SquidgeWorld Archive

Dick crept silently back into the hospital room now dressed in regular clothing. But he need not have bothered as Donna was waiting for him wide awake. He chewed his lip a second before taking a breath and taking a chair beside the hospital bed. The silence in the room began to take weight but Dick refused to be the one to talk first. The tension in the air was quickly becoming oppressive.

"Where did you go?" Donna asked with a slight lilt at the end of the question.

Dick looked down and answered, "You already know the answer to that, Donna." He reached out and touched Roy's arm. The skin still felt clammy to the touch but his breathing was no longer as shallow as it had been. "Any news as to when he might wake up?" he asked trying to change the subject.

"Soon hopefully...it is only a light coma they say."

"A coma is still a coma." He grumbled leaning back in the chair.

She leaned against the wall facing him, "Well at least the convulsions have stopped...why did you do it?"

"Do what?" he asked at her sudden change in subject as if feigning ignorance would help.

"Go after them tonight...Were you going to kill them?"

He rubbed his forehead with his finger tips, "How much have you heard?"

"I listened to the scanner while you were gone. The police think you were just trying to scare them given your reputation but Nightwing never goes that far. Would you really have killed them?"

His dark stare bore into her soul answering all her questions while answering none. She felt a chill come over her as he continued to stare at her. She turned away before he did. He turned back to the man on the bed. "Well at least he don't have to go through withdrawal this time." he sighed once more reaching out to stroke the man's arm for a few seconds before returning his hand to his lap. "He had terrible muscle cramps last time."

Donna nodded distracted but then turned sharply toward him, "That's right! I remember you stayed by his side every night during detox!"

He half shrugged, "That's what friends do." He rubbed at his own thigh kneading it with his fingers roughly. He stood up and started pacing the room while Donna watched.

"I suppose...although Dick I was his girlfriend and even I went home at night...you stayed everyday all night."

"What can I say it's not like Bruce didn't know where I was....or that I wasn't used to staying up at night." He wasn't liking where their conversation was heading. "Let's just drop it okay?"

She shook her head, "I'm just trying to understand you is all."

"I don't want you to understand me...I don't want anyone to understand me...I just want to be left alone!" He hissed at her suddenly. She reared back a little not out of fear but out of surprise. Richard Grayson was not a hot head and his actions tonight and now that she thought about it back when they were teenagers were not typical of his everyday behavior.

"Alright...Alright I'll leave you alone for now...I'm going to the vending machines want anything?" She asked as she headed toward the door.

He shook his head and she left the room shutting the door only halfway. He sat with hands clasped under his chin and glared at the man on the bed. "you idiot!" whispered fiercely. (How dare he do this to me!) Dick Grayson closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair as he remembered the past...

A much younger Dick Grayson sat beside a similar bed while an also much younger Roy Harper laid back down. Donna Troy aka Wonder Girl or according to Speedy Wonder Chick had just left after a visit. During the visit Roy had done everything possible to appear in control, calm and basically okay. But now with her gone he collapsed on to the bed.

"Hey buddy you okay?" Dick asked leaning over the red headed boy. He had a wash cloth and was wiping Roy's brow. Roy was sweating buckets despite the air conditioning.

"Yeah I'm glad she's gone though I don't think I could have remained cheerful much longer." He yawned wide. "Ugh I can't stop yawning." he complained.

Dick patted him on the shoulder. "You'll be fine, just lay back and let me take care of you!" he said gently.

"Thanks you're a pal! Hey won't Bats worry about you?"

"Naw...he knows where I am and it's vacation at school so no problem...try to get some sleep."

"I can't..." Roy whined.

Dick playfully tapped Roy on the head, "You idiot I said try"

"Whatever you say short pants." As he dutifully closed his eyes absently wiping at his nose which was running.

Dick Grayson grimaced. As he tried to sink into sleep himself, he tried to ignore the tremors running through the body in the bed next to his chair.

Oliver had went to bed hours before confident that if there was a problem Dick Grayson would call him. What he didn't realize is even if a problem came up there was no way in hell he would call him. Dick blamed Oliver for Roy's addiction so when in the middle of the night Roy woke up vomiting Dick never called out as he held the bucket and cleaned up the other teen Titan. Nor did he call out to Green Arrow when Roy's muscles started cramping. He just patiently rubbed the other teen's legs and arms until they were over for the time being. Roy never questioned why Dick stayed. And neither did Dick. Dick assumed that what he did was the same as what he would have done for anyone on his team.

In the present Dick Grayson opened his eyes to stare at the red haired man on the bed, (If that was the case how come I've never went out of the way to help anyone else? How many times has Wally needed help and I assumed someone else would take care of it or that he could handle it? How many times has Garth been in trouble? I don't even know because I don't even follow his life! As for Donna...she is one of my best friends and while I have went out of my way for her what does it mean? I'm never there when it counts!) He ranted and railed at himself as he stood up and started pacing the room.

"You idiot!" he whispered again, to himself or to Roy he wasn't sure. He stalked to the bed and bent over the prone body, "Can't you stay out of trouble?" he whispered gently. He found himself reaching out a hand to stroke the fine hair and pulled his hand back. (What are you doing to me?) he thought scrubbing at his face with both hands before falling into the chair beside the bed. "Wake up damn it!" he grumbled. (Why? How is he going to help? It's my problem not his.) he bounced his foot. He felt his heart drop and his stomach quiver as a terrible thought accrued to him, (What if he never wakes up?) Dick bounced up and started pacing again. His tread took him from the bed to the window and back again. He started to feel a little panicky and bit down on the feeling and stuffed it in the cellar of his mind.

"I'm sorry Roy" he breathed as he sat back down and closing his eyes once more thinking back.

"Please eat!" Dick held the spoon out to Roy.

"I'm not hungry!" Roy sulked. "You're a mother hen you know that?"

Dick smirked, "Well someone has to be between you and twinkle toes someone has to act mature."

"Ha" Roy said turning over while rubbing at his watery eyes and runny nose. He pulled the covers up more secure under his chin as the chills over took him once more. An hour later he was panic stricken convinced that the covers were trying to suffocate him. And it was at that time Dick held him for the one and only time in his life. As the young teen smoothed back his friends hair he experienced the one thing that terrified him more than any criminal. He felt his heart leap and his stomach drop at the single touch of one of his best friends and it was the last time he allowed himself to touch the other boy.

Dick opened his eyes and blinked back any tears that had tried to escape. (And now after all this time it's come back to haunt me! No matter how I try pushing it away this time it keeps nagging me.) He picked up the hand on the bed. The right one without the IV. "Don't die please" he whispered.

Donna entered the room quietly, "He's not going to die" she said "He's going to be fine" her eyes regarded him with a soft look as she came to walk up behind him she placed her hands on his shoulders.

"How long have you been there?" he asked in monotone.

"Long enough. Anyone else wouldn't catch it but I do. How long have you...felt this way?"

"Felt what way?" once more playing ignorant.

Donna rolled her eyes, "I swear you get more irritating the older you get, stop being obtuse, how long have you cared for Roy like this?"

He sighed and squeezed the hand he was holding, "For longer than I care to remember."

Donna came around the front of him and kneeled. The pain in his eyes told the tale better than words. "Since we were kids?" She closed her own eyes and shook her head. "You never show it."

"I learned from the master." he said bitterly, "Show no emotion that maybe considered a weakness."

"What are you going to do?" she asked hesitantly. As she sat down on the cold tile in front of him.

"Nothing, I will figure out a way of pushing it back down and go on just like always." he said it in a matter of fact voice as he placed Roy's hand back on the bed and stood up and stretched. "I'm going downstairs to the cafe, call me if there is a change, I'll be back soon."

As he went out the door, Donna took the chair and held Roy's clammy hand in hers. "Roy you need to wake up real quick. I don't like what I see happening to Dick. And I think you are the only one that can help him." she placed a light peck on his cheek. "Wake up Roy. I'm afraid for him." She sighed as she watched the door. (He's gonna blow and when he does it's not going to be pretty, You can't keep those kind of emotions locked forever.)