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2020-11-05
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If I Just Lay Here

Summary:

Website: n/a
Permission to Archive: yes to WWOMB, all others ask
Fandom: NCIS
Genre: FRT-13: For hints of m/m
Pairings: Gibbs/DiNozzo
Summary: This started out as a little snippet based on a song lyric. I haven't written for a long time, and the plot bunnies just multiplied like crazy! Tony is overcome by a case and death of an infant.
Acknowledgments: Not betaed, all mistakes my own.
Submitted through the NavyNCISslash Mailing list

Work Text:

If I Just Lay Here
by Ladyperidot

This case had been hard. Hell, most of them were. But sometimes even an experienced agent had trouble reconciling the depravity of some members of the human race. To slice open a pregnant woman to take her child, well, you couldn't get much worse, could you? But the attacker, herself a Marine private, and the Navy Lieutenant she had killed were not top on his list right now. Tony had taken the case exceptionally hard. He was the one who had found the baby, and Gibbs hadn't been with him at the time.

DiNozzo had stumbled back to the car, pale, sweaty and gasping for air. As Ducky had finished with the lieutenant, he had been the first to notice their young colleague.

"Anthony, whatever is the matter?" the ME asked as he approached the younger man. As Ducky reached for Tony's shoulder, the usually cocky and confident NCIS agent looked at the ME with green eyes brimming with tears.

"Baby," Tony gasped, "I found the baby." He pointed to an area of medium sized shrubs about thirty feet from where they stood. As the Medical Examiner moved toward the site, DiNozzo moved away from the car and, gagging, lost his lunch on the ground.

Gibbs had seen Ducky speaking to DiNozzo and followed him to the screen of shrubs where the lifeless, tiny bluish form was found. As the tiny body bag was carried back to the van, Ducky nodded toward the car.

"Jethro, I believe that young Anthony might need some assistance with the aftermath of this horrendous day."

Steely blue eyes looked over towards DiNozzo, still bent over and fighting to regain some sort of control of his athletic body. "You get everything you need?" he asked Dr. Mallard as he moved away from him and toward his young agent.

"Yes, yes, just go, Jethro. Go see to DiNozzo," Ducky fussed, heading toward his van and motioning Special Agent Gibbs to the now grayish-green Agent Dinozzo.

Tony didn't see or hear his team leader approach. When a large, callused hand found its way around the back of his neck, he jumped.

A familiar voice asked, "You okay, DiNozzo?" The voice was a little softer than the growl usually aimed at his team members.

Wiping his hand across his eyes to clear them, Tony's broken voice struggled to reply, "Yeah, Boss."

"Doesn't look like it to me," the senior agent responded, leaving his hand clasped around Tony's neck.

"Be okay, Boss," Tony reiterated, although his voice was still raw from the dry heaves, the bile and the tears.

Gibbs reached for the car door and fumbled inside for a second. Having secured a bottle of water, he opened it and slid it into Tony's hand. His right palm maintained its warm contact with the back of his agent's neck.

As Tony straightened to stand he wobbled, and his boss grabbed his arm, directing him to the passenger seat.

"Just sit, DiNozzo." The command was in that softer voice again, not the gravelly growl commands were usually issued in.

Tony lowered himself to sit, embarrassed to have his superior see him red-eyed, snot-nosed, falling apart. He opened the water and sipped, then shuddered. Gibbs had squatted down in front of him and was looking at him intently. The blue eyes weren't snapping and angry. They were gazing at him in what Tony could only think of as compassion.

"Your first infant death, Tony?" he asked softly.

Tony shuddered again, tried to speak, but could only nod. Then, to his surprise, those warm hands were lifting his feet and legs into the car. "Boss? What. . .?"

"I'm taking you home."

"You don't have - - I mean, I'm okay. . ."the younger man stumbled with his assertion.

"I said, I'm taking you home, DiNozzo." Gibbs' voice was a little louder and firmer. He closed the car door and flipped open his cell. Checking with McGee, Ducky and Abby, he was told that McGee had located the private, had taken her into custody, and as soon as he had entered the interrogation room, she was ready to sign a confession. McGee had already ordered a psych eval for the private. Abby was running blood comparisons, and Ducky was, to quote McGee, "Doing his lab thing in autopsy," although the causes of death were readily apparent.

"Good job, McGee. Finish your report. . ."

McGee interrupted, ". . .and leave it in your in box. Got it, Boss."

"See you in the morning, McGee."

"Uh, Boss, um, what about Tony? He hasn't come back."

"Not to worry, McGee. I know where DiNozzo is."

"Right, Boss," McGee responded, still puzzled, as the cell phone snapped off.

Sliding behind the wheel, Gibbs started the engine and Tony, still a bit green, tried to tell his boss that he was alright.

"DiNozzo, I'm taking you home."

Still not the bark Tony was expecting. Still firm, but somehow gentle. He shrugged his shoulders and looked out the side window, occasionally sneaking a glance at the steel haired, blue eyed man beside him.

It was obvious, within a few minutes, that Gibbs was going the wrong direction.

"Uh, Boss?"

"Yeah?"

"Thought you said you were taking me home?"

"Yup."

"Boss, this isn't the right direction. . . "

"Didn't say `your home', did I, Tony?"

Puzzled, Tony replied, "Uh, no. Guess not."

In ten minutes the car rolled to a stop in front of the craftsman style home belonging to one Leroy Jethro Gibbs. Tony's stomach was still churning and he wondered if he was going to puke in Gibbs's car -or possibly on his lawn. Neither were things he really wanted Gibbs to see. As he fought to control his gut, the car's other occupant had unbuckled his seat belt and jumped out of the car. Tony's door was pulled open and Gibbs reached in.

"Let's get you in the house."

The younger man was confused. "Boss?"

"Tony. C'mon. You're shaking. Let me help you up."

His team leader's hands fastened around his, and Tony was surprised that Gibbs was right. His hands were shaking. As a matter of fact, all of him seemed to be shaking.

Gibbs somehow managed to snake one arm around his waist and then they were navigating the stairs up to the front door. Once inside, Gibbs steered Tony to the kitchen, and a chair at the table.

"You need to eat, DiNozzo, so I'm gonna fix you some soup."

" `m okay, Boss." Those few words seemed to take all of Tony's energy. The shaking of his hands and the rest of him continued. And oh, just great! He was getting cold now. And it looked like the sun was about to set. That was strange. The sun had been shining when he'd discovered the --- No. Don't think about it, he told himself.

He became aware of Gibbs making some noise as he prepared the soup. He looked up, expecting to see a can, and once again was surprised when the older man removed a packet from the freezer. It looked like homemade soup - frozen.

Gibbs opened the bag and placed the frozen blob into a saucepan, then turned to look at he is lead agent. The younger man's complexion was still a sickly pale color. He was still trembling as he sat at the table, and Jethro could see the sheen of sweat across Tony's brow and upper lip.

"This'll take a few minutes. C'mon."

"Where?"

"Shower," Gibbs bluntly replied. When the green eyes continued to owlishly blink at him, he continued. "DiNozzo. You're a mess and you're in shock. Your whole body is shaking. You cold?"

"Yeah," Tony slowly replied, then flinched slightly as a large hand headed toward his head. Instead of the smack he was expecting, blunt fingers skimmed his forehead and a thumb caressed his cheek. Whoa! Where did that come from?

"Cold, yet you're sweating. Shock. C'mon!" And Gibbs pulled DiNozzo to his feet and propelled him down the hall to the stairs. "Make it up the stairs?" he asked.

"Yeah, sure, but . . ."

"Your speech is starting to slur and you're speaking more slowly. Another sign of shock. You need to warm up, get some rest, and get something to eat."

With that, Gibbs dragged his young field agent into the bathroom and pushed him to sit on the closed toilet seat. A quick twist to Gibbs' right and water was running in the tub. As steam started to fill the room, another quick movement started the shower spray and he turned back to his charge.

"DiNozzo! Shower! Get undressed." The blue eyes rolled with a shake of the silvered head.

DiNozzo found the entire scene around him surreal. He was sitting in his boss's bathroom while said boss was pulling very large, very fluffy towels from somewhere and - no, wait! Those hands that he had looked at longingly were busy undoing the buttons on his shirt. And shit! Those fingers were doing the same thing to the buttons on Gibbs shirt.

Tony decided he must be dreaming because the former Marine gunnery sergeant would not be undressing him in the steamy bathroom of his house. Within seconds his thoughts took another hit because those talented hands had unbuckled his belt and a noise that sounded suspiciously like a zipper being pulled was accosting his ears.

"C'mon, DiNozzo!" a voice said as those hands now pulled him to his feet. Fingers rested on his hips and then pushed as Tony watched his boxer-briefs fall to his knees.

And that whiny sound! That could not be his voice, could it? The one that was saying, "Bo-oh-sssss!?

"DiNozzo! Will you cooperate here? C'mon! Under the shower!"

As he was shoved under the hot flow of water, his eyes focused - no, make that tried to focus. What the hell was the matter with his eyes? He thought he saw Gibbs drop trou and boxers. No! That couldn't be right!

But he felt another body join his in the shower and he didn't feel any fabric back there behind him. He did, however, feel skin - bare skin as someone behind him slid closer, wrapped an arm around his waist, and reached for a bar of soap.

"Boss? Gibbs? Wha. . . .?"

"I figure, once you're wet, might as well use soap."

And since he was being held up and someone else was doing the work, Tony relaxed and let himself go. His head seemed to fit perfectly on Gibbs's shoulder. How peculiar was that? Too soon, though, the hands were turning off the water, rubbing his shoulders and arms with one of the fluffy towels and moving him from the shower. Through the haze of this dream/reality, Tony did realize that he was warmer. He was led down the hall and into a large blue room. He was pushed to the blue bed and sat on the edge. The fluffy towel was briskly rubbed over legs that he supposed were his. He watched from a distance as those fingers moved the towel toward his genitals and gently wiped away the beads of water still clinging to his skin.

Tony released the breath he hadn't known he was holding and finally looked up and into that blue-eyed gaze. "Boss," Tony whispered as the steam or fog in his brain started to clear. He dared to look again, but the blue eyes weren't glaring or angry. They were milder looking and filled with -compassion? Yeah, maybe.

Gibbs straightened up and swung Tony's feet to the bed, then pulled sheet and comforter over him. Tony watched as the towel wrapped around the still-taut waist was dropped and a bathrobe pulled on.

"Stay put," Gibbs warned as he leaned over Tony. "I'm going to get your soup." Before Tony could answer, firm lips placed a gentle kiss on his forehead, and then Gibbs disappeared.

Wild flying bits of the past hours zipped through Tony's brain - the grisly discovery he'd made; his stomach and brain revolting on him; Gibbs taking him home, but to the Boss's house not his apartment; his boss undressing him and showering with him and that kiss. Wait. Stop. Rewind. Kiss? Yeah, he did remember that, didn't he? It wasn't part of the foggy stuff, was it?

He was still puzzling it out when his boss-turned-caretaker returned carrying a tray with three steaming mugs on it. The tray was placed on the night table. Pillows were piled behind him and he was instructed to sit up. As Tony pushed himself to sit, he pointed out that there were only two of them and what was up with the third mug?

"Soup, soup, and coffee," he was told. "No caffeine for you."

After a tentative sip from his mug, DiNozzo commented, "This is good, Boss. You make this?"

"Yeah, Tony. I do know how to cook," Gibbs replied as he sat on the side of the bed, facing the younger man.

Green eyes continued to watch, even as Tony drank more of the soup. There was silence between the two men, but it was a comfortable one.

"More?" Gibbs asked after a few minutes.

"No, thanks. I'm good, Boss."

The silvered head nodded and Gibbs finished his second mug, the one with the coffee.

When the empty mugs were back on the tray, the older man carried it to a small table in the corner of the room and placed it there. Tony noticed that the table was beside a rather comfortable looking recliner. Odd place for that piece of furniture, he thought briefly. Then Gibbs turned and looked at the younger agent in his bed.

Now, Tony thought, the silence was getting uncomfortable. He remembered the soft kiss. Suddenly he hoped he got another one.

The robed figure moved back across the room, pausing to look at Tony. "I didn't figure you needed to be alone tonight."

The green eyes gazing back at him were open, and somehow innocent. "Figured right, Boss. But I kinda think all of this goes way beyond `watching out for the team'. "

"Maybe."

Gibbs untied the robe's belt and Tony swallowed hard as he watched the older man slide the garment from broad shoulders.

Funny what you notice when your boss is sort of gliding toward you, naked, in his blue bedroom and you're lying equally naked in his bed. With a gulp, Tony pulled the covers back and asked, "If I lay here, if I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?"

end

Lyrics from "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol were borrowed, without permission.

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?