Work Text:
Slippery Slope
by Kellygirl
The job is what matters. It's taken over his life or, rather, he's given most of his life to it gladly. After his last wife walks out the door, he realizes that the only constant he needs is his job. He has time to work on his boat and have the occasional dinner with Liz. They're friends, good friends, because he doesn't want more and neither does she.
Gibbs knows people fear him and he could care less. It amuses him most times and he'll use it if necessary. He respects those that talk back to him, those who look him in the eye. He hires DiNozzo for that reason. DiNozzo plays good cop to his bad cop with seamless accuracy. The boy has skills and Gibbs makes himself concentrate on that and not on the utter delight in DiNozzo's eyes when he hands out praise. Delight that makes Gibbs want things he has no business wanting.
Bragging ladies' man or not, DiNozzo gives him looks that tell Gibbs things. He knows he could have the younger man with little effort. But the complications would be huge. High maintenance is only the beginning with DiNozzo. The disappointed looks Gibbs gets now would be worse afterwards, because sometimes Gibbs can't help being a bastard and sometimes he can, but chooses not to. He's not only a bastard; he's a perverse one.
Sometimes it's hard, but he's a marine. He can overcome the many faces of DiNozzo. Just because his undercover turn as Gus Bricker made Gibbs want to arrest him, strip him naked, and nail him to a wall didn't mean he had to show it. He didn't give in to the urge to carry DiNozzo home after he killed Jeffrey White and put him in a tub for a long soak and a cold glass of liquor. He battles these temptations and others, because if he crosses that line he can't take it back.
There'd been a line in some movie DiNozzo had made him watch, back during the second time they'd lived together. At the end of the movie, about vampires no less, the bad guy turned to the girl and told her, `I may be a bastard, but I'm not a fucking bastard.' He'd liked that. Even bastards had a line they don't cross.
The slaps to DiNozzo's head become regular and satisfy something in both of them. Ducky told him about the time that Kate had done it, and the glare and promise Tony had given her in return. To others the slaps may seem harsh, but they're not. If Tony had ever given any indication that they bothered him, then Gibbs would have stopped. Instead Tony takes them in stride and even looks happy when it happens.
He laughs when he sees Tony give McGee a head slap. It's Tony's own way of establishing dominance and welcoming the new guy to the team. Time passes like it always does, and McGee finds his place. Tony continues to brag and boast and Gibbs wonders how many people believe the bullshit Tony shovels. Tony talks a great game, a fantastic one, but most of it is castles built of air.
Sometimes he wants to shove Tony into a conference room or follow him home and just take him over and over until he breaks down and Gibbs sees the real, ultimate, no holds barred DiNozzo. But could he handle that? Could DiNozzo handle him seeing him like that? Vulnerable, defenseless? What if Tony would want the same from him in return? Would he be willing to show Tony his real self? He doesn't think he could and it wouldn't be fair to demand that of Tony and not be able to return it.
Gibbs has no doubt he could make it happen, and in the middle of the night it gives him a surge of lust that makes his insides twist, and his cock grow hard so fast he can almost feel the blood that rushes away from his brain. These are the things that he thinks about and tries to push away. He's not going to do anything with DiNozzo. The looks they give each other can't be helped and neither can the little touches, but he'll be damned if it gets past that. This man is on his team and needs to know that Gibbs will have his back because that's what Gibbs does, and not because of any personal reasons.
So he continues working on his boat, occasionally falling asleep beneath her. He wakes up sore and grumpy but by the time he gets to work he's just grumpy. Everyone expects that, so it's not a big deal. On days where he goes home bruised and battered he gives in to his weakness and imagines calling up Tony, inviting him over. He imagines Tony's confused but aroused look as Gibbs kisses him hard, fast, stripping off both their clothes and taking comfort in easing into Tony's body. He imagines the sounds Tony would make, the way he would gasp in need and moan with abandon. Then he would beg Gibbs for more and Gibbs, being a generous person, would give him anything he desired. Any and every thing.
That's where the trouble starts. He could do one night or casual but Tony deserves more. Tony should know he's appreciated and wanted, because Gibbs sees the disappointed looks DiNozzo throws his way during or after cases. There would be no half way with Tony and Gibbs knows down to the marrow in his bones that they would be good for each other but he can't see a happy ending. That helps hold him back. It's a foolish reason but he needs all the reasons he can come up with because sometimes he's hanging on by his fingernails, and it's a long fall.
The job is what matters. It's dirty and tiring and dangerous as hell, but he loves it. He never wants to look back and hate it because he had to choose, or because it took someone else from him.
The End.