SquidgeWorld Archive

Xander looked at the necklace in his hand. Didn't matter now...Cordelia and him were over, and the damn spell...he didn't even want to go there. The necklace was just as broken as they were. And maybe just as broken as he and Buffy were.

But he had to find out.

***

Cordelia sat at one table of the Bronze, glaring at Buffy. Buffy didn't even notice; she had her head on her crossed hands. She remembered a few things from the day before. She remembered...Xander. She had had sex with Xander.

She hadn't told anyone. Normally she'd go to Willow but Xander was her best friend. She had no clue how the redhead would react and, besides, maybe it didn't happen and she thought it had and...

She shook her head as she remembered seeing blood on her underwear the next time she went to the bathroom. It wasn't that time of the month, so she assumed it was from the sex.

She'd spent the last twenty-four hours in a daze, wondering what the hell she was going to do.

"Hey."

She turned up and looked at Xander. He was standing behind her, holding a necklace, looking just as down in the dumps as Buffy was. "Hey," she replied.

"How much...do you..."

"Remember? Everything," she said quietly.

"Oh." He sat at the table and looked at her. "I'm really sorry."

Buffy shrugged. "Something happened that I don't know if I can talk about right now." She shrugged. "When I can, though, then we can talk, okay?"

"Okay." He handed her the necklace. "The clasp is broken, that's all. But...after everything...I figured you'd at least appreciate it."

She put her hand around it, almost wanting to give it back, but he was right. She did appreciate it. She slipped it into her coat pocket.

"Xander?" she asked quietly.

"Yes?"

"Um...one thing. We...uh...weren't protected," she said quietly. "If I get..."

He nodded. "I'm your friend. I'll be there whatever you decide."

"But you'd be the father, too."

"And it's your choice how you decide to go." He started to put his arm around her shoulder and stopped. "I'll talk to Willow, Buffy. That way she'll hate me and not you."

"You hope." She stood up and glanced at the still scowling Cordelia. "Gotta go. Patrol."

***

Months passed. Buffy was, to her amazement, pregnant. And the more she thought about it, the more she realized that having her first time with Xander wasn't so bad, especially after he admitted she was his first. It was a thing they shared that made them closer friends.

Willow took it hard at first, but after a few months she accepted what had happened and realized that things hadn't changed too much. When she and Oz started dating, it became a virtual non-issue.

Cordelia had plenty to say on the matter, only she didn't scream and rant and rave about it to her friends. She went straight to Xander. And the fight was good for them. When they reconciled and got back together, no one was surprised.

For Buffy and Angel, however, things were...different. He told her about the clause in his curse, she told him about her pregnancy and she decided that sex or anything sexual should be kept out of their relationship. After fighting and arguing about it over and over, the decision they came to was that there *was* no relationship. They were finished. Willow and Xander were there for her, of course, but Xander carried the guilt that his friends unhappiness was all his fault.

One night, maybe towards the end of the second semester, Buffy began to brighten up a bit. There was a secret admirer who sent her lovely notes and beautiful sketches, and flowers at least every other week. She was happy, knowing that there was someone paying some attention to her, and she was blossoming again.

And then it happened. One night at the Bronze she ran into Angel, drawing a sketch in the exact style of the others, He had missed her, he said, and wanted to be with her. They made plans even though she still wanted sex out of the question, and it looked like that might have happened had they not almost died one night.

It was wonderful. While it may not have been her first time, it was still just as special. She'd forgotten about the clause. She'd forgotten about the monster Angel had been.

And it would all be thrown in her face.

***

Xander was the first to notice the tear stained cheeks and the desolate look on her face.

"What happened?"

"Angelus is back," she said softly, and then a new torrent of tears fell from her face as she crashed into him, sobbing on his shoulder.

"We'll stop him," he said quietly, soothing her hair. "You know we will. You're the best Slayer in the world. We'll get him."

Buffy said nothing. She just kept crying, and the others in the room felt immobilized, unable to comfort her the way Xander was trying to.

***

Angelus joined with Spike and Drusilla. Nasty combination, Buffy would often mutter as she practiced training harder then before. Xander also stepped up to the plate, researching every moment he could and trying to protect the others as much as he possibly could.

This wasn't to say the others weren't busy. Everyone was looking for a way to bring Angel back. Willow and Jenny were working together with Giles. Cordelia and Oz had joined Xander with the researching. And Buffy...Buffy practiced with every weapon the could get their hands on. No one could talk her out of it, not even when she began to show.

So when the final battle between Angelus and Buffy came, things were different: she was fully prepared to kill him and anyone who got in her way to save the world. She knew her friends would back her up. She wanted to get him out of her existence so that she could figure out what to do next.

***

The fight was brief. Kendra had returned and helped get rid of Spike and Drusilla, though in the end Drusilla gave her a mortal wound. She was one of two casualties for the good guys.

The other was Willow. She was casting the spell to get Angel's soul back and he killed her in mid incantation, Jenny stepped in, but it was too late: the portal was open.

Buffy did what she knew she would have to do: she stuck the sword given to her for this in his stomach and pushed as hard as she could. As he backed into the abyss, he grabbed her wrist in such a tight grip that Buffy almost went through as well. Angelus had the nastiest grin on his face.

And then Buffy stumbled backwards, Angelus' hand still on her wrist while the rest of Angelus went into the abyss. Xander dropped the sword and ran to Buffy. "You okay?"

"I will after I get to a hospital. I think...I think I'm gonna lose the baby."

***

She was wrong. It turned out that, even at four months of pregnancy, her Slayer healing skills were working well. By the time they arrived at the hospital, things were okay again. But she and Xander decided to have one very serious, very private chat.

"I don't think keeping the baby would be a good idea," Buffy said from the hospital bed where she was laying. "I could die at any moment...look at Kendra. I mean, what I do is dangerous."

Xander nodded. "Neither of us would be good parents right now."

Buffy started to cry. "My mom...she's already getting attached. She was so disappointed at first but now..."

Xander bowed his head and thought for a moment. "Have you thought about maybe giving the baby up for adoption?"

"I don't think I could do it, Xander."

"What if it was to Giles or your mother?"

Buffy stopped crying for a moment. "Do you think..."

"We could ask."

Buffy nodded. "Earlier tonight, I told my mom. She almost kicked me out, she doesn't understand the slaying. But maybe..." She shook her head. "Mom wouldn't."

"Ask her," he said, taking her hand.

***

Five months later, when Buffy gave birth to a healthy girl, she handed the baby to her new family. Giles and Jenny had decided to be the baby's caretakers, her legal guardians. They wanted Buffy and Xander to be involved with their daughter and her life, and they wanted Joyce to be able to see her granddaughter as often as possible.

There were some stipulations: the guardianship wasn't permanent, and Xander and Buffy had say in all the decisions until they were able to take care of the girl themselves, however they saw fit. Marriage wasn't in the plans, but co-parenting was an option that they both wanted to try, when they were out of school and could support a young girl. And if anything happened to them, guardianship went to Joyce.

It seemed the best option for all involved.

***
THREE MONTHS LATER
***

"Happy Valentine's Day," Xander said to Buffy, handing her a card. Then he moved to Willow, who lay in her bassinet, sound asleep to the world. "And here's your present," he said, putting a small doll in the bassinet alongside his daughter.

"What a nice card," Buffy said. She kissed Xander's cheek. "You and Cordelia have plans for tonight?"

"Dinner and a movie," he said. "Her choice."

"Ow."

"What about you?"

"Staying here with Willow so Jenny and Giles can go out and have an evening off."

"Any word on the council letting you out?"

Buffy nodded. "Replacement Slayer showed up this afternoon. Her name's Faith. I've been stripped of my powers and I'm going to get my act together and...be something."

"You already are something."

Buffy grinned and blushed a bit. "Yeah, well... Anyway, you should start getting ready. I've got to study."

Xander nodded. "See you later. We taking Willow out this weekend?"

"If the weather holds up." She waved to Xander as he left Giles' apartment, then turned to her daughter. "Normally Valentine's Day stinks, but when you get older I'll tell you about last year and why you're here. When you get older...I'll tell you everything."

Willow LaVelle Summers took a deep yawn and continued to sleep. Buffy just smiled.

The door opened and Xander came back in. "Buffy?"

"Yeah?"

"We're friends, right?"

"Yeah..."

"I think Cordelia's going to break up with me again today. I called her house and she's pissed."

"Just remember...no more spells. Got it?"

"It wasn't that. If she does...can I come back here and spend time with the two of you?"

"You don't need to ask. She's your daughter, too."

"But I wanted to know if you wouldn't mind."

"Oh. Um...sure. Come on by."

"Cool." He turned and grinned. "Maybe this whole crazy year did something good."

"Yeah, I think it did," Buffy said as Xander headed out the door. The thought of her and Xander together as a couple...strange, but somehow comforting. Maybe it would be a good thing...