Work Text:
TURN BACK TIME by: Natasha Barry
Posted to SQUIDGE 2007, edited 2023. BROTHERS AND SISTERS, Kevin/Jason. What if that kiss at the engagement party hadn't happened?
Jason was frustrated in his attempts to corner the gay Walker brother into a completely accidental confrontation that would lead to… whatever. The opportunity seemed to arise, only to be taken from him yet again, mainly because his own tipsy relatives kept grabbing at his arm and engaging him in family gossip. As for Kevin Walker, the man appeared to be keeping to himself or sidling among his family members, so his mother and siblings and uncle were the recipients of his total attention.
“Now what?” was the most he heard from those pouty lips as Kevin obviously observed something from afar that was causing him grief, then he turned on his heel and left the room, brushing past Jason with only a tattered, “Excuse me” on offer.
After a moment, Jason elected to excuse himself, from his cousin who was about to purloin his attention, and he followed Kevin into the kitchen, only to find the man apparently seeking shelter in the pantry. Whatever reason would the man have for being there?
As he sauntered casually into the pantry – a man with a purpose – Kevin’s eldest sister, Sarah, was grabbing hold of her brother's attention just as Jason felt Kevin turning to face him. “What is it?” Kevin seemed to be addressing both of them, as Sarah anointed Jason with a cursory nod, and then a breathless, “You won’t believe what Holly just said to me,” and with a slightly puzzled look in his direction, Kevin allowed himself to be pulled outside.
Jason gave up the pretense of searching for something, sighing as he’d been battered down yet again.
He finally knew what he wanted, to be making a connection with this man, hopefully a romantic one, and he was blocked at every turn. Granted a party of one hundred fifty invitees probably wasn’t the best place for a private conversation, but he was growing more desperate by the minute.
When he’d arrived at the Walker household, alongside his brother, they’d been appropriately early, and he thought he’d be able to grab a moment or two of Kevin’s time, but the man appeared busy, keeping company with his sister, Sarah, ignoring his sister, Kitty, and both brothers – the youngest and the eldest – were having dramas on the home front. Jason knew the youngest, Justin, was taking off for Iraq in a few days; and he knew the eldest, Tommy, sacrificed the newborn male so the twin sister could survive. Come to think of it, Sarah’s marriage seemed to have broken up. So this was obviously a family of upheavals taking place, and Kevin seemed oddly at the heart of it. This got Jason taking a closer look, asking his future sister-in-law at one point, “So how come it’s Kevin getting all the attention?”
“Oh, it’s always Kevin. He’s a rock.”
Having overheard, Nora Walker piped in, “Just another example. Look how you two pulled this party together.”
He had to admit the man was organized and detail-oriented, suiting a man in the legal profession, he supposed. But he hadn’t realized the short-tempered, opinionated so-and-so provided the broad shoulders needed to support this rather high-strung family. That would be why Kevin appeared barely tolerating and therefore barely tolerable. No wonder everyone overlooked the caustic remarks and occasional condemnation by the man. Perhaps without him, they’d all crumble upon the next crisis.
The information he was garnering was adding a whole new dimension to how he viewed Kevin Walker, the man he’d shared an extraordinary – but now somewhat humorous – bad attempt at a hookup.
So there was something besides the physical appeal the man offered of striking good looks comprising pale skin, sharp blue eyes and red lips. As well, the man projected an image of complete innocence which was skewered by obvious innate sexiness: it was truly astonishing. And for personality, Kevin Walker was the type of guy, if given the slightest provocation, would convene either a Victorian tea party or perform an erotic striptease. Maybe perform the striptease at the tea party.
His brother was disdainful of the engagement party, but that was because of one unavoidable inclusion. “Unfortunately, Kevin Walker will be there, but you can always duck behind one of us McCallisters.”
“He’s not after me.” Jason wondered if his brother wasn't obsessed with his fiancee’s brother, or at least that low opinion of him.
Just a day earlier, he'd been introduced to Nora Walker, by his brother, while Kevin was “at the office.” The woman was exceptionally kind to him, and he already viewed her as an overtly generous woman. Just look at how she’d welcomed her husband’s child into her own household.
He’d met Uncle Saul, who immediately said upon the handshake, albeit with a grin on his face, “You hate Kevin,” as if it was a source of wonder. He’d frowned. Actually he didn’t hate Kevin any longer, and considered his over-reaction to have been just that. However, if the misconception was out there it certainly explained the coldness in Kevin’s tone whenever they spoke. And they’d spoken quite a bit, arranging the details of the party, conferring with each other and putting it all together at a moment’s notice.
At the venue, where they’d met for the second time, Jason could tell Kevin was confused by him, perhaps disdainful. Then the man turned all business, and Jason admired the take-charge, take-no-prisoners attitude he felt his brother could appreciate.
“I’ll break the news to my mother. I think the house is the best way to go. I don’t think Kitty wanted a fancy establishment engagement party.”
“Neither does Robert,” he said, to remind the man the engagement party celebrated two people joining together, and was not a celebration of Kitty Walker.
Kevin dismissed the comment. “Then he can’t complain.” He returned to business, with the recitation of “Florist, valet, tent, catering – music? Nah, Kitty will prefer records. I can take care of that. I've been stuck listening to that concert all my life.”
Jason was secretly amused. “Which is?” He’d heard from his brother that Kevin said rude things to his sister all the time, and she obviously had an occasionally low opinion of her brother, however you could tell it was all devotion between these two. He had a feeling if asked of Kitty who her best friend was, she’d not only name a family member, but specify Kevin.
“What’s so funny?” As there was no answer forthcoming, Kevin continued. “Light rock, inoffensive. Maybe I should put something else in there just to shake the rafters? Nah. I’ll shelve that until their anniversary.”
Jason noted the man was pleased with himself, but had to confess he was enjoying the show. In a way, he felt sorry his brother didn’t know what he was missing, but Kevin and Robert’s politics were too far apart, and he had to admit if Robert McCallister wasn’t his brother, he wouldn’t be voting for him either. His politics were as gay-liberal self-serving as Kevin’s.
If he’d introduced himself to Kevin as Jason McCallister instead of merely Jason when they first shook hands, it was altogether likely they’d be a long established couple by now.
Shaken by the thought, Jason fought to keep an eye on the list Kevin was compiling, dividing up their chores, influenced by what Jason himself said he could handle on his own. It enabled him to keep a focus on the proceedings, watching that pen scribbling and trying to decipher it.
“I like that you know a florist. My only experience is ordering – or being the recipient of – roses now and then, via the 1-800 FLORIST route.”
“It’s short-notice, but I’m sure my contact,” one of his parishioners, “will be able to come through. We might get a discount by volume.”
His eyes remained on those fingers, as one hand busied itself with scribbling and the other was lifting a cup of coffee to his lips. Kevin’s hands were clean and square shaped. They looked capable of light carpentry as well as cooking up a meal. Kevin Walker had the makings of good-boyfriend material, except for what his brother had told him, his last major relationship ended because of his cheating. But there had been some dates since, the implication being, whether realized by Kitty Walker or not, her brother was, in the words of Robert McCallister, “A whore; tramp; whatever the male version of slut is.” Robert didn’t like Jason anywhere near Kevin, in case Kevin had some near-fatal impact upon him.
“Well done, then.”
Lost in his thoughts, it took Jason a moment to realize what the other man was responding to.
“Here you go.” Kevin passed him information from the pad. “We’ll touch base later today, all right? I wrote my cell down.”
“You’re looking forward to this.” The man's eyes lit with anticipation, making them even more impossibly blue than ever. It was nice to get a glimpse of the charm beneath the brittle facade.
“It’s good to get something done, and anything’s better than that monstrosity,” the curl-tossed nod indicated the convention area whose entrance was behind them. Seated in the restaurant, it had been funny, how Kevin deliberately maneuvered them to a table where they wouldn’t have direct eye contact with “that thing” as he called it.
“Well, here’s my number.” He reached for the same pad and pen, initiating a moment of awkwardness as Kevin ceded them while ensuring their flesh didn’t intersect for a millisecond. Foregoing a comment, Jason wrote it on the pad and dropped the pen upon it, standing up to leave.
The next day, he called Kevin with a progress report, and received one in turn. He offered to meet Kevin at the florist’s to pick out the centerpieces, but Kevin responded with a “Ah, not really necessary, is it?” as he asked if it could be ordered through the web site. Since Jason had in mind the florist stop combined with a fortuitous lunch break, he insisted, “Think we should do it in person, don’t you? So we can see for ourselves the display and color. Off a website, can be deceiving.”
Kevin agreed and met him at the florist, but wasn’t early and didn’t plan on staying late. Again, the two men agreed on the formal arrangements without preamble, surprising them both, until Jason quipped, “Must be that gay gene.” Within fifteen minutes, Kevin was off again, claiming he was due at the office. Jason hadn’t a chance to suggest lunch, so just as well he hadn’t booked a table. He was beginning to realize how retracting a bad blind date wasn’t going to be as easy as he hoped. Then he went to his brother’s office and corralled him for lunch, in the meantime gaining more useful information – gossip – on the happenings within the Walker clan.
“Well, Justin’s headed for Iraq, Sarah’s marriage is about to bite the dust – officially, that is. There seems to be endless complications surrounding that new sister of theirs, whom Justin is particularly taken with.” At this last, Jason’s brows rose. “Nora isn’t dating anyone, though she’s given it a shot a couple of times. Kitty doesn’t like to hear this, but looking at Nora I know exactly what I’m marrying into, which is a very good thing. Nora’s like a lioness with those kids of hers. Oh, and Tommy and his wife, well, you know about that. Hopefully they’ll both make it to the engagement party. And I’m engaged to my Communications Director.”
“You forgot someone.”
“I’d like to,” Robert said. “Oh, well, how specific do you want me to get? Serial dater, can’t keep a relationship going, cheated on his major boyfriend, didn’t even get that chance with his last two. Hates me, of course, hopefully for my politics, but I’m not really sure. On the plus side, he’s the one they all run to. So I guess that says something about his character. And he’s about the most straight-acting gay man you can hope to find, excepting yourself.”
“So neither of us is an embarrassment? I wouldn’t be voting for you either, if you weren’t my brother.”
“Oh, that. You’re not taking a shine to him, are you?”
“Taking a shine?”
“Okay, call me crazy.”
“I wanted to know more what you were getting into.” He kept the major truth to himself, that he needed to know more about what he contemplated taking on.
That evening, he didn’t have an ID on a caller, and he let the call go to voicemail. Unfortunately, in retrieving the messages from the day he found he’d made a mistake. Kevin Walker, of all people, was asking to meet him for drinks downtown or a quick dinner somewhere, just to “finalize things” before they announced their party planning mission accomplished. Cursing himself for all sorts of fool, especially since he’d had Kevin’s number and never programmed the ID into his phone, he glanced at the clock and it was past eight, not likely he’d meet any schedule of Kevin’s. But he rang anyway, offering a distinctly cheerful, “Hi, Kevin, just retrieved your message. Sorry I missed you. How about getting together tomorrow?”
The Kevin that responded was neutral, which Jason knew wasn’t a good sign. “I’m hoping to send you the finalized arrangements. If there’s any corrections, get back to me.”
He couldn’t blame the man… With their history, perhaps Kevin thought he was deliberately avoiding him. Hoping to convince him otherwise, Jason said, “Listen, Kevin, if I’d picked up my messages earlier I’d have met you for sure. I should have loaded your ID into my cell, but I tend to be lax about things like that: my fault.”
“Well, that’s okay.” However, Kevin’s tone was unchanged. “Why don’t I finish typing up what we have and I’ll e-mail you the list of contacts and specs? What’s your addy?”
Within a few minutes, Jason’s incoming signaled he had the document for review. Very precise the information and the layout; suiting an attorney. But nothing on there indicated any reason – excuse? – to contact Kevin anew.
He’d have to hope another idea or opportunity arose.
Now this party was his first opportunity of getting Kevin alone, and it wasn’t happening. Keeping a neutral if pleasant expression plastered across his face was growing exhausting, but the ingrained discipline to deliver a sermon to a sea of bored faces stood him in good graces as Jason circulated amongst his extended family members and that of the Walkers.
Finally, there seemed another opportunity, though it came oddly, toward the end of the evening, when the Walker clan piled into the pool. Though his brother surrendered his staid demeanor to join the clan in the pool, Jason’s gaze lingered on Kevin, from the moment of his cannonball into the pool until with a laughing face he was finally climbing out of it. After a moment, Jason followed Kevin into the house, realizing the man must have gone upstairs, even as the siblings were climbing out and assisting their mother and uncle in doing likewise.
Could he really follow Kevin into the bathroom? Not likely, so Jason cooled his heels downstairs, imagining the spray from the shower hitting the man’s bare body as he stood, then towel drying that pale skin and hair as he climbed into fresh clothing. Or would Kevin re-emerge attired in a robe?
Family members began trooping inside.
First there was a groan. “Oh, my floors." Then Nora appeared to grit her teeth as she and the rest of her family – including Holly and the Walker half-sister, Rebecca – continued upstairs.
Holly was making the comment, “Oh, I hope you have something for me.”
“We’ll find something, don’t worry,” Nora assured her.
What an amazing woman, Jason thought, to treat her husband’s mistress as if she were a member of the family.
“Where’s Kevin,” said Tommy.
The reply came from Sarah. “He’s already upstairs.”
“Clever,” said the eldest son of the Walker clan. “He is too clever.”
Kevin paused at the banister looking down, attired in jeans and a t-shirt (Jason appreciated the view) as his sopping family members trotted up the stairs. “Hope there’s still hot water left,” he quipped as they passed. Then he came down the stairs, and Jason moved to intercept him, but Kevin had his cell phone in hand and looked to be perusing messages. Something seemed to either surprise or worry him, as he frowned, the easy-going smile of earlier erased. Then Kevin moved past him, “Excuse me,” as he headed outdoors.
Jason hoped it wasn’t disastrous, whatever it was, but he wasn’t altogether pleased he’d been dumped at the fence, yet again.
A few minutes later and Kevin returned just as Robert McCallister was coming into the living room alongside his fiancee. “I think I’d better keep a change of clothing here.”
Kitty Walker approved. “Good idea.”
Jason was left shaking his head over it, exchanging a salient look with his kin, even as Kevin ignored his sister and her fiance both. However, the expressive features indicated a lightened mood, so Jason approached him. “Good news?”
“Uh, yeah, kinda, yes. My ex-boyfriend, actually.”
“Which one?”
“An actor.”
Chad Barry, that would be. “He needs a lawyer?” Pathetic, here he was, keeping his figurative fingers crossed.
“I doubt it. Maybe things have calmed down some. He was having a weird time of it, and he and I got caught up in it.”
“So a reconciliation is in the making?”
“Maybe.” Kevin was cautious.
“Good thing our blind date was such a disaster.”
“I guess. I mean, if I was with someone else, I wouldn’t be seeing him again.” The fine lips twisted in a grimace. “Unless he needed a lawyer.”
Twenty minutes later, with the party obstinately proceeding due to the McCallister high energy in abundance, Jason turned upon hearing a screech followed by, “Oh my God, that’s Chad Barry!” That scream was committed by one of his aunts. Women like flies on shit converged on the couple.
Robert McCallister had never witnessed the like, his drawing power tending to be more sedate. “Now I know what it’s like to be an also-ran.”
Jason moved close to peruse the handsome figure. The man was the blond beach boy type he’d seen a little too much of, but he could see why the man was a star. He considered this his prime competition.
“Let’s give them something to talk about, huh?” Chad grabbed the front of Kevin’s t-shirt and brought the brunet in for a mind-blowing kiss.
So that’s how it ended, Jason needing to give up the chase, but finding himself increasingly interested in finding out if Kevin had hooked up with that actor, or if it had only been an attempt at reconciliation that failed. He found himself searching the internet, finding the old news archived on the SKINI MINI and subsequent data, but nothing recent to indicate whether Kevin was a free agent. Of course, Kevin by himself wasn’t a celebrity but his old boyfriend seemed to have dropped off the radar. There were career tidbits on Chad Barry being offered an Indie film role or two. A new series, however, seemed to be out for the actor.
In Jason’s mind, the coffee house first date ended on a wholly different note, begun when Kevin asked him if his sister had tried to get him working for the senator. Instead of giving a flip answer, he’d responded, “I’ll vote for my brother but I won’t work for him.” Which would have led Kevin into something like, “You’re the gay brother my sister was trying to set me up with? I told you she’s relentless. But your politics…” and he’d put in, “I’m Democrat actually,” which would have put Kevin at ease. Maybe to the extent he’d offer a more thoughtful, “Wow, must make it difficult for you. I know, cause I’m going through the same thing with my sister. Her politics and mine – and hers with our mother’s – are diametrically opposed.” There would follow a general political discussion, lots of mutual empathy on loving a sibling one didn’t empathize with, and the horror stories that were part and parcel of that relationship. Then, Jason imagined, they would have forgotten their siblings or put them aside, as they concentrated on their burgeoning romance. That was how it should – and could – have gone.
Then, out of the blue, a week later, the CallerID displayed the name Kevin W and Jason answered with a breathless, “Hi, Kevin. See, updated my cell.”
“Oh, right. Well, wondered if you were still on the market, as in scouting out potential boyfriend material?”
Jason swore his heart gave a thud. “What do you have in mind?”
“Chad – you met him at the party” – actually he hadn’t MET him – “has a friend of his, another actor, and it’s a possible hookup. We could do a foursome, if it’ll make you feel better. And it’s on Chad’s recommendation, if that helps. No coffee shops, wouldn’t want to give you bad memories and have you take it out on this guy.” Kevin chuckled to indicate it was meant as a joke. “I’ve met him; he’s pretty cool, and he’s been alerted to the Senator thing so he shouldn’t blurt anything out.”
“Well, that sounds good, Kevin. When did you have in mind?”
It was almost psychotic, really, to be out on a foursome when his date wasn’t the guy he wanted to be with. But he agreed to the dinner, the time and the restaurant, and was there in place at the precise time. He witnessed the man’s arrival, the one he was meant to hit it off with, as he arrived in the company of both Kevin and Chad. “Wow, sorry to keep you waiting,” said the bright and sunny Chad. “I remember you at the party.” They shook hands. “If I wasn’t hung up on Kevin here…” He let the insinuation drift off, and Jason wondered if he was always like this, and if so, why Kevin was with him. Then he noted the hard stare which flared briefly from the other man, and realized Chad knew he and Kevin had once been a setup, and was using this opportunity to put him in his place. A deliberate flirtation to test Jason’s interest in Kevin? Or to throw Kevin off the track? Or merely to indicate his possession of Kevin? Any or all of it could be true.
Kevin was attired in denim slacks and a black turtleneck, the latter of which really brought out his coloring. Seeing the two men together, Jason was finding Kevin more physically appealing than Chad. As for his own date, he was a very good-looking yet bland sort as only the very good-looking tended to be. For a moment he wondered if he was meant to recognize him, but his date touched his shoulder and said, “The way handsome runs in your family, I might have to start voting Republican.” And in Jason’s mind, the evening went downhill from there.
He kept an ear peeled to the couple’s whispered conversation and noted their intimate exchanges such as looks, snatching morsels off each other’s plates, and hands accidentally brushing but neither pulling away.
A couple of times, fellow diners converged on their table and Chad was asked for his autograph, but Jason’s date wasn’t, which meant he couldn’t be famous, maybe was a struggling actor friend. At least that would explain why he didn’t mind being seen on a date with a man.
Perhaps this new guy would have stood a chance, but for Jason all the sparks he felt were between himself and Kevin, not him and this new guy. Was Kevin feeling anything towards him? Not judging by his behavior with Chad.
At the close of the evening, the pairs split up, with Kevin and Chad trusting Jason and his date to carry on from there.
They were left on the curb.
“It’s not going well, is it?”
It was time he minded his manners. “You want a lift?”
“Nah, I’m within walking distance. Did you want to stop by my place?”
The offer was apparent, and Jason wondered if he’d accept if he didn’t have another man on his mind.
“No, I have to be up early. Another day of the week, perhaps.” He gave a soft smile.
“I know what that means. Still, here’s my number.” A business card was handed over then he left Jason in front of the restaurant, continuing down the street.
There was no phone call from Kevin – or Chad – to inquire what the remainder of that evening entailed.
For the next few days, Jason was in a quandary. Was it possible he only wanted Kevin because Kevin had become that irresistible object? The more disinterested Kevin was, the harder he seemed to be trying for him. “It’s the ones who resist you most want to kiss,” went the lyrics from a George Michael song. However, he had wanted Kevin when they met, and there was no resisting the pull of attraction on either of their parts. So if nothing else, the evening cemented to Jason his unshakable objective at obtaining Kevin at the first opportunity.
Unfortunately, Jason knew it was up to him to contact Kevin or go through his brother or brother’s fiancée to gain more news of that Kevin and Chad relationship.
Perhaps if their reunion was a typical “Kevin failure” he’d be the one to pick up the pieces. A Kevin on the rebound would be better than no Kevin at all.
Since Kitty Walker was out of the question, since she couldn’t be trusted not to betray his interest, Jason decided on brother Robert, in spite of the implied censure from that end. Jason met up with the man at his office. As usual, he’d only called ahead to find out if Robert was there and also if it was convenient for him to stop by. The senator always made time for him, so if it wasn’t convenient, Jason knew Robert would make it so.
“So, what’s up?” as Jason came into the office.
“Nothing you’re going to be happy about.”
“Oh-oh. Come on, give. Or did you want to go somewhere?”
“No, this is private.”
“That bad? Not the family?”
“In a manner of speaking. Do you remember when I was upset at that blind date with Kevin?”
“Why is that in the past-tense?” He added, “I am not going to like this,” as if to himself.
“We’re not dating or anything.” But as the man was about to breathe a sigh of relief, Jason halted it with, “But I’d like to give it a shot.” He qualified, “Unless he’s seeing someone else,” and managed to sound nearly sincere on this last.
“Well, why are you discussing this with me? Isn’t he the one you should be on bended knee to?”
“Hardly that, at least yet.”
“What is it? I mean, you know I don’t approve. He cheated on his boyfriend, he fucks around.” It was apparent the regal figure used the strong language deliberately. “He’s had some boyfriends since, never lasts long. The best of them he treated like he’s an imbecile. So he’s a major fuck-up in relationships, and you can’t depend upon him, and I naturally don’t want you anywhere near him. Jesus, Jason, his own family joke he’s a man-whore, and though it’s a joke, it wouldn’t come up unless there were some truth in it.”
“I doubt they mean that literally.”
“True,” Robert conceded, “as he’s also been described as kind and sensitive. I haven’t witnessed any of that.”
“What did you tell him, after I called you that day?”
The senator leaned back in his luxury desk chair. “I’m not going to pull any punches. I told him you were in no way appreciative of his presence, and that you never wanted to see him again. I also told him he wasn’t good enough for you.”
“That was pushing it and it explains a lot.”
“How do you mean? Has he been rude again?”
“No, I don’t measure on his radar at all.”
“He won’t reject you; he’d be crazy to. You’re a distinct step up from whoever he’s been with.”
“Any word from Kitty on whether he’s still involved with Chad?”
“For a change, I think she’s less communicative with him than usual. Besides, there’s the campaign and our own personal arrangements taking up her time. She knows he’s not exactly thrilled by our marriage, so she’s maintained some distance.”
“Kitty’s all right with me officiating at the ceremony?”
“Of course. I mean, I know it won’t be a Catholic service, but I have been married before.”
“And?” Jason prompted as his brother came to a pause.
“They’re not communicating, but Kitty and the rest of her family are, and from what I heard, when it comes to Chad Barry, well they’re still seeing each other. If there’d been a breakup, I’m sure someone would have been on the blow horn to Kitty by now. Nothing in that family happens without one hundred percent total participation.”
Jason admired the family first attitude, even if it was somewhat intimidating. “Must be like taking on a regiment.”
Robert agreed. “They’re an exhausting bunch.”
They got up to date on some family matters, then Jason took his leave. It was aggravating he’d have to go into this blind, but he received some help when a parishioner of his came to him for advice, and as it bordered on legal issues, Jason was quick to refer him to the attorney Kevin Walker as well as volunteer to accompany the man into the lion’s den.
Jason caught sight of Kevin strolling the high-tech glass corridor in their direction, giving Jason a side-long glance and a nod as he introduced himself with a handshake to the prospective client. He led their way to his office for the consultation.
The men took seats before the desk, Jason impressed with the view, as well as the size of it.
Kevin opened with, “Jason, didn’t realize you were in on this.”
“It was my referral.”
“Okay, Mr. Risen, why don’t you explain to me why you think you need a lawyer.” After a recitation of the facts, Kevin had a summation. “I don’t see where you need a lawyer at this stage, maybe some practical advice, which you can have since you’ve been on the clock since you walked through that door. And that’s to get this man on tape, could be over the phone, could be in person, just get him saying what you’ve told me he’s said, turn it over to the cops and your problem is solved. E-mails can be pertinent as well. But they’re not as effective as a recording of a specific voice initiating or condoning a specific deed. With e-mails you have verification issues as to who the sender is. It becomes a gray area. That's a weapon for an effective attorney. No such thing with video or audio tape, which is verifiable.”
“I thought recordings like that were illegal,” said Risen. “Like that woman who bugged the president’s girlfriend.”
“Not in California, as it changes by jurisdiction. In this state, only one party on a recording has to have knowledge of the surveillance for it to hold up in a court of law. In this case, that would be you. If you get that tape, to progress it further, you’ll need a criminal attorney, to safeguard your position. A civil attorney, which is what I am, wouldn’t do you any good.”
“Well, thanks for the clarification, Kevin.” Jason was relieved on his parishioner’s behalf as the advice was succinct.
“You’re welcome. Is there anything else?”
There wasn’t anything, but Jason took a glance at the photographs atop a shelf in the office as he was leaving. Nothing with Chad Barry in it, he was relieved to note. He turned to Kevin, “I was discussing the wedding with Robert. Want to have lunch to get caught up?”
Kevin shook his head. “I’m sure they’ll manage just fine.”
Since they’d arrived in separate cars and met on the premises, Jason said farewell to Mr. Risen in the parking garage with a promise he’d maintain an interest in events, then he re-entered the building and took the elevator on a return. The receptionist noted him and right away began her brittle smile routine, meant to forestall him with banter, but he signaled her silence with a casual “I forgot something” and he passed through.
His mind was focused on how really annoyed he was getting with how elusive Kevin Walker was proving to be.
Kevin stood up to face him, startled no doubt at his reappearance. But as he said “What is - ?” Jason was already around the desk and had pulled the firm body into his embrace, which included a mouth-numbing kiss that seemed to go on forever. To Jason’s gratification, after the initial shock wore off, Kevin had his arms encapsulating Jason’s form as they each sought to stay glued to the other. Once he was released, Kevin was all about, “I think I’ll take you up on that lunch,” as if he was well-prepared to meet the pace Jason set.
And they left, not caring it was barely ten thirty in the morning.
They got better acquainted over their protracted lunch hour, somewhat like that coffee date that would have lasted a half hour normally but was deliberately prolonged due to the men’s mutual attraction. Jason had almost forgotten how many times they’d adjourned to order up additional lattes, the never-ending craving a convenient excuse to prolong time spent in each other’s company. Then they’d been eager to cement their attraction, but this time they had an actual meal to linger over.
Kevin was more forthright than Jason anticipated.
“My last two relationships, well, I guess yo-yo is how to describe them. After my long-time boyfriend and I broke up, I was pretty shy for anything that meant a commitment. Then I met Scotty through work. He was a potential witness I was interviewing, and it was unprofessional of me, but he did most of the running. But we couldn’t make it work. I’m a snob or he always felt inadequate; whatever. If he was the right guy for me, we certainly gave each other enough grief. My first yo-yo. Then I met the even bigger catastrophe, Chad Barry, another actor, only this one had ostensibly “made it,” unlike Scotty who was working as a waiter. Chad was on a soap, couldn’t make up his mind about being gay. We had a fling that turned pretty serious, and he wanted to out himself, and I wanted him to, and then I didn’t. I mean, he and I were back and forth on the issue so much, and this impacted his career, and us. I was afraid of what it meant if he came out because of us, that level of responsibility over his career and life was frightening. We didn’t know each other that well, and I wasn’t ready to be married, which is what I was afraid it came down to. But I don’t think he ever got me. He wanted me; and he certainly used me. But I wasn’t used to being with anyone who was closeted, so I was pushing him one way, then the other, but when he finally made that step, I wanted to support him. I was going to be there for him. But it was too late, or I guess he’d decided he’d had what he needed from me. It was kind of devastating. But I wasn’t in love with him. But it didn’t make me feel good about myself, or my choices, especially coming after Scotty. In fact, they overlapped, so I guess there was some infidelity there, too, though not really. It was all a bit mixed up. I may have lost Scotty because of Chad, but I probably couldn’t have kept Scotty anyway.”
“About Chad using you… Your support? You were providing the impetus for him to put himself out there as a gay man?”
Kevin sighed as he thought back on it. “It was draining. He was fun, and physically he was a ten in a town of tens. So he fulfilled a fantasy of mine, and I tried to be what he needed. I mean, he chose me, right? There’s lots of hot guys in this town, but he chose me. He came down from Mount Olympus to be with me, and he kept needing me. No one else. Quite the ego trip for him, but me as well. But then there was this other side that was sucking the life out of me, or perhaps I was afraid that would happen, that I wouldn’t be Kevin Walker anymore, but the boyfriend of Chad Barry. The one who forced him out, and now his career would hang in the balance. Leading men are never out in this town; they’re always ducking behind beard girlfriends and wives.”
“But from your side of things, not a good position to be in, the boyfriend. You have to wonder especially when an unknown, no matter how successful in his own field, turns around and makes it with someone famous. There’s going to be lots of envy, and lots of questioning. What are the motives? What do you bring to the relationship? Have you been up for sale? What do you have – the not-famous guy who is apparently dependent on the famous one – that keeps the other guy with you? The boyfriends of the rich and famous always seem to be cashing in on the other guy, or that’s what people think. Like, what does famous guy’s boyfriend put up with, and for what? Seems it would have to be money. Maybe you weren’t looking to be the “boyfriend” everyone would be questioning the motives of.”
“That’s a pretty good understanding of the situation. I've also heard he wasn't the real catch. I was. His career's on the down slide, while I'm a partner in a law firm. As an actor he's got competition with younger, hot guys always in the queue. Outing himself, maybe seeking gravitas along with his freedom, but he hurried it along.”
“I have to listen to a lot of stories in my line of work.”
“I imagine. Are you held to a vow of silence like a confessional?”
“Unfortunately. I can be somewhat vague, and therefore unspecific.”
There was something troubling Kevin. “If you’d been wanting to see me, just to straighten things out, you could have done something less dramatic than jumping me in my office.”
“Desperation level. I tried to get you alone at the engagement party; you know how well that turned out. Then there was Chad showing up, which indicated you might be reconciling with him.”
“I think we both needed proper closure. It took us a while to work it out.”
“You’re not seeing him anymore?”
“I thought I was seeing you.”
“I hope so. But look, Kevin, in spite of my jumping your bones earlier, I’m a pretty traditional type of guy. I don’t want you getting the wrong impression.”
“That’s okay. I can use some tradition in my life.”
“So there’s not some other person from your past about to jump out of the woodwork?”
“Is that what this is about? I can assure you it wasn’t infidelity on my part or theirs that broke up Scotty and me or me and Chad. At least that phase of my immaturity seems to be over with.”
“That would make things a lot less complicated. I’m a one-man-at-a-time kind of guy.”
“My Walker life is complicated,” meaning his family, “but my Kevin Walker life can use some uncomplicating right about now.”
“That’s good. I wasn’t sure how you were taking the minister thing.”
“It was a surprise. I guess a surprise to everyone in my family. Still, no big deal. I’m not a Satan worshipper, though they do throw the best parties. And you’re not a Republican?”
With relief, Jason was able to ease Kevin’s conscience with a heartfelt no. However, “I am going to vote for my brother.”
“Oh, that’s nothing, my sister is going to marry him.” Kevin sighed. “I might have tried getting you alone before, but I kept making such a bad impression, I gave up. And then I thought you despised me. And maybe your brother was right, and I wasn’t good enough for you. I either have the right guy and screw it up, or am attracted to the kind of guy I can’t hold onto. I figured you for the latter.”
“I didn’t know Robert was that hard on you.”
“Doesn’t matter, does it? I’m not lax on him. But he’s right; you wouldn’t have welcomed my call.”
“Not after the first couple of days.” Jason laughed. “But after that…”
“Then we’ve wasted weeks.”
“Maybe. Maybe not, if the time allowed you the opportunity for that closure with Chad.” Regrettably, Jason felt it was time someone pay attention to the hour, and he glanced at his watch. “So how long is your lunch?”
“I need to be back by one. Fortunately you got me in a gap between appointments. I normally keep the morning open. There's always filings or last-minute requests for consultations."
That meant they still had time. As Jason worked on finishing his rapidly cooling meal. “Robert is real upset I’m here propositioning you.”
“Is that what this is?”
“Well, to Robert that’s what this amounts to. He thinks all gay men are sluts except for his brother, and I’m certain he has me on a pedestal somewhere, or thinks I just come out for visits. Maybe he convinces himself I’m virgin or going through a phase.”
“That’s worse than I thought.”
“He told me what he said to you, about me not wanting to hear from you. I wouldn’t have hung up on you – after that first day or two. I was looking forward to seeing you again. Was disappointed you didn’t call. Then I was hopeful we’d meet up, if by accident. That’s why I was less surprised at seeing you again, whereas you were obviously unprepared to see me.”
“I wrote you off,” said Kevin. "And it's not like my life hasn't been complicated lately."
“I think our siblings went too far at getting us together and then keeping us apart. But I’m angry with Robert and he knows that. I hadn’t intended him to speak to you about that day. Let alone for him to say the things he said.”
“You’re talking about your brother so you can rile me up.”
“I like you riled up. You’re sexy that way.”
“He does have a better control over his temper than I.”
“That’s some compliment. Give him time, and he’ll find something good to say about you.”
“Now this is where I ask about your past.”
“Some involvements, nothing so heavy I’ve ever lived with a guy. Naturally my career choice makes that kind of decision less casual for me than for some of the guys around here. And I have less chances at hooking up, as I don’t like the fast life that a lot of guys my age take as a right. No threesomes; no private porn collection; no casual hookups in WeHo. A Republican family connection doesn’t help either.”
Kevin laughed. “If you were Republican, I wouldn’t give us a shot. We wouldn’t stand a chance. I have enough arguments with my sister, and I can’t dump her, we’re blood. This McCallister, Walker connection is not made in heaven.”
“We’ll see, on both of them.”
THE END