Work Text:
Visit to a Sick Friend
by Anna S
"Hey....You came back! You have no idea how much I appreciate you visiting me. It's hard trying to keep my mind occupied lyin' in this hospital bed. Hutch has been here and there, trying to get a bead on the fuckin'asshole (pardon my language, I just can't think of him as anything else) who put me here and I don't have a lot of people to talk to."
"I guess I'm a little bitter. Hutch says I take these setbacks better than he does, but things get me down sometimes. Did you know I almost died? Yeah, I suppose it was in the papers. I'll haveta tell ya sometime how that felt. I do remember bits and pieces of what was going on, but they're a little scrambled right now. I'm sure I've got plenty of time to think about it, though. I guess I coulda lived with dying, so to speak. but they had a hit out on Hutch, too. Now that I just can't let go of."
"Oh, some of the guys from work come see me, but I feel light years away from police work right now and that's about all they can think to talk about....I feel really embarrassed around them....having thoughts that are guaranteed to get me shipped back to Cabrillo....for good this time!"
"Yeah, you told me you've followed our careers for a long time. Never dawned on me that we had any fans out there. Makes me feel a little bit like a movie star or something. Good to feel like somebody cares, though. There was this newspaperwoman who wrote about us once, but most of it was plenty raw and didn't paint a very pretty picture, at least not at first."
"Sounds almost like you have a crush on us. A year ago, I'd have jumped on that. I gotta say I'm really flattered, but me and Hutch are pretty tight. We had a falling-out over a woman, and I use the term loosely, not too long ago and haven't dated much since. Guess I won't be ready for action for a long time now."
"Ya know, I don't know you as well as you know me, but I feel like I can be honest with you somehow. You'll probably go screamin' out of the room, but I was wond'ring what you thought of guys who're....well, homosexual. We had a case....good friend of ours, in fact. I'd known him for years....he was kinda like a father to me. Anyway, turned out he was gay and nobody had a clue. I didn't handle it as well as Hutch did. He's really somethin'. Doesn't judge people....I try not to, but this one was hard to understand. The guy had a wonderful wife....grown kids. You know....his wife even knew about it and stuck by 'im. Really made me wonder how I'd have taken it if he'd come to me and told me."
"You know....the minute I woke up in this damned bed, the first time on my mind was my partner. I thought they'd gotten him, too. But he was right there....looked a little like he'd been on a week-long binge....but there, just like always. I never have to worry about him. Oh....I mean I worry about him....but I know he'll always be nearby somewhere."
"Yep, close is an understatement. It's hard to remember a time when he wasn't there. And that's what's got me thinkin'. I had a dream the other night. You wouldn't think I'd be fantasizing about being intimate with anybody feeling the way I do, but it dragged me out of a sound sleep, sheets soaking wet. One of the nurses came in and I had a lot of explaining to do. She thought I'd wet the bed or worse."
"You've seen Hutch. He's gorgeous." (chuckles) "And he doesn't even realize it. Most guys who looked like that would be arrogant and self-centered as hell. You ever see another guy with hair that color? S'like a sunbeam lit there and just liked it so much that it decided to stay. Guess that sounds a little fruity, doesn't it? But it's beautiful! Lights up the whole room."
"You like my curls? They're all right, part of my Jewish heritage, but it's kinda frustrating the way they stick up all over the place if I don't comb 'em all the time."
"Hey, I went with my dad ice-fishing when I was kid....the sun was out and the top layer of ice was melting and had this kind of gleam to it. The sky was so blue and the reflection on the ice made it look just like diamond crystals. It was beautiful and I never forgot it. Hutch's eyes look just like that, except they have more depth to 'em. God, I can crawl into those eyes and explore for days. When he's angry, watch out. They flash like a couple a stars goin' nova at the same time. You don't wanta be the one on the other end of that. Most of the time, though, they're soft and gentle. He's got kind of a mean streak at times. But when he pulls a trick on ya, you look into his eyes and they say 'hey, just lettin' off steam. Don't think this means I don't love you'. We can say a lot of things with just our eyes."
"Sometimes he thinks I talk too much. He probably kinda liked me being in a coma, 'cause he could say what he wanted to without being interrupted. And he talked to me a lot. I don't remember all he said, but I know he did. I could hear him on some level. He prayed, too. I know Hutch doesn't have a strong religious background, but I know he believes in some form of higher power, although he probably would deny it if you asked him."
"Did you ever notice his hands? He's got big hands....hands that can subdue a perp, cause a lot of pain and even kill. We touch a lot and it's gotten us a reputation, but I love the feel of his hands....on my shoulders, my back, my hair. When things have been rough, he's taken me in his arms and just held me, comforting....rubbing circles on my back and murmuring things I sometimes don't even understand. Nothing makes me feel better, but lately I've imagined those big hands in other, more intimate places....rubbing, caressing tenderly and even forcefully doing things that make me feel like nothing I've ever experienced before. See what I mean? I'm headed for a straightjacket for sure."
"You know....I think I know where this is going. It hurts like hell, 'cause I know nothing can ever come of it. Hutch is as straight as they come. But I think it's love....I know love's been a big chunk of our partnership ever since we met. Never expected to find myself in love with him....wanting to do things to him that would light up my world with fireworks, but I guess fate has a real sense of humor. I've always consider myself a ladies man....and now I want nothing more than to make sweet love to my partner.
Love's a little near-sighted, if not stone blind....guess I'll just keep worshipping him from afar-r-r-r."
The dark-haired detective softly began to snore and pulling the blanket up over his shoulders, I left him.
I peeked around the curtain where, unbeknownst to his partner, Hutch had been resting in the other bed. He got up and kissing me on the cheek, whispered "thanks" with a big grin and a wink. Then he took the chair I'd been sitting in and tenderly held his partner's hand in his.
I have to admit, I stayed outside the door for a minute to eavesdrop.
I had to strain my ears to hear it, but it made me smile.
"Sleep well, Starsk....you're in for a pleasant surprise when you wake up."
I found myself wishing that I could be there when those midnight-blue eyes opened again.
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