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There are needs for faith, trust, and a level of reliance in every relationship we form. I merely claimed more than was usually required; I even asked more of him than he was consciously willing to give. Unconsciously however he welcomed my presumptive actions, he gave way to me instinctively and realizing this I knew what was needed even though it would most defiantly cause him some suffering, it would eventually lead to his release from his past and the daemons that continue to haunt him today.
In truth I do love him; he knows this fact and on this basis I asked him first to give me control over his essential physical functions, to claim from him the power over his body and allow me in some ways to abuse that power for his benefit.
He’s a haunted youth, at times lost within his own depths of memory. It drags him there, makes reality around him fade, and he looses the focus in his eyes. I am at times required to bring him back to reality through force, pain being one and pleasure the other.
I loved and comforted him with passion as my guide to his heart and once there I claimed what was left, I pulled all the pieces of his heart to me, seizing the fragments as best I could and catching a glimpse of his possible beauty and was captured myself. I knew I had to reconstruct this treasure, but first I had to beat, tear, burn and cut away the rotted and contaminated parts, ruined and worthless, they habituated inside him, slowly eating away what was left. I chose to combat that filth, my choice I admit which parts I would allow to remain, but what choice had I other than the love I felt, the need to rescue him, recreate him to what I knew he could be.
A night together and a clear indication of his need; a night horror and an immediate pull away from my embrace, then fear followed by guilt and eventually heartbreaking acceptance. When he had calmed I told him of my decision the choice I would give him.
He could choose to forfeit his rights of control (over every part of his body and independence etc) over to me or he could finish what we had together. I promised him a word and nothing more, a word that would finish it all and he could walk away, but he chose to stay. Knowing of my love but holding that word dear; keeping it dear lest he need it.
I gave him no promises, only the truth. ‘I want to fix you.’ I told him ‘I want to remove all of the parts of you that are undesirable, to me foremost. I will force you to change, to discard your precious past and accept that all you live for now is what I make you. I will reject all the parts of you that displease me and gives you pain, the pain I see very time I look at you and know that it’s ruining you. I love you and I know only one way to stop this and that is forcefully and through your submission to me, take away the painful years and behaviours you have.’
He had cried at that, climbing down off the bed and kneeling at my feet. He did not deny the need or the justification I gave him, he merely touched his forehead to my feet so I could feel the wetness of his tears against my skin but heard no sobs, he’s leant better that to cry aloud years ago. I would have to re-educate him in open expressions of pain. I smiled inwardly but on the outside remained grim, the first lesson I would teach him would be tonight.
I leant over and took him by his hands, pulling him up. But before he could get his balance on his feet I propelled him towards to desk across the room. He hit it hard, his left thigh and part of his stomach colliding with the wood; it would leave bruises I knew. Turning to me, the hurt evident in his eyes but I had no sympathy for him. Instead I approached him and forcefully turned him around and down, his stomach against the hard wood, his wrists caught painfully behind him and I bound them quickly with a tie. I took a fistful of hair and whispered to him ‘I love you, but I need you to submit to me totally. Can you do that?’
He remained silent, concentrating of a place across the floor as he had learnt to do. His eyes wouldn’t break contact with that spot no matter what happened to him his breathing would be moderate and controlled as his body was abused his mind would stay barely registering. I knew this which is why I had to be careful. Any level of abuse I gave him would have to be given with a level of compassion and affection or it would add to his pain instead of claiming it away from him.
I kissed his lower back, working my way up the spine, knowing the sensation would wake him up again. I slowly reached around his front and grasped him slowly working to the edge of orgasm but holding back each time, succeeding to break his even breath and force his eyes to loose focus. I stopped at this and without loosing a breathe I leaned across the desk and grasped the crop I had left there and swung it loosely, allowing him barely a moment to contemplate the change from pleasure to pain, I made sure I didn’t give him enough time to lock himself away. I went to work on his thighs and ass, concentrating on one spot long enough to create a bruise and then moving on. I wanted him to have a visual reminder of it all.
He grasped the desk through it all, his hands clenching eventually at each stroke as it became almost too much for him. I was careful however to push it just enough, he could only go so far before it became too much and I had to quit. At these points I again reached around him and masturbated him slowly while kissing his neck and whispering loving praise and encouragement in his ear. He was doing so well I told him, and how I loved him, how wonderful he was enduring it all. Through it all, I gave him no end to view; I never described a time frame to this treatment of him. By the time I was thoroughly pleased with my work he was visibly shaking, still standing only because of his reliance on the desk I had leant him over.
I never gave him release, instead I left him for a moment, telling him to remain prone as he was, I ushered into the room the mage and his assistants. He turned slightly not daring to do so completely, but I soon returned back behind him, keeping his curiosity from getting the better of him.
I undid his arms and fastened then again to the brackets I had attached earlier. Assuring him and encouraging him the whole time. Indicating to the assistants to approach they did so and grasped his legs, and forced them apart. He finally spoke nervously “Julian?!” but I reached in front silenced him with a hand. “This will help train you, it’s a device beloved, magical as well that I want you to endure” he shivered and his eyes pleaded with me to give him a moment, but I knew better. I moved on before he had a chance to think it through, relying on his gut instinct I ask him.
“Will you endure this for me? Will you endure all I require, even if I have to force you, do you consent?” I released his mouth at that and waited already knowing the reply.
“Yes, I consent to all.” He whispers hoarsely, knowing full well all that I was capable of. I nod and turn to the mage.
“Do you have it?”
“Yes High Lord, sent from Arlan you merely need to activate the magic and place it on him”
“Then bring it here” I order. A box is brought forward and opened. He extracts the strange belt and other pieces of equipment before laying them on the table beside him. I show him the balls, crystals about an inch and a half in diameter, two of them and they glowed slowly blue. At this point they were blue because they weren’t activated, they could also glow purple, red, green and white, each colour representing a sensation I could choose to generate, purple for pleasure without orgasm (ongoing without release), red for pain, green for nausea and white for pleasure with orgasm.
I showed him these, explaining their uses. He grew pale as I talked, finally asking “I am to wear these?”
“Yes, at all times that I do not remove them myself, they have the second function of cleaning your passage.” I look at his grief filled eyes “But I will not ask for your agreement in this, I know it will be too hard for you to voluntarily to endure this. That is why I have had this belt made. It cannot removed by you and will hold both your penis and the globes inaccessible to you.”
At this explanation I pushed him back down to the desk and pushed in the first of the globes. He shuddered against me, biting back a moan, they were of a size larger than I had ever required him to take. In fact I rarely make him take anything even me inside him, he always reacts with a mixture of distressed physical pleasure and overriding emotional pain.
I had long since healed his anus and brought the muscles back to normal sensitivity, I was working slowly up his body, correcting the physical damage done. I started on his face though, he was so badly scarred that his face was a mess and he was blind in one eye. But I knew his true beauty which was spectacular would with my help dazzle everyone who beheld him. I worked carefully knowing the pain that was caused with the change of appearance, so slowly I corrected his features and allowed his true self to show through.
For weeks I allowed him to go masked, a simple veil and a hooded cloak to hide his disfigurement just as he had done previously but once I was sure he was used to his new form I removed the veil. I let him keep the cloak as his other injuries were still obvious.
Then I moved to his hands, fixing the damage done by dozens of breakages, I gave him back full movement. Putting the fractures back together properly and re-breaking the bones caused him heavy pain but he withstood it. Now that I had proven my ability to aid him he was beginning to trust me.
*********
He’s lying so still, curled around the blanket I had given him on the first day. He knew better than to move off the bed, instead he curled into the corner, as far away from me as possible. He misunderstood me, I knew this but there was only one way to make him understand that I actually mean it when I say I wish him no harm.
I climb on the bed and role him on his back forcefully pulling at the cuffs attached to the four corners of the bed and fastening them to his wrist and ankles. He doesn’t resist at all except clenching his fists for a second. I straddle him and close my eyes concentrating on his physical form underneath me, understanding his breathe and listening to his heart. It’s beating fast and hard, he thinks he knows what’s coming.
Instead of reassuring him I push the fingers of my left hand in his mouth, finger fucking his mouth, I need the distraction. I put my other over his eyes and groan, the damage to his eyes was severe and I dared not use any of his strength to heal him, he already had too little. I healed it in a push and a groan but did not reveal this to him; I blindfolded him and removed all his sight. Pushed by my magic to a level of arousal that was physically evident was physically evident I knew I could now start working. .
Then I look him inside me, easing myself on top of him and holding my weight on one of the bars suspended above the bed. I rarely do this, but it warranted my sacrifice, he deserved it. I brought him to climax inside me but the moment before I let him come I pulled off the blindfold and let him see me with both healthy eyes. I loved his moans of climax; I’ve always been attracted to a vocal lover.
Patiently I waited till he had gained his composure again before I eased myself off him and caught his eyes, holding his gaze as understanding grew about his improved condition. He looked at me strangely and whispered, ‘You’ve healed me?’
I nod, smiling down at him.
‘Why?’
‘Because I adore you and because I own you, I want my possessions to be whole’ He leans up and but his bindings stop him from going to far and in desperation he falls back against my bed. He shuts his eyes and begins to cry heavily in sobs, I reject the urge to read his mind. He deserves some privacy from me. Before I get up and depart the room I reach to the headboard and retrieve the gag he’ll soon be very familiar with though he rejects it, giving every attempt to repel it short of begging I manage to fasten it on very easily. I take note of his frantic and desperate reaction to being gagged; I’ll use that to my advantage.
It’s a simple gag, with two inch flat piece for him to bite on and a fastening that goes around and over his head and clips behind it, effective in making him unable to speak but not in making sounds which I adore. I get up leaving him bound and naked on my bed, no one will release him till I tell them to do so myself. I’ll send his servant to bathe and tend to him soon.
***
‘The master of this house sent me to bathe you’ I tell him as I lean over the bed frame. He’s haggard looking, tears now dried have left markings on his cheeks and his eyes are red with the sorrow and confusion. He’s my age, or possibly a little younger but I ignore this fact, it’s best not to empathize with others it leads to trouble every time.
I start at his feet undoing the restraints ands rubbing is ankles in an attempt to relieve the straining muscles. Even though they are made from the softest leather their mere presence and capacity leads to stiffness of muscle and rawness of flesh. Then I move to his wrists and do the same. He reaches up to his neck, aching to remove the collar and gag but I shake my head.
‘You have to leave that on’
He shudders but nods in understanding. I help him rise and lead him into the masters’ wash room. A bath has been run but I instruct him first to stand beside it while I scrub him down and remove all the sweat and grime. He stands there so passively and acceptingly that I understand why the master uses him as he does even if he is horribly scared and misused.
As I wash him down I see how truly disfigured he is, his back an artwork of ridges and lines, the obvious kisses of a very dangerous lash. I shudder involuntarily; the pain that would have been given by that lash gives my own meager punishments a childlike air. I do not understand why the master took this one to his bed when so many more lovely examples are under his control.
I give in to my curiosity and walk over to the door and lock it. Returning to him I ask him ‘You will tell no one that I have allowed you to speak?’ He nods and I remove the gag. He coughs once and licks his lips, still unwilling to speak lest I abuse him more I presume.
‘Where were you before you came here?’
‘Arnith, I grew up in Arnith’
I nod, ‘Where did you get all these scars?’
‘I was eight when the first let were given I think, I was used by the priest there who knew that I lived nearby and wished to take my virginity as way to gain the blessing of the god Haralan’
‘You were gifted to Haralan at eight! Sweet Manah’s grace! That’s horrific!’ The god Haralan’s followers believed that through a height of suffering and ecstasy divine guidance is given. The only problem with that is that their gifts of suffering take the form of people they deem to be innocent and pure and therefore makes the act that much more horrific. They themselves combine ecstasy with suffering by eating certain drugs that cause rapture but also lead them into even greater act of cruelty including rape, torture and degradation. Their chosen sacrifices are methodically ruined both physically and mentally until they are given up by the order or killed. How my Master came to own a Singah and why he would wish to is beyond me.
‘Climb in the bath, it’ll help you relax’ I help him climb in, he sighs and lays against the cloth. He looks up at me and a strange look comes across his face.
‘Is he a kind master?’
‘Not kind, but he is a good master. He does not misuse us or abuse us. He’s a master who many wish to serve above all others. He is fair and trustworthy but kind? No, he is not kind.’
‘What does he want with me?’
‘I cannot say completely, but he has had many bed slaves but he treats you differently. He asked all the others, gave them a choice of the position within this house. You have been treated very differently, he has given me the position of caring for you permanently. I am a servant who is to care for another, this is unheard of.’
‘Am I servant? Is that my position here?’
‘I don’t know but you don’t have any tasks to perform. He has collared and gagged you. He has chosen you for something else’
‘I fear what’
‘Do not fear he will abuse you, he will not’ I help him out of the bath and he hand him a towel to dry himself off with. I am about to lead him into the other room when he turns to me and says.
‘He has given me my eye sight back and he didn’t take me. I don’t understand I was sure he would take me then, but he didn’t he mounted me. I don’t understand why…’
‘Me neither, but you must be important for him to do that. I’m sorry but I have to put the gag back, he’ll be back soon and I need you back on the bed.’
‘I don’t want to wear it, I’ll go back to the bed but I won’t wear the gag.’
‘You have to! He’ll find out I removed it!’
‘No he won’t I’ll say I did, that I overpowered you’
‘You! Overpower me? Who are you joking? Now come on don’t make trouble…you have to bear it.’
‘I won’t!’
Just then the Master walk in smiling at me.
‘I see you’ll need a better instruction next time Jonah. Disobey another order and I’ll have you not only thrashed but sent to work in the labour camps instead of this easy job.’ I fall to my knees, fear rushing through my body, he had every right to punish me however he wished.
‘Please Master, I’m sorry I disobeyed you. I won’t do it again’
‘Just so you remember after I dismiss you report to Joseph for ten lashes’
‘Yes Master’
***
‘Now lets face the issue at hand shall we? My dear, you do not wish to wear my gag?’
‘No Master, I hate gags. I’m sorry; I’ll wear it for you, I didn’t mean to disobey you’
‘I’m pleased you see your place. Now kneel and open your mouth.’ He kneels but before I can push the gag in he clamps his mouth shut and hangs his head.
‘I’m sorry I sir, you will have to force me. I cannot accept this voluntarily’
I place my hand on the back of his neck and come down to his level, kneeling in front of him.
‘I know you can’t. I knew from the beginning but I wanted to teach you a lesson in understanding what you voluntarily do and that which I must force. I will not punish you for something I knew you could not do. Leave us Jonah, I will tend to him.’
He nods and leaves ‘Yes master’
I continue to kneel across from him looking into his eyes as they fight to hold my gaze. It’s hard for him to do so, I know, his every lesson in understanding human behaviour is corrupted but he’s making a huge effort to stay composed in all of this.
‘I need you to allow me to take care of you. I want to help you, I brought back your sight and I want to fix more but I’ll need your help in this. I also need you to obey me. You belong to me, you are my possession and in that you can choose to revolt or you can accept it and take what I give you. Under my control you can find freedom, I can help you. Will you revolt or will you accept it?’
‘Master, as a servant and now an owned slave I have no choice but to accept all that you require of me.’ He says to the floor, unwilling to look into my eyes any longer.
‘You will not have many more chances like this one. I am speaking to you plainly now. I want to use my magical skill to heal your body and when I have done that I want to continue that to your mind and personality, I plan to shape you as I believe you should be. I could see your potential when I decided that I wanted you but I need your willingness to consent to this. I don’t need your compliance to change you physically and I will after this point act without your consent but I still want you to understand and accept my plan for you and in that way make it that much easier for you. It won’t be easy and I will require more from you than you are willing to give I’m sure but I still want to know that you consent.’
‘Master, for what it’s worth as a slave but not a man I consent to your plan. It’s true that I have little other options but I know that the idea you present me is far better than any future I can imagine.’
‘Yes, it will be I promise. You will be content as my slave’
I stand and take the lock I had been carrying from my pocket and fasten it to the collar around his neck.
‘On the side of this collar is my name and title it pledges you as a claimed slave of my bed. No one will touch you without my consent. You are my slave, but I will not have you as my servant. You have a power over all the other slaves and servants except Jonah, his instruction come directly from me understand?’
He nods so I continue ‘In my house you can ask for whatever you may need but you may not leave this house without my express consent. You may address me as you wish but my name is Liam should you wish to use it. We will make love every night so you need not worry about having a room of your own and anything you will own may be kept here. I will be training you in a very specific way later but until I deem you physically fit to be trained you will be considered merely as my lover and nothing else. Do you have any questions?’
‘Just one…Liam.’ He tests the name in his mouth and finds it comfortable ‘Why me? So many are more beautiful, so many are more experienced to pleasure you’
‘Ah, you will understand why eventually. But in short I require something from a lover that few can offer. I saw your ability in the way that I want my lover to be. I am sadistic, I am controlling and I require something that few can give. You however have the spark I’m looking for; you just don’t understand that yet. Now…’ I take him by the wrist and lead him back to my bedroom there is a meal set out for him which I leave him to eat before I take him back to my bed and show him the uses of my and then his delicious mouth.
***
Once a week I took him to my work room and tied him to the bench there. I put a pillow behind his head and pressed my hands on the place we would be working on that day. I would work for an hour, using his own energy to fuel the recovery. He sweated and gasped as I corrected the badly healed tissue. It was beyond painful for him but he didn’t call out or beg me to stop, he knew I was working to help him and in that he took strength. It was the one time he pushed something inside his mouth, a bit for him to bite to stop him doing himself damage. But even then I needed to tie it in place or he would force it out is his mouth in disgust.
After the session I would carry him to our room and place him on the sheets, giving him soup or broth and watch as his eyes lost their understanding. He’d look at me in wonder and forget that he knew who I was. In these moments he was so exhausted and in a state of confusion that I was forced to use the cuffs on him so he didn’t wonder or become violent. I didn’t want to use them, I didn’t want him to create an association between their use and the state he was in but he required it.
I cared for him then or had Jonah do it. He took the full week to recover and then I would give him another session and he would lapse back. It was slow work as the levels of scaring across his body were immense but within months I had fixed his face, his hands and his feet. Before, he could not go out without people staring at his disfigurement. He wore a veil to cover his face but even then he got looks of awe, now he was stunning just as I sensed and he was mine.
It took another full year to correct the other scaring and fix the badly healed bones. That was the worst, his feet had both been broken many times and their healing never completed. I first had to let them heal and then correct what I could. It meant stopping him from walking for over a month while I kept his in splints to aid recovery. It also meant correcting some of the positions of his bones, a very painful and necessary task. Where ever I could I allowed his natural reaction to heal take it course.
***
He’s sitting out in the sun, his bandaged feet pulled out in front of him on a stool. He looks pained about something so I approach him, pulling up a chair beside him.
“Hello Jonah, Did Liam send you?’
‘No, I came to tend to you’
‘Oh,’ he nods and looses interest in my presence. I begin to unbandage his feet, He hisses as I lift his foot to unwrap the bandage around his ankle. I wonder why Master has done this to his feet, it seems pointless.
‘Is it very painful?’ I ask, but he is too distracted to notice, gazing across the field to the horse trainers. Some stable hands are focussing on an unbroken horse being led, resisting all the while into the stable. He’s a spirited one who the master refuses to sell or even geld but most believe untrainable, I assume he’ll be used for breeding.
Finishing up the bandaging I return to the house to fetch some lunch for us.
‘You need to eat now’ I tell him, stepping in front of his line of sight and touching his wrist. He starts back at the contact, looking frightened and shocked into my eyes.
‘Hey, it’s just me. I’ve brought lunch’ I smile reassuringly at him, hoping he doesn’t go into panic attack as he had done on previous occasions. But he recovers his composure and looks at me apologetically.
‘Yes, of course. Sorry I was somewhere else completely’
Ha, I think to myself, you were more than that! But I say nothing allowing his lie to become a hazy fiction hanging between us. Pacing the tray on his lap I start my own lunch.
‘What do you think his plans for me are?’
‘I can’t say because I don’t know. But I do know this; Master Liam has a taste which removes most lovers from his bed within a few nights. I do know that the morning after I am usually sent in to clean up blood and sweat soaked sheets. I’m sure however that the master never forced anyone to do anything, I’m sure in fact as more than once I have been pulled out of bed to prepare a room for a lover of his or to lead a slave to our side of the house when they rejected his offer for the bed-slave position.’
‘I was given no offer for this position’
‘Ah yes but you aren’t a general and genealogical slave. You have none of the right or privileges allowed to us. You are not a slave but a possession much like the horse you were watching, he may do as he pleases with you.’
‘I am nothing then but a pet, a toy he is repairing so he may play with me more thoroughly’
‘I’m sorry, as much as I’d like to tell you differently I can see no indication’
***
I pull him close to me, against me. He stiffens at first but then relents to my embrace. He’s sitting between my legs on my sofa in the private library, I have stripped him naked and am currently about to start kissing his neck just above his collar lazily when he speaks.
‘Why are you treating me like this?’
‘Why? Because I desire to do so.’
‘Why have you been so careful with me? What do you wish from me? Why have I been repaired?’
‘Ah! Finally it comes. I knew it would soon enough. You grow restless’
‘I’m confused’
‘As you should be…but this is the only answer I’ll give you. I did all this because I desired to do so; it pleases me to have you now fully perfect. You are captivating. Did you know this? Everyone looks as you pass in wonder. They want to know where you came from and who owns you.
I own you. I wish to complete this though. I will make you mine, physically as well as mentally. I need to know do you trust me?’
‘I trust you as I would trust this fire, your warmth heals me and allows me light in my dark soul but should I stay in your presence to long I fear I will be burnt’
‘You’ll burn and you’ll hurt but I promise that the ashes of your skin will give way, you’ll shed your skin and be reborn under my glory.’
‘A glory… I desire’
‘Then you submit to my training? I will ask again later when the decision will become harder, but at this stage to you submit with trust and as a conscious decision.’
‘I submit,’
I embrace him,
***
He took the first training session hard. Resisting me so much I had to get the help of Jonah to keep him still. I could tell that Jonah disapproved, I would need to search for a new servant to do this task as Jonahs tastes ran in healing and not in infliction. I had Jonah take his wrists as I leant him across the desk. I counted fourteen lashes before he cried out and another 20 or so before he begged me to stop. After that I became frantic, almost hysterical but I kept up the pace. It was important to know his breaking point, I didn’t reach it though. I would need to invest in an equipped playroom I would see. He would never be easy to handle.
I finished at 50 lashes and asked him how he felt. He was trembling and red faced. I smiled he was sexy like that. He turned to me and pulled me into an embrace, he lost his legs at that point and I was required to support him with my arms. I carried him to the bed and dismissed Jonah.
I took him then, for the first time. He didn’t resist as I knew he would in other circumstances. I wasn’t rough though, he didn’t need that quite yet.
***