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“Commander Drake, of the 34th Air Marines, Retired, woke up and looked out the window, noting that the sky was it’s normal green, with orange clouds floating above his farm….” Dani stopped, eyebrow arched. “Yes?”
“Aunt Dani, the sky isn’t green, it’s blue.”
Dani sighed and looked at Tessa. “I know Serena has told you not to interrupt.” She grinned and started talking again. “Commander Drake rolled out of his bed and walked to the window, scratching his butt.” Dani waited for the giggles to stop. “He looked at his pile of dirty clothes and shook his head, then walked to his dresser and got out his last clean pair of underwear…”
“You said underwear.” The little blonde giggled.
“Yes I did, Melinda, now hush.” She grinned. “Since he hadn’t done his laundry for two months, all he had left was one pair, and they were too big. He pulled on his UnderRoos….” Dani waited. “Yes, Liz?”
“What kind of UnderRoos?”
“Scooby Doo. Like I said, they were too big, and after he put on his requisite farmer’s biballs, he reached back and yanked them up, giving himself a monstrously huge wedgie.” Dani laughed with the little girls. “Then, Commander Drake, of the 15th Space Navy, Reserved….”
“You said the 34th Air Marines, Retired earlier.” Tessa stated.
“You sure you aren’t really Aunt Skyye’s kid?” Dani rolled her eyes. “ Ok, the 34th Air Marines, Retired, walked outside into the tall blue grass, listening to the horses moo, the cows neigh, and that dam… doggone duck quacking at the rising sun. Tired of the noise he made the mistake of taking off his boot and chucking it at the duck. Turning, his bare foot landed right in the middle of a fresh pile of pig poopie.” After the little girl squeals of disgust stopped, Dani continued. “See, he missed the duck, but the duck didn’t miss, he winged that boot and hit Commander Drake square in the back of the head. He very carefully walked back to the house and grabbed the hose so he could clean off his foot. He turned on the water, but nothing came out. Stupidly, he looked into the hose, which was what that mean old duck was waiting for, and he unclamped his bill, so that dirty water hit Commander Drake right in the face.”
“Poor Uncle Drake.” Melinda shook her head sadly. “So many bad things happened to him.”
Tessa pushed Melinda. “It’s not about my Daddy, you take that back.”
“Is too.”
“Is not.”
“Girls, can I finish this, then you can rip into each other.”
“Is not.” Tessa whispered.
“Is too.” Melinda stuck her tongue out.
“Enough.” Dani gave them one eyebrow. “I’m trying to tell a story, here.”
“I wanna hear the story, Aunt Dani.” Liz twisted her fingers in her long blonde hair. “Please?”
“You will, Punkin.” Dani cleared her throat. “Where was I? Oh yeah, dirty water in the face. Commander Drake decided to go into the house and change clothes. He had just taken off his remaining boot, and was trying to pull up his underwear again, when someone knocked on the door, and he gave himself another giant wedgie. He opened the door, and there, on the front porch, was…..”
“The WoogieMan?”
“Not quite.” Dani grinned.
“My Mommie?”
“No, SHE’S the WoogieMan.”
“Is not.”
Dani raised an eyebrow. “Say that after you wake her up too early.”
“Do you mean Aunt Serena or Aunt Kiera?”
“Melinda, your moms are just as bad.” Dani said dryly, before another fight could break out. “No, it was… The Greg. And Commander Drake was astounded, the sky turned blue, the clouds became white, and the grass, well, it was actually Kentucky blue grass, so it stayed the same. And his UnderRoos shrank to fit him, and the pig poopie disappeared from his bare foot.” Dani smiled. “His bad, sad days were at an end. The day started out just like any other, who would have thought that a mussy haired, goofy grinning guy could make everything all better.” She smiled. “And that’s the true story of how Drake and Greg met.”
“My Mommies’ say you lie like a rug.” Tessa jumped on her lap.
“Yeah? Your Mommies’ are right.” She tickled the little girl, then was suddenly begging for mercy when Melinda and Liz jumped in to help Tess. “Oh, please, someone save me.”
“Why?” Prue’s amused voice only spurred the girls to greater efforts. “Get her feet.”
“No fair, that’s cheating.” Dani snorted, trying not to kick a kid. “Truce! TRUCE!!!!!”
“What do we get?”
“Geez, Liz, you are your mother’s child.” Dani gasped. “Rootbeer floats?” She took a deep breath when the little girls scrambled off of her. “Thanks for the help, Prudence.”
“My pleasure.” Prue held out one hand, helping Dani to her feet.
“Oh, the parents are here.” Dani grinned, the floats had hypered out the girls. “I hope they don’t get mad.” She and Prue listened to the non stop chatter from the other room. “Uh-oh, they’re whipping out full names. I think I better….”
“DANIELLE KAREN CHAMBERS!!!!”
“Go.” Dani finished, a bit too late. “Hi Serena, how was your day?”
“You gave them sugar?” Serena tapped one foot.
“Well, yeah.” Dani’s grin was unrepentant. “Caffeine, too.”
“You did not.” Piper stood next to Serena, flexing her hands.
“It’ll wear off. Eventually.” Dani gave her a cheesy grin. “I gotta go, I hear the barbeque grill calling my name.”
“We’re staying for dinner.”
“I know.” Dani took Prue’s hand and led her outside, leaning against the brick wall, her arms wrapped around Prue’s waist, hands splayed gently on her softly rounded belly.
“They’re gonna pay us back for that, you know.” Prue spoke quietly, gently stroking Dani’s arm.
“Yeah, but not for a few more years, until this one is old enough.”