SquidgeWorld Archive

Still Swinging
by Joyful

Ryan was enjoying the outcome of the impromptu baseball game. People were talking to him, and they were actually calling him Ryan, as opposed to Sharpay's brother, Mr. Evans, or Fag. He liked it. After he lost to Chad and the Wildcats, he was quite prepared to get in his silver convertible, drive to hislikely empty mansion, eat cookie dough and watch the Princess Bride. He hadn't expected Chad Danforth to take off his sweaty baseball shirt.

"Welcome to the team," Chad said, tossing his shirts to Ryan.

Ryan caught the shirts, distracted momentarily as the sun glinted off Chad's glistening, bronze chest. Ryan blinked, shaken. In one smooth movement, he pulled off his own white shirt and striped hat, and threw them to Chad.

"Oh God, my eyes!" Zeke yelled, "I've gone blind!" but Chad quickly slugged him, his eyes also taking in Ryan's eerie paleness. For somebody who spent his entire summer at a country club, Ryan looked as if he'd never stepped in the sun before.

"I wear a lot of sunscreen," Ryan said, putting on Chad's hat to match the shirt, and like every hat Ryan wore, it was slightly askew.

"And to complete the ensemble," Chad said, he placed the striped hat squarely on his head. Ryan quickly closed the distance between them and cocked hat ever so slightly to the side. Chad chuckled slightly. "Alright, Hatboy, let's get some chow," he said, grabbing Ryan's arm and dragging him toward the food.

Then Chad asked about baseball, and Ryan let it slip. Ryan didn't like to brag about baseball. It wasn't that Ryan didn't love being the center of attention-he totally did-but if he bragged about being a world champion baseball player, people would want to know why he quit. And if Chad asked, Ryan would probably tell him. Because although he started out annoying, Chad was quickly becoming cute and charming, like a puppy. The word ‘champions' just slipped out Ryan's mouth before he could stop it. Chad gave him this look of stunned disbelief, before smacking him playfully.

"My house," Gabriella declared. "Do you need a ride Ryan?"

Ryan shook his head. They were all walking towards the parking lot. "I can drive, if you give me directions, and there's room in my car for 3 more," Ryan said. He pointed across the employee parking lot to the Members Only lot where, underneath a canopy, his beautiful silver Mustang was resting.

"Shotgun!" Chad called, only an instant before Zeke and Kelsi.

"Okay you three it is, then," Ryan grinned. He felt better with Kelsi in the car. He knew her, he trusted her, and if the other two were planning to beat him up, she'd at least call 911 afterwards.

"I like it when everyone's getting along," Kelsi said, hugging Ryan gently.

"We used to all be friends," Zeke pointed out. "Back in elementary school."

"That's right," Chad remembered, a smile on his face, "We used to play freeze tag and stuff in the playground after school." They climbed into the car and Ryan turned on the ignition, the CD player started up, "Wicked" blaring from the speakers. Ryan turned it down a little bit, glancing over to Chad, who was looking at him. He fiddled with the sparkly, plush silver star dangling from his keychain.

"Ryan," Zeke said suddenly from behind him, "Why does Sharpay refuse to give me the time of day?" Ryan chuckled a little, a sad smile on his face.

"You really don't remember, do you?" Ryan said, and saw Zeke shake his head in the rearview mirror.

"In third grade, we were playing tag or something, and you pushed me down. I fell, and got a big bloody scrape on my arm. Shar looked up at you--it was the first time I had ever seen hate in her eyes--and called you a bully. Swore she would never speak to you again." Zeke looked completely shocked and horrified as the memory popped into his head.

"So, your sister is still holding a grudge over something that happened, like, eight years ago?" Chad asked.

Ryan's cockeyed baseball cap bobbed as he nodded, left hand on the wheel, right hand shifting into third gear as they left the driveway and hot the main road. Mr. Evans had insisted his children learn how to drive standard transmissions. No other cars mattered to him.

"We're twins," Ryan said simply, as if that answered everything. Ryan occasionally glanced over at Chad, who was continuing to stare at Ryan, transfixed. "Look, my sister is a bitch," Ryan said, and Kelsi and Chad laughed and agreed.

"Not alw-"

"Zeke, shut up." Ryan said. "Shar is a bitch. She's abrasive and controlling and self-centered. She's extremely shallow. She can even be cruel occasionally. But if anyone ever actually hurt her, I would eviscerate them." Ryan said, staring straight ahead at the road.

"And she would do the same for me. Listen, Shar isn't always so bad. When it's late at night and she's curled up on the couch in her pajamas with a bowl of popcorn and a back of marshmallows, messy hair and now make-up, watching Brat Pack marathons, and throwing marshmallows at Anthony Michael Hall-that's the real Shar. You have all seen Sharpay Evans the Ice Queen, none of you have seen my sister, Shar." Ryan took his eyes off the screen and stared at Chad for a moment, and Chad actually gulped. Chad was the one who called Sharpay the Ice Queen.

"Dude, look, I'm sorry I called your sister that."

"It's okay. She honestly doesn't care what the jocks think of her."

"Do you?" Chad asked.

"I know what jocks think of me." Ryan spoke with a clear yet bitter tone to his voice.

"Oh, turn it up!" Kelsi squealed, as ‘Popular' came on, Ryan happily obliged. The two of them sang along with the song, as Zeke and Chad looked on amused and listened. They were actually bouncing!

"Ry, we HAVE to get Ms. Darbus to let us do "Wicked" for the fall musical. Sharpay is born to play Galinda." Kelsi said when the song was over.

"Yeah, but it takes two female leads, so we'd have to get Gabi to play Elphi. Which means the two of them would have to get along and play best friends. . ." Ryan trailed off, before getting an evil glint in his eye that Chad instantly recognized, having seen it before in Sharpay.

"That's it. We'll do it. If we can get Gabi to play Elphaba and Shar to play Galinda, they'll have to run lines together, and practice songs together, and spend two whole months together, without Shar feeling like she got beat by Gabi. It's perfect."

"Ry, you're a genius." Kelsi declared. "And you two are sworn to secrecy," she said, pointing to Zeke and Chad, who just nodded.

"Turn here," Chad said, "And then go straight through the next two lights."

"Ryan's car doesn't go straight, it goes gaily forward," Kelsi giggled, quoting their very old joke.

"Kelsi!" Ryan shot her a dirty look in the mirror. Ryan's sexuality was by no means a secret, but he always avoided bringing up the subject in front of the jocks. In fact, he usually avoided the jocks in general.

"It's all good," Zeke said. "My older brother is gay. Nobody's gonna beat you up or anything." Ryan visibly relaxed, but continued to shoot the occasional glance over at Chad, who was still looking at him. "So, Mr. Baseball, you play a lot of sports?"

"Just dancing, you know: ballet, jazz, tap, swing, modern, and ballroom, oh and gymnastics, and ice skating. I played a little hockey when I was, like, 8, but my mom declared I was too fragile. And yoga, of course. I also do some Tai Chi. I used to play some soccer, but I really didn't like it much, and I tried running track, but it took up too much time, same with swimming. We did some equestrian competitions, but they're time-consuming as well, so now, we keep it down to dance, singing, acting, skating and gymnastics, that's it. Yoga and tai chi are my warm-ups and relaxations." Ryan smirked when he glanced at Chad and Zeke's flabbergasted looks.

"Ryan is the strongest guy I know," Kelsi said. "And nobody would ever believe it. Ryan, that's Gabi's house there, and you can give them a demonstration." Ryan sighed as he parked his Mustang and got out, and for the next hour was forced to give demonstrations of one-handed and two-handed dance and figure-skating lifts. Although he wasn't quite able to lift Martha over his head, the fact that he lifted her at all seemed to give her a little self-esteem boost. Once he'd lifted every girl there twice, he excused himself to get a drink and sit down on the sofa. Moments later, Chad slid in next to him. "So, why Rhode Island?"

"We have a summer house there, and my dad owns a golf course there. Also, it's near one of my dad's offices," Ryan explained. "We don't spend every summer at Lava Springs, just most of them."

"So, why'd you quit baseball?" Chad asked.

"And there's the question," Ryan sighed. He had known it was coming. "I was about fourteen. And some guys thought it would be fun to try a new game. Smear the Queer." Chad inhaled sharply, anger flaming across his eyes. "Six of them ambushed me in the locker room, and kicked the shit out of me. Gave me a concussion, broke three of my ribs and my left arm. Sprained my knee, bruises all over. No permanent damage, luckily, and the plastic surgeon patched everything up."

"And that's why you didn't talk to any of the ‘jocks' for two years," Chad responded, horrified.

"Yeah," Ryan said. "Maybe it's just as prejudiced, but I figured it's better to be safe than sorry."

"No, I get it. Do you still like baseball?"

"Yeah. Shar and I have always done everything together, well, except gymnastics, but we both did that, so, it still counts. Then, when we were, like, six or seven, Mother decided it was time for us to do something apart, so Shar started synchronized swimming, and I started baseball."

"Sharpay did synchronized swimming? But she, like, completely freaked out when she fell in the pool that day," Chad said."

"That's because she had shoes on, and Troy was watching. But she quit swimming when she realized the chlorine was damaging her hair," Ryan said rolling his eyes.

"If you want to try out for baseball next year, I can promise you, nobody will beat you up," Chad said. "They'd have to answer to me if they did." Ryan felt his face get hot and he knew he was blushing. Of course, he'd noticed Chad had a nice body, he was an athlete, but he'd always written the taller boy off as a stupid, brain-dead jock.

"I'll think about it. It depends on if it conflicts with Drama Club. Or dance."

"What about gymnastics or skating, or the yoga or tai-whats-it?" Chad asked.

"Tai Chi. And I do that stuff in my free time. Shar and I dropped out of the competitive circuits for the other stuff. She prefers singing and I prefer dance."

"What's your favorite dance?" Chad asked, somewhat interested. He might not dance, but he knew there were different kinds.


Ryan blushed. "Jazz. Also ballet and modern. Ballet because it's all about rules and balance, and modern because it's all about losing your center of gravity."

Chad looked confused.

Ryan stood up. "Come outside."

Chad followed Ryan into the backyard where most of the other Wildcats were gathered.

"It's time for the first dance lesson," Ryan declared. He took a moment to take in the beat of the music playing on the stereo, kicked off his shoes, and did a short ballet routine. "That's ballet."

"I had no idea you could do ballet to Maroon 5," Taylor whispered to Martha, who laughed in response. The Wildcats looked on as Ryan started moving again. Although he moved with the same grace, the movements looked completely different. His attitude had changed as well.

"That's modern dance," Ryan said. "Now, I'll be right back, let me grab my CD's from the car." Ryan ran out to the car while the rest of the Wildcats remained the backyard.

Gabi and Kelsi stood side by side, looking full of themselves, while their classmates looked on with awe. "You said he could dance, you never said he was freaking amazing," a boy said.

Ryan stopped before he went back into the backyard, listening to them talk about him.

"Ryan is complicated," Kelsi said. "He's one of the most talented people I've ever met. And one of the sweetest. But Ryan doesn't have friends. It's not that he doesn't want them; it's that he just doesn't have them. I think he won't let himself."

Ryan waited a beat, and then re-entered the backyard, pretending not to have heard what they were talking about. Kelsi was right, but that wasn't why he was there, he was there to teach the Wildcats how to dance.

"Okay," Ryan said, putting a CD on the stereo, "This is jazz." Because it was his favorite, he actually did a rather complicated jazz routine, stopping to pull Martha into it, who caught on pretty quickly. He then went on to show them simple swing, and a variety of ballroom dances. Before long, the sun was setting.

"Brownie?" Gabi offered him the plate, Ryan took one gladly.

"These are the best brownies I've ever tasted," Ryan declared.

"My mom made them. So, you're gonna choreograph our show?"

"Sure. Despite what Shar thinks, competition is healthy. She thinks it's all about her winning, and that the only way to win is to be the only talented one around. But having more competition pushes you to work harder, and it's more fun. When you're the only one involved. You're the only one."

Ryan gave Gabi a hug and a kiss on the cheek before walking out to his car. He pulled his "Wicked" CD out of the CD player and popping the "Spring Awakening" soundtrack. "Teen Angst: The Musical" seemed rather fitting right now.

Fucking Chad Danforth. Why did he have to be so damn gorgeous? And why did Ryan have to be the nice twin? If he was Sharpay, he would just be "Be gone!" and be ignoring them all, but he couldn't do that. They had asked for his help, so he agreed to help them. Now he was stuck working with 6' hunk of muscle and hotness.

Ryan had tried being cold as ice, like his sister, but he just couldn't. But he didn't want to get hurt again. He just had to not allow himself to not fall for Chad. And Kelsi! What was up with her?! Ryan felt his knuckles tighten around the steering wheel as he thought about her comment earlier in the car. It wasn't as if the entire school hadn't already known Ryan was gay. Even if Ryan did flame brightly, it had become painfully obvious last fall when Robbie broke up with him, publicly, in the cafeteria, going as far as throwing his pizza at Ryan's head. Ryan lost one of his favorite hats that day, unable to get the tomato sauce out.

Ryan smiled when he saw both of his mother's cars in the garage. He could go and curl up with his mommy.

"Ducky? What's wrong?" Phoebe Evans asked as her son climbed onto the couch with her, resting his head on her blanket lap. "I met a boy. And he's straight. And he's a jock."

Mrs. Evans lifted the battered baseball cap off her son's head and gently stroked his hair. "And yet, you're wearing his clothes."

"It was some weird, ‘I'm calling you out, and now you're one of us,' thing, " Ryan said, with a sad chuckle. He's still hopelessly straight. He has a girlfriend."

"Oh, Ducky, I'm sorry. But at least you can be friends. And somewhere out there is a beautiful, wonderful guy, who's been made by God expressly for you. Don't worry, baby." Ryan sniffled a little, and rolled slightly, so that he could see Humphrey Bogart on the screen, and watched the rest of the movie in silence with his mother.

~*~*~*~

Chad cursed quietly as he watched Ryan leave Gabriella's house. Most everyone had left, so it's just him, Gabi, Kelsi, Taylor and Zeke.

"I never knew," he said. "I just thought-"

"We all thought he was just like his sister," Taylor finished. "Nobody's ever taken the time to get to know Ryan. Everyone just thought he was Sharpay without the boobs."

"He told you, didn't he," Kelsi said, looking at Chad, "about when he was gay-bashed."

Chad nodded, and the others looked a little surprised that they had never heard about it.

"I'm not surprised you guys don't remember, it was almost three years ago, I think? Right before school started. And the jocks kept to the jocks, the smart kids to the smart kids, and the drama club to the drama club, so the fact the Ryan Evans missed the first month of school might not have ever registered."

"I remember that," Taylor said, "Because it was the first time Sharpay was ever being quiet a lot, although at times, she was being even bitchier than usual, really taking it out on people."

"Ryan's always just kinda been Sharpay's shadow," Zeke said, "I've never really given the guy a lot of thought, and I hate to admit it. Except last fall, that was harsh."

"What happened?" Gabi asked. She hadn't been there yet, since she didn't start at the school until January.

"Ryan had been dating Robbie Marshall for almost a year," Kelsi said, "And then Robbie decided to break up with him in the middle of the cafeteria, calling Ryan a bitch, cold, saying he's found somebody else, and then finally throwing his lunch at Ryan's head."

Gabriella gasped, and Chad cringed at the memory. Chad had never paid any attention to the male Evans before, but even he agreed that was harsh.

"And Ryan just stood there until Robbie was done, informed Robbie that at least he didn't cheat, and that he was honest, turned on his heel, and walked away," Taylor finished the story.

"Hey, it's almost my curfew. Tay, can you give me a ride home?" Chad asked his friend. The two had gone on exactly two dates, and it just hadn't worked. Human nature states that people see what they want to see, so people still believed Chad and Taylor were an item, despite the lack of chemistry.

"Sure," Taylor said, and the two walked out to her car. "Chad, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, why?"

"I mean, with Troy being such a jerk, and you and I breaking up?"

"I'm okay. Honestly, I'm kind of feeling like an asshole myself right now. What with Kelsi's big reveal about Ryan. I kind of feel bad for never getting to know him before."

"So get to know him now," Taylor said.

Sometimes Chad forgot how smart Taylor was. He felt himself start to perk up, a smile stretch across his face, as Taylor dropped him off at his house. "I think I will."

+end+
AuntMelba1@aol.com