Work Text:
The Fools We Are As Men
By Ragna
(WritingGoddess@aol.com)
I think it was the scene between Spike and Angel that just took place that got her started drinking. I mean, I'd never seen Cordy drink before, but I assumed she was a lightweight, and for once making an assumption didn't make me out to be an ass.
Anyway, the green man with the horns nodded towards me. It was almost a full moon and I was feeling...wolfish. And depressed. And this song was perfect.
Watching Cordelia drink shot after shot of tequila, I completely missed the first verse of the song. I caught the chorus, though...that was the most appealing part of the song.
"You're not in my mind, don't need you. Whatever love I can find, I won't need you. With my emotional life."
God, she looks so...sad. Just like Willow did, the first time I left. I miss Willow so much, but I guess she doesn't miss me as much.
"Aimless dreams chase in my heart, feeling like a loser in an unknown game. Walking just a fool in the backyard, getting wounded by the timeless jealous flame. Touching my heart like a silver knife, as if drawn in a newsprint cartoon. Yelling for love! While dancing on a white moon."
My heart really isn't in the song. I finish it up quickly and go to Cordelia. I wasn't really a friend before, but I was close, and...maybe she wouldn't mind a person who just wants to listen.
"Willow? I mean, Cordelia?"
I can't believe I called her Willow. Cordelia burst into tears, looking up at Oz. "I...I'm sorry. Oz, it's been a while." She wiped her eyes on her sleeve. "How are you?"
"Depressed. You?"
"Same." She patted the seat next to her but, in the process, knocked her tequila shot all over my pants. "God, I'm such a klutz."
"It's okay." I grabbed some napkins and patted at the wet spot. "Cordelia, what's wrong?"
She looked at me for a moment, then let it all out. How Angel had fired them earlier in the evening, how Lindsey changed sides and Angel hired them back at that point, how Wesley had this girlfriend and how she felt so alone.
I didn't realize so much was wrong.
"You know what? I wanna sing a sad song. I wanna sing a sad song by Merle Haggard." She looked at the karaoke listing and shrugged. "No Merle Haggard songs. Pity. Shania Twain, then."
She flagged the green man down and handed him the slip of paper. "Lorne, next, please."
"Okay, doll." He looked at me, like I should do something. I had no idea what to do!
Cordelia smiled at me and grabbed my thigh, bringing my attention to her again quickly. "I wanna go home with you, Oz." Her hand moved up my thigh a bit. "I don't wanna be lonely anymore."
"Cordelia, I...oh, man."
Lorne looked over our way just as the song was ending. "And up next, the lovely Cordelia."
She stumbled up on stage, and it was really painful to watch. She took the mic and looked at the words. "Together, midnight in summer, the air's so much warmer, falling in love under starlight, holding on so tight, together. I won't leave you lonely tonight, I want you to hold me all night, it's gonna be alright, I won't leave you lonely tonight."
And then she just started to cry. And I started to cry because she looked so pathetic and miserable. The other guy who came in with her, I think he was Gunn, nudged me and offered my the corner of his shirt. I wiped my eyes before remembering there were napkins on the table.
"Hey, man. Look." Gunn pointed to the stage, where the new guy, Lindsey, was scooping a sobbing Cordelia up and rocking her in his arms. "Maybe he's an all right guy after all."
"Maybe." I looked at this guy. "I'm Oz. Knew Cordelia in high school."
"I'm Gunn. Work with her, sort of."
I nodded, then gestured to her empty seat. "Want a drink?"
"After tonight? Definitely."
"Hey, at least there was a bar brawl that got stopped by a chick hopping on the bar and singing karaoke."
"Naw, it was the lawyer singing karaoke that stopped an impending bar brawl tonight." Gunn grinned. "It's been a weird day."
"Yeah, it sure has."
END