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Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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Published:
2020-11-05
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1,559
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1/1
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15
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989

Don't Fight It

Summary:

Claire's too nervous to sleep, but her friends help her feel safe.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Promise.
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Archive: Feel free, but drop me a line and let me know.

Work Text:

It was late. Most people were sleeping, including Aaron in his makeshift cradle, but not Claire. Not that she didn't want to - her eyes were stinging and her limbs ached with tiredness. She was shivering, more from exhaustion than cold or fear, and her blood was pounding a steady rhythm at her temples. But she knew better. This place was dangerous, and bad things happened if you fell asleep. Claire had a baby to protect; she had to keep on the lookout. She had to stay awake.

She took a deep breath and forced her eyes wide open. Daytime was different, she could ask Sun or Rose to watch Aaron while she dozed for a few hours, but not right now . . .
Her eyes were getting heavier and with each blink they seemed to stay closed a little longer. She felt her shivering subside a little, and her headache began to ease.
No! She shook herself awake and sat up. What was she thinking? She couldn't sleep, not yet. She concentrated on the warm amber remnants of the fire. If she tried hard enough, maybe she could see pictures in the weak flames. Several glowing embers drifted upwards like tiny fireflies, and Claire made herself count them. If she found something to focus on, perhaps she could hold out for a few more hours.

"You know, I hear counting sheep is a classic." Michael's coffee-coloured eyes twinkled in the firelight. Claire smiled.
"Yep, tried and true. But I've always been an individual," she quipped. Michael chuckled softly and moved to sit next to her.
"Trouble sleeping, huh? I'd offer to sing to you, but I don't want to give you nightmares." Claire stifled a yawn.
"Thanks, but it's the opposite problem. I'm just. . ." she sighed and looked over at Aaron. He was, she noted with envy, sleeping peacefully. "It's not safe here," she concluded sadly.
Michael's expression was one of understanding. He smiled kindly at her.
"Tell you what. Why don't you get some rest and let me watch him for a while?" Claire bit her lip.
"I don't know. I mean, it's not that I don't trust you, but -" Michael put a gentle hand on her arm.
"Claire, you can't keep doing this to yourself, you're exhausted. Come on," he repositioned the rolled up sweater she used as a pillow and motioned for her to lie down. "You need your rest."
Claire lay down on her blanket and felt Michael's warm hand on her back. "It'll be okay, I promise." She nodded, and closed her eyes. She wanted to be able to believe him. "I understand, you know," he continued. "That fear. Take your eyes off 'em for one second and that's it. I know what it's like to be worried all the time." He rubbed softly between her shoulder blades, and noticed that some of the tension seemed to leave her troubled face. "But you gotta take care of yourself, okay? He needs you to be strong. That's it, don't fight it," he soothed as her eyelids fluttered. "Don't fight it. Go to sleep."

He ran his hand slowly up and down her back. The poor girl was wrecked. He'd watched her for a few days now, getting shaky and pale. She was terrified - not that he blamed her. He'd been living in a state of constant anxiety since their arrival on the island. Sure, Walt wasn't exactly a helpless baby - but he was still just a kid, and Michael had to keep him safe. He knew he couldn't afford to neglect that responsibility, couldn't forget even for a moment, not here. It was a pressure no-one else understood - except Claire.

She was sleeping now, but Michael stayed where he was, craning his neck to look for Walt.
"Hey Dad." Michael jumped. Walt had crept up behind him without Michael noticing.
"Hey man, you scared me. How come you're out of bed?" Walt shrugged.
"What're you doing?"
"Claire's not sleeping so good - she's a little nervous. I thought I'd stay with her for a while, try to help her feel better," Michael answered. Walt sat down, cross-legged in his oversize cutoffs, and looked sideways at him.
"Can I help?"
"You know what, you can. You wanna stay with her while I go to the bathroom?"
"Okay." Walt moved so that he was facing Claire, his back to the fire. He wasn't sure if it was just a trick of the light, but as Michael glanced back at him from the cave's exit, Walt thought his Dad looked kind of nervous too.

Walt turned his attention back to Claire, and watched her face as she slept. She must have been having a bad dream - she kept wincing and twitching. He frowned and picked up her hand, holding it in both of his. He didn't want her to be scared.
Claire was shaking a little, and her eyes were tightly closed. She gasped, and for a second Walt thought she'd scream, but instead she awoke with a start. She blinked and peered up at him.
"Walt? What are you doing here?" she asked. Walt grinned proudly.
"I'm taking care of you while my Dad's gone. You were having a nightmare, but I'll keep you safe."
Claire smiled sleepily, and pulled him down to lie next to her.
"That's very chivalrous of you."
"What's that mean?"
"Sort of brave and noble - like a knight."
"Cool."
"Yeah."
They lay there for a while, watching as the occasional dark wisp of cloud failed to obscure the moon. The luminous orb cast a glow on Walt's pensive face.
"Hey Claire? Can I ask you something?"
"A brave knight like you can ask anything you want."
"My Dad said you couldn't sleep 'cause you were scared. But . . . what are you so afraid of?" Claire brushed a mosquito away from her cheek and considered her answer.
"I guess I'm afraid something will happen to Aaron if I'm not watching him. He's so little; he can't take care of himself yet." Walt looked at her.
"Yeah, he is little. But he's got everyone else here watching him too - he can't get hurt with this many people around," he reasoned.
Claire met his gaze and wondered if she should keep talking. It wasn't really fair to put all this on a ten year old. . . .but something in Walt's face told her to say what was really worrying her.
"I know. But it's not just that - we don't know how long we're going to be here for. I'm worried he'll miss out on all the things other kids do. I mean, he won't go to school, for a start." Walt laughed.
"He's lucky! He'll never have to do homework. Or learn fractions. But there are lots of people here who can teach him everything he needs to know. I bet he'll be the smartest kid in the world."
Claire pulled the blanket up to her shoulders, and tucked the other half of it around Walt.
"You think so?"
"Yep. Jin'll teach him to fish. Dad will teach him to draw. He can learn about all kinds of art - and buildings too, my Dad knows all about architecture. Charlie can teach him to sing and play guitar. Sun can teach him about plants and stuff - hey, I bet he could learn Korean too! And Sayid could teach him to speak Arabic and build things. Sawyer's got lots of books, maybe he can teach Aaron to read . . . actually, he'd probably suck as a teacher. Maybe Mr Locke can teach him instead, he's pretty smart." Walt nodded, satisfied with the plan. Claire smiled, trying unsuccessfully to hide her bemusement.
"And what about you, what will you teach him?" she asked.
"Lots of things. I'll teach him to swim, to throw a ball, to build a sandcastle - no, a fort, we'll build a really cool fort when he's old enough. Oh, and I'll teach him to burp the alphabet." Claire laughed.
"That's disgusting! How do you know how to do that?"
"Hurley taught me. He's going to teach me to do the anthem next; he says it's important to be proud of your country."
"Yeah, I'll have to remember to thank him for that one," Michael's voice sounded from the cave's entrance as he approached. "Hey, you feeling better?" he asked Claire.
"Absolutely," she replied. "Especially since Walt did such a good job looking after me. I think I'll sleep really well now."
Michael leant over to ruffle Walt's hair, then stretched out on Claire's other side.
"Sounds like a plan, I'm pretty beat myself." He yawned and stretched his arms over his head. "'Night guys."
"Goodnight. And thanks, both of you," Claire said softly.
Michael and Claire fell asleep quickly, but Walt lay awake for several minutes. He was about to drift off when he heard Aaron begin to whimper. He didn't want the baby to wake Claire, so he crept over to the cradle and rocked it gently.
"Hey, Aaron. You have to stay asleep. Claire - I mean, your Mom - is real tired. Besides, you've got a big day tomorrow - you have lots of cool stuff to learn, and we really gotta get started. So go to sleep now, okay?" He kept rocking the little cradle, and watched as Aaron's eyes closed. "That's it, close your eyes. Don't fight it. Sleep."