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ALLIES
I stood there, mouth agape, staring at the creature that had appeared before me. I am the God of War. I am used to horror, I am used to gore, I am used to ugly, but nothing could prepare me for this. It was a beast so disgusting that I cannot find words, in any of the hundreds of dialects that I speak, to describe him. I will just say that you are fortunate to have only seen him as a flash of red light.
"I take it what. . . what's going on here is your doing." I try to be nonchalant about the whole thing. Yet, deep in my core, I am puzzled. This was not something that I had expected. Few enemies have had the nerve to address the god of war directly.
"That chrysalis down there. . . "
"Chrysalis?"
"Cocoon."
"Thanks." I should have listened more when Gaia was instructing us in biology. I was too busy thinking and re-thinking the part she called the "birds and the bees" to pay attention to anything else.
"That chrysalis down there in the cave contains the metamorphosing body of my daughter. The one her mother named Hope. What a stupid name that is. You don't have to hope, she will deliver."
I am amazed at the expression in his voice. I thought I knew greed and avarice, but I am not prepared for this.
"If you play your cards right, she's yours for the taking."
"Mine?"
"To ravish, to fuck, to knock up."
"Thanks, but no thanks."
"She's going to be a beautiful woman."
"I'm not interested."
"Oh, you're one of THOSE gods. I've heard about you Greeks."
On a normal night I would have thrown my fist in the general direction of the body part I had deemed to be his head -- or at least his mouth. I was not interested in discussing my sex life with this creature from another world. I am also not interested in being buried up to my elbow in slime, probably toxic slime. I consider throwing a fireball, but what effect would that have on something that is already burning?
"I just prefer to select my own women."
"Like the one you were talking to earlier. She is a looker. I wouldn't mind getting my . . . .
He's talking about Xena. He has also been watching her. My skin crawls at the thought of him even looking at Xena.
"Is she good in the sack? She sure looks like she would be a terror in bed. Her little friend just laid there -- not a wiggle, not a peep."
I had always wondered how Gabrielle got pregnant. I can understand her not responding to this creature.
"Why are you here talking to me? Surely not just to offer your daughter's services?" I sneer. A sneer is one of my favorite expressions.
"I am willing to make a deal with you, Ares. Normally I wouldn't bother to speak to the local yokel gods, but normally they're so scared they don't bother to get involved in what I have to do to take power. You on the other hand are thinking about taking action. I can't have you doing that. So I'm offering you a role -- a key role -- in my entrance into the world."
"Cut the dramatics and the condescension -- you're not going to make it into this world. As we speak armies are gathering to fight you. You think you can buy my alliance with an offer to fuck your daughter -- who probably looks a lot like her annoying blond mother. No thank you. Go find another world to terrorize."
"That's just it, you are going to call off your warlords. Find something else for them to fight with their weapons. It will be worth it to you, Ares, believe me."
"Excuse me if I don't jump up and down with glee. I can't believe that you think Gabby's daughter would be worth selling out my god-hood for a hump."
"I think you are thinking with your penis, Ares, and not looking at the big picture."
"Huh?" At least now my penis is thinking logically and saying 'no'.
"First you are going to call off your warlords, or there will be no soldiers left for future battles."
"Yea, sure. Idle threats. Even if I did call off my warlords, you would still have to deal with Xena."
"Exactly? I'm counting on it."
"She's the best. She is the best warrior I ever trained. Sure she's taken to fighting for what she calls the "greater good" and I give her a little leeway. But I never let her stray too far away, she's always ready to fight creatures like you."
"And if she kills Hope, I guarantee, I will kill her."
"Say that again."
"It's a little deal I made with the fates. I swear you shouldn't entrust mankind to those bitches, they are so easy to maneuver. Let's say that there is a little fuzzy barb on Xena's lifeline that will catch if she kills Hope. When it catches, she will be dead."
"Xena will gladly die to stop Hope."
"And you will live forever with the knowledge that you could have saved her -- that is until all you gods lose your power during the reign of Dahak. Even then I think I will let you live on, let you think about how easy it would have been to save her."
"Easy?"
"And pleasurable. Hope is one fine woman."
"You keep telling me that."
"You should see my other daughters. She looks exactly like her mother. Some of the others resemble me."
I don't know why I even try to picture that. It is frightening. Maybe I am lucky that he is making me this deal -- with Hope. "I'm sure they are all beautiful." I sneer. I keep running the things he has told me through my head -- over and over -- they don't get any better.
"You're thinking too hard, Ares. Spots aren't going to change."
"What?"
"Never mind, I need a decision. NOW!"
"Let me get this straight. I impregnate your daughter Hope, and Xena lives. Right?"
"No-o-o-o-o-o-o. Not exactly. You're missing a few steps. You said Xena will 'gladly give her life to kill Hope.' You've got to stop her from doing that."
"I don't have that kind of power over Xena. I take it you have never heard of 'free will' where you come from?" He doesn't answer. He just sort of sits there quietly fermenting and decomposing.
"Isn't enough that you are getting my precious sperm in your bloodline. Think of the power I will bring to you."
"Any of your fellow gods would jump at the chance. I only came to you because you have the power over Xena -- or should I say Xena has the power over you." I grimace.
"She used to be my number one warrior. I think I've told you that she has strayed from my ways. I don't know what I can do to stop her. Probably nothing." I fumble for the words to construct these sentences, knowing that my influence over Xena grows smaller every day. Just today I saw the look of glee on her face when I materialized on the end of her sword. Maybe she really does want me dead.
"You're creative, Ares, I'm sure that you will think of something."
I'm thinking. Maybe if I don't have the power to stop her, Gabrielle does. Perhaps I can use my relationship with Gabrielle to protect Xena. She owes me for getting her to Chin ahead of Xena. I can't let this creature know.
"Ok, I'm in. And my cut is exactly?"
"Your cut is that you will live to father my grandchild. After that."
* * * *
I should have been an actor. The events of the next few days left no doubts in anyone's mind that I had changed sides, become an ally of Dahak, the God of darkness, who will lead mankind into a steady downward spiral. I convinced Gabrielle that Xena would die if she killed Hope, but she didn't seem any better equipped to stop her than I was. I should have known that. Her fiery independence is what I love most about Xena. I successfully impregnated Hope. On the outside she looked like Gabrielle, but on the inside she felt like the same slime that makes up her father. I'm not sure I will touch another woman for a long, long time. I pretended I was acting from power, when I never felt so powerless in my entire life.
I watched as people I had always thought of as insignificant performed heroic deeds to stop the evil Hope and her followers. That fumbling idiot Joxer showed what he really was, at a time when I was hiding every true feeling I have ever had. Fear will do that to you -- or at least it did it to me. It was only when I watched Gabrielle rush past Xena to keep her from killing Hope that I realized why I had become so angry with myself. The only thing I accomplished with this deal is that Xena is still alive, but to do that I traded anything that was in me that might have caused her to love me.
I realize now that it was a bad trade, I should have died fighting at her side.
When I disappeared from the temple that day, I did not know that it would be almost two years until I would see her again. I assumed Gabrielle was dead and Xena would be alone, Yet I knew that nothing I could do could bring her comfort. It was time for me to go away, stay away, and think about undoing what I had done. Whatever I can do to help her, I can't do it near her. I have to go, and I have to help stop Dahak.