SquidgeWorld Archive

Chances Lost
by Lady Midath

The tension in the car was thick enough to slice through with a blunt knife. Alex sat in the back seat, still handcuffed, although they had pulled over and taken them off long enough to allow him to pull on a shirt and thick pullover. After all it would not look good for the Assistant Director of the FBI to bring back the man they were supposed to be protecting half frozen and suffering from hypothermia.

Mulder sat next to him, silent and brooding, casting the younger man a troubled glance every now and again, but Alex sat, as cold and still as if he had been carved out of stone.

Skinner made the detour to the vet's, allowing Mulder to speak to Dr Owens. Natty' recovery was slow, she had sustained some internal damage as well as a broken hind leg, but she was on the mend.

Mulder had been allowed to visit her, patting her through the bars of the cage that she was in while she made her recovery. She had purred weakly, pleased to see her second human, rubbing her head against his hand. But it was clear that it was Alex she wanted.

"It's okay Natty girl." Mulder said softly as he stoked her soft fur. "I'll come back and get you as soon as you can travel, that's a promise...okay?"

Natty meowed plaintively as Mulder turned and walked back into Dr Owens office.

The elderly vet looked up from his old fashioned ledger, giving the younger man a smile. "That's one tough little lady you and your friend have there." He said. "Most cats don't pull through those kind of injuries, their bodies are just too fragile, they usually go into shock and die. She's a very lucky lady indeed."

"Yes, she is." Mulder replied.

"And how is your friend, get himself patched up all right?" Dr Owens asked.

"Yes, he just need a couple of stitches." Mulder replied. "Now about the bill."

"Ah yes." Dr Owens pulled the ledger closer to him. "Here it is, now for the surgery and anesthetic, and the fact I had to call my nurse in to assist. The antibiotics and she's going to have to stay here at least a week for observation, three hundred and eighty dollars should cover it."

Mulder swallowed hard, his face visibly paling. "Uh, do you take credit cards?"

After the bill had been settled, Mulder explained that urgent business summoned both himself and Alex back to DC.

"I will be back within a week to pick her up though." He assured the doctor, who nodded.

"That won't be a problem young man." He replied. "Like I said, I would have to keep her that long anyway, some vets push 'em in and out like they are on an assembly line or something, but not me, I like to make sure all my patients are healing up properly."

Mulder nodded then offered his hand to the old man, who took it in a surprisingly strong grip.

"Well take care young fella, you and that young man of yours, and I'll be seeing you in a week's time."

Mulder had to repress a smile at the 'you and that young man of yours', then the smile faded, was Alex still his 'young man'? Not wanting to think about it, Mulder bade the vet good-bye, and left the surgery.

Skinner, Scully and Alex were still sitting in the car waiting for him. He climbed into the back seat and Skinner started the car, heading back towards the city once more.

"How's Natty?" Alex broke the tense silence, his concern for her overriding his fury at being handcuffed and forcibly taken back to DC.

Happy just to hear him speak, Mulder replied. "She's fine Alex, Dr Owens says that she is making a full recovery and that we will be able to take her home in a week... I paid the bill." He finished somewhat lamely as Alex turned to stare out of the window at the scenery rushing by.

"Thanks Mulder." Alex replied coldly. "I promise I'll give you the money back as soon as I can."

No more Fox, it was back to Mulder now, just great, he thought as he sat back feeling the warmth of the vinyl through the thick material of his jumper. Skinner had the car heater up full blast. Then no longer being able to stand the silence, he spoke to Scully.

"How are my fish going?"

She turned her head to give him a smile. "They are just fine Mulder, I have been going to your apartment everyday to feed them just like I said I would."

"Thanks Scully, I owe you." He replied with a grin.

"Mulder if I had a nickel for every time you said that..."

"I know, I know." Mulder said. He glanced over at Alex again, he was still staring out of the car window, his face hidden from view.

*//Oh Alex, please talk to me.//* Mulder silently pleaded. *//Please let me know that you still want to be with me...please.//*

But Alex sat stiff and silent, unrelenting in his anger and his grief.

TWO

"This is where you are going to be staying until further notice." Skinner explained as he unlocked the door to Alex's new home, at least for the time being.

Alex stepped into the room, looking around, then turned to the bigger man, holding his cuffed hands out in front of him.

"Are you going to take these off now?"

Skinner gave him a grim smile. "Are you going to be any more trouble?"

Alex shook his head. "No, I won't be."

"Okay then." Skinner pulled the key out of his pocket and unlocked the cuffs, taking them off the slender wrists of the younger man standing in front of him.

"Thanks." Alex said gruffly as he rubbed at the faint red marks on his wrists. "So this is where I'm going to be staying from here on in, is it?"

"Until it's safe for you, yes." Skinner replied. "I know it's not as nice as the cabin, but it's a lot more secure. You'll be comfortable here, and Agent Mulder will still be assigned to protect you."

"That's no longer necessary Skinner." Alex said with a coolness that cut through Mulder's heart. He and Scully had entered the small safehouse apartment right behind Skinner and Alex, listening to the exchange between the Assistant Director and the ex-Consortium operative..

"I'll decide what's necessary and what's not." Skinner replied in full AD mode now. Alex's face flushed, he felt exactly like he did the day he had joined the the X Files as a young and very green agent, having to report to Skinner nearly every day. It was though he had taken a step back in time.

"I told you Krycek, the less people know that you are here, the better. Besides Mulder has already been assigned and I see no reason to change that now, unless you have a specific objection of course."

*//One that you'll just ignore of course you prick.//* Alex thought bitterly, but aloud he said. "Yeah, yeah, okay whatever."

"Good, as long as it's settled then." Skinner said, satisfied. "You'll stay here as long as we deem it necessary, you are not under arrest, but we need to keep you as safe as possible so you understand that you are not permitted to come and go as you please, anything you need will be provided for you, all you need to do is ask."

Alex nodded, the expression on his face was positively grim. At least at the cabin he had the illusion of freedom, but here in this tiny bland looking little flat, there was none at all.

"There are two bedrooms, you will be assigned one and Agent Mulder will be assigned the other." Skinner continued, seemingly unaware of the tension that had descended on the room.

"Oh and one more thing Alex." He had returned to using Alex's first name again. "You can't keep any pets here, I'm sorry but the safe house here just isn't equipped for it."

Alex said nothing, wrapping his arms around himself as though he were cold, he wandered over to the heavily barred window, gazing out into the snow covered courtyard below.

"Alex..." He heard Skinner say softly behind him. "This place isn't a prison, you know that... don't you."

Alex gave a stiff nod, his face still turned turned away from the three of them.

Skinner walked over to where the young man stood and unable to think of anything else to say, he reached out and gave Alex what he hoped was a reassuring pat on the shoulder, then he turned and after a brief word to Mulder, left the apartment with Scully in tow.

THREE

"Well, here we are." Mulder said jovially as he sat down next to Alex, the younger man said nothing. He was seated on the low couch, his eyes glued steadily to the television.

It had been over three hours since Skinner and Scully had left them both alone in the safe house apartment and in that time Alex had not said one thing to Mulder and the silence was starting to drive him crazy.

"Hey, you know something, I'm starved." He said, changing tactics. "How about I order some pizza for the both of us. Something with extra cheese, how does that sound."

Nothing, not even a shrug.

"Okay, pizza it is, and some coke, or beer, what would you prefer?"

"Whatever." Alex replied shortly, eyes still on the tv screen.

Mulder sighed inwardly, okay, this was going to be tough but he was determined to break through Alex's hostility no matter what.

"I'll order the pizza." He reached over and picked up the phone, dialing the code to get an outside line.

Alex sat leaning against the arm of the couch, uncomfortably aware of Mulder's proximity.

He had been trying to avoid conversation with Mulder as much as possible, but it was not easy, the confines of the apartment making it difficult, if not downright impossible to avoid having to deal with other man. And to make things worse, it seemed that Mulder was intent on making Alex acknowledge him no matter what.

He listened, bemused as Mulder spoke into the phone, ordering what sounded like enough food to feed an army.

"It should be here soon." Mulder remarked after he placed the handset back down.

Alex nodded, then biting his lower lip, turned back to the television, trying to lose himself in some inane documentary about some long dead poet.

Mulder sat beside him, watching the screen, a small crease furrowing his brow as he tried to concentrate on what was being said. The narrator, a small dry little man spoke in a clipped British accent, pointing out the finer points on poetry technique back in the eighteenth century. He stole a sidelong glance at Alex. Surely he could not be interested in this.

He noticed how stiff and straight the younger man was sitting against the couch, carefully keeping a space between himself and Mulder.

With a sigh, he got up, may as well let Alex have the couch to himself. He wandered over to the same window that Alex had been staring out of before, noticing that the snow had started again outside. It was dark now and the brightly lit courtyard glittered, the snow transforming the usually dreary concrete covered space into something out of a child's fairy tale book.

"It's started snowing again." Mulder said in a half hearted attempt to try and draw Alex into a conversation once more. Alex grunted, eyes still fixed on the screen.

"Looks like it's really set in."

Another grunt.

Suddenly Mulder felt a real wave of anger flow over him. How dare Alex blame him for all this. Was it his fault that the AD decided that the cabin wasn't safe for them any more? Was it his fault that Natty had gotten hurt? Was it his fault that they'd had to leave her behind? Damn, but he was not going to be ignored like this any more.

He had to fight down the sudden urge to just simply storm over to the couch, drag Alex up by his arms and shake him until his teeth rattled, until Mulder saw something in those green eyes something other than sullen contempt...and blame.

Then just as suddenly as the rage had come...it fled, leaving him feeling empty and bereft. Who was he kidding? It was his fault that those goons had broken into the cabin, he had been so busy seducing Alex that he had done something completely unforgivable in any halfway decent agent. He had let his attention lapse and those bastards had been able to take out the alarm system and get in through the backdoor that by rights, should have been locked.

*//Let's face it boys and girls.//* He thought bitterly. *//If you had been thinking with your head instead of your dick, none of this would never have happened.//*

He had fucked up, that's all there was to it, he had fucked up royally.

These miserable thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a sharp knock at the door. One of the guys on security was at the door, a young and rather nervous looking pizza boy with a severe case of acne was standing beside him, clutching a couple of pizza boxes and a six pack of coke.

"This order for you Agent Mulder?" The guard asked. Mulder nodded, then after paying the kid, took the food and went back inside.

Without a word, he dumped the food onto the coffee table in front of Alex, then headed to his bedroom. Alex looked up, frowning, then glanced down at all the food. It smelled good, but somehow he couldn't seem to work up any appetite for it.

Getting up off the couch, Alex switched off the television set and walked over to where his room was, leaving the pizza and garlic bread cooling on the coffee table.

FOUR

Scully changed the bandage on Alex's left side, checking the small neat row of stitches. She examined them, making sure that they were holding the wound together and that there was no sign of infection at all.

"Well everything looks okay." She said as she replaced the bandage. "And those stitches can be removed in the next couple of days, as long as you don't tear them again."

"I didn't tear them deliberately." Alex said with a smile. "I just have this thing about being shot you know...I really hate it."

Scully spared him a rare smile, then peeled off the latex gloves that she had put on in order to check Alex's wound. She tossed them into a nearby trash bin, then packing away her equipment, closed the medical bag.

She looked over at Mulder, who was leaning against the door that led into the small but serviceable kitchen.

"All done here." She said, cheerfully enough. "I can declare Alex to be officially on the mend, barring anymore incidences with hired assassins that is.

Mulder nodded. "Good." He said, his voice carefully non committal. Scully gave him a sharp glance, then turned back to Alex again.

"Just make sure you keep that bandage dry, perhaps you could use some cling wrap to cover it when you take a shower."

"Okay." Alex replied, already tired of the subject of his injury. "I'll do that.

"Okay then." Picking up her bag, she turned to her partner again.

"I have to get going Mulder, I have some paperwork I have to catch up on, but I'll call in later, see if either of you need anything."

"Great." Mulder replied. Scully frowned, she knew that he could be monosyllabic at the best of times, but this was getting ridiculous. Her gaze traveled from her partner to Alex, then back again. Well since neither seemed to be forthcoming about anything, there was nothing she could do.

"I'll see you later." With that, she headed to the door, closing it firmly behind her.

Both men watched her go, then Alex took his place on the couch, opening a book, something he had found on the bottom shelf of the bookcase in the corner of the room. It was something by V.C Andrews, not too bad actually, enough that he was able to bury himself into the story and thereby effectively block out Mulder's constant presence.

Mulder took his place at the small round dining table that sat at the far end of the room, an attempt to try and turn that part of the apartment into a dining area, but the diminutive size of the room defeated the purpose, and the table only ended up looking clumsily out of place.

He had decided to set up his lap top computer on the table since neither of them used it for for eating their meals there. They both tended to eat alone in their rooms, avoiding direct contact with each other as much as possible.

Mulder logged on to the Internet in order to check his e-mail. Signing in, he noticed that there were the usual messages from various other agents and a couple from the Lone Gunmen.

Curious, he was about to open the first message, when his cell phone buzzed.

Taking it out of his jacket pocket, he flipped it open. "Mulder speaking."

"Ah, Mr Mulder, it's Dr Owens here." The familiar voice on the other end said.

Mulder frowned, feeling a trickle of unease shiver through him.

"Oh, hello." Mulder said, glancing towards Alex who seemed to be completely immersed in his paperback now. "What can I do for you?" *//Please don't let this be anything bad about Natty.//* He prayed inwardly.

"I have some...um...unfortunate news I'm afraid." The dry voice continued.

Mulder clutched his cell phone to his ear. "What would that be?"

"Your cat, Natasha...she's gone."

"Gone, what do you mean she's gone?" Oh shit. Mulder was aware of Alex's eyes on him now, he had set the book to one side and was watching him intently.

"Well, just that Mr Mulder, she's...gone, vanished."

"Van... you mean she's GONE?" Mulder almost yelled into the phone. He watched as Alex got up off the couch and walked over to where he was sitting. The younger man's face had gone suddenly pale.

"Yes, I went to check on her this morning and I found her cage empty, I think someone has taken her, the lock on the cage door was broken." Dr Owens told him, the old man sounded rather distressed now.

"I thought you meant she had died." Mulder told him. He looked up at Alex who was standing in front of him, chewing at his lip worriedly.

"Fox..."

Mulder cut him off. "Have you informed the local police of the break in?" He asked, he was rubbing his forehead with the tips of his fingers, trying to figure out who the hell would take a cat...and why.

"Yes, of course I have, the strange thing is though, I can't see anything else missing." Dr Owens continued. "By what I can see here Mr Mulder, I think they only took your cat."

"Fox, what the fuck is going on, is it Natty?" Alex asked, his fists clenched at his sides. "Come on, please tell me." He was almost pleading now.

"Okay, look Dr Owen, I'll come straight up there, hopefully we should be able to get to the bottom of this." With that, Mulder cut the connection.

"What's happened to Natty?" Alex was just about yelling now, frantic with worry.

Mulder turned to him, not knowing how to tell him. As gently as he could, he told Alex what the vet had told him over the phone.

Alex listened grim faced, then nodded. "I'm going with you."

"No Alex, you can't, I'm not supposed to go..."

"I'm going Fox and that's all there is to it." Alex replied, his voice taunt with emotion. "She's my cat Fox, I need to find her and make sure she's all right. You are not leaving me behind."

Mulder stared at Alex for a long moment, then he sighed. "All right then Alex, but you realize Skinner is going to kick my butt over this...don't you?"

Alex gave him the warmest smile since they had arrived back at DC. "I promise I'll kiss it better for you, but right now we have to find Natty, and kill whoever it was that took her."

Mulder smiled back at him, despite the worry he was feeling over Natty. "Okay then, let's go."

END OF PART SEVEN