Work Text:
The Child Is Gone
by Angelchase
lifeisbittersweet@yahoo.com
http://www.geocities.com/lifeisbittersweet
Thank you for coming back. It's been hell here. The world fell to pieces, to quote a cliché. I've said it before. I have never had anyone so helpless being totally dependant on me. And I've failed him. The reasons? You asked me not to blame it on Wesley. You're right. I shouldn't. I'm the only one to blame. I shouldn't have trusted anyone with him. No one. Ok, maybe only you. I see everyone being sympathetic to me, and I feel their pain. But I feel your agony. And I feel your remorse. I know you blame yourself too. I'm so good at guilt, I know can even sense it. You think if you had been here, things would have been different. I don't know. I am tired of all the ifs, the would haves... Connor is gone. The lost is unbearable. Or at least it was, until you came along. I seek for comfort in you, even if you are as empty as me. But out of two nothings we make one something... Trying to find a way to get him back, to feel his laughter fill our hearts. The memories of him we share are the only thing giving us hope right now.
I watched you hold his teddy, and I saw the tears run down your face. I felt my own freezing my cheeks. It's so cold in here. And you laughed. A prohibited laugh, remembering how he would drop the teddy on the floor only to place his tiny hands next to your face, trying to grab your silky hair. 'Sometimes he pulls too hard'. Thanks for sharing the memory. It's all that gives us hope now that our child is gone.
Darling, give me
Your absence tonight
Take the shade from
The canvas and
Leave me the white
Let me sink in the
Silence that echoes inside
And don't bother
Leaving the light on
'Cause I suddenly feel
Like a different person
From the roots of my soul
Come a gentle coercion
And I ran my hand
O'er a strange inversion
A vacancy that just
Did not belong
The child is gone
Honey help me
Out of this mess
I'm a stranger to myself
But don't reach for me
I'm too far away
I don't wanna talk
'Cause there's
Nothing left to say
So my
Darling, give me
Your absence tonight
Take all of your sympathy
And leave it outside
'Cause there's no kind
Of loving that can
Make this all right
I'm trying to find
A place I belong
And I suddenly feel
Like a different person
From the roots of my soul
Come a gentle coersion
And I ran my hand
O'er a strange inversion
As the darkness
Turns into the dawn
The child is gone