Work Text:
DISCLAIMERS: Not mine Guv, honest they're not.
TITLE: Exhibit RH1
AUTHOR: kel but Claire's been nicked for incitement
PAIRING: Stamp/Quinnan
RATING: G (suffer...) but there's a sequel of sorts.
COMMENTS: Don't ask. PLEASE don't ask.
FEEDBACK: gnarr... oh all right, twist my arm why don't
you. bessie@goldweb.com.au
This is down to me an' Claire and we'll explain later.
Probably.
=====
From: DC.Carver
Sent: Friday, 27 November 1998 03:40
To: Steve.and.Claire.EYES-ONLY
CC: Mistress Tracey
Subject: Attn PC Loxton c/o Claire: Tape Transcript as
promised
>> One more thing, I hope you received the video camera in
>> working order. It
>> took me ages to find it. Would you believe that Tony and
>> Dave had it?
>> Actually, I never checked, what was on the tape? (Do I
>> want to know?...)
Me again.
Got G. to go over this this afternoon, shot-log it. Well, it
gave him something to do. And I thought my handwriting was
bad.
Don't worry, Reg typed it up so it should be legible. Excuse
The jargon, I think he's half-way through some kind of
correspondence course in media analysis.
Don't suppose you have a video capture card on that dinky
machine of yours, Steve? We could have Screensaver of the
Month here.
Later
Jim
====
TRANSCRIPT TAPE RH 1
0000 static
0013 Garden path, cobblestones, out of focus. Muffled voices
in background.
0020 Shot out of a window, overlit. Birds in background.
0022 static
0039 Long shot, small bedroom. Fuzzy yellow light, over-
exposed, in one corner of the room. Makeshift brick and
plank bookshelf on the right, with one sad-looking indoor
plant drooping over the edge. Old, tatty Professionals
poster on the wall, black and white. Torn corner of football
poster just visible in upper left frame (can't see which
team).
Hastily made double bed disappearing off left of frame.
It's all a bit fuzzy, really.
Knocking, whirring sounds can be heard, then static, then
-- ...ink I've got it now. Do me a favour, Tone, get that
off there, will you?
-- What?
Fuzzy hand blocks out picture, waving at the potplant.
-- Over there.
-- Oh, I see. It's not showing up on the monitor.
-- Come on.
-- You sure you've got this set up correctly?
-- Just get on with it, ok?
Shape moves in front of camera. Camera attempt to track it,
has screen blocked out because it's zooming at the same time.
-- Shit!
Zooms out, very fuzzy, back in, focuses on a hand trying to
disengage a very limp sock from the potplant. Hand jerks
back, camera autotracks focus, refocuses slowly.
-- There's thorns on this!
-- Well it's a cactus, any fool can see that.
-- You might have told me.
Extreme close up of hand being rubbed. Focus is very sharp,
to the point where skin texture is visible.
-- That hurt. What are you doing with a cactus anyway?
-- Doesn't need watering, does it.
Hand manages to disengage sock, body starts to move away.
-- No, hang on, stay there.
Shape stabilises. Camera tracks up to light, out of focus
blob, zooms in and out, focuses, eventually. It's Tony's
face, almost invisible due to backlighting from the lamp.
-- They do. Need watering.
-- Whatever. Reg gave it me last Christmas. Look, just stay
there, ok, I think I've got the...
Click; picture focuses, sharply.
-- There. I knew there was an auto-thingummy on here
somewhere...
Extreme CU Tony smirking
-- CID must love you.
-- Shut up. Right, now go and sit down.
Tony moves slightly to the left and disappears, we get a
vague sensation of downward movement at the very side of the
frame as the screen adjusts to the bedlight, which is now in
centre-frame.
-- Like this?
-- Hold up.
Camera pans across, focuses, pulls out until we can see Tony
in 3/4 shot, sitting on the bed. He's toying with the sock, turning
it inside out, tying a knot in it. The contrast is much
better here, we can see him properly.
-- Yeah, that's lovely.
Tony makes a face, waves.
-- 'Ello, Mum.
Pulls the sock over his hand, holds it up like a puppet and
looks at it earnestly.
-- And what kind of story do we have today, Mr Flibble?
Makes sock "talk"
-- Well, Tone, today it's the one about the nun and
the
basketballe--
-- OK. That should do it. How's the monitor?
-- Better.
Camera bumps, shape (presumably Dave) moves around the side,
stops about a metre away (out of focus) but we can see he's
bending over and fiddling with something out of our range of
vision. Tony (now slightly out of focus) is watching
intensely, and grinning.
-- Can you get Channel 5 on that?
-- Shut up. You seen that r/f anywhere?
-- (to sock) I don't know. Have we seen the r/f?
-- I don't think so, Tone.
Sock "looks" between Tony and Dave.
-- He's not going to be terribly happy about that,
is he?
-- Shut up. Ah, there we go.
Satisfied, Dave stands up, moves over to the bed and sits
down next to Tony, totally screwing up the focus -- the only
thing we can see clearly is the bit of back wall between
them.
-- Oh, that's Cannes material, that is...
Sock pecks at Dave's bald spot. Dave bats it away, not
terribly gently.
-- Just give me a minute, OK?
Dave leans forward, picks something up off the floor and
fiddles with it, sitting back upright slowly. The camera
zooms in, too fast, focuses, then pulls out about half a
frame, zooms back in, moves right to a very, very blurry
Dave, focuses, then pulls out slowly, adjusting to the left
gently as it pulls out until both Dave and Tony are in focus.
-- Right. Now tell me...
The sock is peeking over Dave's right shoulder, looking
between his face and the camera. Dave shoots a dirty look at
Tony, who puts on his best "innocent" face.
-- Tell me when you can see...
Sock is peering down at the gadget in Dave's hand, then
turning back to Tony and making "surprise" movements. Dave
is studiously ignoring it.
-- ...that edge of the bed, all right?
The camera begins to move out slowly. Tony's eyes are fixed
on the monitor, still out of shot. The sock is urging the
camera on and beckoning it back in time with his words.
-- That's better. Bit more, bit more... stop.
We can just see the bright white edge of the monitor screen.
Camera stops, jerkily.
-- Back a bit... back...
Camera pulls back in, very slowly.
-- Stop.
Sock does excited dance on Dave's shoulder.
Dave looks very pleased with himself. We can now see that
he's holding a black oval attached to a cable which leads
(presumably) to the camera. He makes one last adjustment to
the dials on the oval, ignoring the sock which is now nipping
at his ear and nuzzling against his hairline.
-- Right.
He leans over and deposits the remote offscreen somewhere in
the vicinity of the monitor. Turns and grins at Tony.
-- Now get your kit off.
Tony grins, shoves him gently.
-- You first. You're the di-*rec*tor.
Dave shoves him back, not so gently.
-- Fine.
He bends, starts to take off his shoes. Tony, still with the
sock on his hand, starts unbuttoning his pullover, nods
towards the camera.
-- That recording yet?
-- Yeah. You can tell, there's a little light on
the top...
Gestures vaguely, without looking up
-- See?
Tony peers over.
-- Oh, right.
-- Should it be flashing?
Dave looks up at Tony
-- What?
Tony gestures with the sock hand.
-- Flashing. Is it meant to be doing that?
Dave looks up, puzzled, gets up and walks over to the camera.
CU his body and chin, very out of focus; camera wobbles. We
hear clicks and so on as he's fiddling with it.
-- Looks all right to me.
In the background we can see vague movement -- it's almost in
focus around the edges, where we can see past Dave. Vague
suggestions of dark shapes flying around the room, with the
occasional muffled thud. Focus shifts between darkness of
Dave and background.
-- Where's the bloody manual?
-- On the floor.
Dave bends down, quick 2-second shot, we see Tony has
continued undressing in the background,cut off very quickly
as Dave stands up again. Nice, long, very fuzzy shot of his
midriff, large pale area which autofocuses to show us it's
the manual. The sound of pages turning is very, very loud.
-- What's it say?
-- Doesn't.
-- Could be the battery. Have a look under the little
symbol, there's a list of them at the back...
-- I do know what I'm doing, Tone...
Hasty flick to back, then Dave snaps manual shut, drops it,
bends close for one more look.
-- Would help if I could SEE the sodding thing...
-- What?
-- Nothing...
We hear him flick a few switches, then he stands up, moves
back to the bed. Tony's now completely naked, but has a
pillow in his lap. He leans back, one hand behind him, the
other on the pillow, and grins at Dave.
-- Last one in's a Federation Rep...
Dave kicks off his shoes, then goes to pick them up, puts
them neatly next to the bed, then looks at the monitor, picks
them up again, and pushes them off-screen. Tony's grinning
knowingly.
-- Getting cold feet are we?
Dave stands up, flicks Tony on the forehead, then starts to
undo his belt.
-- No, no way. Who's idea was this, anyway, hey?
He grins.
-- You should talk. Come on, **everything**...
Gestures at the pillow. Tony pretends not to understand,
looks innocently up at Dave. Dave laughs, shucks his jeans
down, steps out of them, picks them up and flicks the pillow
with them.
-- Come on...
-- Oh, all right.
Tony pulls the pillow out, whacks Dave with it and chucks it
away. Muffled bang. The cactus rolls into focus on the
bottom right of the screen.
-- Oh, Tone...
Dave goes to pick it and the pillow up, exposing a nice
length of thigh in the process.
-- Sorry.
Dave replaces the potplant, then turns back around to find
Tony now sitting in the lotus position, holding up the sock
again. The sock is making obscene sucking gestures. Tony's
trying very very hard to keep a straight face and almost
succeeding. Dave packs up, whacks Tony over the head
repeatedly with the pillow.
-- You're... not.. taking.. this... seriously...
Tony makes a grab for the pillow; it comes flying towards the
camera, which wobbles, then develops static and blanks out
for second. Picture returns.
-- areful, that's...
They're more or less wrestling on the bed now, still
laughing, Tony's trying to get Dave's jacket off and Dave's
fighting him all the way
-- ...ID proper...
Picture comes, goes, jacket flies across the room, closely
followed by Dave's boxers. The sound is coming in bursts,
nothing clear, very staticy. Tony's managed to pin Dave down
and is systematically stripping him, makes a cartoon lewd
face at the camera then doubletakes, looks puzzled...
-- ...ashin...gai...
And Dave sits up, peers over at the camera, sound cuts out
completely. Tony points, Dave squints... sound returns.
-- ...right to me.
Both look, wait, sound seems ok, picture seems ok. Dave looks
more or less satisfied, pulls off his t-shirt, takes the
opportunity to knock Tony down and straddle him. As Tony's
hands reach gently for his waist, he grins, wickedly, and
leans down.
-- And... action...
0504 Static
=== © bessie 1999 ===
=====
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