Work Text:
Episode Summary: At last, Captain Binghamton has been transferred to a position on Admiral Rogers' staff. Before he goes, he needs to account - or pay - for $150,000 of missing inventory, which the crew has been trading with Urulu. (From Season 2 DVD box set)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
McHale slipped into the storage building. He quietly made his way to the back and saw Carpenter with a clipboard in his hand, eagerly counting supplies. He snuck up behind him and leaned in close to his ear. “Lucky.”
Carpenter jumped and elbowed McHale. “Geez, Quint.”
McHale kissed the back of Carpenter’s neck and then rested his chin on Carpenter’s shoulder. “What do you think? We’re finally gonna get rid of old Leadbottom.”
Carpenter stepped away and turned to face McHale. “Not until we get this base inventory done and everything’s here.” He frowned. “Is there anything you want to tell me?”
McHale tried to look innocent. “What do you mean?”
Carpenter just stared at him. “Quint.”
McHale sighed. “Look, I know my boys have some larceny in them but it won’t be anything major. The Captain will move up and out of here and you won’t have to be his stooge anymore.” He rubbed his chin in thought. “Then again….” He let his voice trail off and his eyes darted everywhere except to Carpenter’s face.
Carpenter’s stern look faded to one of confusion. “What?”
“After what I heard earlier,” McHale paused and bit his bottom lip, “I thought I might lose you.”
“What do you mean?”
McHale clasped his hands together in front of him and copied Carpenter’s eager to please voice. “Take me with you, Captain. Please.*”
Carpenter laughed and playfully swiped at McHale with his clipboard.
McHale ducked, took a step back, and continued quoting, “And, Sir, may I say that I’m going to miss you.*”
Carpenter set his clipboard to the side and advanced on McHale, who kept backing up. “You try saying that stuff with a straight face.”
McHale smirked. “But you didn’t. You always have that dopey grin on your face.” He switched back to Carpenter’s suck up voice. “Believe me. I have never worked under a more inspiring, a more courageous--*”
Carpenter could only think of one way to stop McHale. He shoved McHale back into the wall between two shelves. He pressed their bodies together, grabbed McHale’s head, and kissed him hard.
McHale was momentarily startled by Carpenter’s boldness. Suddenly, Carpenter’s tongue was in his mouth. He wrapped his arms around Carpenter and pulled him closer.
Carpenter broke away just enough to start kissing along McHale’s jaw. “Where did you leave Parker?” he whispered, letting his hot breath ghost along McHale’s skin.
McHale’s head was back and his eyes were closed. “Um…um…” It took him a moment to get his brain to work. “In the jeep.”
Carpenter nipped McHale’s bottom lip and stepped back. He smoothed his uniform. “Then you’d better go before he comes looking for you.”
McHale forced his eyes open and took a deep breath. He pushed his cap up and wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. “You can be a cruel man, Lucky.”
Carpenter grinned suggestively. “I’ll make it up to you later.”
McHale swallowed. “I will get you back for this.”
Carpenter turned away and grabbed his clipboard. “I hope so.”
“Skip!” Parker called from just outside the door. “Everything all right in there?”
“Yeah, I’m comin’, Chuck,” McHale hollered back. He slapped Carpenter’s ass and hurried out. “See ya later, Carpy.”