Work Text:
Disclaimer: The characters from the show aren't mine, they belong to others. No copyright infringement intended. Any characters you don't recognize are mine. Feedback would be nice, positive feedback would be nicer. Enjoy!
Category: NCIS humor/gen ficlet
Rating: Anyone
Characters: Gibbs/Dinozzo/Ducky/Abby
Series: No
Spoilers: None. Not canon
Summary: Jethro works on his boat until he suffers a lapse of concentration.
Archive: Just tell me where it's going
Additional 'stuff': I made the hospital name up. I won't promise a sequel. I might not write one. I like the idea of Jethro having a closet full of non-Sears stuff. Just not necessarily his...
Title: Clothing maketh the man...and the woman
Gibbs basement...late evening
Gibbs tucked the phone under his chin and hammered in a wooden peg.
'No Tony, I didn't bring your report with me. I'll sign it in the morning!' Gibbs snapped, lifting a length of timber from the steamer onto the workbench.
'Boss!' Tony whined. 'You've had a whole week!'
'Tony, tomorrow, okay?!' Gibbs snapped, moving the timber towards him. Still damp from the steam, it slid easily, almost falling to the floor. Stretching to hold it, Gibbs slipped on a patch of condensation and fell backwards, his head impacting the shelf behind.
'Boss? Boss?? Boss??!!' Tony had heard the odd sounds, but couldn't hear anything now except Gibbs' uneven breathing.
Moments later, Tony was running to the door, grabbing his keys, ending the call and dialing Ducky.
**********************************
Tony parked the car in a space just big enough that he didn't have to take time straightening the car to the curbside. He locked the car and ran into the house. 'Gibbs?!'
He ran through the living room, into the kitchen and made his way down the wooden stairs. As he got halfway down, he could see Jethro laying on his side, curled up, head oozing blood from a gash on his temple. He knelt down and squeezed Gibbs' shoulder gently. 'Hey boss...c'mon...open your eyes.'
Jethro groaned softly and blinked several times before he focused on Tony. 'What...what...happened?'
'Anthony? Jethro?' Ducky's voice came from the basement doorway and Tony turned.
'Down here Ducky!'
'I guess you fell boss...hit your head?'
Jethro sighed and tried to sit up, but Tony's hand held him in place. 'Keep still boss, let Ducky check you over.' Tony leaned down, smelled Gibbs' breath. He knew bourbon was the boss's poison of choice but he smelt only sawdust and mint.
Jethro scowled but stayed in place. Ducky knelt down, snapped on some gloves and gestured to the shelf at the far end of the basement. 'First aid kit if you please Tony.'
Tony got up, retrieved the large silver plastic box and handed it to Ducky, who spoke quietly with Jethro, discovering that Jethro didn't remember speaking to Tony, falling, or hitting his head.
********************************
Gibbs absolutely refused to go to the ER, concerned he would have to stay overnight. Ducky stared him down until Gibbs gave in. With one condition. He was *not* wearing one of those stupid blue gowns. He wanted his own stuff. Ducky agreed and, climbing in the back of the ambulance with Gibbs, Ducky gave Tony instructions to bring some suitable clothing to the hospital.
When Jethro realized what had just happened, he had to be restrained from jumping out of the moving vehicle.
******************************
Jethro's house, a short time later...
Tony walked into Gibbs' bedroom, crossed the floor, opened the closet and...stared. 'Well this isn't in the Sears Autumn collection.'
He selected a pile of undershirts, shirts, pants and socks from the shelves and drawers and looked around. 'Underwear...underwear...oh.'
His laughter echoed around the room.
*******************************
St Catherine's Hospital...later
'Can you tell me how you fell Sir?'
Jethro flinched as the doctor - younger than McGee by a decade in his estimation - probed his scalp. 'I slipped in my basement.'
'Have you had anything to drink today Sir?' The young doctor gulped as his patient stared him down. 'Um...just give me a minute...okay?' He almost ran from the room.
A couple of minutes later Ducky strode back into the room and stared down at Jethro. 'Leroy Jethro Gibbs...'
Jethro was sitting on the bed, head in his hands, shoulders slumped.
Ducky's expression softened and he crossed to the bed. 'Jethro?'
'He knows.' Jethro sighed.
Ducky couldn't help his smile. 'It had to happen sometime Jethro.'
Jethro scowled. 'Get me outta here Duck!'
Ducky made a sweeping gesture with his hand and Jethro slid off the table, scowling as he followed Ducky out.
**********************************
Tony was waiting in the car and Jethro looked around before he got in the car.
'Where's my stuff?'
Tony didn't turn around as Ducky started the car. 'Oh, I didn't bring anything. I figured if they kept you in, I'd go back for it.'
Jethro frowned, looked at Ducky, who shrugged.
'So you...didn't look in my closets?' Jethro asked lightly, as if he didn't care one way or the other.
'Nah.' Tony shook his head as Ducky pulled into the traffic.
Jethro took a deep breath and settled into the seat, closed his eyes and thought about what to do.
Tony knew.
Jethro knew he knew.
Ducky knew he knew.
He was never, ever, ever going to hear the end of it. Over and over, little subtle hints, taunts, digs. He didn't care about himself. It wasn't about him and for now, Tony had the upper hand.
******************************
As they let Tony out of the car and watched him walk into his apartment building, Jethro began planning a way to get it back. Moving into the passenger seat of Ducky's Morgan, he dialed. 'Abbs...Gibbs...yeah...I know...can you...get out of there?'
End