Work Text:
Shaving cream
by Ceindreadh
"Let me get this straight, Boss," said Tony, his voice calm and even. "You gave your shaving cream...you gave *my* emergency stash of shaving cream to *McGee*?"
Gibbs shrugged as he sat against the headboard, "The kid needed it. You saw the beard he tried to grow."
"I saw it...I felt it...what there was of it. Hell, a good scrub with a nail brush and he'd have cleaned it off," Tony grumbled. "I just don't see why you had to give him *my* shaving cream."
"I didn't mean to," said Gibbs, his hand resting lightly on Tony's bare back as the younger man sprawled across his lap. "I just grabbed the first one that came to hand. I thought it was mine."
"Yeah, well it wasn't, and now I'm here with a hairy butt and no way to shave it."
Gibbs lazily stroked Tony's butt, which was indeed just a trifle hairier than usual. "And just why is it so important for you to have a clean shaven butt?"
"Because there's no way I'm gonna be a two out of five...not when *Probie* gets to be a four! Yeouch!" Tony yelped as Gibbs's hand made hard contact with his ass. "What the hell was that for?"
Gibbs gave Tony a few more smacks for good measure before replying, "Do you mean to tell me that I've been shaving your butt these last few months, just because of a stupid 'rate my tush' contest you've had going?" He smacked Tony's ass again.
"Ouch, no Gibbs...I mean, not exactly...I mean sort of..."
Gibbs held his hand poised ready to strike again, "Which is it DiNozzo?"
"I just figured...I wanted my butt to be a five out of five...I want it to be perfect...I want it to be perfect for you..."
Gibbs lowered his hand until it was flat against Tony's butt. He stroked it gently, saying, "Did it ever occur to you, that maybe I like your butt with a little hair, mmm?" His hand traced circles on Tony's butt, slowly savoring every inch of it.
"I...I guess not, Gibbs," said Tony, his toes curling with delight as Gibbs's fingers soothed away all the stresses and strains of the day.
"You've always been a five out of five for me, Tony...but I don't rate people based on their body hair."
"Yeah Gibbs, I know..." Tony's eyes closed and he started to relax completely.
"Just one thing, Tony."
Tony's eyes flicked open again, "Yeah Boss?"
"Get Ziva to rate your tush again...and I won't be shaving it for you."
"No?"
"No," said Gibbs. "I'll be waxing it."
The End