Chapter Text
Chapter 1.
Many questions...
Tony couldn't help being satisfied by the way thing had turned. It had been a hard case and he must admit he ahd feared been unable to bring the kid his father back. But Gibbs had promised the little boy that he would do it and he kept his promise... as always.
He had been amazed to see how his boss had dealt with the kid. Zachary had trusted him at first sight... who didn't. Gibbs had this ability of reassuring people. When this man told you that he would be able to do something, you couldn't doubt he would succeed.
So they had found the daddy, he had been beaten badly but he was alive and had been able to take his son home. Tony smiled as he remembered the way that kid, so smart and who seemed to be older than his seven years old, screamed when he saw his father.
Tony had almost forgotten during the hours he had spent with the kid that he was still young. Life had already been hard on him and he had grown a bit faster than the others. He had been brave and strong to help them finding his father but he had become a little child again when his father returned.
In a way he envied this kid. He would never have been allowed to hug his father like that in front of someone. His family wasn't the kind where feelings were shared or expressed.he couldn't remember a moment he had shared with his father or his mother which had been true. There always were someone looking at him to avoid him to embarass his parents in a way or another : a nurse most of the time.
He sighed at the thought of his parents. He hadn't seen them since he had joined the police still remebering the way his father had said that he wouldn't be his son anymore if he chose the police. A Dinozzo didn't do such a job....
Tony couldn't think being obliged to spend his life at the head of the family entreprises. He shivered at the thought of what his life may have been like... a suit, a tie and being polite with stupid people who only talked to you because you were the one with the money they needed.
He had never regretted his choice even if it had been hard turning his back to what had been his life. He didn't care about the money and he had loved the new freedom he had gained.
And today for the first time in months he felt that he had made the difference.
They had helped this child, bringing down some nasty guys in the same time. Since Kate's death, the team was not the same. It had taken time not to wait for one of her reply each time he made a joke. And much more time not to feel the pain each time he thought about what had happened on that roof.
But he was now able to smile as he thought about her. He had tried to remember all the good times they had shared. He had even written some of them and it had helped him a lot to think of what she had given him instead of what he had lost with her death.
What was still bothering him was the fact that he thought he was the only one able to do that. He could see that Abby was avoiding talking about her, Ducky had his own way to deal with death in general that he wasn't sure to understand, McGee didn't share a thing especially with him... and Gibbs... He didn't know what to think of Gibbs.
In fact, he knew well what he thought about his boss. It was part of the problem maybe. He was hyperaware of him at the least. They had worked together for more than two years and litlle by little his feelings for his boss had grown...
He had begun to see him like the wonderful man he could be more than like the heartless bastard he wanted everyone to believe he was. He had learnt to read the signs, the subbtle messages the man was unconsciously sending.
He had realised that behind the mask of coldness and professionalism he wore there were so much more. He had discovered a man who cared about people, who was able to understand and who was great with kids... sometimes he sounded like a groupie... Maybe but he couldn't help admiring this man, his strength, his faith that what they were doing was right.... the way he smiled at him when he thought nobody was looking...
He didn't know what his boss was feeling for him but he was sure there was something hiden behind those smiles. But lately, there had been less smiles, more angry words and Tony couldn't figure out why most of them were directed to him.
Gibbs ' behaviour was becoming more and more enigmatic. One day he thought he had seen some understanding in his eyes and the next he coudl be as distant as when they first met.
He was still at his esk even if it was past ten p;m. His report was finished but he liked the quietness of the office late. It allowed him to think and as always his thoughts drifted to his boss. He had acted weirdly lately but today had been the worst day. Not that Gibbs had been more "bossy" than usual but Tony had felt that something was wrong with him and he didn't like it.
He had seen him look at the kid and his father when the little boy had run to him. Gibbs hadn't seen him. Tony had seen so much sadness in his eyes, a sadness he couldn't understand. They had allowed to be with his father and he should have been happy for that... Tony knew that there must be a secret behind this sadness.
He had tried to talk with him but it had ended with Gibbs giving him his " mind your own buisiness" look so he hadn't insisted. It must have something to do with the boy or with kids in general... The first question that came to his mind was why Gibbs had never had kids? He had been married three times...So why? Tony had realised how he loved being with kids, he knew how to talk to them, to reassure them.
There may be another explanation, he had had kids and for some reason he had been separated from them. His marriage hadn't ended well so maybe...
He wasn't going anywhere with questions that lead to other questions... Hell he was an investigator and he believed to be good at his job so he would search for aswers... secretly. He would have to be discreet because if Gibbs found out about it... He didn't want to think of what the man would do...
With this resolution he decided to go back home. He stood up and was about to walk to the elevator when he saw something on Gibbs'desk. He shouldn't do it but if he wanted answers he would have to spy a bit. He looked around and when he was sure there was noone who could see him he walked to Gibbs' desk.
He found a small silver bottle almost hidden under papers. His father had had the same. He lifted the papers that were hiding the bottle. A noise from the hallway made him jerked and walk away from the desk. He hadn't had enough time to read what was writen on it but he had managed to see two names: Kelly and Shannon.
He tried to find in Gibbs life... what he knew about Gibbs' life, someon called Shannon or Kelly but he coudl not remember him mentioning any of these names. He had guessed that one was one of his wife's name but he doubted that two of them would have met to buy him that!
So one name must be...? Okay! One more question. He would have to make a list of them if he wanted to be efficient. That was the begining of his investigation on Gibbs and what this man is hiding.
He didn't sleep well this night, disturbed by what he didn't know about Gibbs. He wanted nothing more than to know him better. He would have prefered his boss to talk tohim. But he doubted that it would ever happen. He couldn't help being concerned b by the fact that Gibbs was not fine and that he didn't know why.
The next morning he was at work early. He had believed to find Gibbs here but his boss was not there and nothing had been moved from his desk. McGee arrived an hour later with a coffee in his hands.
-You are trying to replace the boss, Probie?
-No, Tony. I like coffee too.
Tim looked around and then back at Tony.
-Where is Gibbs?
-Don't know. I guess he is late...
Saying that he realised how wrong it sounded. Gibbs hd never been late in two years so he would not begin today.
-He must be somewhere in the building... You don't have some work to do, Probie.
-And it's me who is trying to replace the boss...
An hour later, Tony was beginingto be worried. Gibbs had not arrived yet and it was not like him. Tony had already called Ducky, Abby to see if they had any news. Every body was becoming a little anxious and Tony was not surprised to see Ducky in front of his desk only two minutes his fifth call in an hour.
-What's wrong, Anthony?
-I don't know Ducky but Gibbs is late.
-Did you try to call his house, his cell?
-Off course, but there is noone home and his cell didn't respond.
-I see... there must be an explanation.
-Yeah. There must be a reason for him not to have called nor tell us where he was...
Tony knew that Gibbs would have called if he had been called for an emergency... at least to Ducky.
-Okay... I will go to Director Sheppard's office.
-Do you think she really need to know?
-I want to tell her but she may know something.
-If it was the case she would have told us...?
-Are you sure, Ducky. I don't want to be slanderous but I think that our Director has not a high opinion of us and especially me. And I don't know if she would tell us anything even if she had had news.
-Maybe she is jealous?
-What? Jealous of what?
-She was Gibbs' partner a long time ago and now you took his place.
-Oh! That kind of jealousy!
Tony almost blushed. He had thought for a moment that Ducky was implying that maybe Gibbs would have been attracted to him the way he had once been attracted to her.
-Yes that kind too!
Now Ducky was not implying anymore.
-What are you trying to say, Ducky?
-That maybe our Director doesn't like the way Jethro acts with you. The way he stands always by your side...
-Are saying what I think you are saying?
-I don't know, young man. What do you think I'm saying?
Tony was getting confused and he didn't have time to think about what Gibbs may feel and what Ducky may say.
-Forget about it Ducky!
They were interrupted by Director Sheppard walking to them.
-Agent Dinozzo. I received a call from Agent Gibbs. He asked for a personnal leave. He would be absent for a week at least. In his absence you will be in charge.
She didn't even wait for a reply and was about to walked to her office when Tony found his voice back.
-Did he tell you why he needed it? I mean he was fine yesterday...
-You don't need to know. It's private...
She turned her back to them and Tony repressed the desire of wincing behind her back. A littlt childish...? Yes but he couldn't help feeling jealous of what she and Gibbs had shared.
-She could have told us. We are a team... He may need help.
-Anthony, sometimes you are so blind!
-What did I miss?
-Didn't you see how angryshe was. He didn't tell her why he needed down time and the least you can say is that she didn't appreciate it.
-You think that Gibbs didn't even give her a reason?
-I think he left for a personnal reason he didn't want to explain to any of us.
-So you haven't any idea why he left?
-I didn't say that. I think that you realised he wasn't really himself since Caitlin's death...
-Yeah! We have all been affected by her death but Gibbs... He never talked about what he felt even after killing Ari.
-But I think that there is something more that is disturbing him. I saw it when he was with the little boy. He didn't act like he would have in any other case... He took the little boy at his house...
-Yeah, he was very close to him.
Tony looked at Ducky as if he was trying to fnd the best way to ask a dificult question.
-Ducky do you know who Kelly and Shannon are?
-Well, I heard him talk once about Shannon. His first wife. But they had already gone separate ways when we met. I think she lives in Europe now.
-Okay one question solved. But who is Kelly?
Tony was talking to himself. He felt that Kelly was the key and he knew that if Gibbs had hiden her even from Ducky, there must be a sad secret behind this name.