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In my life, I have loved two very different men. Henri Ducard was the first. His name tastes like incense and Asian tea in my mouth, feels like the cold of the mountains on my skin. Henri was my mentor first, my teacher, the embodiment of the type of warrior I trained to become. When I fight an opponent with real training, the ghost of past sparring matches with Henri plays against my senses.
Jim's name tingles in my throat like the air in Gotham, like a drag from a cigarette; seeing him, talking to him, is like the warmth of the little fire Alfred used to build next to the pond I'd skated on as a child. With Jim, we came into things as equals from the beginning. Despite my more extensive training and greater resources, Jim has the advantage of being able to be open about his investigations, his intelligence.
Henri was like the snows that fell in the compound, high above and far from the pollution of the city, white until the melt started to mix the mud into it. Jim is like the snow in Gotham, gray form the cinders and salt the moment it touches down, but lingering tenaciously in the shadows of the tall buildings. Henri's attention was like a fine cashmere sweater; Jim's is like a wool army blanket.
I was born to wealth and privilege. I can afford the best of the best, and pay to have my life made as easy as possible. But traveling the world, staying in slums and international hellholes, I came to have an appreciation of the practical and functional. As much as I loved Henri, I knew it wasn't enough. I didn't love him enough to sacrifice my sense of justice to satisfy his higher vision of the world. And as much as I love Jim, I don't love him enough, either. I don't love him enough to make my crusade public. To discard both my masks and use official channels to seek justice in Gotham. Henri didn't love me enough to let me cleanse Gotham in my own way. But Jim, Jim truly loves me. He doesn't ask me to give up my quest, he doesn't try to force me to leave tings to the "professionals". He lets me be who I am. And for him, what I can give is enough. That's enough for me.