the back of his mind he sometimes wondered if maybe he shouldn’t, if maybe he should just let it go, try and forget it.

 

Try and forget those surreally perfect times during that one month of June when he and Kon had had something; something more than friendship. Then Apokalips happened, and harsh words were said, and Cassie, more confident in herself now that she was leader, started actively pursuing Kon.

 

And Tim, never having pursed anyone, and not knowing how to express the morass of emotions that were inside him, tangled up like a basket of multi-colored yarn a litter of kittens had played in, just…did nothing.

 

Then he and his friends all got asked to join the newest team of Teen Titans. Cassie was angry, her school situation getting to her, as well as, apparently, Kon not having talked to her except when she made the first move. He himself was brooding too much over problems with Stephanie and the question of were they or weren’t they dating to deal with Bart’s usual exuberance.

 

And Kon…he didn’t know what Kon thought about being on the new team. Being back with his friends. Tim didn’t get a chance to talk with Kon much at all before the truth of Kon’s parentage was revealed to them both. Kon considered it a betrayal, albeit a minor one, that Robin looked at his genetic code without his permission.

 

But it was something they needed to know, something Kon needed to know, just so the question wouldn’t be there for the rest of his life, plaguing his every waking moment.

 

Plaguing him like the thoughts Tim had, when he allowed his mind to slow down, of whether or not whatever he and Kon had had during those glorious three weeks a year ago would ever be able to be revived.

 

It happened all the time on television and in the real world, but somehow Tim just couldn’t countenance that the boy he’d given his virginity to would never look at him again like he had during those sweat-filled nights. Friendship just wasn’t enough, not when they’d once had something more, something amazing. Maybe Tim could have been content with the memories if they’d ended the relationship on better terms, or even if they’d just had more time together before breaking up, but…

 

Tim didn’t think so. Not that his thoughts about romantic relationships had anything more than theory to base themselves on. Theory and his own feelings on the matter.

 

Somehow, he had the feeling that even if he dated Steph, got married to her, and had the requisite two point five children while crime-fighting at her side, there would always be a part of him that pined for Kon.

 

Tim wondered if that was love or obsession. It didn’t feel anything like what he’d felt for Dick after they’d met the first time, but obsession could take many different forms.

 

So could love, for that matter.

 

***

 

It only took three weeks of being a member on a team with Kon before Tim couldn’t stand it anymore. Raven was alive again, Bart had given up being Impulse for Kid Flash in a misguided effort to grow up, and Cassie had a new lasso that shocked people with electricity – and she wouldn’t talk about where she’d gotten it. Things were changing much too fast, and if they changed anymore Tim didn’t know if he and Kon would be able to work anything out.

 

In the darkest times Tim wondered if maybe he shouldn’t try to get back together with Kon, if maybe their summer fling was best left in the past with other childish things. But in the brighter times all he could remember was the way Kon used to smile at him, eyes beaming so big and happy no matter what his lips actually looked like that Tim would have to smile back.

 

Tim wanted that feeling, that closeness, that pure intimacy back. So, the very next Friday evening after dinner, right after Bart finished Kon’s math homework and the latter boy was in a (hopefully) mellow mood, Tim cornered him in his room.

 

“Kon, we need to talk,” Robin declared, using a no-nonsense tone of voice so his anxiety wouldn’t be apparent. He couldn’t keep himself from shifting nervously, and was glad his cape covered the movements.

 

Even as agitated and worried as he was, however, Tim was Robin, and he noticed how Kon’s shoulders tensed at his words. “What’s there to talk about, Rob?” the other teen asked with feigned flippancy.

 

Tim pursed his lips and closed the door to Kon’s room, walking over to stand in front of him. “If you don’t know, then this is going to be harder than I thought,” he said, letting out a small gust of air.

 

“What is?” Kon asked, and he looked a bit panicked.

 

Tim reigned in his urge to sigh – again. “Our conversation.”

 

“What conversation?” Now Kon was just being contrary.

 

Tim frowned and gave Kon a look. “The conversation I’m trying to have with you.” The ‘dork/moron/doofus/other invective’ was left unsaid, mostly because they were growing up – or supposed to be – and weren’t supposed to be that childish anymore. Except when they were, which ended up being…a lot of the time. “The conversation we need to have in order for us to work out the problems in our friendship,” he added, trying not to think about wants and shoulds and other things involved in maturing.

 

“What problems?” Kon’s voice was strident and full of frustration. He threw his hands up in the air, acting as if he just didn’t care – or, more likely, as if by acting as if nothing was wrong he could make it so.

 

“The problems that started in the aftermath of last June,” Tim said pointedly, and breathed a sigh of relief when Kon blushed and slumped down in his desk chair. He couldn’t keep his own cheeks from reddening, but with his mask and the hair hanging in his eyes, even if Kon did look at him, he probably wouldn’t be able to tell.

 

Probably. This was Kon, after all, and while he’d never been the most observant of superheroes, he had been Tim’s best friend for almost his entire life.

 

“I dunno what to say, Tim,” Kon said quietly. He sounded more serious than he ever had except when talking about people dying or…leaving. “I mean, when we were together, it was…great, but now…” He shrugged and slumped back into his chair. “I dunno what to do.” Kon looked at Tim lazily, as if disinterested in the whole proceeding. His hands were tightened on the arms of the chair, however, and his whole body posture was clearly a show put on for Tim’s benefit. “What do you want to do now?”

 

Tim swallowed down his first, second, and third responses, all of which were variations on ‘I want you.’ He wasn’t just going to jump into saying anything like that. Especially not when it sounded as if Kon had already gotten over him, even though it looked…ambiguous, at best.

 

“I realize that you probably feel differently about…what transpired between us back in Young Justice,” Tim said, wishing that he didn’t have to lay all his thoughts bare just so he could be sure that Kon understood him, “but I don’t exactly have your background in…romance,” he couldn’t help his blush and hurried to finish what he’d planned to say, “and I want–”

 

“Wait, wait.” Kon held up his hands, a confused, slightly angry look on his face. “You think that I…well, that I sleep around?” Now he even sounded angry, and less confused.

 

“Not exactly,” Tim said, even as he thought the opposite. “Just…you’re always talking about girls and scoring, and since you’re my best friend I didn’t think you’d lied to me.”

 

The accusation took a bit of the enraging wind out of Kon’s angry sails, but not all of it. “I didn’t, man, I just…exaggerated a bit.” He coughed and looked away, mumbling under his breath, “More than a bit.”

 

Tim bit down on his lower lip, then asked, “How much?” Because while he and Steph had done some things together, both her own experiences, and his own lack of experience had kept them from much more than foreplay. When he’d gotten together with Kon, all his own insecurities had just seemed to fall away. Everything they’d done, it had been…amazing. Being inside Kon’s body…or having Kon inside him…he’d never felt that close to anyone.

 

And he’d never felt as devastated as he had when he and Kon had broken up, the angry words said on Apokalips cutting into him like knives, but not even equaling a fraction of the hurt he felt in his heart.

 

“I…Tana and I…we got to third base a couple times, but she was kinda worried about the fact that I wasn’t really legal.” Kon swallowed and looked away. “And after she…” his right hand clenched into a fist where it lay on his thigh, “well, it just didn’t seem right to jump into anything with anyone.”

 

Looking straight into Tim’s eyes, cheeks flushed with embarrassment and other, less tangible, emotions, Kon said, “I…I know you think that I had more experience than you, and I did, but…you were my first, too, Tim.”

 

Tim felt his own face heat up, and had to swallow down a lump of emotion before he could speak. To know that he and Kon weren’t so different after all; it was…nice. “Be that as it may, my point is that I…I want it back.” At the puzzled look Kon dared to send him, Tim clarified, “What we had back in Young Justice. I want it – I want us back.” He blushed and tried not to fidget too much, wishing he’d drawn his cape around himself. Whenever situations became intense in regards to emotions, he always wanted to hide.

 

He’d never really been able to hide from Kon. Most of the time, once he got back his own shyness, he never really wanted to.

 

Kon…at that moment, he quit hiding from Tim, too. The sheer yearning on his face, the aching want…it echoed the feelings Tim felt.

 

Kon licked his lips nervously, leaning forward until he almost tipped out of his chair, blushed, cleared his throat while looking at the floor, and then turned hungry blue eyes on Tim. “I, uh…” he swallowed, and licked his lips again, as if for courage, “I’d like that too. Tim.”

 

Tim smiled, and pulled Kon up to his feet, his question finally answered. He leaned up, Kon leaned down, and their lips in their first kiss in way too long.

 

Tim had been right to think that there was something there, something more than friendship.

 

Friends and family sometimes stayed and sometimes didn’t, but a lover…

 

A lover was forever.