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It was kind of sad when he thought about it.
Wesley had always tried to avoid talking too much about himself, about his past, or his family, or his childhood. Still, it wasn’t hard to see how uncomfortable he was in certain situations, and how little he seemed to understand about family. He was fine as long he was with his books or researching, but conversations became stilted and frustrating when the topic turned around towards him.
Growing up, Gunn and his friends had told each other almost everything. They had always known that they could depend on each other for help or assistance. Though he had not known the Angel Investigations group for as long, Gunn still felt it natural to look out for them.
Yet it didn’t seem to fit with Wes’ expectations; he always seemed thrown off whenever anyone asked him how he was. All too often, the gang had found out about an injury received during a fight that Wes did not at first acknowledge. It wasn’t so much that he played down the injuries he received, but that he couldn’t quite believe that the gang would want to know about them. Whenever anyone talked about the gang as a group or as friends, Wesley always seemed to be humoring them.
At first, Gunn bought into the whole intellectual British stiff upper lip that Wes seemed to cultivate. It didn’t take long though for him to realize that the whole thing was a mask. Wes just didn’t seem comfortable with expressing emotions or reacting to situations in ways that one might expect. It gave Gunn pause to realize that in many cases he didn’t seem to know how he was supposed to react. Take Christmas for example. He always appeared so surprised that they planned a celebration and gave out gifts to each other.
It made Gunn inexplicably sad, because it showed that these were new experiences for Wesley. Gunn might not have had the best life, and was still in mourning and feeling guilty for his sister’s death, but one thing he had always had was a sense of family. Even when it was his gang of vampire hunters, he felt a palpable sense of solidarity. It bothered him that Wes didn’t seem to know what family was supposed to mean, didn’t seem to miss it.
There was just something about the man that made Gunn want to protect him. Wesley tried so hard to appear independent and self sufficient, yet he seemed so vulnerable at times. He tried not to show how much he liked having company or someone to hang out with. Despite how hard he tried to show no weakness, it was undeniable that Wes took pleasure from positive comments and concern.
Wesley might not be used to having a family, might not be comfortable with the idea. But if Gunn had any say in it, that was all going to change. Wes would just have to grow accustomed to having people who cared about him. In truth, Gunn was enjoying and looking forward to being the person introducing him to new experiences. As they spent more time together and grew more accustomed to each others presence, Wes seemed to let down the mask for moments and allow childlike wonder to shine briefly through.