Work Text:
Announcements
by Telcontar
Telcontar09@q.com
Dr. Elizabeth Weir stood in the control room of Atlantis and finished her daily announcements to all personnel over the intercom. She ended saying: "And now Dr McKay has some very important information for all of you."
McKay cleared his throat just as he turned on his headset, so all Atlantis heard the noise.
"I just have two things to tell you. First, do not take down the curtains that came with your room, and if you already have taken them down, report to the bulletin board online and sign up for an engineer to come by and reattach them. Do not attempt to reattach them yourselves as they are part of the solar energy collecting equipment that is keeping this city on the surface of the water instead of under it.
"I don't care if they are purple, pink or green sparkly and offend your manly honor. Unless you know how to breathe water and plan on teaching the rest of us the trick, the curtains stay up. If you do not sign up to get your curtains re-hung --and we will be checking--I will personally make sure you have cold showers until I consider . What!" the intercom hummed with muted voices. Then McKay returned.
"It's not a threat if it's the truth, Major, and don't think I won't be in to re-hang your curtains today...unless the Wraith show up.
"What? Oh, hem. The next item is the beds on Atlantis. Contrary to popular opinion and the betting pools, the Ancients who used to live in Atlantis were not necessarily skinny midgets. The beds are designed to allow more floor space during the day and more bed at night. What!"
More muffled voices were heard in the background.
"Dr Weir informs me they are called a 'day bed'". Everyone listening who had had to spend time with McKay could hear the 'whatever' in his voice.
"If you know someone with the ATA gene, you may ask them if in their spare time, when they are not operating ancient equipment for important scientific study. What!... Alright, there should be an indentation on the right hand facing side of the bed, which when depressed and thought at will make the bed longer and wider. Those who are not nice to someone with the ATA gene should sign up and time permitting someone will come and make your bed bigger. Those of you with the ATA gene will have the advantage of more floor space and a larger bed at night. Those without the natural or gene therapy ATA will have to choose one size and live with it. The gene carriers will be much too busy in the labs to open and close your beds for you. The sign-up form is already posted online. And if you haven't signed up for the gene therapy treatment, do so immediately. Now Major Sheppard has some announcements."
McKay turned off his radio, so it was only the control room crew who heard the muttered, "No, you can enlarge your own bed, Major. Oh, um, all right," before McKay fled.
They saw the Major grin before he turned on his earpiece and starting his own announcements for the day.
END
A/N: I went on a fanfic reading binge and kept reading about those darn beds and how small they were. We've seen the Ancients, they wouldn't fit on those beds anymore than Sheppard does. So there has to be a reason besides the prop department skimping on size. Seeing how little space there is in John's room for McKay to pace, I figured there has to be a way to make them larger when the resident wants to go to sleep. This is set after Hide and Seek but early enough that they are still discovering simple things about Atlantis, and yet don't have a ZPM to waste energy. Also to explain away John's sparkly curtains, other than his 'gay decorator' gene.