Chapter Text
All This Time
by Little Wing
Staring on the old dock in silence she watched the waves of the sea crash into each other as they made their way to the soft white sand of the beach. The slight movement of the old dock was almost the same being aboard a ship like the Vast Explorer, almost. The wind raking through her dark tresses and the smell of the fresh salt water were what was missing from this dock. She had been away for far too long. It was more than the ship that missed. She missed her friends. Over the past four years she'd wished so many times that she hadn't left and that she hadn't flaunted every man she'd had in front of the one man she really wanted but never dared to have; Judson Cross.
Nearly every night over the past few years she'd dreamt of him. She could almost feel his strong arms around her, holding her safe. That was funny, Judson making her feel safe. Maybe it wasn't even safety that she wanted or needed, perhaps it was that she felt at home with him. Every man before Judson and every man that came after him had been flings, some more serious than other, but flings none the less.
It had been for his safety that she didn't come back from her last free lance mission. She had never planned to leave them behind, but when the mission was over she knew that there was no she could go back. At first she told her good old pal Jay Canfield to find an abyss and fall in, but when the paying price went up along with expunging her name from every one of his files she decided that it was in her best interest to take the job.
Judson had been hurt when she told she was leaving to do a job for the CIA, and Gabe had retreated from the argument they had. Mackenzie never once thought that they were right, getting her name taken from the files that Canfield had was more important to her. But thinking of the consequences for her actions wasn't always her strong suit. She hated that she'd acted so impulsively.
She never intended to stay away for so long. The first two years she stayed away to keep them safe from the psycho Canfield had sent her to kill. But these last two, nearly three, she'd stayed away out of her own fear of how they would react to her sudden reappearance. After everything they'd been through with Merrill there was no way she could do that to them again.
Sighing Mackenzie slowly left the comfortable rocking rhythm of the dock. They would be in port soon. Tomorrow she would pay them a visit and take whatever it is that they have to say to her, but they would know why she did it.
****
She'd never been more afraid in her life as she was right then, walking up to the ship that was sitting in the same spot as the red one she'd called home. This ship wasn't red; it was blue. The yellow letters along the side identified her as the Vast Explorer II. It was a little bit bigger than the original. Seeing the new ship and spotting a couple of unfamiliar figures at her bow, brought an uneasy smile to her lips. They had moved on. What had she really expected anyway? They weren't the type to just sit back and wait for her to show and explain everything to them.
"Can I help you?" A young girl with long dark braids asked from the ship.
"I'm sorry?" Why was she so damn nervous? They were her friends, or at least they had been. They would want to see her, or least they would want to know what happened.
"Can I help you?" The girl repeated obviously annoyed by having to repeat herself.
"I'm looking for Judson Cross and Gabriel Patterson. Is either of them on board?" No going back now, she thought as she saw the girl react quickly to the names by running off.
She shouldn't have come. There was still too much danger. She was still too recognizable despite having shorter died hair and colour contacts. The man after her was sure to recognize her if he got a good look at her and Mac was more than sure that he'd be staking out her friends to see if she'd show up.
"What can I do for you?" A voice in front of her jarred her attention back to her surroundings. The voice was a little harder than she remembered it but she knew who the voice belonged to before she even looked up to see his face. He was still very handsome, side from a faded scare on his left cheek.
"I like the new boat, Gabe." She moved closer to the gang plank.
"Excuse me," he said put off by the comment and use of his name. "Do I know you?"
"I hope that you didn't forget me."
"If you're here for Allie," he began but stopped to regain control of his temper. Taking a deep breath he stepped closer to the woman at the end of gangplank. "Mackenzie?" He could hardly believe his eyes. After four years of wondering and there she was standing before him.
"Yes." She smiled, relaxing a little with his recognition. "Who's Allie?" It was too soon to joke with him about all the girl friends he used to have.
"My daughter." He was defensive again.
end