SquidgeWorld Archive

"Don!" Mac spotted Don half covered by debris. Ignoring his own aches and pains, he hurried to the Detective's side. He cleared the debris away, sinking to his knees beside Don at the sight of the gaping bleeding hole in Don's abdomen. Instinct took over as he checked Don's pulse. "Stay with me Don, I'm gonna get you out of this." But the blood just kept flowing and he could feel Don's pulse growing weaker and weaker.

"Dammit Don, don't do this to me!" Mac was yelling at him now. "Stay with me Don!" He took Don's hand in his. "Squeeze my hand Don, if you can hear me, squeeze my hand." But even as he spoke the words, he knew that it was too late...again. Dropping Don's hand, Mac started pounding furiously on his chest, "Dammit Don, don't do this to me, don't leave me like this!"

"DON!" Mac sat up in the bed, his heart pounding furiously. "Don!" His whole body was covered in sweat, which rapidly cooled in the chill night air. Mac was breathing heavily as if he'd been running a mile.

Mac drew his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. He let his head fall to his knees as he tried to get his breathing under control, but all he could see when he closed his eyes was the aftermath of the bombing, with Don lying bleeding to death in front of him. He knew that no matter how hard he tried; he'd never be able to blot that image from his mind completely. Scrub as hard as he might, the blood would still be on his hands. "Don," he said softly, almost to himself.

The light touch of a hand on his back almost made him jump and he looked around to see Don lying beside him and looking at him sleepily. "You okay there, Mac?"

In reply, Mac lay back down and wrapped himself around Don. His hands roamed over Don's body, his mouth fastened itself on Don's lips. He breathed in, enjoying the scent of his lover. It was as if he needed to reassure himself with all of his senses that this was the real Don and not just another nightmare.

Mac could feel himself slowly relaxing as Don's arms encircled him. Here with Don, it was about the only place he *could* relax completely. Mac sometimes wished he could stay there forever.

"Another nightmare?" Don's voice broke through Mac's thoughts.

"The usual one." Mac moved around until he could look Don in the eye. "You're dying in front of me and there's not a damn thing I can do to stop it."

"You know that's not what happened, Mac. You're the one who saved my life. If it hadn't been for you, I'd be pushing up daisies right about now."

"You shouldn't have been there in the first place. I should have ordered you out of the building while *I* cleared it. Gotten you out of harms way."

"Now just hold on there a minute," said Don. He pushed Mac away slightly. "Clearing that building was as much my responsibility as yours. My badge might not be as shiny as yours but it still says 'protect and serve'. Mac, I don't need you treating me with no kid gloves just cause you and me have something going together. I don't need no special treatment." Don let go of Mac and rolled onto his back, staring at the ceiling. "I had enough of that from my old man when I joined the force." He paused before continuing, "And if being with you is gonna make you treat me differently on the job..."

"How can I *not* treat you differently, Don?" Mac propped himself up on one elbow so he could look Don in the eye. "Dammit Don, you nearly died...I had my hands in your belly and it nearly wasn't enough. I don't know if I could survive losing somebody else that I love, and if that makes me want to keep you safe and out of harms way, I don't know what to do about it apart from making sure we never work the same cases again." He reached out and traced the line of the scar on Don's cheek. "I don't want to lose you Don...*ever*..."

Don caught Mac's hand in his, "Say that again."

"I don't want to lose you..."

"Not that bit...the bit about losing somebody you love..."

Mac raised Don's hand to his lips and kissed it before saying, "I love you Don, I don't think I realized just how much until I thought I'd lost you. And I will do everything in my power to keep you safe."

"Don't you get it Mac? We're cops...doing what we do, and I love being a cop. But it's never gonna be a 'safe' line of work." Don pulled Mac into his arms, "But when you've got my back, I know I always feel a hell of a lot safer."

"Then I'll always have your back."

And he did.