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The Golden Whatsit
by Elflore
"Crichton! Just the being I wanted to see!"
John sighed. "What are you up to this time, Sparky?"
"Up to? Why nothing, of course not!" huffed Rygel. "Here, catch."
By pure reflex, Crichton did; something resembling a gilded softball, covered in tiny blinking lights. "What's this supposed to be? And why are you throwing it at me?"
Rygel was already spinning his thronesled about and heading out the door. Crichton had to jog after and drag him back into the room before he got anything close to an answer. "I don't know!"
"If you really didn't know, you'd hang onto it until you did," John said quietly; there was the barest hint of a threat in his voice. "You at least know enough not to want it, and you're going to tell me why that is, Guido."
"All right, all right! It's a Verinsyp!"
"A whatsit?"
"Don't you know *anything*, human?"
"No, I don't. That's why I'm asking you."
"A Verinsyp," Rygel repeated, slowly and acidly. "Every female wants one."
"And why is that?"
Rygel chuckled, low in his throat. "You know, there are times I almost pity your ignorance."
"Okay, just never mind. So now you're probably going to tell me that Aeryn, Zhaan and Chiana are all fighting over this thing?"
"You're *almost* smarter than you look, Crichton. Yes, they are. Some fahrbots trader down on that last commerce planet gave it to us, but said it could only belong 'to the fairest'. What the yotz was that supposed to mean?"
Crichton raised an eyebrow. "Sounds like one of those girls caught his eye..."
"If so, he could have been so kind as to mention which one. Instead, he passed this off to me to choose!"
"And the problem with that is...?"
"Use your remaining brain cell, Crichton! Whichever one I pick, the other two will want my head on their wall! But now…make that whichever one *you* pick."
With that, Rygel punched the thrusters on his hoverchair, and vanished down the corridor. Just as Zhaan came around the corner. John tried to hide the sphere behind his back, but not fast enough.
"Ah, Crichton. I see you've found the Verinsyp Rygel stole."
John kept his face carefully neutral, but that alone told Zhaan what had happened.
"He told you, didn't he?" John nodded, and she smiled faintly. "Very well. And I realize the choice, for you, is most likely a simple one. So allow me to complicate it. I have been considering, recently, the wormhole data the ancients implanted in your mind. I believe, through our shared bond of Unity, I might be able to draw that information out. And help you create a pathway home." Her smile turned predatory. "If I were so inclined, of course."
"I'll think about it," John promised. Just as Chiana appeared in the doorway with a predatory smile of her own, albeit one with a lot more mischief thrown in.
"And we'll take your complications as a given, Pip," John said, even before she could open her mouth.
She'd barely begun to pout when Aeryn appeared, striding briskly between the other two ladies. "John, I need a word with you. Alone."
"Yeah, sure, Aeryn. Of course."
Zhaan was already gliding away, confident and serene as ever. Chiana scowled petulantly for a moment before following.
"I don't suppose you're going to tell me just what this golden whatsit is used for, are you? Or why it's so valuable?"
"No."
John tugged at one ear, grinning impishly. "Well, you know....Zhaan and Chi have already made some...intriguing offers. How 'bout you, Aeryn? What this worth to ya?"
Aeryn grinned right back. "Simple, John. I won't break your neck."
John blinked, nodding thoughtfully. "Works for me!"
* * *
And that's how Aeryn Sun became the proud owner of a golden whatsit.
Oh, what was it for?
Let's just say John decided that night that he'd definitely made the correct decision.
And in the evil tradition of Farscape writers everywhere, that's....
THE END