Work Text:
He stared down at him and remembered his words, saw all the blood and thought ‘why now?’. His team was watching him worried about his reaction to losing one of his members. He is able to bury his feelings for the man in front of him. He had a case to finish and a job to do. The case had been solved and they were getting ready to bury Speed he could finally let his mind and heart admit that Speed was gone. Joining his team members at the cemetery he watched as they lowered his heart’s true love into the ground and he finally broke “NOOO!” he screamed waking covered in sweat.
That day at work things seemed to be moving along just fine until Speed arrived and told him that the doctor had approved his return to work. He took the slip from Speed and said “Head on down to the Trace Lab and get to work after you clock in. Let everyone know your back.”
Speed turned toward him asking “H, are you alright?”
Horatio just sat there shaking. He’d been like this ever since the close call at the jewelry store where he’d almost lost Speed. Looking up at Speed he answered “No, Speed, I’m afraid not. I’m scared I might lose you. When I sleep I keep seeing what happened at the jewelry store only the outcome is different and it scares me. I care for you and realized that day that if I didn’t say something soon I could possibly lose you forever and I don’t want that to ever happen.”
Speed listened quietly knowing that for everything to work out for them Horatio had to get over this; possibly both of them. “You’re not the only one who cares or worries H, I know that the fact I dislike guns bothers you and I guess I can understand that. However I have always worried about you every time I watch you strap on your gun, maybe it’s because you seem to be so comfortable with it, I get scared that you might never return to me and that I’ll be forever alone. I focus on one thing in my life and that’s you; Calliegh has her interest in guns and her father, Eric loves scuba diving, and you have your family and work; but I need you; if I were to lose you my reason for life would be gone.”
Horatio looked at Speed and whispered “In many ways we are alike, I may have my family and my work but like you if I lost you my reason for life would fly out the nearest window. I wouldn’t care about my job or my family.”
“We can make this work if we take it one day at a time.” replied Speed smiling.
“Let’s see what happens.” Horatio responded happy to know his feelings were returned.