Chapter Text
Abandoned 01
by Ceindreadh
Stella finished collecting the evidence from the woman in front of her and closed up her C.S.I. kit. Jane Locke was being investigated following the shooting of her husband, but from the evidence that Stella had collected, it appeared that it might well have been self-defense. Stella knew that she would have to confirm this with the evidence Mac was collecting from the husband, who was also being treated in the hospital.
"Thank you, Mrs. Locke," said Stella, before leaving the woman to be taken care of by the nurse. Mac was waiting for her outside the door.
"Got everything?" asked Mac.
Stella nodded, "She's got bruises all over her, Mac. Some of them days, maybe even weeks old."
"You're thinking self defense?"
"Wouldn't be the first time."
"Well let's see what the evidence says."
Stella looked at her watch, "It's nearly lunchtime. I was thinking of dropping in on Flack for a quick visit."
"Say hello to him for me," said Mac.
Stella looked at him in surprise. "You're not going to see him?"
"Have to get the evidence back to the lab, get it processed."
"A few minutes delay isn't going to compromise it." Stella was frowning as she looked at Mac.
"We can't know that for sure." Mac shifted his case to his other hand. "In any case, they only allow one visitor at a time in I.C.U., and I'm pretty sure he'd consider you better company."
"Don was moved to a step down ward two days ago. Mac, what the hell is going on? The first night he was here we couldn't drag you away, and now you're making excuses to not see him. What's wrong with you?"
"Nothing's wrong. Look Stella, go see Flack or not. I'll be at the lab." With that, Mac turned and walked away. He could feel Stella's eyes on him as he walked down the corridor, but he knew he couldn't explain to her why he wouldn't visit Don. No, why he *couldn't* visit him. Not now that Don was awake. Stella had been right, they had practically had to drag him away from Don that first night, and even then he had only left the Detective's side long enough to relieve himself or grab something to eat. Mac had stayed there the whole night long, talking to Don, trying to get him to respond beyond the simple squeezing of his hand. Mac had practically begged Don to wake up; knowing that he couldn't bear to lose another loved one.
And that was the problem. Mac loved Don. He didn't know how or when it had happened, but when he had seen Don lying bleeding under all the debris and been faced with the very real prospect of watching him die, Mac knew that he loved him and couldn't bear to lose him.
And that was why he couldn't go near him again. When Claire had died, a part of Mac had died inside as well. He had managed to drag himself out of that black place eventually, but he had promised himself that he would never allow another person into his heart that way again.
The first time he had gone for a drink with Don, it had never occurred to him that anything would come of it. It had been a stressful shift for both of them. Don had found out that the cop who had trained him, who had taught him everything he needed to survive on the streets, had tampered with evidence. Mac had been the one to prove it, and he wouldn't have blamed Don if the Detective had chosen to throw his offer of a drink back in his face. But Don had obviously needed somebody to talk to, somebody to get drunk with, somebody who knew just how hard a struggle it had been to realize that his mentor had feet of clay. Mac had been there for him, and a few months later, Don had been there when Mac had had a particularly bad day.
Their relationship had grown from there. Don was there when Mac needed him, and vice versa. And that was as far as it went. Until today. Seeing Don lying there, barely conscious, blood pouring out of him. Mac knew that their relationship had become something he hadn't expected...hadn't hoped for. After Claire, Mac didn't think he was capable of loving somebody the same way again. After losing her, Mac didn't *want* to feel that way about anybody again, and to realize that he felt that way about Don, and had nearly lost him... Mac knew that if Don had died, another part of him would have died as well. He'd barely survived Claire's loss, a second such loss, no, he wasn't going to take that chance. Better to keep Don at a distance, to deny the way he felt about the younger man. Better to close off his heart completely, because to open it to love meant opening it to the pain of losing that love.
Don will move on, thought Mac. He was young, he'd recover from his injuries, get back to work, and sooner or later he'd find somebody else to be with. It wasn't as if Don was in love with him. He'd find the right person and when that day came, Mac was sure he'd be happy for him.
Mac just wished he could convince himself of that.
To be continued