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LAVENDER ROSES by Natasha Barry
Posted Squidge 2007, edited 2023. Based upon BROTHERS AND SISTERS. Kevin/Jason, Kevin/Scotty. Spoilers through the first season. Kevin and Jason have trouble connecting.
There was the usual song-and-dance on picking up a date on the gay scene. Were you both on the same agenda? Was it about romance and the search for a potential partner, or only the unzipped frenzy spent in the arms of a hot lover?
Kevin found himself leaning into the bar, still undecided, until he heard a pronounced – and familiar – “Hello,” beside him. He turned to see Scotty, his former boyfriend.
“Hi,” he greeted in turn, looking past the man to see if he had a date in tow or was solo, like himself.
“He’s meeting me here,” Scotty answered the unspoken query.
“Figures. A guy like you, never alone.”
“Nor you, except when you want to be.”
“Well, let’s not go there, all right?”
“Drinking your sorrows?”
“Just needed alone time, but with a roomful of people.”
Scotty nodded like he understood.
“So, you and this other guy, a settled issue?”
“Are we boyfriends? No, just dating,” said Scotty.
Then Kevin surprised himself with a rushed, “Listen, I know a guy, a really nice guy, I could set you up.”
“You’re kidding.”
“It’s not me, really. I mean, we can’t go that route again. No, it’s Jason McCallister, he’s a Methodist minister, preaches here in town, his brother is the senator my sister is engaged to.”
“He’s a Republican?” Scotty said in the manner of have you lost your mind?
“No, he’s not, believe me. Just his brother, but other than that he’s perfect, and guaranteed to be neurosis free.” Later, Kevin would allow himself to wonder why he was pushing this so hard. Was it to absolve himself of sins? Was it because otherwise he couldn’t think of anything to say?
“Cute, huh?”
“Very. In fact, if you’ve seen the brother, believe me, the looks don’t stop there.”
“Now you’ll give me a complex. Okay,” Scotty said, “you fix us up, I’ll be there. The curiosity is killing me.”
“I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Fine.” Then Scotty moved off.
It was a relief Kevin didn’t feel the drawing power of Scotty anymore. Maybe he was heart-dead after so many failed relationships. Which might be the answer he was looking for; perhaps he was a serial dater and meant to stay that way. Unless struck by a bolt of lightning or something.
That night he took home the next attractive male who insinuated himself against him, and felt pretty good about it, at least until he woke up the next day.
At the office, he slightly cheered himself by the prospect of fixing up McCallister with his old boyfriend; at least Scotty in his old-fashioned southern ways might have Robert McCallister’s approval. Kevin couldn’t imagine the senator not thinking Scotty was good enough for his brother, in character if not class. Anyway, this would be his good deed for the day, and if it really worked out between them, his good deed for the week.
He contacted Jason on his cell phone, having gotten the number during the occasion they were putting together the engagement party for his sister and the senator. “Hi, Jason,” upon the response, “it’s Kevin Walker. You got a minute?” At the affirmation, he continued, “Listen I got a setup for you, and you can trust my judgment better than my sister’s. Yeah, a date. His name’s Scotty, he’s an unemployed actor, works jobs here and there, but a very reliable, sensitive, totally worthwhile human being who is definitely boyfriend material. And he’s willing to forego the McCallister aspect, and the ministry doesn’t bother him, if you were worried about that.” He listened for a moment. “No, I won’t be there. Told him I’d call him today with the arrangements. It all good with you? How ‘bout lunch? Okay, where?” He was off the phone with Jason and reached Scotty with the details and felt altogether great about himself, enough so he left the office for a short city walk to the nearest coffee house and a double shot latte.
Which is what he was drinking when he first met Jason, for that matter. Oh, well, he hoped the date with Scotty would go well. They were both good men, and didn’t deserve to be floundering around dateless when relationships is what they were geared for.
“You did what?” Kitty almost shouted over the phone, after he’d told her the setup he had going. It was the next day – he figured to safely wait on imparting his news until AFTER he was sure the men had met. If it hadn’t gone well, he’d have had an earful from one or both of them by now.
“What’s the problem? You like Scotty and you like Jason.”
“But I liked Scotty and Jason for you, not each other.”
“They’d have to be more compatible with each other. Besides, I’ve too many burned bridges both sides.”
“You sure about that?”
“Well, Scotty I saw two nights ago. I ran into him,” he explained, “and he’s definitely not pining.”
“And Jason? You sure about Jason?”
“We’ve never dated,” he pointed out. “Besides, I don’t think he’s stunted his growth with longing over me.”
“If you say so.”
“You know something I don’t?”
“Well, no.”
The receptionist poked her head into his office.
“Yes?” to her and “Hold on,” to his sister on the line.
She walked in, a bouquet of lavender colored roses steady in her grip as she placed the vase atop his desk. Then she smiled at him and walked out, closing the door behind her.
He frowned, puzzled, then the solution occurred to him. “Someone sent me roses,” he told his sister.
“Really? Who?”
Women were always so excited about flowers, he thought, then again he was excited about flowers, but in this case he knew it wasn’t romance – red was for romance, anyway – and figured it for a Thank You gift. “There’s no card. But it’s got to be Scotty or Jason’s way of thanking me for the setup.” Still, the lavender shade was a trite joke. He figured that from Scotty, who was never that comfortable with Kevin’s straight-acting demeanor, figuring it for a facade. “It must have gone well.”
“Guess it went better than my attempts at setting you up.”
“Now, that’s a sure thing.”
“Not red roses?”
He wouldn’t mention the color; he’d never hear the end of it. “No, not a love bouquet, sorry, no secret admirer.”
“Pity.”
“You’re so typical; in love and wanting the whole world in love,” he derided.
“Well, why not?”
“Why not?” he whispered to himself after he was off the phone and staring at the bouquet.
The next day he received a call from his mother. Nothing unusual about that, except they usually talked at least once a day. “Hi, Mom, what is it?”
“Need you at dinner tomorrow. Me, you, Kitty and Robert, and Jason, too, I think.”
“Jason?”
“I think he invited himself, or Robert was having dinner with Jason, yes, that’s what he said, dinner with Jason, so now Robert is bringing Jason to dinner with us, so he doesn’t have to cancel on him.”
“Family politics.” He hoped there wouldn’t be a later call and he’d be informed Jason was bringing Scotty, perhaps as a way of introducing the new boyfriend to brother Robert, with the Walkers providing the buffer zone. It would all be too much, and Kevin had already been cutting back on his wine intake. Setting his old boyfriend and old prospective boyfriend up was one thing, to witness them cuddling would be too much. “I’ll be there,” he told his mom. “How come the rest of the crew,” his siblings, “aren’t going to be there?”
“Oh, Honey, I don’t really want to turn it into a big deal. A small family dinner; intimate. It’s about time,” she insisted.
“Okay, I promise not to bring a date.”
At the table, Kevin didn’t realize he’d be sitting next to the senator’s brother; had assumed he’d be seated at the opposite end to his mother, who sat at one head. Then again, perhaps his mother was sensitive on the subject, and usually it was Uncle Saul who now occupied that position.
“Where is Uncle Saul, by the way?” he asked his mother. It suddenly occurred to him he was paired up with Jason McCallister just as his sister was on the opposing side paired with her fiancé. His mother was the lone architect of this arrangement.
“He went out of town. That old friend of his he reconnected with at the engagement party - Milo?” she reminded him. “They had some catching up to do.”
At least Jason McCallister was at his side, so he didn’t have to resist staring at the man, as it would be awkward. The man was so handsome it was a distraction. However, Kevin had to wonder if he and Scotty had been to bed yet. Surprisingly, the picture of the two of them making love was kind of fuzzy, but at the same time hurt like hell. Surprising only because he’d set them up, and also that the one relationship of his was now dry as dust and the other had never begun. Envy, it was, of that complacency that came with togetherness.
As if she could read his mind, and torture him with his thoughts, Kitty asked her future brother-in-law, “How’d your date go with Scotty?” At his look, “Oh, Kevin told me all about it.”
“Really well, a great guy.”
Nora was puzzled. “Our Scotty? I mean, Kevin’s Scotty?”
“Yes,” responded Jason. “Kevin set us up on a blind date. He’s a great guy.”
“I hope you didn’t share stories about Kevin.” Robert McCallister was obviously hoping they had.
“Oh, there was some of that. The Walkers are the only people we have in common.”
Since the topic had been raised, and not by himself, Kevin said, “You seeing each other?”
“It’s gone well so far.”
Kevin nodded. At least his gay matchmaking skills were better than his sister’s. Now if he could only meet someone he wanted in his own life for more than one night.
The conversation moved on, mostly about the wedding arrangements as well as some TV appearances that were on the senator’s agenda. Since Kitty had moved in with her fiancé there was also the delicate issue of the presidential candidate living with a woman who wasn’t his wife.
Kevin was content letting the conversation wash over him, even through coffee and dessert, which he assisted his mother in bringing into the dining room. At one point, putting the cup and saucer before Jason, he thought he caught the man looking at him oddly, a strange light in the deep blue eyes, but when he queried that with his own stare, the other looked away. Oh, perhaps the man was still wondering why Kevin had fixed him up with an old boyfriend. Or maybe – worse – Kevin had been the main topic under discussion, and who knows what new – and even lower – opinion Jason McCallister formed of him. Well, no good deed went unpunished and his sister’s potential brother-in-law’s poor opinion of him was obviously the sacrifice.
With family you didn’t need to see them to the door on departure, but for some reason, maybe to test his theory of Jason McCallister’s attitude towards him, Kevin lingered as they put on their coats, the three of them departing in the typical Robert McCallister limo.
“Goodbye, Kevin,” Jason said to him, then followed his brother and Kitty out the door, which Kevin closed behind them.
He wondered if he’d embarrassed himself by the formal behavior, making Jason think there was some final word he wished to impart to him. Well, that was Kevin being a little off-course as usual.
When he walked into the kitchen, his mother was standing guard. “Kevin, you’re being too quiet, you’re making me nervous.”
“The Walker-McCallister union,” he reminded her.
“I know; but what’s meant to be… We’ll just make the best of it.”
Within a few days, Tommy was on the phone to him.
“How are you set up for next weekend?”
“Why?”
“I’ve got a camping trip arranged for you and me with the senator and his brother.”
“Again, why?”
“Justin’s gone; leaving two of us from each side, seems a good time to get better acquainted without the female influence.”
“You mean interference.”
“That, too. Listen, turns out Kitty wants him out of the way as she’s doing some re-decorating of his old place, which is her new place.”
Scoffed Kevin, “So she’s taken over, and she hasn’t consulted with me on the decorating?”
“She’s afraid you’ll put up a giant swastika over the entrance.”
He knew just where to get one too. Kevin grinned, but, “You know I’m not into camping. You’re talking tents, dirt, mosquitoes and canteens, right?”
“Yep, all that manly stuff.”
“You’re making it sound like a gay porn flick, you aware of that? Which do I pair up with – the Nazi or the Minister?”
“Neither, they both hate you. Come and enjoy the scenery. We don’t spend enough time together anyway.”
“Uh, I’ll come for the scenery, all right.”
Immediately he was rethinking his decision. Really, he hated camping. His idea of camping was a five-star resort. But if Tommy found this essential, maybe his brother required time away from his wife. The least he could do was provide the excuse. For Tommy, things had been tense at home since the birth of their twins, with only one surviving.
On the weekend, they drove up to the mountains in one car, and the drive was such, on this occasion Kevin could have hoped for the senator’s limo, instead they were in a sleek but tough SUV Tommy kept for outings such as visits to the orchards. Since it was Tommy’s vehicle, he was in the driver’s seat, with the senator immediately claiming the passenger front seat – which assumption had Kevin grimacing – and Kevin and Jason were left to divide their poundage amidst the tight space holding the equipment they’d use for the night. At least it was only one night, Kevin was assuring himself.
“We’re near a lake,” Tommy called out, so everyone could hear him. “No outhouse facilities, guys, real camping.”
“Oh, great!” Kevin returned, sarcastically, noting out of his peripheral vision his response earned a slight smile – smug? – from Jason. He’d been avoiding staring at the man, which wasn’t easy, given how gorgeous he was. The man loved camping, as well, and was fed up with Kevin’s ill humor.
It was truly a beautiful face, with that tanned skin, sapphire blue eyes and very full lips. And the man had shaved, too, not the bearded yet hot minister he’d first met over coffee. The nearly feminine beauty was stressed now, and the unexpected aspect to the loveliness caused Kevin’s breath to catch in his throat somewhere, when the McCallister men joined them for the trip. He was accustomed to the handsome plasticity of Robert McCallister, his sister’s fiancé, but Jason was still a source of wonder, seeming a more natural appearance, perhaps a more relaxed personality, than his uptight politician brother. Or maybe Jason’s affect upon Kevin was simply because the man was gay, as he was, and therefore ostensibly available.
“You and Tommy go camping a lot?” Jason asked him.
The vehicle bumped along and Kevin gritted his teeth. The PCH, that was as tough a road as he liked.
“Huh? No, never.” He wasn't going to pretend otherwise.
“Then why now?”
“You’re asking me? I’d as soon be home.”
“Canceled a hot date?”
“What? No, work to do. As usual.”
“You work on weekends?”
“Don’t you?” But Kevin knew for a minister it wasn’t the same thing.
“All right, if you don’t want to talk about it.”
He knew he was being hard on the man, who was trying to get along with him, and he had to sympathize since Jason had made it clear, through his brother, that he detested the sight of him. Even now, the way Jason abruptly abandoned him on their solo coffee date stung badly, if he let himself dwell on it. “It’s fine; not usually interesting to others. Class action lawsuits, highly profitable but extremely boring, and yes, a lot of work involved.”
“Pretty good profit, though.”
Trust a Republican – by association only – to pick up on that. Yes, unlike the majority of his family, his income was independent of inheritance. “I make a living. I have partners, we all have work to do, we share equally in the profits.”
Their conversation drifted off, but Kevin could tell that frequently the other’s glance fell upon his face, assessing what, perhaps?
He knew he was considered the linchpin of the family, the “perfect one,” as Justin would put it, the one they all ran to for advice or calming effect. His mother would call him when she needed an escort, and that was yet another pull away from his independence and his search for a mate. He knew he was angry and resentful often now, but sometimes he got tired of being the one who was supposed to put the fires out. Maybe they sensed that as well, for formerly they’d gang up on him if he was taking a stance upon which they disapproved, but now they left him alone in his brooding.
Except for this trip into the unknown with a future brother-in-law he could wish his sister had never met, and the brother of that man, who was a witness to his making a fool of himself. His clothes always correct, his job performed most precisely, being incredible in bed, his cool car, his impeccable wit, they’d all gone into perfecting the image he had of himself, to how he strove to appear to others. The last thing he needed was to be around people, three of whom could testify to how frequently and clearly he lost control.
It must have been a stroke, one of those common partial strokes, so that he had lost his mind just long enough to agree to this trip. What was he going to do in the company of the McCallister brothers for a night and day?
Maybe he wasn’t the one under a brain lapse; maybe it was Tommy.
When they arrived at their destination, it was a chore to unpack, but mainly a chore to put up the tents. Surprisingly, it was the senator who was expert at that along with the senior Walker son, proving the politician hadn’t always been shiny and elegant in his limo.
Two tents standing, and Kevin said to no one in particular, “No bathroom, no bed, no room service, no gay porn.”
“We have a lake!” announced Robert, as if that settled it.
Tommy slapped him on the back in commiseration. “It’ll be fun, Kev.”
Older brother Tommy had him somewhat on a pedestal, due to the fact he was smart, funny, gay and even good at football, so Kevin cut him some slack. “You owe me,” he told him. Though it wouldn’t have been so bad if it were just him and Tommy, but with the McCallisters present, he couldn’t let his guard down the entire trip.
Just because his sister was marrying the senator didn’t make his political affiliations disappear, and Jason was someone he’d once been attracted to, and could be again, if forced to remain in his company.
They were organizing the cookery when something occurred to Kevin. “I’m surprised you were available this weekend,” he told Jason.
“We’re back tomorrow night, so I’ll be at services on Sunday.”
“I meant Scotty.”
“I’m not chained to anyone. He might have plans of his own.”
“Oh.” Kevin didn’t know. It occurred to him he and Scotty were in each other’s pockets during the time they were dating; at least whenever they weren’t broken up. It was a pretty volatile relationship, no surprise the romance couldn’t continue. Two different worlds, as they were constantly being reminded, as they kept offending each other with mutual – and wrong – assumptions. “Cause he could have come in my place.”
“You just want to get out of camping. Besides, I think your brother had other ideas.”
That was true; why would Tommy invite Scotty in place of his brother, even if Scotty and Jason were dating? That relationship was nothing to Tommy, who was counting on bonding taking place between the sets of brothers.
Elder brother was so easy-going and relaxed he never had to work at relationships, unlike the highly-strung Type A Kevin.
“We’re heading into the woods!” It was Robert, who was into his hiking boots and following Tommy up an incline.
“Hiking?” Jason asked.
Kevin grimaced. “I’d rather make coffee. Wonder how cold the water is?”
“For swimming? Only one way to find out.”
“You bring a suit?”
“Of course. You?”
“I always do.” He began preparing the coffee beans as the other man was setting up the battery operated burner.
“You ever take a boyfriend camping?”
“No. Trips to the ocean, Hawaii, Vegas, skiing, that’s more my type of thing.”
“Sounds great. You like to spoil your boys.”
“Or I’m afraid they’ll have a low threshold for boredom.” Kevin shrugged.
“Them, or you?”
“Maybe both.”
“I know you were with Scotty, and have some idea why that didn’t work out. Your other relationships were short-lived?”
“Don’t forget dramatic.”
“Maybe that’s why.”
“You’re saying I want the thrill of the chase?”
“Do you?”
“I have an attraction to men who are unobtainable, if not immediately, eventually. My heart gets broken by men I’ve had, not the ones I haven’t.”
“Ouch.”
“Oh, we never got that close.”
“True. That was the date that started as a dream, and ended in Hell.”
“Heaven and Hell? A little high-minded? But my sister shouldn’t have set us up. I’d told her I never wanted to meet you. She set us up, me not knowing who you were.”
“I gathered that. And I didn’t make things easier. I shouldn’t have left the way I did. It was abrupt and rude; doubly rude as I insinuated you’re a 'zero'.”
“Oh, okay.” So it seemed the explanations and apologies went both ways. It was easier before, treating Jason as a McCallister, not as Jason. Still, he’d just have to be on his guard, make sure he didn’t become attracted to a man not attracted to him, whom was dating his ex-boyfriend, in fact. He wouldn’t do that to Scotty, stealing a man from him, even if Jason made that possible, and after all, Jason hadn’t said he wasn’t a zero, just that he regretted letting Kevin know he felt that way.
They contemplated the simmering pot for a while, then Jason stood up. “Time for a swim.” He made for the SUV and shortly emerged attired in a Speedo and Kevin wanted to kill him for the vision he made.
The man was more splendid than his fantasies allowed for. In fact, physically, the man was out of his league, just as Chad Barry had been. If Jason ever wanted him, it was fleeting and easily under control. A man like this could toss him aside for the next pretty face as easily as Chad had done. Being a minister didn’t mean Jason was immune from the same temptations as anyone else.
Jason sauntered past him. “Coming in?”
Kevin shook his head no. With such a vision it was hard to speak.
He briefly watched the spirited figure making a splash in the water, maybe not as cold as assumed, or the McCallister brother was fearless. Then the coffee was ready and under the pretense of sipping at it and appreciating the view, he sat back on a cushion and stared at the water, occasionally letting his glance slide over the majestic figure until the man returned to shore.
Just like his brother, Jason McCallister could have been a model; hell, he even put Chad Barry to shame, and that had been the best-looking man Kevin had ever been to bed with.
“I’m surprised we have the lake to ourselves.”
Jason squatted near Kevin atop an air cushion, intent on letting the air dry his wet skin.
“You’re a good swimmer. I’m relieved I didn’t have to exercise my lifeguard training.”
“You worked as a lifeguard?”
“No. But there were so many of us Walkers it was deemed pertinent we all get first aid training.”
“Your parents were very thorough.”
“That’s one way of putting it.” He was busy ignoring the man’s pert nipples.
There was the return of the missing McCallister and Walker brothers and both men turned their heads to greet them.
“Swimming?” Robert inquired of Jason, as if challenging him, it sounded to Kevin.
“The water’s great. You should go in.”
“I didn’t bring a suit.” Robert was obviously put out his brother had.
Jason pointedly turned to Tommy. “You?”
“Not me either.”
“I did,” said Kevin. “But I don’t feel like it. I thought campers were supposed to be prepared.”
“Maybe the gay ones pack more clothing,” Tommy shot back.
Kevin grinned. Leave it to Tommy to state the obvious. Whatever it was, it served to undercut the senator’s ill humor, and Jason rose to change into his casuals. For Kevin that was good and bad news, the good news being he no longer had the distraction of that body – and therefore he was less at risk of an injudicious hard-on – but the bad was he no longer had the distraction of that body.
Kevin knew himself to be toned, and obviously Chad and others hadn’t found his appeal wanting, but he resolved to skip the swimming, no matter the allure of the lake. He’d prefer Jason not have the opportunity to find fault with him.
The rest of the night was spent in humorous reminiscences and conversation, not even Kevin holding back as there were only the four of them and he couldn’t ignore the senator under these circumstances, besides that would mean undercutting the effort Tommy was making at uniting them as a brotherhood. Tommy had enough misery and strife in his life, Kevin couldn’t be responsible for short-circuiting his best intentions that way.
Still, it was difficult being in conversation with a man who didn’t consider him good enough to be a romantic partner for his brother.
He and Tommy shared their tent; conversation being short except for Tommy’s offering a few heartfelt words on the state of his family. Accustomed to being the repository of all family confidences, Kevin listened, took note, and made the appropriate comments, hoping everything would work out in Tommy’s favor. He didn’t want to see his brother with a broken heart or broken marriage. Especially since the man was reeling from their father’s putting their sister, Sarah, over him in the business, though Tommy had been running it for years. Then there was the sterility factor, and Justin and Kevin both contributing sperm to father the next generation of Walkers. Then the loss of the boy twin, just when things had been looking brighter. “One small step forward, two giant steps back.” Kevin wondered if the fates were against them.
Next morning, they opted to skip swimming in favor of a splashing of the upper torso and face for a swift washing, toothbrushes and portable razors notwithstanding. “Guys, we’re not really roughing it,” Tommy remarked as they emerged quite LL BEAN.
Left on his own, and content in his jeans and t-shirt, Kevin lay back to soak up rays before their departure.
After a moment, he sensed someone’s joining him, and he opened his eyes and turned his head to find Jason McCallister sitting beside him. “Hey.” For a moment he was wondering where the senator and Tommy had gone. They were both easy-going enough, Kevin could imagine them speaking the same language. But Kevin was surprised Robert left him alone with his brother, and could only assume the senator believed he was no threat to the minister’s virtue.
Jason was wearing a light tan suede jacket over a blue t-shirt, and Kevin had to remind himself the man wasn’t up for grabs, cause he was so damned attractive, it hurt.
“Tommy and Robert off again?”
“Hiking,” said Jason. “It’s not often Robert has a chance to slip into his cowboy boots, and after packing up the SUV he couldn’t wait. I think it’s a breeze for him to be out of a suit.”
“He’s a handsome man,” Kevin said, obviously neutral on the subject. “You have a ranch in Santa Barbara?”
“Yeah, but his life is really in D.C. and L.A.. Sometimes when he wants to relax, people mistake it for a photo op.”
“Cynical people, like me.”
“Right.”
“He’s so much older than you.”
“Unlike you and your brothers.”
“Yeah, we dropped like a litter.”
“There’s too many years difference in our ages. I think Robert feels more like my uncle than my brother, or maybe even my father, since we lost our parents when I was young. I know he’s tried to be as protective as a father, sometimes. My becoming a minister has only encouraged him, like I’m fine china that’s not to be touched, only put on display.”
“That must be rough.”
“We’ve had our run-ins. I guess the important thing is he means well. You, on the other hand, are a middle son with both your brothers looking up to you.”
“I wouldn’t say that.”
“It’s obvious, and confuses the hell out of Robert.”
“Because I’m less dependent. From day one, I made my own way, and our dad had to deal with me as an individual. I think sometimes Tommy feels he took the easy way, going into the family business. And Justin’s fucked up a lot in his life, struggles a lot, can’t seem to settle into anything; has that addictive personality which doesn’t help. But I know they both wish I was straight.”
“They don’t seem to have a problem with your being gay.”
“Believe me, when there’s an argument, it will somehow turn into a slur against my sexuality. It’s Kitty and Sarah who have less of a problem with it. I think Justin’s disappointed in his big brother; Tommy feels I did too well in sports to fit the stereotype. And they both know I had sex with a girl before I had sex with a guy. So they’re confused. I’m not. But you know Kitty and I have political differences, born out in her choice of career as well as her choice of boss and fiancé.”
“Yeah,” Jason said, “we’ve been through that.” He sighed, then plunged forward. “To bring us up to date, are you seeing anyone?”
Kevin was somewhat surprised the man insisted on conversation; then again, maybe Jason was bored. “Yeah, I am. Another lawyer, name’s Mark. We were going out this weekend, but we’ll hook up tomorrow.”
“Another lawyer.”
“Yeah, both lawyers, both gay, and both driving convertibles. Perfect for each other.”
The men returned and they packed themselves into the vehicle, this time Kevin feeling less self-conscious in the company of the McCallisters. So Tommy’s initiative had paid off, as Kevin realized though he couldn’t vote for the man he could survive intact with a prominent Republican being a member of his family.
The remainder of the weekend, Kevin returned to working from home, but also hooked up with the new guy, Mark, the one he’d met at the coffee house down the street from his office. This time they progressed to bed, and Kevin felt comfortable with the guy, enough they had breakfast together on Sunday and spent the afternoon watching movies.
On Wednesday, the LA TIMES was brought to him, and Kevin examined the paragraph in the Gossip section of the paper: “Kevin Walker – you may remember him as being the attorney boyfriend who resulted in the outing of soap stud Chad Barry – is now reportedly seeing presidential candidate Robert McCallister’s brother, Jason. In fact, Kevin and Jason may be thisclose to announcing their own civil union, making it a family affair, as Kevin’s sister, Kitty Walker, is the betrothed to Senator McCallister. Keeping it all in the family Kids!”
“I don’t believe this.” Kevin was immediately on the phone to his mother who already had the paper in hand and was about to call him. “It’s Scotty dating Jason, not me. And I’m dating Mark. But no one cares.”
“Well, you can’t let them know any of that,” said Nora, “or they’ll turn it into something worse. Ignore it, and it’ll die down. There’s no smoke behind that fire after all.”
“Jesus, but where do they get this stuff?”
Nora shrugged it off. “Someone must have overheard something, and put two and two together and in this case they came up wrong.”
“As long as nobody blames me for this.”
“Oh, Honey, nobody will; what would you have to gain by planting such a story?”
Worried regardless, he left a message on Scotty’s voicemail. “Hey, Scotty, it’s me, Kevin. In case you’re wondering it was definitely not me that planted that article in the paper. But I’ve been advised – by my mother, no less – not to call and correct it as it would only lead to more embarrassing angles for them to work with. Get back to me on this, okay?”
Scotty was back to him, shortly, and reached him live. “Hey, Kevin, it’s fine. I know you weren’t responsible. For one thing, it’s not your style; for another, it serves no purpose. I’m thinking it’s a gas in a way.”
“You have any idea where that crap came from?”
“I can only assume that someone overheard us talking, me and Jason. If that’s what it was. Who knows, maybe the senator and his bro were talking, they do that.”
“But who knows Kevin Walker? Seems a lot to put together.”
“I agree. But somebody who reads SKINI MINI or knows about your sister, and if it was the senator talking – or someone from his office – obviously they know you’re a prospective brother-in-law and the senator has a gay brother. But don’t worry about it.”
“As long as you’re okay with it.”
“I am. So, how are you otherwise?”
“Working.”
“You work too hard.”
“Well, between boyfriends,” he said, “I get like that. Though I’ve been seeing someone for about a week; but it’s too soon to tell. And how are you? Things going well with you and Jason?”
“He’s fine; I’m fine. We get along fine.”
“I don’t remember you being so obtuse.”
“We talk about you a lot, that’s no surprise. We end up talking about you. We even saw WICKED and still talked about you.”
“I love WICKED.”
“I know.”
Kevin could hear the smile over the phone, the man knew him that well.
“So what have you said about me?”
“Don’t worry; I’ve been kind. You, however, kept back from me that you dated him.”
“Once.”
“So how come you didn’t latch onto him?”
“He’s a little too close to the Republican agenda. Right time, wrong guy, or vice versa.”
“But he’s not Republican. I can see what you mean, though, very conservative. Threw me off a bit. It’s been a while since I’ve been with a preacher’s son, or in this case, the preacher.”
“You go, Girl!”
“Listen, I have to leave for work in a few. But it was nice talking to you, Kevin.”
“Same here. Scotty, I still wish we were compatible.”
“Same here.”
He and Scotty never seemed to get it together as a couple, they were at odds from the first day they met, and the phrase Different Worlds, or the fact opposites attract but can’t stay together, seemed proved by their faulty relationship. “Well, don’t abandon me completely from your life,” said Kevin. “I’ll always want to know you’re okay.”
“Don’t make me cry.”
“Okay, I promise.”
“’Bye, Kev.”
“’Bye, Scotty.”
But on the morrow, there was a follow-up in the paper on Kevin’s presumed marital status: “Jason and Kevin, our pinup couple of the year – gorgeous and adorable, aren’t they? - have proven BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN ain’t just a movie! So what was happening in that tent up in the mountains last weekend, boys?”
This one got Kevin on the phone with Mark, who seemed confused about Kevin’s relationships, within his own family and the prospective one joining it. “So have you dated Jason McCallister or not?”
“Not. We had a blind date, a coffee date. It didn’t work. Now he’s dating someone else. Tommy just wanted a family outing, and that’s all this was.”
“Well, okay. So we still on for dinner?”
Kevin was firm. “Definitely.” He was so compatible with Mark it was nearly… boring. But at least Mark was there, and he needed less drama in his life.
Kitty wasn’t sympathetic. “Could be worse, they could be inferring Robert and Tommy are a couple.”
“Oh, very funny.”
“It is really, Kevin, if you think about it.”
He pressed, “So the senator and Jason are okay with this?”
“They’re laughing about it. Granted, Robert doesn’t think it’s so funny, but that’s because he hates you. But Jason calmed him down and now he sees the bright side.”
“What bright side?” So Robert still hated him?
“Well, you and Jason could really be dating.”
Kevin pondered the animosity even as he was aware his mother was collecting the clippings in a scrapbook.
“When did I become a public person?” Was it the relationship with Chad? Having a relationship with a public person automatically made that person a public person.
That night, he and Mark dined on Italian, discussing their most recent cases, which Kevin only paid half a mind to. It wasn’t long before his new boyfriend picked up on his distraction.
“Earth to Kevin. So, what is it? Am I that boring? Tough case at the office?”
“The TIMES.”
“Oh, that. Didn’t realize I was dating a celebrity. Weird, cause I once dated a celebrity, he’d come right into the office, but except for some blind items posted on the web, there was never a hint of us in the press.”
“I didn’t know I was a public person until this happened. You know I’ll be campaigning for the Democratic candidate. That’ll put me in public opposition to my brother-in-law.”
“Well, that’s a good thing; says a lot to the voters.”
“It’ll seem like a family feud. I don’t want to be invited on CNN or FOX NEWS.”
“Well, no one wants to be on FOX NEWS.”
“It’s not funny.” Kevin cracked a smile regardless.
“How about you shelve your future plans until you absorb the situation you’re in? Besides, McCallister may not get the nomination, and then you’ll have worried for nothing.”
“We can only hope.”
“Of course, with your inside track, you might be able to bring him down.”
How did Mark know about the inside information he might have? No, he couldn’t; Mark was assuming is all. There was no way he knew about the attempted extortion of McCallister which he beat back. In a way, he’d already compromised his beliefs, circumventing the man who might have brought down the McCallister candidacy. It wasn’t pretty, if it was his own principles being marginalized.
“How about we skip coffee? Want to go back to mine?” He needed to take his mind off things, and sex would be the only way of accomplishing that.
Mark smiled, surveying him from across the table. “You have to ask?”
Mark didn’t spend the night, only a couple of hours in Kevin’s apartment, then the man was gone to face his own night before the workday morning.
Kevin remained sleepless, thinking back on the last week and the man whose beauty was stunning and who made Kevin feel wholly inadequate. Yet he knew the man was immediately attracted to him, so something might have developed between them, at least until Jason knew what brother Robert already knew, that Kevin wasn’t good enough for him.
Tired of thoughts careening through his mind, Kevin got up to fix himself a cocoa – worked when he was a kid – and turned on the news to see if anything could lull him into sleep. Surprisingly, there was an interview with Senator McCallister being re-aired, evidently first telecast live the former afternoon. Now it was early morning hours the next day, so Kevin settled in to find out what his future brother-in-law was saying by turning up the volume and settling in.
“No, the reports in the paper are wrong; my brother and Kevin Walker aren’t dating. In fact they are both seeing other people.”
“Other men?”
“That’s right. They are both gay. The TIMES got that right.”
“But your brother isn’t part of your campaign. Are you keeping him hidden?”
“Hardly. He’s present in my life, but he’s not political, and he has his ministry. Kevin, on the other hand, is the brother of my fiancée, Kitty Walker, who is also my Communications Director, and the Walkers are a very tight knit family. Naturally, there’s been interaction on both sides.”
“Including a camping trip?”
“Yes, two of the Walker brothers – the third is overseas serving his country in Iraq – and myself and my brother undertook a camping trip together. And it never had the romantic connotation to it the TIMES has insinuated. Myself and Thomas Walker are both heterosexual and Kevin Walker and my brother have never dated, let alone been involved. As I said, they are both seeing other people.”
“You’re on record as having voted against gay marriage, but you’ve since spoken in public declaring yourself for it. Is that the influence of your brother?”
“Partly. When someone in your immediate family is gay, it’s commonsense to exam all sides of an issue.”
“And is your brother about to enter into a gay civil union or marriage?”
“Not at all.” The senator was sounding remarkably weary of the subject.
“So I guess we got that straight.” Ha ha, thought Kevin. The interrogator continued, “So is your brother or future brother-in-law going to involve themselves in your campaign?”
“That’s to be decided.”
Liar, thought Kevin as he turned the machine off. He wondered why Kitty hadn’t given him a head’s up on the interview, since he was one of the items under discussion.
Next day, in response to the senator’s TV interview, the TIMES had photos of himself and Jason McCallister on an inside page, under the heading NOT A COUPLE, SAYS SENATOR. The subheading was Senator Says Gay Brother and Other Not to Wed. The photos depicted himself on the street, and looked as if it had been shot from across the street or from a passing car, while Jason was stately in his minister’s robes conducting a sermon. The inferences and photos made Kevin feel sick.
In his office, he was reaping the dubious reward, once again, of being the main topic of water cooler speculation.
His mother was on the phone with him, and rather blasé about the whole thing, which surprised Kevin. He noted as time went on, with distance from his father’s passing, his mother gained in fortitude, as she seemed to fall into those Nora panic moments less frequently than she used to.
“Fortunately, Mark understands the situation, even finds it funny.”
“So that one’s working out?”
“Keep your fingers crossed.”
“When will I meet him?”
“I’m not ready to inflict the entire Walker clan on him. Let me enjoy him for a while.”
“First time I remember you dating a lawyer.”
“That’s because most of them are straight. We’re having dinner tonight. I’ll prep him in advance with more Walker family tales.”
“You do that, Honey. So where you going?”
He mentioned his favorite restaurant, the one he stubbornly had not surrendered patronage of though many boyfriend memories were contained within the walls.
He arrived before Mark, both of them straight from work and in their customary dark suit attire. Having ordered the drink in advance, it was waiting on his date when Mark took his seat at the table. “Nice,” he assured Kevin.
As the evening went on, and they went through their courses, Kevin briefed Mark on the latest family phone call, especially the one with his mother where Nora was counting on meeting him.
“I know you’re hesitant on me meeting your family, but I think I can survive the experience.”
“Believe me, better men than you have tried.” Kevin said it with a grin. Truthfully, he couldn’t recall a family dinner that didn’t turn into a major drama alert, proving overwhelming to the romantic partner dragged into it. Even Scotty and him had a major blowout after the visit to the ranch house when the rest of the family and assorted significant others were present.
He missed Scotty; his perspective, but not that tug-and-pull, that idea the southern boy pounded into him that Kevin was always found wanting or in the wrong. He’d been demoralized by Scotty’s attitude, from day one, and then Chad put him through the wringer by desiring him, and making him totally involved in his life and career, dependent upon Kevin’s goodwill, in fact, but as abruptly dumping him as if Kevin was a towel he’d wrung dry.
His boyfriends made him nervous. His family made him nervous.
Was he hallucinating? Oh, no, that was Jason McCallister being shown to a nearby table, the date with him an attractive man, but certainly not Scotty. “Oh.” What an odd coincidence, and not a good one. Of course, Jason’s ministry was in town, so it was altogether likely they did frequent some of the same establishments.
“Oh, what?” Mark turned his head to follow Kevin’s gaze. “Who is it?”
“Jason McCallister.”
“That tall, gorgeous guy? Who’s he with? Scotty?”
“That’s not Scotty. I don’t know who that is. Just wasn’t expecting to meet anyone I knew.”
“I wouldn’t worry about it. It’s a popular place among celebs since the staff is discreet.”
“I know. And it’s not like he’s closeted.”
“You want to go over?”
“Not really, but I should anyway, be rude otherwise. I’ll check it out.” It occurred to him, he’d also rate an introduction to the man with Jason, and Kevin obliquely checked him out. An older man, at least ten years on junior McCallister, well-dressed, not anyone immediately recognizable.
Kevin got up from the table, while Mark remained seated.
“Hi, Jason.”
“Kevin?” Jason rose to meet him. “We must have something in common, this is one of my favorite restaurants.”
“Funny we haven’t bumped into each other before. Hi,” said Kevin, extending his hand to the other man, “I’m Kevin Walker.”
“The one who is not dating Jason.”
“That’s right.”
His hand was taken and held a bit longer than necessary. “If I ever need a lawyer…”
“Guess I can write off this dinner, then.”
“I’m Stuart Mullin, long-time friend of the family.”
At least that indicated no romantic connection. Kevin remained wondering Scotty’s status.
Jason said, “You here with Mark?” He indicated where Kevin had been sitting, his date observing the activity at the table.
“Yeah, another attorney. He’s an entertainment specialist,” Kevin told Stuart.
“Oh, I’m not in that line.”
“Well, I’ll get back.” Kevin offered an inclusive nod to both men then returned to his meal and date. “Not on a date,” he assured Mark, “he’s a family friend.”
“Okay.” It was obvious Mark didn’t care. It had nothing to do with him.
It was a struggle for Kevin to make it through the rest of his dinner, with his line of sight including the handsome Jason McCallister, and his struggle to keep his gaze from returning to that form again and again. It was best when the man clearly made his displeasure with his company known, thereby putting him out of the realm of romantic possibilities, but since the camping trip the man found him tolerable, if not desirable.
To tolerate someone was not to desire them, Kevin kept reminding himself.
He wished Mark would go away, as he was so much on edge the man’s attentions were irritating. “Well, I have an early day tomorrow.” Kevin sought to dissuade his date from assumption of a continuing interlude.
“You sure about that?”
Mark’s sexy slur had him rethinking, fast. Maybe what he needed was a quick fuck; borderline violent. That would certainly turn his mind and attention from Jason McCallister.
On their way out, Kevin gave a beneficent smile in the direction of the McCallister table. “Goodnight,” his farewell taking in both men.
Outside, the cooler air had him rethinking his commitment to the man he was with, but Mark might have sensed his reluctance, for an arm came round him and a hand held his head in place, so their mouths came together. His own embrace turned welcoming, and Kevin said, “Follow me back to mine?” as they’d arrived in separate vehicles.
When Nora Walker called next day and said there was another Game Night on, Kevin groaned. He’d hoped the old tradition had bit the dust. But he owed it to his family to participate. He couldn’t sit it out by resting on information he had, like what cost them the last battle. He’d known Juliet was a Capulet but wanted sister Kitty hanging from the nearest rafters, so he’d allowed the wrong answer to be declared, an answer that cost his family the night. Without having admitted this, he knew his guilt over the debacle, due to his resentment of his sister, meant he owed everyone his best effort from here on.
The night had one family versus another, yet again, only this time with both McCallisters present, the presence of Jason being one of confusion for Kevin, who didn’t expect the man here. At least this time, Kitty Walker didn't make a spectacle of herself greeting her now fiancé, especially since she had that ring on her finger and arrived with the man.
Was Kitty really in love with Robert McCallister? Or was it all too convenient a match? Kevin liked her east-coast boyfriend, the one she broke up with after moving back home. That guy was a contender on Kevin’s list of dream dates, but unfortunately straight. But the senator and Kitty seemed too pat somehow, like those commercials for breakfast cereal or pancakes.
Fortunately they were in the lead, three games in, with new half-sis Rebecca an active participant as she’d gained confidence within the family circle. Maybe she felt she was holding down the fort while Justin, her defender, was in Iraq.
Taking a fortifying break in the kitchen, Kevin was sipping ice tea, when brother Tommy came in.
“I promise not to do a dinosaur,” he said.
“We’re all too hard on each other,” Kevin said. “This game is no game; it’s kill or be killed.”
“At least we survive.”
“How’s Julia?”
“At home.”
“You know, postpartum depression has to be a lot worse when there’s the loss of a baby.”
“I’m being understanding.” Tommy said, “Back into the breaches, Walkers. At least Justin is spared this one.”
Kevin chuckled, finding himself alone again and wondering if his mother had stocked up on that line of herbal teas he’d recommended. That got him inside the pantry scanning the shelves and he was caught off-guard when Robert McCallister walked into the kitchen, and just as obviously didn’t know Kevin was there.
“At least we’re winning. So much better when Kevin keeps his mouth shut.”
Kevin waited, trying not to give his presence away.
“Maybe you’re too hard on him.” It was Jason. “I admit he’s sarcastic.”
“That’s putting it mildly.”
It seemed they were fixing drinks as the ice was clinking against the bucket.
“He’s volatile.”
“Volcanic,” said Robert. “Kitty’s soft-spoken, I don’t see how they’re in the same family.”
“Isn’t he her favorite brother?”
“I guess. He’s the man with the answers. Justin, she plays big sister to, almost a mother, but that young man needs a lot of help. Major therapy. It would be easier on everyone if he helped himself. All three brothers are so different from each other.”
“Makes it easier to tell them apart. So where is Kevin?”
“Kitty left swatches for him upstairs. She broke down on the decorating. Wants to make sure she doesn’t make a mistake.”
“She knows the advantages of a gay brother.”
“The Walker family Olympics…”
“I wasn’t here last time. I missed out on the fun. Gets my blood going.”
“Game Night, or the prospect of seeing Kevin?”
“He’s the only gay man here.”
“I guess you have your own language.”
Kevin's heart missed a beat, but now it settled down again. It was more of the gay versus straight than anything personal.
“You’re not marrying Kevin.”
“If our society were different, it would be Kitty marrying Kevin.”
“She set me up with him.”
“She wants him in a stable relationship.”
“She didn’t know me. I was an idea. But I didn’t mind the setup. The date itself was a disaster. The man is opinionated, and has a temper, no doubt about it. But I’m sure you can keep him in check.”
“The camping was a good idea. We cut him off at the knees. You notice he doesn’t know what to do with himself. He’s biting his tongue half the time.”
“You are marrying his sister. It’s not like he’s a raving lunatic.”
“Between his love for his sister, and his tolerance of me, we’ll keep him out of the Democratic camp, at least for the presidential election.”
Though he should have kept quiet, Kevin stepped out of the pantry. “I wouldn’t count on it.” Then he walked past the stunned pair as if he hadn’t a care in the world.
But he did bite his tongue the rest of the evening, at least as far as personal comments go. Instead, he saved his searing intelligence for the competition.
His sister, he knew he couldn’t dissuade from her course of marrying into a political agenda, but his tolerance for that family and their manipulations hit a clear dividing line. He’d put up with them for the sake of the family – because he had to – but only from a distance.
As an aside, Tommy said to him, “Jason keeps staring at you.”
“So?”
“Seems strange. Did you have another argument?”
“We never had the first.”
It was true the man was staring at him, and those sapphire blues weren’t at all vague about it.
Finally, the cup was returned to the former champs, won back – legitimately – and the visiting team was away, leaving Kevin and the Walkers breathing a sigh of relief mixed in with expressions of exultant victory.
“You ready to go?” a flushed Kitty Walker was asking Robert, which was a relief to Kevin, since that meant Jason would be off again. Besides, he felt like punching Robert McCallister out, and Kitty would have a hard time forgiving him that.
Jason kept staring at him, and Nora was looking between him and her son, so Kevin was gearing himself up for another confrontation, his third of the night. The competition itself, the interaction in the kitchen, and now mom wanting to know what was going on.
“I should be leaving too,” Kevin said, in an effort to forestall her.
“Not yet.” It was her mom tone of voice, which none of the children transgressed.
With the McCallisters and Kitty gone, Nora turned to her sons, as Sarah swiftly departed the premises with her kids in tow.
“Now what’s going on?”
“Something I overheard in the kitchen. Robert and his brother and their attempts to control me. Subvert my will.”
“What?”
“I overheard them talking about my politics, how they’re successful in controlling my negativity towards them. That camping trip was part of it. Their scheme for getting my cooperation, not just in the wedding, but in politics. They’re afraid of me doing what I’m going to do.”
Nora nodded. “Working for the Democrats.”
“There could be something to that.” Tommy was frowning. “You know, Kev, that camping trip wasn’t my idea. It was Robert’s.”
“Why would he want a camping trip with us?”
“I think it was you. Maybe something to do with his brother. Cause when he first mentioned it, I thought it was just him and me, but he was real specific, you had to be there. Frankly, I didn’t know what was going on. Thought I’d spill the beans.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“He convinced me otherwise. Said it wasn’t some nefarious plan to get you into the woods and do away with you. Let me think it was more about getting you and him together to see about mending wounds. I knew you wouldn’t go along with it, so I let you believe it was all my idea. But I thought it was about family. That's where he led me.”
“And what about Jason?”
Kevin could hear the shrug in his brother’s reply. “I supposed the chance to clear the air.” To defend himself from his brother’s indictment, he said, “Look, it hadn’t escaped their notice how quiet you were that last family dinner. Mom even mentioned it. Nor the fact you were basically a disappearing act during the engagement party. Your feelings were hurt, or theirs were, but we all have to be a family and that means finding a way to get along. I saw nothing wrong in being a part of that.”
“Instead it’s all one political agenda. And don’t worry, Tommy, they were just using you.”
Kevin was barely at his apartment door when he sensed a presence behind him and he was swung round. “What?” he barely got out as he was pushed against his opening door and into his apartment. Damn, but why didn't he remember any of that self-defense training course?
After he was literally pushed inside, he was released, and Jason slammed the door after them.
“What are you - ?” Kevin began, but he was pushed again, this time onto the couch, and Jason fell atop him, over him, pushing him into the cushions even as Kevin struggled against the onslaught, finally ceding to the man in confusion as his mouth was captured until he was struggling, but this time to breathe.
Kevin was striving to return the embrace.
Maybe Jason took for granted Kevin was the man-whore his family often joked he was.
He still had this beautiful guy in his arms, one who’d crossed town and sought him out. Stalked him, if it came down to it. It couldn’t be Kevin was the easiest way to pass the time. It had to mean more to Jason than that.
Jason held himself in check only long enough to pull Kevin’s shirt off, then was struggling to divest Kevin of his jeans, until assisted by Kevin himself.
Maybe Kevin thought with his cock; but sometimes that’s what a man was meant to do.
His jeans were pulled down and slid off, and not gently, meanwhile Kevin made for Jason’s shirt, ripping it open so buttons went flying (Jason could borrow one of his, later, to wear home), and his mouth went to suck on one of the bared nipples which taunted him during their time at the lake.
Shortly, though, Jason pushed off him so he could reposition Kevin’s legs, splaying them for access as the younger McCallister hunkered down on the Walker erection.
It seemed they were both nude, having both achieved orgasms, and yet neither had ventured beyond the front room.
A confused and exhausted Kevin said, “Want to go into the bedroom?”
“Sure.” Lest the acceptance appear cold, Jason leaned over and gave a soft lingering kiss to Kevin’s petulant mouth.
In bed, they never rested, instead the relocation only revved them up for round two. Upon that completion, though, they could relax, sated, in each other’s company.
“How about Mark?”
“Who? Oh, yeah, Mark. We were dating.”
“Were?”
“I guess that’s were.”
“That’s good. I didn’t want this being a one-time fling.”
“I didn’t know you wanted this at all?”
“Really? Sometimes I wasn’t sure.”
“You’re kidding.”
“Sometimes I thought you were yanking my chain, getting back at me for ditching you on our first date. Other times I thought you were just as oblivious as you seemed, and that meant you didn’t care. I kept pushing you, making arrangements for us to be together, and nothing was happening.”
“What arrangements? Obviously I know about the camping.”
“Not the whole story. You didn’t hear that part. The idea came from me, and it suited Robert to go along with it, you know why. But my excuse was wanting to get you alone, at least away from some distractions. I hoped my attraction to you would die, or you’d return my attraction. I didn’t expect nothing, which is basically what happened.”
“I wondered why Robert was leaving us alone so much.”
“He didn’t want to, but that was part of the deal, otherwise I was telling you everything, and he’d be circumvented. But there I was, posing in a Speedo, and no reaction out of you. I got more reaction from brother Robert.”
“I had a reaction. I was hiding it.”
“That’s good to know.”
“Didn’t think you liked me. Not that way. Hadn’t any reason to change my mind since your brother said you never wanted to see me again. I know how he feels about me, how he always did. After that date we had, seemed fair to think you’d feel the same way.”
“Stupid, that's us.”
Kevin went to get water, returning with two glasses.
Jason continued. “The camping trip failed, at least as far as my goals were concerned. So I had to find something else. The idea basically fell into my lap. I went to school with a guy who works at the TIMES. It was a bit much being the invisible gay brother, so Robert was going to have to deal with that too. I was basically outing myself.”
So, two birds with one stone? “But why would you put fake info about us out there?”
“To get a reaction. I thought you’d be on the phone with me, we’d be laughing about it…”
“One thing would lead to another.”
“And also get you thinking that way. The BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN reference was pure revenge, though, to get back at you ‘cause we had a romantic setup and you weren’t buying into it. I barely got you alone, and only then for conversation.”
“You were dating Scotty. I wasn’t going to mess up a pairing I’d set up.”
Jason shook his head in consternation. “Honestly, when you did that, I thought you were fixing me up with yourself. I was surprised there was a Scotty. Oh, not that he existed. I’d heard references to him.”
“You thought I was using him, then I’d be the one to show up for the date when Scotty had oh so conveniently canceled?”
“Something like that.”
Kevin scanned the lax figure opposite. “I guess you rate that ego.” His hands followed the trail his gaze seared.
“I never got a thank you for the roses.”
“You sent those?”
“You thought some secret admirer? How about your ego, my friend?”
“No, I thought… Wait.” Kevin struggled to collect his thoughts. “Why send me roses, when you’d a date with Scotty? I mean, he showed up, you knew it wasn’t me.”
“Because I ordered the roses before I knew my date was with Scotty.”
“Wow. Why lavender? I thought it was one of Scotty’s jokes.”
“Oh. So you thought he sent the roses?”
“As a thank you.”
“Red was a little presumptuous. Lavender roses signify love at first sight, or at least attraction. I didn’t realize you wouldn’t get the message, just wondered why you never mentioned them. Then you talked about Mark. You might have assumed they were from him.”
“Lavender, gay, you know. That’s why I thought Scotty. A joke. He never thought I acted gay enough.” Kevin thought about it. “That’s really sweet. And somewhat overwhelming.”
“I know I gave you the impression I was dating Scotty, instead of being friends with him, but I would have made a pass at you, only you mentioned the lawyer you were seeing.”
“How did Robert feel about this?”
“Hated it. I kept reminding him I wasn’t a kid, and this was my choice to pursue this relationship, and I hold him partly responsible we didn’t get together months ago.”
“What do you mean?”
“He told me he told you I never wanted to see you again. I was angry then, he would have known I’d calm down, but he deliberately exaggerated my feelings, because he wanted to keep you away from me. If you’d called, I’d have met you again. When you didn’t, I assumed you didn’t want to.”
“Well, he’s right about something; in comparison to you, I’m probably an unreliable slut. Sex has always been casual for me, and relationships are something I fuck up. He’s trying to protect you.”
“Maybe you made some wrong decisions. Maybe you will again. But that doesn’t mean you stop trying.”
“I’ve always wanted you,” Kevin said. “Shelving that seemed to be the smartest thing, but I wondered how I’d feel with you as a family member. I was getting nervous about that, that I’d fall into some unrequited love thing, and be tortured for the rest of my life. Especially since I haven’t been lucky so far. That’s one reason I latched onto Mark. For convenience, safety, security, to prove I could make a go of it with someone.”
“That’s about how I was feeling, that I kept seeing you, and would, and wanting you without you wanting me. After tonight, when I realized how much worse everything had got, that your perception of me might have changed, and not for the better, I knew I had to do something. Stop thinking and start acting. Sorry for the caveman approach.”
“I appreciate it, actually.” But one thing nagged at Kevin. “So does Scotty know?”
“How I feel about you? I think he guessed. It was all too easy to steer conversations to where you were the only topic. I’d pump him shamelessly for information. He was alternately amused and angry. I’d guess there are feelings for you.”
“Just the frustration we kept trying and couldn’t make it work. Emotionally we were there, the sex was there, but the real world kept pulling us apart. Right guys, but wrong time, maybe? Or wrong guys, but he and I met at a point I was particularly vulnerable, and I needed someone like him in my life. That sort of dependency doesn’t last. It's what they call a rebound. They're not meant to last. Transitions, they're called. Preparation for the one that will last.”
“I hope we have something more solid.”
“Time will tell.”
“When you receive red roses tomorrow, you’ll know who they’re from.”
Kevin groaned. “Oh, god.”
“What?”
“This means THE TIMES is right.”
“Oh-oh.”
That meant that last television interview of the senator’s would be considered deliberately misleading.
THE END