SquidgeWorld Archive

Title: "Beautiful in Body and Soul"

Author: TheQueenly1, a.k.a. Darkover

Pairing: Buffy and Giles. If you dislike that, then don't read it.

Rating: FRC

Spoilers: Everything up to and including the conclusion of the series, as this takes place shortly after that. It may be slightly AU from that point onwards. This is my first, and probably last, attempt at a songfic.

Summary: Listening to a song compels Buffy and Giles to think about their relationship, and draws them to each other. Feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Disclaimer: As far as I know, all the characters of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" are owned by their creator, Joss Whedon. I do not own them; if I did, Buffy and Giles would have been together as a couple long ago, and the last two seasons of the series would have been very different. No infringement of copyright is intended or should be inferred. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery; please do not sue.

Author's Note: [Brackets] indicate unvoiced thoughts.

Dedication: I wrote this story in response to a challenge, which was to pair Buffy and Giles together, and to use the song "Beautiful Soul," by Jesse McCartney, in some way.

Buffy lay back on her bed and closed her eyes. "Live life as just a normal person," NOT! That had been Faith's prediction, but as usual, the once-rogue Slayer had not been right. The Sunnydale Hellmouth had been closed, which was of the good, but still all was not right with the world. The Potentialsâ€"for that was how Buffy still thought of themâ€"still had to be cared for, all the more because there was really no one else they could turn to except the Slayer and the Watcher.

Buffy and Giles still held those titles, because the Slayer abilities that had been magically induced in the Potentials to enable them to fight the final battle had turned out to be temporary. At first Buffy had felt somewhat disappointed, as it meant she could not "retire" after all. In retrospectâ€"she smiled a little: [Retrospect. How's that for a Giles-word?], she thought that might not be a bad thing. Did she really want to see someone like Kennedy wielding a Slayer's full strength and power, especially when these young girls no longer had their own Watchers to guide and temper them?

Watchers. Giles. Giles was more important than ever right now, because he was one of the very few Watchers left alive on the planet. At least it meant that he now had a lot of money at his disposal, which was also of the good, if you looked at it in a practical, cold-blooded way. It seemed to Buffy she had to look at things from that perspective a lot lately. [Wouldn't you be proud, Travers?] she though sardonically. Giles had been able to fund a new school for the Potentials, with Robin Wood as the principal and Faith as the most important member of the faculty. Buffy had been very happy, and relieved, that there was a place in all these arrangements for Faith as well as for the Potentials. Faith might be a Slayer, but emotionally she was still barely capable of taking care of herself.
It was a good thing that Faith and Robin Wood got along so well; he seemed to be able to influence her in a way that no one else ever had.

All that aside, though, Buffyâ€"although she never would have believed this in the pastâ€"was glad that she was still the Slayer, capital letter, as in one-girl-in-all-the-world, thank you. Okay, Faith was a Slayer, too, but there was no longer any doubt in anyone's mind who the Alpha Slayer was. Buffy had been humbled by her experience prior to the final battle with the being that had called itself the First Evil, but she had also emerged from it both a stronger person and as the acknowledged leader. Or rather, she and Giles, Slayer and Watcher, were clearly regarded as the leaders. Everyone had turned to Buffy for decisions following the closing of the Sunnydale Hellmouth, and Buffy found herself turning frequently to Giles for help in making those decisions. She had always needed Giles, had missed him sorely during that period he had not been in her life, and hoped now they would never be parted again.

That, bottom line, was why she was so glad still to be the Slayer: because it meant that Giles was once again her Watcher. Every time Buffy looked at Gilesâ€"and she had been looking at him a lot latelyâ€"she could not believe that she had once taken this smart, strong, kind, brave, witty, dedicated, *sexy* British-guy for granted. This was a man who had literally existed to serve her, and she had never truly appreciated it until he was gone.

[Well, I'll never do that again,] she vowed, sitting up on the bed. She would be the best Slayer she could possibly be, so Giles would never leave again. Deep down, in a part of her that was so vulnerable she had never spoken of it to anyone, she desperately wished that Giles would want her. [In a man-woman, couple-y kind of way.] She could hardly believe now that she had ever mooned over Angel or been attracted to Riley, when there had been so much yummy British goodness available. As for Spike, he had never been anything more than an extremely poor substitute for what she really wanted; she had known even at the time that her relationship with the blond vampire was a very unhealthy one. [But Giles will never want me now. Why should he? I'm not worthy of him, not after the way I treated him. Not after being with Spike.]

Someone in the house had turned a radio or stereo on. Notes from an unfamiliar song drifted into Buffy's bedroom. She found herself listening to the lyrics: "I don't want another pretty face/ I don't want just anyone to hold/ I don't want my love to go to waste/ I want you and your beautiful soul..."

[That's right. With Angel, Riley, and Spike, I was settling for beautiful faces, or just someone to hold. But I *was* letting my love go to waste...]

"You're the one I want to chase/ You're the one I want to hold/ I won't let another minute go to waste/ I want you and your beautiful soul."

[Beautiful soul. That's an excellent description of Giles. Sure, he's got smarts and a sexy body, too, but it's his kindness, his decency, his beautiful *soul* that makes him so attractive. And unlike Angel, I'd never have to worry about him losing it. It doesn't matter, though, does it? I'll never have him the way I want him. I don't deserve him.]

Thinking these unhappy thoughts, the Slayer began silently to cry.

Meanwhile, the music floated into another bedroom just across the hall, where her Watcher was also listening to the lyrics.

"I know that you are something special..."

[Is anyone more special than Buffy?] Giles thought. [I am so proud that she is my Slayer. I'm so glad we have renewed our Watcher-Slayer bond. I just wish she would see me as a man as well...a man who loves her...]

"To you I'd be always faithful..."

[Yes. Both as a Watcher and as a man, Buffy, I shall be faithful to you unto death. I will never leave you again. I'll stay as long as you'll have me.]

"I want to be what you always needed..."

[God, yes. I do. I just wish that you needed me in that way.]

"Then I hope you'll see the heart in me..."

[My heart has been yours, Buffy, from the moment I first met you. I wish that you would see that I am in love with you, as a man loves a woman...]

So intent was he on these half-happy, half-despondent thoughts that Giles scarcely listened to the chorus of the song. The following words again captured his attention;
"You might need time to think it over/ But I'm just fine moving forward/ I'll ease your mind/ If you give me the chance/ I will never make you cry, c'mon, let's try..."

[That's true. Perhaps if tell Buffy about my feelings for her, give her time to get used to the idea, she might respondâ€"might let the relationship move forward. Unlike Angel, Riley, Spike, or any of those other prats, I would never willingly make her cry. Yes, I must do it. I'll go talk to her. Now.]

Giles stood up before he could lose his nerve, and started for the door.

In her bedroom across the hall, Buffy was still listening to the song, fascinated by how the lyrics seemed to apply to her situation.

"Am I crazy for wanting you/ Baby do you think you could want me too..."

[Maybe I *am* crazy, but even with his hyper-developed sense of duty, would Giles stick around with someone he didn't care about? I may have been around the block a few times, but Giles has never been a judgmental person. Maybe he would want me too, if I just talked to him about it...]

"I don't waste your time..."

[I don't, not any more. Time is so limited, and the people we love so preciousâ€"I've finally realized that. I don't play games any more.]

Excitedly, Buffy got up off the bed and headed for the door.

Buffy's hand rested on her doorknob and Giles' on his, as they listened to the next words of the song; "Do you see things the way I do/ I just want to know that you feel it too/ There is nothing left to hide..."

[Nothing left to hide,] both Slayer and Watcher thought, as they firmly turned their respective doorknobs and strode out into the hall.

They walked right into each other, each one automatically putting out her and his arms to steady the other. Finding themselves in each others' arms, they blinked at each other. The chorus of the song played twice more, the music swelling around them.

"Buffyâ€""

"Gilesâ€""

"I love you!" they said to each other simultaneously. Then, to the words, "Your beautiful soul, yeah," they were kissing each other ardently.

From her position at the end of the hall, Willow smiled and quietly retreated, turning off the music as she did so. Sometimes, magic wasn't a matter of casting a spell; it was a matter of using whatever elements were at your disposal. A popular song, for example. Buffy and Giles could thank herâ€"and Jesse McCartneyâ€"in the morning.