SquidgeWorld Archive

"...So then I clued in, they're just friends with benefits, y'know?" The unknown young man in the booth behind Garth and Roy was talking to his companion, who laughed at the comment and which led to a round of comments about what the benefits consisted of. Glancing at Roy, Garth saw that he had a small smile on his face and so he understood the reference, but...

It was clear to Garth that the man was being salacious, but he wasn't exactly sure what they were talking about. Not really, anyway. But then there was still so much about English slang he hadn't mastered yet, especially when it kept changing the way it did. Just then their food arrived, Donna returned from the lady's room and it somehow didn't seem like the kind of question he should ask in a crowd. Either they'd laugh at him or someone, probably him, would be embarrassed. Besides, it seemed like too easy an opening for Roy to make another one of his annoying teasing remarks and Garth hated them every time he heard another one. They were just so...unpleasant.

All right, a friendship with benefits, well; most friendships came with benefits. The very definition of friendship was really just a list of benefits when you came down to it, both mutual and otherwise. What was wrong with that? It was probably innocent, wasn't it? But the tone of the laughter seemed to say it was more, much more. It was confusing but so many things about relationships on the surface were still confusing to Garth, even after all thee years.

Maybe he'd ask Dick when he saw him. Dick would know and he'd explain it without thinking that Garth was an idiot. That's what he'd do, he'd ask Dick. He'd know.

About an hour or so later he was on his way over to Dick's apartment in Bludhaven when his cell phone rang. "Garth? Hey man, I'm really sorry, but the Bat wants me to help him with a possible security break at Arkham. I'll see you this weekend, okay? I'm sorry but you know how it is, right?"

Disappointed, Garth hid it as well as he could. "Yes, of course. Saturday, then? I'll look forward to it."

"That's one of the benefits, y'know? Anticipation. Thanks, Garth. `Later."

A benefit? He wouldn't have thought of it that way, but it could be considered one from a certain perspective and Dick usually did see the positive side of things. All right, it could be one of the benefits of him and Dick being lovers.

There were times when it almost got in the way, thoughâ€"like last month when he'd been in a meeting with Arthur or times dealing with the Nature Conservancy or Wood's Hole or maybe the Cousteau Society and he'd be thinking about his last encounter with Dick. There was that one time when he was at a State Dinner in London, making small talk with Prince Charles and his mind had been on the way Dick's shoulders movedâ€"flexing and taunt with muscle and tight control, slick with a sheen of sweat when they were making love. It was all he could do to keep his mind on the subject at hand.

They'd been friends for so long, since they were only twelve years old. All of them, all the Titans were close but lately, just in the last couple of months since he and Dick had become lovers the wonder of it amazed Garth. He was still hesitant about any kind of demonstrations in front of the others and Dick seemed reluctant as well. He understood it; it just made sense, really. None of the others knewâ€"whenever they spent the night together is was always someplace private like Dick's apartment or a hotel room. Dick said, of course, that it was just easier this way and he was right, really. It was easier without all the explanations and all of that. Besides, he knew that the others might have problems with the same-sex aspect of it. Donna wouldn't but Wally likely would and Roy would just have another avenue for tormenting him and he'd really rather avoid that.

No, Dick was right. Better to keep this to themselves.

Of course, that wasn't what Dick actually said. What he said was that what they had was too special to share, that he wanted to keep it as good as it was now. Garth didn't understand why their best friends wouldn't be happy for them, but maybe Dick was right after all. In the back of his mind he occasionally wondered if Dick was ashamed of their being together or embarrassed to have Garth as his lover. He managed to put that to the back of his mind most of the time, aside from times in the middle of the night when he couldn't control his thoughts and then they would wander...

Saturday. Two days. He had work to do until then, but he missed Dick so very much.

Finally the weekend rolled around and they were having dinner together in an out of the way place no one had ever heard of. The two of them were in civilian clothes and no one had any idea who they were.

"Your food is better than this place and you still haven't told me how you learned how to cook for God's sake...just another benefit, I guess."

"Cooking is a benefit?"

Dick laughed and leered slightly. "One of them, anyway."

"Oh and thanks for doing the laundry over at my placeâ€"I was swamped this week between the BPD and my night job, y'know? I was afraid I'd have to either wear some used underwearâ€"which is gross, buy new or go to work withoutâ€"which is seriously not cool if anyone finds out." He tried to get the attention of the waiter, they'd placed their order almost half an hour ago and he was ready to revolt if they didn't get their food fast. "Having you around has any number of unexpected benefits."

"What are the others?" Maybe he'd finally find out.

"Other what?"

"The other benefits?"

Dick looked a little confused and a little more amused. "You're fishing."

Garth looked around the dry, landlocked room. He wasn't; he wouldn't even begin to know how here on land in an enclosed room like this. "I'm not."

Dick smiled at that. "Well, you know how you can heat up water? I really hate swimming when it's cold so your warming up the pool at the Tower is a pretty good benefit. And we wear the same size shirts, so you've doubled my wardrobeâ€"that's a helpful benefit." Dick looked towards the waiter hopefully; he hadn't gotten lunch and was seriously starving.

"And we both know you're a lot neater than I amâ€"my apartment is always a lot cleaner when you leave than when you get there." He downed half his glass of water. "You're really good at taking my phone messages, I used to just blow them off, but you're really great at making sure I get them. And my water bill is lower since we started showering togetherâ€"that's a benefit I like."

"Thank you." This wasn't what he'd hoped for at all.

"And let's not forget that you almost never complain when I want to order Chinese foodâ€"you'd be amazed how low a tolerance a lot of people have for that more than about twice a week. That's a major benefit in my book."

"I like Chinese food." Agreeing to takeout food was a benefit?

"So Garth, what's going on with that whole opening trade relations between you guys and us guys? Bruce as talking about that last night and he actually seemed pretty excited about itâ€"especially if he can work around Arthur and go straight through your office."

"You saw Bruce last night?" Instead of me?

"Yeahâ€"I had a few spare hours so I dropped in; just one of the benefits of him having seven extra bedrooms, right? So what's the deal?"

Another benefit? Maybe, but if he had extra time they could have spent it together, couldn't they? "The negotiations are in progress." The waiter brought their drinks along with a basket of warm bread, which Dick immediately started on. Garth watched him for a minute. "Dick?"

"Ummm?"

" `Friends with benefits'â€"what does it mean?"

Dick laughed around the bread in his mouth. "Where did you hear that?" Garth shrugged. "It means a friend you sleep with as a mutual convenience because it's a whole lot better than nothing. You know, a fuck-buddy."

"...So the benefit is sex?" That was all? How...pedestrian. How mundane, how boring, how basic.

"Well, yeah. Why? What did you think it meant?"

"I wasn't sure." But he'd thought it was more than just about getting laidâ€"was that the expression? It was so unimaginative, so base.

Dick saw the look of obvious disappointment on Garth's face and was vaguely uncomfortable about it. "Is that what you think we are?" Ah shit, so that's what this was all about.

Garth ducked his head a little, blushing and embarrassed that he'd thought there was more to it. He was a fool, a needy idiot. Of course that's all they were and it was his own stupid mistake to read more into this than was really there. And now Dick would likely find some tactful way to end even that. "I'm sorry, I was, I thought that we...I'm sorry." He shook his head, it was obvious what he'd thought but now that he looked at it, knowing what that horrible expression really meant, the signs were all there as plain as the dorsal on a sailfish for anyone to see. If he'd looked, which he hadn't.

The waiter chose that moment to deliver their food, interrupting whatever Dick was about to say in some attempt to make him feel better. It didn't matter.

"Excuse me, could we have this packed to go? Thanks."

Of course, he'd ruined everything by his clumsy admission. Dick was uncomfortable even eating dinner with him now and wanted to leave. Of course he did, anyone would. It was fine. He knew it was just a matter of time before this happened one way or another. In a way it was better it happened now, rather than let t drag out until it became impossible. This way they'd still be able to work together, at least.

The food arrived in a bag, Dick handed the waiter a couple of bills and pulled his jacket off the back of his chair and looked at Garth, still sitting. "C'mon."

Yes, might as well get this over with. He got his own jacket and followed Dick out the main door to where his bike was parked. Dick always was pretty considerate; he'd probably offer him a ride back to the waterfront or the Tower or someplace. It was all right, now that he knew it was almost a relief. He'd be fine. Yes, he'd read more into what they were doing than was there, but now that he knew he'd deal with it.

When they stopped they were in the parking area by Dick's apartment building, which surprised Garth but them this was fine, too. Once more to part on good terms was a common enough idea, wasn't it? By the time they were upstairs Garth had regained his composure, ready to play his part and even enjoy himself by storing up memories to be taken out and savored later. He put his jacket on the small chair by the front door so he'd be able to get it later and leave quietly when Dick fell asleep. He always fell asleep after sex and always slept well, too.

"There's something I wanted to show you." Dick pulled him into the bedroom, turned on the light and opened one of the two closets. It was empty. "I thought it was time for you to bring your stuff here, make this more permanent." He opened the drawers in the smaller dresser; they were empty as well. He saw Garth's confused expression. "You're not just a benefit, you're my loverâ€"don't you know that?" He smiled, "well, not to say there aren't some pretty good benefits attached, of course but if all I wanted was to get laid I could go to any bar in the cityâ€"c'mon, Garth you know that, don't you?"

"Yes, but..."

"We don't fuck or just screw; we make love. Am I the only one here who's noticed that?" Garth looked unconvinced. "We're friends, we have things to talk about before and after. We go out together, we enjoy one another's company."

"Dick, you don't have to do this. Honestly, I'm fine with..."

Jesus, Garth could be stubborn in his sense of no self-esteem. "You're not just a lay, you're my lover, okay?"

Garth looked like he was starting to buy this, like he might be starting to almost believe him, thank God. "So are you saying you'd be willing to tell our friends?"

Talk about opening a can of worms with the rest of the Titans, the Bat, Arthur and God knew who all else. No public announcement, no, but their friends. There'd be hell to pay, awkward looks and comments, embarrassment, questions.

On the other hand...what the fuck. Dick always did close his eyes and jump in with both feet, he knew it was the only way to make Garth believe he was serious. "Sure. Tomorrow." Besides, okay he knew this wasn't true loveâ€"or probably wasn't, but he really wasn't ready to end it. He and Garth were friends, they had good times together, and there was no reason to pull the plug.

Garth smiled, maybe Dick really meant this, maybe he really did feel something for him and their being together. It wasn't like either of them thought they'd ever get married or any of that but for now this was working pretty well and they seemed like they were both back on the same page.

For now.