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Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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Published:
2020-11-05
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1,475
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1/1
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10
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1,634

Memories

Summary:

Permission to archive: To the lists who get it, anyone who already has permission, anyone else just write and ask me first, I'll almost certainly say yes
Fandom(s): Diagnosis Murder
Genre: Slash all the way baby <g>
Pairing/Characters: Steve/Jesse
Summary: Sappy sweet and short holiday ficlet, nothing major. Established relationship
Warnings: None really, just highly sappy and sad at the same time.
Acknowledgments: To our kind list mummy for creating a spam free haven.

Work Text:

 

 

Memories
by D. Gray
DennSedai@verizon.net

 

Waking Steve glanced over at the alarm clock. Sighing, he switched it off before it could go off in a few minutes. This was one of those times when he definitely didn't want to wake Jesse up. Even though he loved the younger man like he didn't think possible, this was one of those things that was just very personal to him. He wasn't sure if he was ready to share it just yet.

Last year he hadn't been with Jesse yet when Memorial Day had rolled around, so it hadn't made a difference, as they had finally admitted their feelings just shortly after that day had passed by, and it was nearing their one year anniversary.

Quietly getting up Steve quickly got dressed before heading out to the kitchen. The day before he had picked up the same three roses that he had for more years than he cared to recall. Every year on Memorial Day, rain or shine he always had done the same thing, ever since coming back from Over There. So damn many innocent lives lost, and those who had survived, still had to bear the scars. He still didn't know who had it better on some of the bad days, those who had died, or those who had lived and come back to face the rest of their lives.

Picking up the three roses, one white, one yellow, and one red, he gathered up the small length of purple ribbon he'd set aside the night before. Slowly he wrapped the ribbon about the stems of the roses. Deliberately letting the thorns prick his fingers, so that both tears and a few small drops of blood fell on the ribbon.

With the ribbon finally secured about the roses, he slipped out of the house and padded softly down to the shore. Watching as the sun slowly rose and set the waters a glimmer, he remembered in his heart and mind all those who had passed on. The tragedy of those young lives cut short so untimely. Especially of those whose bodies had never been recovered.

As tears slowly traced their way down his cheeks, he raised the roses up to his lips and kissed them once gently, before casting them out on the ocean. Watching as the waves slowly drew them away, lost in the memories of what had happened in the past.

~oOo~

Rolling over in bed, Jesse felt the sudden absence of his lover. Slowly opening his eyes, he glanced at the clock. It was still fairly early, and he hadn't heard the phone ring, so it wasn't likely that Steve had been called in on a case at work. That happened often enough for both of them be it an emergency call at Community General for Jesse, or down at the precinct for Steve, they rarely had all that much uninterrupted time. Such was the life at times. Still it wasn't even dawn yet, not far from it but still. Slowly Jesse stretched and got up, slowly easing stiff limbs into motion. It had been an especially long day yesterday and he was glad to have today off. Especially with the madness that the holidays usually brought about. Slowly he got dressed before heading out to the kitchen. No matter what he was going to need coffee if he was going to make any sense of anything this morning.

Slowly setting the pot of coffee to brewing, he glanced out the window. Staring down at the beach he watched, as Steve slowly stood there and then raised some roses up, before tossing them out into the ocean. Shaking his head, he watched as Steve just stayed there staring out at the ocean. It was fairly obvious that this was something very personal for him, and Jesse couldn't help but wonder what was going on. In the almost year that they'd been together they had slowly learned a lot about each other, but this was something new to him.

Watching as Steve finally looked up from staring at the ocean, Jesse shifted away from the window. He didn't want to be caught watching the older man, whatever it was that he had been doing was something important to him, so he'd let him fill in the blanks at his own pace. He'd learned the hard way in the past not to push and that Steve would fill him in at his own pace. They both were individuals who valued their privacy a great deal.

Grabbing out two mugs, he slowly poured both full of hot, fresh brewed coffee, and fixed them up the way they both liked them, before heading out to wait for Steve on the deck.

"Hey, I didn't expect you to be up this early," Steve called, as he slowly walked up the steps leading from the beach to their deck.

"You know how it goes, you get used to waking up early, no matter what," Jesse replied. "I've got some coffee for both of us, since I figured, it's not going to be all that easy to go back to sleep."

"Thanks Jess," Steve said, carefully watching his lovers expression and body language. Taking the cup of coffee he watched as the sun slowly rose further into the sky.

Slowly sipping at his own coffee Jesse watched the sun rise as well. He was bursting with curiosity, yet he knew that if he broached the subject of what Steve had been doing, he risked putting a strain on things.

Taking a last sip of his coffee, Steve slowly set it down on the railing, while still keeping it cradled in his hands. "So I expect you have a question that you want to ask me."

"Who me?" Jesse asked innocently, "Why would I?"

"Because, you have that expression on your face, like you're dying to say something, but afraid to speak up at the same time, is why. Go ahead, it's not like I'm going to bite you."

"Ok, I didn't think I was that obvious though," Jesse said. "Do you mind me asking what you were doing down on the beach? I mean, it looked kind of private and I didn't want to intrude."

Staring down at the cup of coffee Steve let out a slow breath and nodded at last. "It was. It's something that I do every year, and I just wasn't sure how to bring it up with you. After all, it's complicated."

Nodding Jesse waited for Steve to go on. He knew that Steve had served over in Vietnam, and that he still bore some scars from it, and not just physical ones.

Sighing Steve looked back out over the ocean before going on. "Every year, I try and remember all of those who fell in the various wars, but especially in Vietnam. So damn many young lives ruined senselessly and so much innocence lost. Plenty of those who died, we weren't even able to bring back to be buried by their families. We were lucky to be able to, in some cases, rescue their tags and bring those back."

Slowly Jesse nodded, it did make some sense, but he could tell there was something more to it than just that. Hesitantly Jesse took another sip of coffee waiting for Steve to go on. When he didn't, Jesse slowly asked, "There's something more though, isn't there?"

Picking up his mug of coffee Steve took a few swallows before setting it down again, and stared off once more as if looking out at the ocean, but it was clear he was lost in thought and memory.

"Yeah, there is. I lost a really good friend over there. It was on a mission we went in on. We lost almost our whole team on that one. It was just me and one other guy who made it out and later on he ended up dying on another mission, or so I heard."

"He was more than a friend wasn't he," Jesse asked, sensing that Steve had to face this if they were going to be able to move beyond this. Who ever the guy had been, he'd obviously meant a lot to his lover.

Sighing Steve continued to stare out into the distance, lost in his memories.

"Steve..."

"Yeah, yeah he was Jesse. He was in charge of our squad, we had gone through basic together and well, you know how it can go Jess. When you are that close to someone sometimes it just leads to something more," Steve said slowly. "It was the first time, I'd ever done anything like that with anyone. He was a little more experienced than me and made sure that he took it at a pace that I was comfortable with.

 

end