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John watched silently as Marie and Bobby talked. He had never known a chill like the one he felt now. He had never been this cold. Not since his powers had come. His stomach clenched and nausea welled up within him. They were laughing, her small gloved hand in Bobby's larger one.
Hands that had skimmed over his body. Ice cold, leaving goose bumps in their wake. Hands that made him shiver. Hands that he'd loved.
Hands that belonged to her now. Bobby said it wasn't about choosing Marie over him. It wasn't about him being a guy and her being a girl. Bobby wanted to be 'normal'. He wanted a mutant girlfriend he couldn't touch over a mutant boyfriend he could. What was normal about any of that? John wanted to laugh. He could feel it burning inside. It fanned the flames he yearned to create.
John's fingers whitened as he gripped his lighter. He could feel its smooth edges digging into his skin. John watched them as they walked further down the path. He could feel the bite and scrape of the bark as he dragged his hand around the tree that was hiding him. The need to watch his lover drifting further and further away was sick. It was masochistic, and John had never really been into pain. But he had never been in love before either.
He watched Marie turn her face up toward Bobby's. Her eyes turned down in a parody of flirtation. John had seen this act a thousand times before, done by woman dirtier, more desperate, and hungrier than Marie would ever be. They had been whores, too. John sneered as he watched Bobby fall deeper and deeper into her web. Smiling as he went.
It was sad. Book-smart, not street-smart, but he had never thought Bobby was idiot. John had done his best to show Bobby what it was like outside the sugarcoated life he'd had growing up. Bobby had always said he understood. John had talked about the women he had known. Women he was raised around, ones that would kill you for a dollar, or fuck you if you offered one. He knew now that Bobby hadn't understood him at all.
Something had to change. Something had to break. If Bobby couldn't see what was right in front of him...John knew he couldn't stay here. He couldn't stay and not be with Bobby. John wasn't the type of guy who could say 'I'm happy that is he's happy'. Either Bobby was with him or he wasn't. Right now, he wasn't.
John started to turn away. He couldn't stand watching anymore. Just as he did, Marie raised her gloved hand and traced a finger across Bobby's lips. Bile rose in his throat, leaving an acidic trail behind it. He would try one more time. Just one more. Then it was over and done. If Bobby still wanted out, so be it. John wasn't the type to beg either.
~*~
Scott's car was far from comfortable. Especially with people as connected and disconnected as the four of them were. Bobby was sitting next to him, seething over the attention his 'girlfriend' was giving Logan. Logan was worried about Doctor Grey so he barely even spared Marie a second thought after John discovered the 'phone'. John watched her pout and fidget. She never even glanced back at her purloined boyfriend. It was incredibly ironic. It also irritated him. He had lost to a vacuous, unfaithful bitch.
Bobby looked over at him, his expression tight and his normally innocent eyes dark and defiant. It almost seemed as if he were daring John to say something. Anything. He seemed to want John to react. Bobby moved closer, invading his space. John could feel Bobby pressing a cool leg against his own. John slid closer to the window and looked away. Bobby had made his choice, and it wasn't him. He had never been the type to look back.
~*~
Sitting silently in the back of the now repaired jet, John watched them. He watched them starring longingly at the X-Suits as if they were a tangible sign of goodness and success. Marie and Bobby were the perfect minions. John choked back a laugh as 'Miss Perfect' was knocked down a peg by Wolverine and then by the geezer sitting next to him. John acted as if he were ignoring them. He wasn't though. He couldn't.
John looked at Magneto, and he looked back at his lighter. He could feel the older man's gaze measuring him. As if by looking, he could even see what John was made of.
He was tired, but that didn't matter. It didn't matter that he'd spent the last three days fighting. It didn't matter who. In fact, you could take your pick...Bobby, the police or Doctor Grey and Storm over his 'irresponsible' behavior. His bone-bred wariness was screaming at him. Telling him it was time to run.
~*~
"You are a God among insects. Never let anyone tell you different."
He knew what Magneto was offering, albeit a nonverbal offer. He also knew that there would never be any going back. It didn't matter to him. It wouldn't be the first time he had burned his bridges as he walked away. This time would be the most spectacular though.
Wind whipped around him as they lifted off. He hated flying but he didn't want to sit and look away as his old life was stripped away. It gave him a sick sort of joy to know Bobby would kill himself with guilt.
He knew what he was doing. He always did. It was time everyone else realized it.