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Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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Published:
2020-11-05
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576
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His Release

Summary:


Fandom: CSI New York.
Character: Danny Messer.
Ratings: FRAO.
Beta: SRS/Silvia *hugs tight* As always thanks a bunches.
Warnings: Dark thoughts, drug addiction, paranoia, talk of suicide, mention of same sex relationship.
Disclaimer: I don't own him, just borrowing and I promise to return him when I'm done.
Summary: Cocaine was now his best friend.

Work Text:


His Release
by Aiden

He walked out of the subway, constantly looking over his shoulder. Someone was following him. He picked up his pace, needing to get home as soon as possible. He needed release.

Opening the door to his apartment, he turned to look down the hallway, "Who's there?" He got no answer but fear crept up on him. Quickly closing the door, he locked it with a chain and deadbolt.

He didn't bother turning on the lights; he went strait for his bed room, roaming through a drawer, finding what he was looking for, what he needed.

He placed the box on the bed and took out the syringe and the vials he had stowed in the small box. He sat down on the bed, filled the syringe with the clear liquid from one of the vials.  Putting a rubber band around his bicep, he forced the vein to appear. Deliberately, he inserted the needle into his arm.

As the liquid rushed through his veins, he leaned back into the pillows, waiting for oblivion. The drugs in his system made his eyes roll back into his sockets till only the whites were visible. He needed to forget the mess that was his life, his existence.

He didn't even know why he was still here, why he was still alive. Once, he'd tried to take his life but his boss had interrupted his departure from this hellhole. He'd awaken in the hospital, everyone telling him he was lucky. Lucky? He wanted to die, wanted to get away from the pain he lived with every day as he walked into the lab and watched his best friend, his love with another man… his boss.

The minute he had walked into the lab, he'd fallen head over heals in love with Don. Soon after, his world had shattered when Aiden had told him that Don and Mac were an item. He had bolted out of the room and out of the lab.

That had been two years ago, and every time he came into work, he'd had put up a front. He'd become friends with Don cause it was the only way to get close to him. But when he couldn't take it anymore, he searched for other ways to forget, to make the pain go away. He'd found it in the drugs; cocaine was now his best friend. Too bad it only lasted for a short time, and when it came back, it hit him hard in the face like an iron fist.

He didn't know how long he could take this, seeing them together, just pretending that everything was okay. They'd all started worrying about him, started asking questions. He kept telling them that nothing was wrong, that everything was just fine.

"Why couldn't you have loved me!" He yelled, breaking down and crying.

The little voice in his head taunts him, telling him how easy it would be to step out of this life, out of this world. He knows how easy it would be to take a little too much of it. This new, best friend can help him leave it all behind him, the mess, the pain. 'Just one more shot and it's all over,' the voice whispers.

As he stares at the syringe in his hand, he knows it would be so easy… "No," he shakes his head, "There is still a chance he will love me one day."

 

THE END.