Work Text:
Humorous deathfic: Told you that a squirt gun could kill you!
by Josette Grover
"Okay boys, want to tell me what happened?" Horatio Caine asks, standing in front of his team who are alternately staring at the body covered by a sheet in the middle of the hallway, desperately looking everywhere but the others, or silently snickering.
"I'm waiting!" Horatio says again. He'd only been at the budget meeting an hour, how the hell had this happened?
"It's all Wolfe's fault!" Eric says.
"Hey, you weren't trying to stop me." Ryan yelps, pointing a finger back in Eric's direction. "He started it H, it was all his idea."
"Since I'm not going to get a straight answer from either Eric or Mr. Wolfe, perhaps one of you can tell me what happened?" H says, turning to look at Calleigh, Frank Tripp, and Alexx.
"The boys were bored since there haven't been any new cases in four days." Calleigh says rolling her eyes. "Somehow Eric and Ryan were talking about toys, the next thing I hear is a loud thud and come out of ballistics to find Stetler on the floor. I called Alexx, but he was already gone."
"What happened?"
"I didn't know he was there H, I swear it." Eric says. "Ryan had read something somewhere about 'you can't kill somebody with a squirt gun' and I said, bet you could if it was frozen solid and you chucked it at somebody's head. . . " Horatio moans, holding his head. "We were performing tests in one of the spare labs throwing the frozen gun at a ballistics dummy, hoping we'd get enough information for a journal article when Rick opened the door and stepped right in the way."
"We had the warning signs up and the lab was locked." Ryan says. "He shouldn't have been in there."
"Then it's his own fault." the Chief of police says, turning around and walking off. He can be heard muttering, 'well, at least you can say you used a real dummy in your tests.' as he walks away.
"Clean up the mess boys." Horatio says, turning around and heading for his office for aspirin. "You'll be too busy filling out paperwork to be bored any more." He grins as Eric and Ryan moan behind his back
end