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"No, Don. No more. That's it, okay? I'm sorry... but it has to stop... right here, right now."
"Charlie..."
"No! Aren't you listening?! It's over!"
"This wasn't your fault, damn it..." Colby tried to interject, but Charlie would have none of it.
"Are you insane? Of course it's my fault! You know, last night... I finally ran my behavior the last couple years through my relationship math. I have set the *worst* possible example for 'Mita and Larry. I let my... my desperate childhood desire to tag behind my big brother and be part of everything he did make me reckless, stupid and blind..."
Don strode to Charlie, grabbed his shoulders and halted his frantic pacing.
"Charlie, stop this! You did nothing wrong here..."
Charlie pulled away and backed off a step.
"Shorten that up a little, Donny. I did nothing... I stood by while someone I care about walked into a situation that could've gotten her killed. She never would've even been there if I hadn't modeled that it was a good thing to do... that working for the FBI was *fun*, for God's sake. Larry was so happy in the monastery... he was completely at peace for probably the first time in his life and because you had a case... I kept going to him and disturbing him and now they've asked him to leave. God, you've even been dragging *Dad* in lately. This can't go on..."
Don opened his mouth, but no words came to him, so he reached out once more only to have his hand shunted aside by Charlie. "Enough. You can't fix it or cajole me back this time. I'm an academic, Don. I'm a teacher. This is my world... where I belong. Your world keeps threatening to take people and peace of mind away from me. I can't... *won't* do it anymore. I'm finished."
Megan breathed out slowly and moved close to Charlie, forcing Don to back off a little.
"I'm so sorry, sweetheart. It shouldn't have come to this. I guess we started seeing you as a resource instead of a person with needs and fears of your own. You're totally within your rights to walk away. I will miss you something awful, though..." she said, hugging him fiercely.
"You're still my friends... we'll see each other, I promise. I just... you know I'm not good at losing people..."
"I know. It's okay..."
"Chuck... you're sure about this, buddy?" Don finally asked.
"Positive."
"Damn it... you know I don't mean... the job, the people I can help... they come first. It's how I am."
"I admire you for that dedication, Donny. This last case... it could have gone so differently. It was just too close. I have to be a better friend To Larry and Amita... and a better son to Dad. No matter what you think, I let you pull me in and I let them follow. It's my responsibility to change that now... and make sure they're safe again."
Don's eyebrows went up and when he spoke his words were very quiet.
"You... you're saying I took advantage of you. That I knew you'd do anything so the two of us could be close again..."
"I can't know that, Don, not for sure... but I'm starting to think maybe it's true."
David, who had stayed out of the conflict up to that point, now straightened from where he leaned against a desk and started toward Charlie.
"Hell, Charlie, how can you say that?"
"No..." Don forced out, holding up a hand. "He's right. He's right about everything."
"Don, no..."
The hand went up again. Don swallowed, once more caught without words when he wanted more than anything to explain to Charlie, to make him understand. Lost for what else he could do, he gazed deeply into his younger brother's eyes, praying his regret and sorrow showed strongly enough, and strode out of the room, deaf to the voices at his back pleading with him to return.
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