Work Text:
Of Innocence and Empathy: An Illogical World
by Frogg
Knock knock knock.
"C'mon, Hotch, I know it's damn late," Morgan muttered, resting both hands flat on the door, as if he could will it to open.
Nothing. Then a possible rustle of cloth.
Morgan knocked again, insistent, trying to drown out the memory of Reid's pleading.
'No, please...hold him!...stay...stay with me..."
Footsteps.
"Hotch, I need Reid's key..."
A momentary pause, then more footsteps.
The door opened, revealing Hotch in sweatpants and a plain white undershirt, hair askew, gaze as sharp as ever. "Here." He held out a plastic card, no questions asked. "Let me know." His eyes held everything left unsaid.
Morgan nodded, saluting with the keycard before retreating.
~~~
Reid had twisted himself in the covers, legs trapped under the comforter at the foot of the bed. His fingers clawed the air, tendons showing sharp against thin skin of hand and wrist.
Not in an attack, but applying pressure.
At work, Morgan blessed Reid's perfect memory; now, he cursed it, understood all too fully why Gideon tried to keep him away from the worst of the crime scenes. If Reid would hold still for a moment, stop the mindless, terrified thrashing, Morgan knew what he'd see: a horror-stricken mask of self-hatred and grief, frustration and anger. Tears.
The memory of blood, of a life draining away beneath his hands.
Morgan couldn't leave him like that, trapped in a memory of what hadn't happened.
"No, Nathan...stay..."
"Reid." Morgan reached out, waiting for an opening, one instant when Reid's body stilled enough not to risk injury.
"...dying, I can't...so much..."
There! Morgan gripped Reid's shoulders squarely, riding Reid's body backwards as the startled sleeper bolted upright; hands scrabbled at his abdomen, slipped around and gripped tightly before shoving him away. "Reid! It's me, Morgan, talk to me!"
Reid's eyes were wide, staring at his shaking hands. "So much blood, it wouldn't stop..."
"Reid..."
"He died, I couldn't stop it." Reid couldn't seem to stop the words, couldn't tear his eyes from his hands.
Morgan knew what Reid was seeing, had it confirmed as he started scratching at his wrists. "Reid, talk to me." Gently, firmly, he captured Reid's hands in his own, held them still, squeezing them until Reid winced and looked up in vague recognition.
"I was there, I tried, I t-tried, b-but..." Reid swallowed against the failure, tears spilling down his cheeks, shooting stars against the moonlit sheen of sweat.
"Reid, Nathan is fine. He's in the hospital getting treatment, you know that. You got there in time, you saved his life." He paused, rubbing Reid's wrists soothingly, the skin beneath his fingers cool and clammy. Shock-chill. And Reid was shivering now in reaction.
"I should have kn-known, what he was..."
"Reid," Morgan cut him off before he could continue that train of thought. "You did your best, and it was enough. You got there in time. You saved his life. You got him the help he needs. Now you--" and Morgan let go to poke Reid gently in the chest, "need to take care of yourself so you can keep doing your best."
Reid swallowed again, wrapping his arms across his chest -- not defensively, but to ward off the cold. "How am I s-supposed to g-get to sleep now?" he asked, his voice small and scared. "I'm s-so c-cold..."
"A hot shower will take care of that, and help you relax," Morgan said, adding mentally, 'And get all that blood off you.' He slid off the bed, drawing Reid with him. "C'mon, let's go."
Reluctantly untangling himself, Reid frowned, his forehead creasing. "Wait, y-you're going to...?"
"Reid, you're half awake and out of it. Do you have any idea how many injuries are caused by people slipping in the tub?"
"Um, actually, I d-do..."
Swallowing a bark of laughter, Morgan shook his head. "You're not going to become a statistic, cause I'm not letting you in there by yourself. You need to get to sleep. Will you let me help you?"
Reid wobbled unsteadily on his feet for a long moment, chewing his lower lip. Then, sighing enormously, he nodded, leaning into the support Morgan so readily offered.
"That's it, it's just me," Morgan soothed, wrapping Reid in a loose embrace, waiting for Reid to make the first move before letting go and tugging him into the bathroom.
Reid leaned against the bathroom counter, tugging ineffectually at the drawstring to his sweatpants, watching as Morgan turned on the water and adjusted the temperature.
"Need help with that?" Morgan asked, nothing but sympathy on his face, in his voice. 'Not going there, not the time or place, for either of us,' Morgan told himself as color blossomed in Reid's cheeks.
"N-no?" Reid couldn't meet his eyes, but skimmed his sleepwear off just the same, reaching for the shower curtain.
"Hold on there," Morgan said, reaching out to steady Reid's climb into the tub. Once he was sure Reid was steady, he let go, shed his own sweats, and climbed in. "Turn around," Morgan urged, maneuvering so Reid stood directly in the shower spray, water pounding on his back and shoulders. "Feel good?"
"Mmhmm." The agreement came out as a rumbling purr, Reid arching his neck and smiling, eyes closed as the water sheeted over his face.
Morgan chuckled at the look of sybaritic pleasure on Reid's face. "Hang on, it gets better." Lathering a washcloth with the standard hotel soap, he watched Reid sway, half from fatigue and the remnant of his nightmare, half in experimentation as the water ran over his body. 'No accidents,' Morgan reminded himself before taking one of Reid's arms in his left hand, washing him from fingertip to shoulder gently but thoroughly, the narrow whipcord-thin chest, and down the other arm.
Humming to himself, half aware and pliant, Reid submitted to the tender ministrations, leaning into the rough nap of the washcloth when Morgan tried to wash his neck.
Smiling, Morgan let Reid scrub his cheek against the rough cloth until he was satisfied, then continued, turning Reid back around so he could wash Reid's back.
The water was growing tepid before Morgan reached around and shut off the water with a soft, "All clean." A wet splat marked the washcloth's destination on the edge of the tub.
One hand holding Reid steady, Morgan stepped out of the tub, then turned and helped Reid, letting the younger man lean on him while he wrapped a fluffy white towel around his lanky frame and briskly dried him off. "Pants?" he asked, gesturing to the discarded sweats on the floor.
"Mmm-mmm." Reid shook his head. "Comfy."
"Yeah, Reid, I bet. You're almost asleep on your feet." Morgan gave himself a cursory rubdown with the damp towel, throwing it over the curtainrod before nudging Reid back out into the bedroom.
Goosebumps appeared on Reid's arms and he shivered. Wide-eyed, he turned back to Morgan.
"C'mon, get in bed." Morgan held the covers back, but when he would have tucked them more securely, he found his wrist caught in Reid's grip. "What is it?"
Reid looked up at him, eyes pleading. "S-stay?" The word was whispered, nearly silent.
Morgan blinked,
"I-I don't want to be alone."
Swallowing at Reid's courage, Morgan nodded. "I'm not going anywhere." He slid beneath the sheets, viciously suppressing a shudder at the flickers of memory.
Reid rolled over, one arm reaching across the bed.
Morgan felt Reid's hand settle on his abdomen, covered it with his own. "Sleep, Reid, I'll be here when you wake up."
"Not," and a huge yawn interrupted Reid's declaration, "not alone."
"Not going anywhere," Morgan confirmed.
"Good."
end