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Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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Published:
2020-11-05
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1,610
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1/1
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11
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1,191

The Loco Brothers Strike Again

Summary:

takes off where the ep "Loco Brothers" ends

Work Text:

Agarn rolled his eyes heavenward. Unfortunately, he couldn’t see the sky because he was in a cave. Hopefully, God could still hear him. //Why? Why me, Lord?//

He pulled at the ropes and watched the cave’s mouth for the Loco Brothers to return. He looked around for anything to help him get loose. There were plenty of rocks on the ground but there was no way to get one.

He chewed on his bottom lip. “Please, God,” he prayed. “I know that I haven’t exactly been a good boy, but I don’t deserve this.”

He took a deep breath. “The troop will come for me,” he told himself. “Sarge isn’t gonna leave his buddy to rot. True?” He nodded crisply. “True.”

The Loco Brothers rushed into the cave. They both wore silly grins. One carried a skin of water. The other had meat for dinner.

“How is new friend?” one asked.

Agarn grimaced. “Just peachy.”

They stared at each other. “What means peachy?” the other asked.

Agarn pulled at the ropes again. “Fine, just fine,” he answered sarcastically. He didn’t know their individual names, so he decided to call the one with the yellow headband Stinky. The one with the blue headband was Slappy.

They grinned at each other, apparently not recognizing sarcasm when they heard it. “That is very good,” Stinky beamed. He nudged his brother. “True?”

Slappy nudged him back. “True.”

“How about untying your new friend,” Agarn suggested.

They lay their burdens down by the wall and came closer. Slappy shook his head. “Can’t do that.”

“We no want new friend Agarn to try and escape,” Stinky added.

Agarn put on his best innocent look. “Would I try to do that to you guys.”

“Yes,” they answered in unison but didn’t sound too upset about it.

//I’ll have to work on my innocent look.// Agarn tried to sound reasonable. “I thought we talked about this, guys. There was to be no more kidnapping members of F-Troop, remember?”

Slappy puffed his chest out. “No kidnap. You a guest.”

“I hate to break this to you, but it’s not polite to tie your guests up in a cave. It’s just not something done in high society,” Agarn said, completely deadpan.

There was a strange glint in Stinky’s eyes. “We make you happy you here.”

Agarn watched them come closer. His gut clenched at the way they were looking at him, like he was a piece of meat. It was eerily reminiscent of when they thought he was an Indian maiden. He swallowed. “Uh, guys, I’m not really an Indian.”

They stood on either side of him, much too close for comfort. Stinky leered at him. “Not matter.”

Agarn’s heart thumped in his chest. “I’m not really a maiden.”

Slappy bared his teeth. “Not matter.”

Slappy’s expression reminded Agarn of a wolf. Agarn looked at Stinky, but the view wasn’t any better. He felt the sweat breaking out on his forehead. He swallowed the panic rising in his throat. “Not matter?” he squeaked.

“Not matter,” they repeated together.

“Uhh….umm….,” Agarn stuttered. “Can’t you guys find a nice Hekawi girl. I’ve heard the talk in the village. There are plenty of squaws who like you guys. Those Wildflower sisters told me they have the hots for you.”

Slappy lightly touched Agarn’s hand. “Not want squaw.” He shot his brother an amused look. “Friend Agarn is shy.”

Stinky caressed Agarn’s other hand. “Him wallflower. His face turn the color of Indian’s.”

Agarn ground his teeth together. “I am not a wallflower.” He jerked his hands away as much as the ropes would let him. “We can’t. I have a girlfriend.”

They both burst out laughing.

“What’s so funny?” Agarn demanded.

Stinky rested with his hands on his knees to try and catch his breath. “You? Girlfriend?”

Agarn straightened up. “I’ll have you know that I had girls lining up back in Passaic.”

Slappy wiped his eyes. “Oh, yeah. We believe you.”

Stinky smirked. “You not type. True?” he asked his brother.

“True,” Slappy answered knowingly.

“What do you mean not the type? I could have one if I wanted one,” Agarn snapped. He realized his slip and hit the back of his head against the wall. “Darn it.”

Stinky took Agarn’s hat off. “You single. You fair game.”

Slappy untied Agarn’s bandana. “That Indian way.”

Agarn tried to move out of the way, but there was no room. “I know for a fact that’s not the Hekawi way.”

Stinky leaned closer and let his hot breath ghost over Agarn’s jaw. “It Loco Brothers way.”

Agarn shuddered and suddenly wished it was someone else panting all over him. “You may be right about the girlfriend, but my boyfriend won’t like this.” The words slipped out before he could think about it. His eyes got wide.

They studied him for a long moment and looked at each other. Stinky blew out a long breath in thought. “Him more likely to have boyfriend than girlfriend.”

Slappy rubbed his chin. “And pale faces not very enlightened. He would have to hide.”

“He look guilty. True?”

“True.”

“That’s right,” Agarn chimed in. “We’ve been hiding it. Please, don’t tell anyone.”

They turned their focus back on Agarn. Stinky looked at Agarn intently. “Loco Brothers may be renegades, but do have honor. We no take man who belong to other man.”

Agarn sighed in relief. “That means you’re gonna let me go.”

Slappy held a hand up. “First you tell us who this boyfriend is.”

Agarn didn’t think his face could get any hotter. His eyes darted around the cave. “Well…That is….”

“We know tell,” Slappy said solemnly.

Stinky nodded. “We promise.”

Agarn again rolled his eyes heavenward. //How do I get into these things? Sarge, where are you?//

Slappy frowned. “Maybe friend Agarn is lying.”

“No. No,” Agarn stuttered. “It’s Sergeant O’Rourke.”

They glanced at each other and then back at Agarn. Stinky jabbed his finger into Agarn’s chest. “Any dog who would lie about such a thing does not deserve to live.”

“I…I’m…I’m….” Agarn tried but the words just wouldn’t come out.

There was movement outside and Slappy went to see what it was. He peeked out of the cave and rushed back. “It Sergeant. He by himself.”

“Then we see what truth is.” Stinky pointed to a tunnel leading further back into the cave. “We hide there.” He glared at Agarn and ran a thumb across his throat. “You tell O’Rourke we here, we kill you both.”

Agarn bit his tongue to keep from squealing like a girl. He watched them disappear. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest.

O’Rourke ducked inside the cave. He had his pistol drawn. “Agarn,” he whispered urgently.

Agarn opened his eyes. Relief flooded through him despite the Loco Brothers threat. He sagged. “Sarge.”

O’Rourke looked around. “Where are they?”

Agarn didn’t want to lie but he also didn’t want to die. “I don’t know. They left here a little while ago.”

O’Rourke put his gun away and walked up to Agarn. He drew a knife from his belt and freed him. “You okay?”

Agarn stumbled forward. “Yeah. A little hungry. A little thirsty.”

O’Rourke held Agarn up. “They didn’t hurt you, did they?”

Agarn briefly glanced over his shoulder to see the Loco Brothers watching them. “No.” He looked up at O’Rourke’s face and saw the concern there. It warmed his heart. “I knew you’d come, but why are you alone?”

O’Rourke rolled his eyes. “The Captain didn’t think the Loco Brothers would use the same cave twice, so he and the troop are searching the surrounding area. They’re not that bright so I decided to check anyway.”

Agarn felt their eyes boring into his back. He took a deep breath and only hoped the Sarge wouldn’t knock him flat on his back for this. He grabbed O’Rourke’s head and pulled him down for a kiss.

O’Rourke froze in shock for a moment. Suddenly, he wrapped his arms around Agarn. He pulled him closer to deepen the kiss.

Agarn didn’t know who was more surprised, him or O’Rourke. However, he didn’t care. He quickly surrendered control. He let out a small whimper of disappointment when O’Rourke broke the connection.

O’Rourke rested his forehead against Agarn’s. “Agarn,” he whispered. “What was that?”

Agarn nuzzled the side of O’Rourke’s neck. The Sarge’s scent seemed to make him hotter. “I don’t know,” he murmured. “But it sure felt good.”

“Sergeant! Corporal! Are you in there?” Parmenter’s voice came from outside.

O’Rourke and Agarn jumped apart. “We’ll continue this later,” O’Rourke said quietly.

Agarn grinned. “Right, Sarge.”

O’Rourke cleared his throat. “Yes, Captain! And I’ve found Agarn. He’s fine.”

Parmenter came inside the cave. “Corporal, thank goodness we’ve found you. Where are the Loco Brothers.”

Agarn shrugged. “Out, Sir. I don’t know where they went.”

Parmenter frowned. “I did want to have a talk with them. They broke their word and I can’t have them kidnapping my troopers just because they want some company.”

Agarn glanced over his shoulder and saw the panic on the Loco Brothers’ faces. “Oh, I think they’ll behave from now on.” They nodded emphatically and he looked at Parmenter. “Boys will be boys.”

Parmenter thought for a moment. “Well, if you say so, Agarn. And Chief Wild Eagle did say he’d keep a closer eye on them. Okay, but if it happens again, in the guard house they go.”

Agarn smiled in admiration. “You’re all heart, Sir.”

Parmenter preened. “Thank you, Agarn.” He turned on his heel. “Now, we should be getting back to the fort.”

O’Rourke exchanged looks with Agarn. O’Rourke followed behind Parmenter and smoothly grabbed his arm when he almost fell over a rock. It was almost as if he was expecting it. “Watch your step, Sir.”

“That’s our Captain.” Agarn giggled. He waved back at the Loco Brothers before rushing to catch up to O’Rourke.

The Loco Brothers came out of their hiding spot. “Agarn was telling truth,” Stinky admitted.

Slappy slapped his brother on the back. “Loco Brothers will just have to find new friend.”

The End