Chapter Text
Husband
by Scorpio
"ZEUS!!!!!"
Hearing the confused anger and stressed out frustration in his youngest child's voice, Zeus flashed into being in the middle of the dust choked road to see Hercules kneeling down next to his little blonde friend and holding a rag to a jagged cut along the mortal's arm. All around them, houses and shops burned fitfully as people swarmed around in a mild panic, either fleeing or trying to contain the damage and prevent it from spreading. The injured lay about groaning in pain and the dead just lay upon the ground, bleeding into the dirt.
A low snarl pulled his attention back to his child.
"Father! You've *got* to do something about Ares! Enough is enough. This...this is just *too* much."
Zeus glanced around at the chaos that surrounded them and figured that now was not the time to admit that he himself had *ordered* Ares to attack this once bustling town. Hercules was the only one of this children that still held onto any illusions about him, and he wasn't ready to lose that yet. So, instead of fessing up, he made a totally unrelated observation that reinforced another of Hercules misconceptions.
"Well, Ares has quite a lot of his mother in him."
It wasn't a *lie*. Ares *did* have a lot of his mother's qualities in him...like her compassion and her obsession with details. While time and events had twisted both his son's and his wife's shared sense of compassion, it certainly hadn't *destroyed* it.
Hercules just grunted. His own opinions would color Zeus' vague statement however the demigod chose to take it, but Zeus wasn't about to correct him. Instead, he looked over at the burning remains of the town and noted that Ares hadn't completed all of the things that Zeus had asked him to. Ares would need to be punished for that.
"I mean, you don't know how *difficult* it was to stop him this time. It's like he was obsessed or something."
Zeus smiled softly at his youngest child but refused to say that the "or something" was a compulsion that he himself had laid on the WarGod. Instead he merely reached down and gently touched the blonde man's wound, healing it completely. Then he patted Hercules on the shoulder.
"Don't worry. I promise that I will have words with your brother about his actions here today."
Once again, the King of the Gods knew that his child would misunderstand his true meaning. And once again he declined to correct his misconceptions. Instead, he flashed away, back to Olympus.
~
Zeus bit back a sigh as Artemis flashed into his private study, her usually lovely face twisted into an angry pout. Pushing aside his irritation, he offered up a smile to his daughter and silently hoped that it would be a quick visit. He had a lot of work to clear from his desk if he wanted to find the time to sneak off to see his newest mortal lover.
"Yes, my dear?"
With the innate grace of an athlete, Artemis flung herself into one of his overstuffed chairs and absently fingered her bow.
"Dad, you've *got* to do something about that leather wearing, pain-in-the-ass, walking *hormone*!"
Zeus arched up one eyebrow in question. Almost *all* of his children were pain-in-the-ass walking hormones, but the whole leather thing narrowed it down a bit. To Ares and Eris. Or possibly Strife. Artemis caught his look of mild confusion and snarled.
"Ares! He won't leave my Amazons alone! This is a busy time of year for them and they aren't getting anything done because they are all too busy gossiping about who slept with the WarGod last night and who do they think will get a visit *this* night! I'm slowly losing *control*!"
Zeus nodded and plastered a wholly faked sympathetic expression on his face.
"Don't worry about it any longer, my precious pet. I'll talk to him and explain that he can't do that. If he were to take *one* lover, that would be different, but to try and subvert your followers? That's simply not allowed."
Artemis' face blossomed into a relived smile and she impulsively flung her arms around Zeus as she babbled her thanks into his ear. He patted her gently on the shoulder and soaked up her outpouring of love and adulation even as a small part of his mind made plans to go and visit her Amazons himself. He was certain that those lovely women would all need consoling once the WarGod stopped visiting them regularly.
~
It had been a wonderful day and he had been enjoying a delightful stroll among the brightly colored flower gardens when he came across his son and daughter. Ares and Aphrodite. Those two were an enigma to him. He didn't really understand either or them, nor what they saw in each other. When they were getting along, the sparks flew and when they *didn't* get along, sparks of a different sort flew.
He was too far away to hear what they were saying, but suddenly Ares disappeared in a flash of blood red sparkles and Aphrodite threw her hands up in the air in what seemed to be exasperation. Then, she too disappeared.
Zeus stood there for a long moment staring at the spot where they had stood. It looked to Zeus that War didn't understand Love either, nor did Love understand War. That thought, of course, led to other thoughts...all concerning his dark haired son. And of ways to keep him out of trouble...or at least out of his own hair.
~
It had been a long day, one filled with many complaints and even longer hours. Yet, despite all of his distractions, he found himself puzzling over Ares again and again. He had a sudden inspiration and it excited him all at once. Some tiny little voice in the back of his mind told him that he should just leave it alone, but he felt the need to do *something*, so he ignored it's warning and pushed ahead.
Flashing over to his wife's Temple, he found her busy at work, a desk full of scrolls in front of her and several scrying mirrors focused on various heavily pregnant mortals. He cleared his throat to announce himself.
"Dear? May I ask you a few quick questions?"
He hated feeling as if he were cringing, but Hera was one of the few beings who had the power to make his existence truly miserable and she could hold a grudge for a long long time. She didn't even look up from what she was working on.
"Yes, Zeus. What do you want?"
He frowned as he considered how to begin.
"Are you and Ares still not speaking to each other?"
The Queen of Olympus dropped her quill and looked up at that. A small frown graced her features, but Zeus could recognize the hint of sadness in her eyes. She peered at him suspiciously.
"Yes. Why?"
He hurried on.
"Well, I was just thinking that I knew a way to get him *past* that. You see, I know that he wouldn't want a long drawn out ceremony. Not one for crowds, our Ares is, but perhaps a set of wedding rings that *you* had personally blessed, binding him and his Consort forever?"
Zeus desperately hoped that his wife would be too excited about the idea of Ares getting married and the possibility that a set of rings from her would pave the way for reconciliation with her son to notice or even remember that as of just now, the WarGod wasn't *dating* anyone. At least, not seriously. As he hoped, Hera didn't ask any embarrassing questions about who, when or why. She merely smiled a blinding smile of pure happiness, which drove a shard of guilt into his heart, and then jumped out of her chair and raced over to a chest of drawers. Pulling open the top drawer, she reached in and took out a small box. Without question, she handed it over.
"The rings are in here. I had a set made for him and a set for Eris when they were first born. The blessing is already on them, all they have to do is place them on each other's fingers while both are willing and have given their consent. Once they are in place, they can never be removed again."
Zeus smiled. This was *just* what he was looking for. And it was all ready done. No need to wait. He was just about to leave when Hera did the one thing he had hoped that she wouldn't. She got curious.
"Tell me...who is it that Ares wishes to marry?"
Frantically, Zeus searched the vaults of his mind for someone, *anyone* to name. Someone that would make sense and would be enough of a challenge to keep Ares busy and out of everyone's hair.
"Jett!"
He grinned. That would work.
"You know, he's one of the triplets that Strife sired. Only a minor demigod, I know...but with this ring, it'll be enough to make him immortal, so there is no need to worry."
Relieved and excited, Hera smiled. A *real* smile and for the first time in a long time, Zeus remembered why he had married her in the first place. She really *was* a lovely woman.
~
Zeus had decided to wait until the morning to start on the next part of his plan. It had taken a while to actually find Ares, but find him, he did. It was only two minutes into their conversation that Zeus realized that he couldn't *force* Ares into doing this. Hera had specified that both parties had to be willing and give their consent to wear the rings. So...Zeus did the first thing that came to mind.
He got his son drunk while pretending to discuss an upcoming battle campaign.
Granted, he cheated by spiking the wine with pure spirits, but it *worked*. Amazingly. Ares was in a *grand* mood, giggling and laughing and generally relaxing in a way that Zeus hadn't been witness to in ages. Of course, he was drunk too, but that was a small price to pay. Right?
Finally figuring that if Ares drank too much more he'd simply pass out, Zeus decided that it was time to go fetch the other groom. It took several long moments and a couple of tries before he could fix his mind on his vague and blurry memories of Jett. Then, with an erratic burst of power, he flashed out of the Halls of War and into the middle of a forest.
He swayed on his feet as he peered with a drunken squint at Jett. Something seemed off about Strife's eldest triplet, but Zeus couldn't quite put his finger on *what* exactly, so he ignored that impulse. Instead, he spared a quick moment to giggle at the ridiculous hat and the lopsided armor and he then grabbed the demigod by the arm and flashed back to Ares' home Temple.
Once there, his ears were assaulted by a horrified squeak followed quickly by a loud clatter and crash. Turning unsteadily, he found Jett had passed out into a heap on the floor. Ares just looked over at them and burst out into gales of laughter. Zeus grinned back at him in open amusement.
Bending down, he slapped the man on the cheek until he woke up. When the demigod turned pale and seemed to be on the edge of fainting once more, Zeus handed him a cup of the spiked wine that he and Ares had been drinking.
"Here you go, my boy. Just drink a snort of this and it won't seem so bad. Yes?"
The demigod grabbed the goblet and his mismatched armor rattled. Then he gulped it all down in one long draught. He gasped once and then began coughing madly. Grinning at his reaction, Zeus patted him gently on the back and then helped him to stand up. He helped Jett to walk over to the WarGod who was currently wiping tears of laughter out of his eyes.
Smiling, Zeus refilled all of their cups with the spiked wine and they all spent the next few moments toasting everything and everyone. Well, to be honest, Jett just seemed to be trying to drink himself into insensibility so that he wouldn't have to deal with the fact that he was standing around with the King of the Gods and the normally volatile WarGod, but that was okay.
When Zeus drunkenly judged that both of them were suitably malleable, but not yet unconscious, he reached into his pocket and pulled out the small box he had gotten from Hera. He pulled a face as if just suddenly remembering something of minor importance.
"Oh yeah...I almost forgot I had this."
He flipped open the top and pulled out one of the rings and handed it to his son.
"Here Ares. Take this a moment, would you?"
Ares reached out and took it with a happy shrug of drunken unconcern. Then, Zeus peered over at it and pretended to frown in confusion.
"Oh wait...that one is his."
He hooked a thumb towards Jett.
"Be a good boy and slide it on his finger for me before I forget. Hmmm?"
Jett and Ares exchanged looks, smiled and shrugged. Then, the demigod held out his hand and the WarGod reached out to steady it. Frowning with the exaggerated concentration he needed to do this drunk, Ares finally slid the ring onto the man's finger.
Next, Zeus pretended to drop the other ring and watched in veiled amusement as it rolled to a stop at Jett's feet.
"Oh crap! I dropped Ares' ring!"
Jett smiled a goofy grin that didn't seem in character for him, but Zeus ignored it as a symptom of all of the wine.
"Don't worry. I'll get it for you."
Unsteady on his feet, the demigod bent over to pick up the ring. It was only because Ares had caught him that he didn't fall over onto his face. Zeus couldn't help it. He chuckled at the sight of the drunken assassin.
"Thank you boy. That was down right kind of you. Be a pet and put it on Ares finger before I lose it permanently."
With an unconcerned shrug, Jett slipped the ring onto the WarGod's finger and then looked down at it more closely. He frowned slightly.
"Hey! Your ring looks just like mine. How about that. We match."
Then Ares frowned slightly and glanced down at the rings. He looked at Jett's and then his own once more. Then he turned a confused look over at Zeus.
"Um...how come you gave me and Joxer identical rings?"
Zeus was just about to spring the news when something his son said caught his attention.
"Joxer? The youngest triplet? But...but, I thought you were Jett?"
The demigod shook his head no and Ares' frown deepened.
"No...um, I'm not Jett. I'm Joxer. Jett's in prison in Sparta. At least, he was the last time I saw him. If this is *his* ring, I'll give it back."
Zeus began to silently berate himself for drinking so much himself when Joxer began to try and remove his ring. And of course, he couldn't. It was made to *stay on*. Forever. Then *Ares* tried to remove *his* ring. And couldn't. The WarGod growled in anger and Joxer began to panic. His son glared at him and snarled.
"What did you *do*?"
Zeus found himself fidgeting slightly as he blushed with pained embarrassment at his mistake. He spoke in a rush, mashing his words together in order to be able to *leave* as soon as possible.
"Uh...well, thoseringsweremadebyyourmotheranddon'tcomeoff. Ever. Because... Youtwoaresortofmarriednowandthereisnothinganyonecandoaboutit."
He watched them both blink at him in astonishment.
"Bye."
And then he flashed out of the Halls of War to look for a place to hide.
end part 1