SquidgeWorld Archive

Title: One Last Night

Author: Dana Doggett - admin@danadoggett.com

Date: April 29, 2005

Distribution: Semper Fi, XFMU,
Spookys. All others please ask.

Rating: R - sex

Category: DSR, MSR, angst

In My World of X: Doggett and Scully were a couple,
intimate and loving, during season 9 of "The X-Files.

Beta: Sue866, Kristi, Alexa

HUGE, GIGANTIC Thanks to Sue for her brilliant beta on
this fanfic. Thanks for being able to read my mind and
know exactly how I wanted to express the story. You
are the greatest!

Summary: Scully says a final goodbye to Doggett. Post-
ep "The Truth".

----------

Darkness has swallowed the horrible events of the past
twenty-four hours, and all Scully hears is the sound
of rain falling outside the motel window. Scully is
lying close to Mulder in the bed they share. Tears
stain her face. Thoughts of what might have been have
been running through her mind since Mulder drifted to
sleep. Mulder's words echo in her mind...

Scully is torn. Maybe there's hope for her future with
Mulder, but she can't help but feel that is not true.

How can she tell Mulder her true feelings when it
will only break his heart? She needs to tell him that
she has fallen in love with another man. A man she
came to love while Mulder was missing. A man she came
to trust while she was searching for him and all
alone in despair. A man she depended upon when it was
as though Mulder would never return. She tried her
best not to fall in love with the man, John Doggett,
but she couldn't deny her feelings were real. Is that
not how love strikes the afflicted? Without warning?

Her heart is crushed. Tears sting her eyes once more
as she recalls the events earlier in the day when she
last saw John. They were under attack by the black
helicopters destroying the ruins they sought the
truth in. They were all in danger. Her split decision
to follow Mulder to his car rather than to follow John and
Monica broke John's heart. She could see it in his
Eyes during the split second that their eyes met his before
she rode away with Mulder.

She left John without any explanation or without
saying a final goodbye. Without telling him how much
he means to her and how much she loves him.

Scully glances at Mulder. Is it wrong to love John
even now that Mulder is lying at her side? Mulder, the
man she had loved before John Doggett had entered her
life.

Scully lifts her head from Mulder's chest. She knows
she does love him, but not in the same way that she
has grown to love John. She simply can't bring
herself to let Mulder down. Abandoning him now on his
quest would be a selfish act of leaving to be with
John; to spend her life with John.

She looks at the time. Three sixteen in the morning.

John and Monica had found them close by here in New
Mexico, perhaps they are at a nearby hotel. Perhaps
they were even at this very same motel.

Would it be wrong for her to go look for him? What if
she did and Mulder woke up - finding she wasn't
there? At the same time, she feels she can't do this
to John. She can't leave behind the relationship they
have formed, to end it like this. After all they have
been through together, he deserves a proper end,
a final goodbye. If not, it could haunt her forever.

Slowly and quietly Scully removes the blankets from
her body and gets out of bed. Mulder moves slightly to
readjust his position as her touch leaves him.

Scully puts on jeans and a T-shirt. She runs a comb
through her hair and pulls it back into a ponytail.
She slips on her shoes and quietly leaves the motel
room.

The night air feels cool on her warm skin. She runs
her hands up and down her arms to keep warm.

Maybe this is ridiculous, she thinks to herself. How
in the world is she going to find John? She
has little information to go on. For all she knows, he
and Monica are already back in Virginia. Or maybe
they couldn't escape and were killed in the attack.
Her heart stops at that thought. Or, worse yet, she
finds him and he won't want to see her again, with
the presumption that she has chosen to give herself
to Mulder.

Yes, that is what Scully has chosen. Right or wrong.
But not because she does not love John.

Oh, how she'd do anything for one last night with
John Doggett. To feel his gentle touch, taste him on
her lips one last time, feel his body so close to
hers; to feel the depth of love that no other man has
ever given to her.

She sighs, and wipes rain from her face. She's soaked.
She heads toward the motel office, maybe she'd be able
to find the answer she needs there.

What the hell is she thinking? It's pouring
rain outside, and dangerous men are looking for her
and Mulder. She's likely compromising her safety for
the improbable hope of being with John one last time
- Risking her life to find the one man she loves.
Remaining out in the open - vulnerable - could prove
more fatal than being on the run with Mulder.

Her pace quickens and she enters the motel office. The
man behind the desk smiles at her.

"May I help you?"

Scully looks around the room hesitantly for anything
that should cause her to worry.

"Do you know if a John Doggett has checked in to this
motel tonight?" She silently doubts it. "He's about
six feet tall, brown hair, blue eyes, pointed ears..."
Her voice sounds desperate.

"I recognize the description, what's the name again?"

Scully's heart skips a beat, oh God, is he really
here?

"John Doggett."

The man flips open a record book and thumbs through
the pages to the most recent entries.

"Ah, yes... checked in here around eleven last night."

"What room?"

The man gives her a look. He isn't supposed to share
that information.

Scully sighs and feels her back pocket and sure enough
she left her FBI badge in it. She pulls it out and
flashes it at the man.

"I'm with the FBI, so is he. We're working a case
together and I need to speak with him."

"Room 36D."

"Thank you."

That was easy enough. She still can't believe that
John Doggett wound up at the exact same motel as she
and Mulder in Roswell, New Mexico. Fate and destiny
must be at play here. Perhaps he too wanted to remain
as close to her for as long as he possibly could, and
staying in New Mexico was his way of doing so. She
exits the office, frantic in her pace to find room
36D.

Thunder rolls dangerously in the distance, and is
followed by a flash of lightning.

Her breath is taken away the moment she's arrived
at door 36D. She hesitantly knocks three
times. Should she really be doing this? She knows how
difficult it will be to meet again only to say a
final goodbye. Would it be easier for him to get over
her if he never saw her again?

The door opens slowly and Doggett stands before her
with the door slightly open. She can see that John is
concealing a weapon. His eyes look her over. She knows
that he's unsure if seeing her is real or just a
dream. His hair is neat. He obviously hasn't slept
yet, even though the lights in his room are out.

"John..."

Scully's voice is weak, afraid he's angry with her for
running away with Mulder.

It worries her that he says nothing as he steps aside
to let her in. She watches him shut the door and lock
it. He sets his gun down on the table. His forehead is
wrinkled, so much is on his mind and he doesn't know
where to start.

Scully steps close to him. She places her hands on his
chest. Her fingertips feeling as much as they can,
trying to permanently record the feel of his body in
her memory.

"Dana..." His voice is a whisper. "... I thought I'd lost
you..."

He lifts her chin up with his hand and kisses her with
so much love, so much passion. His tongue makes love
to hers. His hands grasp onto her, never wanting to
lose her again. His mouth leaves hers and he kisses
her neck, moving slowly down. His hands pull her T-
shirt over her head, revealing her bare chest. He
admires her for a moment before placing his lips on
her bare breasts. His hands gently massage her torso
as he kneels before her. She takes hold of his head
and holds him to her. He makes her feel so beautiful,
so loved, so wanted.

A tear escapes, rolling down Scully's cheek. How
will she tell John that this is their final meeting
and she must return to Mulder?

John stands and leads her to the bed. She lies down,
kicks off her shoes, and watches as he strips off his
white T-shirt and removes his jeans and boxers. Her
center throbs in desperation when she sees how hard
his arousal for her is. He's so beautiful, so erotic.

All doubts she had about not coming here, and staying
beside Mulder tonight have left her mind. This is
right. Being with John Doggett is what she wants.

He crawls into bed with her and slowly undoes her
jeans and peels them from her body. His lips plant
small kisses up her inner thigh until his thumbs hook
under her panties and strip them off.

He lays his body on top of hers and kisses her. She
wraps her arms around him, tasting his mouth for the
last time. She takes her time exploring his mouth with
her tongue. She wants so badly to remember everything
about this man.

She feels his hand brush her inner thighs, he circles
her wet clit and she gasps loudly. Her own arousal is
as hard for him as his arousal for her.

His fingers press down gently on her swollen clit,
sliding up and down, further exciting her arousal. She
spreads her legs open, begging him to enter her.
Instead he slides his fingers into her slick opening.
His palm presses against her clit. He begins moving
his hand rhythmically.

Unwillingly, the tears return to her eyes. Shamefully
she covers her face with her hands. John sees her
distress. Concerned, he removes his fingers from her
core to sooth her.

"Dana, what is it?"

Scully shakes her head, "no".

"No?" He's surprised and confused.

"Not like that..."

She sniffles and tries to stop crying.

"I want to feel you in me."

She smiles, with shining eyes, and the look she gives
him tugs at his heart.

She moves her hand between them and teases his hard
cock with her fingers. John lowers his head and shakes
his head, relieved that she only wants all of him. He
looks up into her eyes.

"I didn't bring any protection."

"That doesn't matter, John."

A look of pure, primitive lust returns to his eyes.
Scully strokes her hand along the length of his penis.
Its head rubs against her clit.

"John..." She moans his name, her voice is hoarse, raw
with her love and desire for him.

He kisses her lips and allows her to lead him into her
core. He doesn't move at first. He slowly continues to
kiss her. His hand rests on her breast and his thumb
rolls over her erect nipple. Scully moans and writhes
under his touch. He can feel that she wants him to
move inside her, to begin making love to her. He feels
her inner muscles tighten around his cock. He slowly
pushes into her and feels her hook her ankles around
his back. He looks down at her. Her eyes are closed in
ecstasy and tears stream down her face. He hasn't seen
her cry like this since the first time they made love,
and they realized how strongly they love each other.

He loves her so much. It was nearly the first moment
he laid eyes on Dana Scully that he fell hard for
her. He loved how she challenged his beliefs and way
of thinking. She wasn't just a gorgeous woman on the
outside, she held a beautiful mind and caring soul as
well.

Scully says his name and squeezes her muscles around
his cock. His rhythm increases. Should he pull out
before ejaculating, or should he throw
everything into the hands of Fate and let his juices
flow through her beautiful body?

Suddenly, Scully rolls them both over and asserts
her dominance on top of John. Now she is taking the
lead and spreads her legs more. Her small body has
taken in the full length of his penis. She rests her
hands on his chest and tilts her head back, thoroughly
enjoying the waves of sexual pleasure that flow
through her entire body. John takes hold of her waist
and helps her thrust against him. She lowers her upper
body to hover closely over his chest. Her breasts rise
and fall against him. Her hard nipples barely touch
his skin. He lifts one hand and holds a breast, squeezing
it gently. Their breathing is frantic, short breaths.
Both are on the verge of climax.

"Almost..."

He can barely speak. He wants her to know he's close
so she can pace herself with him to simultaneously
orgasm.

Understanding his need, Scully moves to hasten her
own climax, placing her fingertips on her clit for
more stimulation. She thrusts harder. She feels the
twitch of his penis inside her, knowing he's about to
explode. She gazes intently into his eyes, showing
him how close she is, too. John replaces her rhythm
on her engorged clit with his own fingertips. His
touch sends her over the edge. She lets out an
orgasmic scream. All her inner muscles contract
around his penis, bringing him over the edge as well.
Scully relaxes her body the best she can as she feels
the warmth of his semen pumped inside her. She falls
onto his chest and their bodies tremble through waves
of orgasmic pleasure together. Their thrusting slows
and then they are still.

John feels her breathing return to normal after a few
minutes. He feels her tears falling onto his chest. He
runs his hand through her hair, to comfort her. He
knows that they both never want this moment to end.

"I love you so much, John." She whispers as she cries.

He feels her body shake as she cries harder.

"I love you too, Dana..."

He begins to worry. Something is wrong.

She wants nothing more than to fall asleep in his
arms. That would be so easy. She would feel safe and
secure with him here or anywhere. Moreso than with
Mulder and the danger that surrounds him. She wants
to wake up tomorrow and know that everything will be
all right because John Doggett is at her side. She
wants to be with this man who would view their
relationship as his number one priority, not
government conspiracies about alien colonization. In
this aspect she knows Mulder cannot fulfill what she
desperately wants in life. Why is it she feels
the need to return to him?

She remains on top of John's body for a few more
peaceful moments. Her heart aches at the thought that
she must leave here and return to Mulder before he
wakes. She doesn't want him to know of her liaison
with John or of their love affair. She feels she owes
Mulder her help in fighting his battle, but she
doesn't want him to feel guilty having her along.

Scully places a soft, lingering kiss on John's lips
and reluctantly rolls off of him. She savors the
feeling of his slick penis exiting her body. She
stands up and begins redressing herself. John rolls
onto his side and watches her, wondering why she's
dressing.

"I don't think you need to be worried about sleeping
naked next to me, Dana. I don't think those jeans will
be all that comfortable." He's amused, and feeling
pretty damn good about himself now that she's come
back to him.

"I can't stay here, John." Scully concentrates on
inching up her jeans. She can't bring her eyes to
meet his, it's too painful. She hears him sit up in
bed.

"What?"

"I need to go back...." She zips up her jeans and
slips on her shoes. "to Mulder." She walks to
the door.

In an instant, John pulls on his boxers and
follows her to the door.

"What are you talking about? I thought that..."

His voice is filled with desperation for an
explanation.

Then he sees her face in the dim light. It is then he
realizes why she has returned tonight. She sought
only to give him one last goodbye. Suddenly heart-
broken again, he takes a quick breath to compose
himself. Scully sees his eyes are filling with
tears. Biting her lip, Scully studies his face. A
tear slides down her face.

Her heart screams at her to stay right here with John.
Mulder would come to his own conclusions about why she
isn't there with him when he wakes up in the morning.
He'd be able to go on without her. He can't give up
his fight, and he won't, not even for her.

Mulder doesn't need her.

Scully sees that she means everything to John.
They are two tortured souls united by Fate, which
brought them happiness through each other. Why does
she feel she must run away from their destiny?

"I owe so much to Mulder, John... I-I can't stay here
with you no matter how much I want to."

She reaches up and touches his face with both her
hands. She's never seen his eyes so lost, so sad in
all the time she's known him. A tear falls from his
eye and touches her fingertip.

"John... please don't make this any harder than it
already is..." Her voice trails off as her own emotions
give in and she's unable to keep herself from feeling
her heart break.

She takes John into her arms and holds him tightly
against her body. He wraps his arms around her, not
wanting to let go. She doesn't know what to say to
him.

"You don't owe him anything, Dana..." He kisses the top
of her head.

"You're not safe with him. You saw those helicopters.
They intended to kill Mulder for what he knows.
They'll take your life too if it helps complete their
mission."

Scully knows that he is right, but it doesn't feel
right to leave Mulder. She's the only one he can
trust. Without her he has no one.

"John, being with you this past year... you made me
the happiest I've ever been. I remembered how it
feels to love again. I will never stop loving you.
I'll never forget every moment that we shared..."

John holds her tighter, sensing she wants to leave him
soon. He rests his chin on her shoulder, and breathes
in deep her scent.

"Is there anything I can say to convince you to stay
with me?" He whispers.

Scully pulls away from him and shakes her head sadly
"no". She tries to give him her best reassuring
smile. She rises on her toes and gives him a sweet
kiss on the lips. Another tear trickles down his
face. He holds her hand in his and kisses it. His sad
puppy-dog eyes tell her that if she's ever in any
trouble, he'll always be there for her. He will
always welcome her back into his arms.

She runs her hands across his chest one last time,
looks him in the eyes and walks out of the room,
shutting the door behind her. She pauses and rests her
hand on the door, feeling that he's doing the same on
the other side. What she has decided is not fair to
either one of them, but it's the right thing to do
for Mulder.

Tears stream down her face, mixing with the rain that
falls on her. She walks quickly to return to Mulder's
room before she can change her mind.

Back in the room with Mulder, she shuts the door, and
stares, quietly in thought while he sleeps, for a
long time. She slips out of her clothes and back into
her pajamas, and crawls back into the bed with
Mulder. She wants to feel happy here with him, but
she is not.

She lies so her back is to him. She can't stop
thinking about John. She can't keep the tears from
falling. It hurts too much in her heart. She willingly
gave up and walked away from deep and heartfelt love,
and a secure, happy future in order to live life on
the run with a man who does love her, but takes her
for granted.

Mulder curls up against her body, and wraps his arm
around her waist as he sleeps.

Is it possible that one day she'll find the same love
and happiness at Mulder's side?

A voice in the back of her mind tells her no.

With a lump in her throat, Scully tries to sleep and
settles for dreams of life with John.

The End

----------------------------------------

If you enjoyed this story I would love to hear from you. Please send your feedback to the
following e-mail address:

admin@danadoggett.com

(constructive criticism is also welcome)

Author's Note: Yes, I believe that Doggett and Scully
were a couple through season 9 (and for purposes
outside this story, season 8 as well). This little
story was inspired by the song "My All" by Mariah
Carey, probably one of my favorite songs she's ever
recorded.

"My All" by Mariah Carey

I am thinking of you
In my sleepless solitude tonight
If it's wrong to love you
Then my heart just won't let me be right
'Cause I've drowned in you
And I won't pull through
Without you by my side

I'd give my all to have
Just one more night with you
I'd risk my life to feel
Your body next to mine
'cause I can't go on
Living in the memory of our song
I'd give my all for your love tonight

Baby can you feel me
Imagining I'm looking in your eyes
I can see you clearly
Vividly emblazoned in my mind
And yet you're so far
Like a distant star
I'm wishing on tonight

I'd give my all to have
Just one more night with you
I'd risk my life to feel
Your body next to mine
'cause I can't go on
Living in the memory of our song
I'd give my all for your love tonight

I'd give my all to have
Just one more night with you
I'd risk my life to feel
Your body next to mine
'cause I can't go on
Living in the memory of our song
I'd give my all for your love tonight
Give my all for your love
Tonight