Work Text:
In the still of the night : Tony
by Stacy L.A. Stronach
Groaning as he rolled over, Tony DiNozzo saw that the clock was reading 12:00 a.m. He didn't move, didn't want to. It was hell, living like this. Wanting someone he knew he could never have. That thought brought Gibbs' face into mind.
"Fuck it," he muttered, he hated it when he couldn't sleep, he found his thoughts always became depressed and negative.
He wanted Leroy Jethro Gibbs more than he'd ever wanted anyone, man or woman. He'd mostly wanted men in his life, chasing women was just cover, Tony never made much effort to capture them.
Gibbs...the man was so near yet so untouchable. Those blue eyes that could be ice cold or tropically warm; that rare, true smile, the one Tony worked so hard to make appear--when Gibbs smiled, something in Tony seemed to melt and he felt that much more in love with him; the grey hair which seemed to suit him; he was in very good shape for his age and he had a really hot ass. Tony knew because he found himself looking at said ass far too often. Tony knew he had it bad, and he knew it was not just a crush, a simple attraction. If it was that, then he could've dealt with it, found a substitute. But no, he had to go and fall in love with the older man.
Tony knew that even if Gibbs did swing his way, there was no reason for him to even consider someone like Tony. He could do his job very well, but personally, hell, he'd never had a relationship last very long. Immature and a clown was how his last long term boyfriend had described him. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
He wanted Gibbs so much, knew that if something didn't happen soon, he might have to leave. Tony didn't know how much longer he could keep this up without making a fatal mistake and revealing his feelings to his Boss.
He could see it now: "Boss I want you to fuck me, now!" He doubted Gibbs' reply would be, "Then bend over the desk, DiNozzo!" More likely it would be: "You're fired, DiNozzo!"
Fuck. Tony wondered, at times, why he'd fallen in love with "second B is for bastard" Gibbs. While it was true that Gibbs could be a mean bastard, he was a loyal, honourable man, one who would lay down his life for his team, one who would stop at nothing until a case was solved or a criminal caught.
Tony looked at the clock again sighing again. 12:02. He'd be dragging his ass tomorrow if he didn't get to sleep. Closing his eyes against the tears of frustration he could feel welling up, Tony decided to put Leroy Jethro Gibbs out of his mind, and out of his heart, forever, there would be no joy there. He knew his resolve would last until he got into work and saw the object of his affection. Damn it. He didn't stand a chance.