Work Text:
humorous deathfics: Why Horatio really brings the Hummer home every night.
by Josette Grover
slashsister@gmail.com or sylumdrift@gmail.com
"Well, I suppose I'd better go drag him out." Eric says, watching the last of the bubbles come up from where Rick Stetler had just shot over their heads into the canal where they'd been investigating a scene. "We don't want to poison anything."
Calleigh turns her head to muffle her snicker as she looks over at the Hummer. "Horatio, when did you have an ejection seat and sun roof put in the Hummer?" she asks as Alexx comes up with a body bag from her van as Eric slides into the water. "At least you won't have to try to figure out a cause of death, Alexx."
"No sugar I won't." she turns to look at the Hummer, or rather at Horatio who's gently petting the side of the vehicle. "I wouldn't have thought that Stetler would get that kind of distance though. You okay, Sweetie?" she walks over and pets the hood.
/Yeah Alexx, I'm fine./ a voice says over the radio, Speed's voice. /I wasn't about to let that bastard crawl all over me./ The Hummer they're leaning against seems to shudder as they remember the day Speed 'died' and had been reborn in the Hummer. /Damn bastard kept muttering that there had be some reason why H was allowed to take me home every night, well he found out all right./
"Is anybody else a little bothered by the fact that Speed came back as the Hummer." Ryan asks Calleigh and Eric quietly as they zip up the body bag.
"Not really," Eric snickers. "The Hummer and Speed were the two things H loved the most, it only makes sense that they became one and the same. It could have been worse." Calleigh and Ryan turn to look at him. "Speed could have come back as the Ducatti, can you see H in his suits coming into the station on the bike." Calleigh's eyes glaze over and she shakes herself violently. "Unfortunately I can," she says. "Come on, let's get Stetler's sorry ass to the morgue. Rock, papers, scissors for who has to come up with a good excuse for the paperwork while Alexx and Horatio take care of the scene here?" Ryan and Calleigh smirk at Eric's moan when he loses.
"Hey Horatio, you never answered my question, when did you get the sunroof and ejection seat installed?" Calleigh asks as she prepares to get in her vehicle.
"They were gifts from a friend at the Flag Foundation last summer." H says absently, still petting the hood of the Hummer. "Part of that special grant."
end