Work Text:
Title: Touch Me
Author: Poodle
Rating: PG-13
Summary: An unsettling tale of a young woman marooned alone on a planet with an android.
Touch Me
By Poodle~
Resala gazed across the campfire and watched his solemn profile, the golden cheekbones enhanced by flickering flames. Who was he? Where did he come from? Suddenly the yellow eyes turned in her direction and she dropped hers in a flash of embarrassment. Why did she feel such a wave of discomfort and yet, what was it...excitement, at his look?
"Is something troubling you, Resala?" His voice was soft, with a subtle lilt of curiosity.
"No." She did not meet his eyes. "I was thinking. You really don't require the fire, do you?"
"No. I thought, perhaps, the experience might trigger a memory remnant."
"And?"
"It has not."
He sighed, and she looked again across the fire into his face. His features were set in grim lines, shadows dancing over the golden skin. Suddenly she longed to offer comfort, to actually touch him, but restrained her impulse, feeling, once again, the familiar wave of embarrassment. He had yet to invite any such contact in the month since he arrived.
"We know one thing for certain," she said. "You aren't Human."
"That fact is clearly evident." There was a hint of impatience in his voice. "I am an android. Still, that does not answer the question of my origin. Or how I came to be..." He spread his arms indicating the wooded terrain shrouded in darkness, "here."
"I wish I could help," she said sincerely. His loss of memory tormented him day and night, and as she learned in these past days, androids did not sleep, so his torment was truly endless. "Your uniform--"
"Starfleet!" His eyes lit at the memory. "I do recall that." He looked down, running his hands almost longingly over the mustard yellow uniform.
Her expression brightened. "That's great! You didn't remember that before." Though she was unfamiliar with Starfleet, his exuberance at the recollection made her heart leap. "You'll remember more in time, just you wait and see."
"We cannot know to what extent I have been damaged. My self-diagnostic systems are also impaired. It is quite possible I will never regain access to my total memory."
"We can always hope." She smiled softly.
"Hope." He repeated the word as if hearing it for the first time. "It is said of such, that one should hope for the best, but prepare for the worst."
"Must you be so negative?" Yet as she gazed into his face, she knew this man "machine" had lost everything, while she had everything to gain.
"Are you certain this planet is uninhabited?" He asked for what seemed the hundredth time. "The rich vegetation, the year round constancy of climate, the over-abundance of wildlife would make this an ideal world for habitation, even colonization."
"There's no doubt in my mind we're the only ones here. I've been stranded over three years. If there are people around, they're damned good at hiding."
"I suppose I can trust you; you appear more honest than when you first discovered me." His stare cut her, and her eyes dropped in humiliation.
Yes. She lied a great deal when she first found him disheveled and disorientated, wandering the creek. She told him she'd been shipwrecked; it took only a matter of hours for him to conclude there was no possible evidence of wreckage.
"My people abandoned me in exile. It's not something I'm very proud of."
"At least you can recall the event," he replied softly, looking off into the night.
The darkness wrapped around them, the crackling flames keeping the night at bay...but just. A lombi howled in the distance, its hunger echoing through the inky-blackness. Resala trembled, her eyes seeking the solace of the form bathed in flickering light, his attention trained on some inner vestige of memory. The years of exile left her empty and alone. His presence kept more than the shadows of night and the fear of the lombi from her soul. She yearned to tell him, but the words died long before they reached her lips.
"I can't keep calling you, -hey you,'" she said, only half in jest.
"Call me what you will." He shrugged with indifference, still looking into the shadows. "It would appear I have no preference."
But nothing she could think of felt "right." He needed a name, an identity. She knew what it was to lose one's family, home, even people, but at least she still retained some measure of herself. This "man" had none.
"Can't you recall any name from your past you might wish to use, a friend's, a colleague's, a family member..." She bit her lip. "Sorry." How easy it was to forget he was a machine and had no family.
"An understandable mistake. Names filter in and out of my consciousness, but they hold no meaning. I regret this disappoints you."
"You're a machine. The information has to exist somewhere in your memory banks; it can't have been erased."
"Regrettably, your conclusions are incorrect. It *can* have been erased, depending upon the events occurring previous to my arrival."
"Wouldn't it take an event of cataclysmic proportions to erase *all* data banks. If you-"
"Data!" he gasped, interrupting her.
"Yes, your data banks, surely--"
"No, not data. Data."
"It holds meaning?" His expression brought renewed hope to the woman, and she leaned forward in anticipation.
"Not as a word. As a name." He struggled with the thought, his face contorted in effort. "If only I could remember."
"A name?" She asked, indecisively. What an odd one. "Yours?"
"The information is accessible." He strained, attempting to bring it to the front of his mind. Then just as quickly it slipped away, and his head dropped in defeat.
"I'm so sorry," she whispered, again longing to offer more than verbal comfort.
He raised his head and stared into the darkness.
Silence cloaked them until the cry of a lombi cut the hush, causing her to wrap her arms around herself, trembling, and look toward the security of the cabin. The hour was late. Her eyes returned to the solemn figure now oblivious to her presence. The firelight waned, the final flicker of its flames barely disbursing the shadows from his finely chiseled face. His features came together to form a handsome, sensitive appearance she had come to trust, though she hardly knew him.
Without warning, he stood and walked into the darkness. She knew he was going to wander the woods, as he did almost every night, the lombiis and other creatures showing little interest in an android, and suddenly she could not bear to see him leave.
"Data!" She shouted.
He froze and slowly turned, his expression stunned.
"You told me to choose a name." She gave him a half-smile that he did not return.
"Is there something more you require?" He was never averse to helping her, though he offered little else in the way of companionship. "Firewood? Food?"
She shook her head, hesitating. "Neither." An awkward moment passed as he waited for her to continue, but the words stuck in her throat. *I want you to touch me! Is that so wrong?*
"If there is nothing more, I--"
"Yes." She took a faltering step toward him when another lombi howl chilled her to the bone. "I'm...afraid." It wasn't a lie, exactly.
"There is little I can do to allay your fears. The lombiis have never invaded the cabin. You should be safe. If you'd like, I can construct a barrier in the morning, albeit a somewhat rustic one at best." He turned to leave.
"Please." She swallowed. "I wish you'd stay."
He looked confused. "Whatever for?"
"It would...allay my fears."
"You require sleep. I function without it." He raised his chin. "I am superior in that respect."
"You're superior in many respects." *You need no one.* "But I'm not. Please, don't leave me alone, tonight."
Her words left him bewildered. He paused, then responded slowly, "Resala, I am damaged. I strongly suspect the memory core governing even the elements of my basic personality has been altered to some extent. I'm unable to understand your continued need for my presence."
"And I'm powerless to explain it, but please stay, just until I've gone to sleep." Her dark eyes held unconcealed yearning. "If nothing else."
He shrugged. "If it will please you."
She released a sigh, and kicking dust over the residue of fire, led him to the cabin. A small victory was more comforting than none at all.
"Your people provided you with adequate shelter," he commented as he closed the door behind him. Though the cabin was small and its furnishings sparse, its structure resisted the elements well "They apparently intended to keep you alive."
She laughed ruefully. "It's common among my people to preserve the life of former dictators. If this can be considered life."
"Dictators?" He looked surprised.
"I failed to mention that, as well." She sat on the corner of the bunk she used for a bed. "The reason for my exile."
"You are a deposed dictator"
She nodded. "A volatile occupation, don't you agree?"
"So it would seem." Grasping the back of a flimsy chair, he positioned it beneath the window and sat, looking out into the night.
"What are you doing?"
"If the lombiis were to threaten your safety, which is doubtful, I reasoned the best possible vantage point would be this window."
She found herself laughing. "You're guarding me?"
He turned. "You said you were afraid." His head snapped back to the window. "That was what you wanted?"
Her laughter faded. "I guess so." For a moment, she watched his expressionless profile, then slipped slowly from her clothing. As she stood in the wisps of a shadow caused by the moon's subtle glow, she wondered if he turned and found her naked, would he even bat an eye? What responses did this android who seemed so alive truly possess? His frustration was an indication of some level of emotion, wasn't it? Then was it so unreasonable to expect...
She cleared her throat.
The golden eyes turned in her direction, and she caught her breath. They moved slowly over her form, pausing at her eyes.
"Is there something more you require?" His tone was mechanical, flat.
Her heart sank. She shook her head. "I didn't mean to disturb you." He turned back toward the window, and she slipped with resignation into bed. The past three years spawned a nightmare of loneliness and despair. She clutched the meager sheets around her and stared into the night, cursing those who knew only how to exile, rather than exercising the mercy of execution.
She was unable to sleep. Her eyes shifted through the shadows and found the android's frozen face, bathed by the moon, staring into the night. His thoughts, no doubt, struggled through the vastness of his mind for answers he might never find.
"The emblems on your collar," she broke the hush. "What do they mean?"
"They symbolize the rank of lieutenant commander," he replied automatically. Then blinked in surprise at his response. "How did I know that?"
Excitedly she sat up, clutching her sheets around her. "I caught you unaware. It must have trigged a memory. You've been thinking too hard, that's your problem."
His face held unsuppressed delight, then shadowed as he strained to remember more. "There was...something, something that brought me here, an entity."
"Why?"
He shook his head, frustration growing. "The memory is fading. It should have destroyed me."
"You were apparently a part of some military organization. You said your uniform was from Starfleet. You hold the rank of lieutenant commander. Maybe your people were at war with this enemy?"
"War? That seems incorrect. The ship was designed for scientific exploration."
"Maybe you were studying it." Her excitement mounted. These recollections were unlike any he had since she found him. "You were part of an exploration team, and this thing attacked. Perhaps you're the only one who survived."
He gazed back toward the window. "The memory has gone." There was a quiet resignation in his voice that wrenched her heart.
"But now there's hope!"
"You seem more than a little attached to that particular word." His tone remained flat.
"Look around you." She sighed, laying down and turning way. "It's all I have. At least you've got a phrase to ponder."
"Which is?"
"Lieutenant Commander Data."
The android gave no response.
~*~*~*~*~*
In the morning, he was gone.
She slid from the bed and into her clothing, an emptiness already mounting within. Probably he was hard at work building the lombi barrier he believed her sanity, if not her safety, required. She sighed and ran a makeshift comb through her lengthy auburn hair, wishing it was possible to make him understand the true requirement of her sanity.
She should have been a woman of great wealth and power, through she never desired it. When her father died, his regime passed to her. But her reign lasted merely two months before the Crustyons conquered her world, deposing her, and forcing her people to commit her to exile. If she had been older, things might have been different. Instead, they reduced her to this, a trembling, frightened child whose desires lay at the feet of a machine. A machine unlike any she had ever known. Surely his thoughts - and touches - were as gentle as his countenance. Would she ever know?
Leaving the cabin, she looked around the glade, but found no sign of him. Her trepidation grew, and she headed toward the creek. The lombiis ignored him in the past, but there was no way to tell when they might decide to change their appetites and attack.
Her heart pounded as she hurried down the path. It was foolish to worry, but the thought of losing him and finding herself alone, again, was more than she could bear. The loneliness was hard enough before he came into her life; now such emptiness would be unendurable.
She gasped for breath as she ran the remaining distance and pushed aside the languid branches of a willow obscuring her view. What she saw beyond, pulled her up short. Her eyes grew round.
"By the Gods of Persis, he's nude!"
She would have dropped the foliage and stepped from view, but the sight of him held her spellbound. Why should she be astonished to discover he bathed? He stood knee deep in the creek, the morning light shimmering across the water as it glistened against his golden skin. He was breathtaking. By what wonder had he been created? So flawlessly muscular and lean, so unquestionable male.
She bit her lips, feeling deliciously wicked as she watched the meticulous strokes of his long- fingered hands as he bathed, unaware of her presence. A tremble passed trough her at the thought of those same hands stroking, not his, but her skin. Goose bumps rose on her flesh. She drew in her breath and started to recede into the shadows.
He turned, and the serpentine eyes locked with hers.
She stumbled back, the willow branches catching her lengthy hair. She fumbled and fought to tear herself free, only managing to become further entangled. She suddenly felt an overwhelming desire to flee, but desperation only worsened her predicament. She tore at the branches, until a cool, damp hand intervened, effortlessly freeing her.
He was at her side. She pulled in her breath, hesitant to face him. "Honest, I'm not given to spying on naked men."
"That was made apparent by your lack of silence." His voice held no recrimination, only its normal monotone. "Although, my auditory response is such that it would be difficult to linger for any length of time without my being aware."
"You knew I was here!" She started to turn and found him still nude. Blushing in spite of her earlier boldness, she looked away. Didn't his programming include any sense of modesty? "You may get dressed, if you wish."
"If you are finished with your observations."
She could almost hear the shrug in his voice and felt her skin further redden. "I am," she said quietly. Would he truly have allowed her to stand and gawk with no sense of invasion?
She heard him turn and walk away.
"I apologize," she said softly, unable to tear the vision of his glistening skin from her mind. It seemed an even worse invasion of his privacy when she considered he might not comprehend that he possessed such a right. "I had no idea you were bathing. I guess it's silly; I never thought about you doing such a thing."
"My functions are much the same as you own." He was at her side, again. This time fully dressed in a slightly damp uniform. "Only more efficient and..."
"I know, don't tell me - superior."
He nodded. "I required less rest, less ingestion of nutrients, less--"
"Less of everything." Including physical contact. Her eyes stole a glance along the molded fabric of his uniform as it clung to his still damp form, and she wondered, were *all* his functions the same? Certainly the anatomy was correct. She suppressed a giggle.
"Did I say something amusing?"
"No. I was just thinking."
He accepted her explanation, then turned to gather his remaining belongings.
"Have you experienced any more recollections, Data?"
He stiffened and slowly turned, meeting her eyes.
Now she was certain, it had to be his name. Each time she used it, it triggered more memories than the last. "Lieutenant Commander."
"Throughout the night," he confessed.
"Really!"
"I experienced numerous flashes of memory: faces, names, worlds you can only imagine. Still, " he paused. "Much remains a blank."
"I'm sorry." She stepped near, daring to touch his hand in comfort. How long had she dreamed of offering such a touch? The skin felt cool and wonderfully alive. He did not pull away. In fact, he seemed oblivious.
"I sense, at times, a coming into being," he said slowly. "As if my basic personality were realigning itself."
"That's wonderful!" Maybe the hauntings of his soul would one day be put to rest.
"Possibly." He gazed into the distance, an empty light in his eyes.
"Data, the memories will come if you just relax." This time she grasped his hand, beseeching him to accept her offer of solace. "Let me help."
"Without extensive understanding of cybernetics, you are powerless to assist me."
"Emotionally. We can help one another."
He frowned, glancing down at the tiny hand clasping his, then back to meet her eyes. "I do not understand."
"This creature who brought you here...it destroyed your people, didn't it? You're as alone as I."
His brow furrowed in an effort to remember. Then the air released from his lungs in a rush. "Yes! I am alone. It destroyed everyone. It destroys everything in its path." His android face looked exhausted from the strain.
"I'm so sorry, Data." She gently brushed his cheek, feeling the supple texture of the golden skin. "I know the memoirs must be painful."
"Painful?" He shrugged. "I feel no remorse."
"In time," she whispered, "That too, will come. I believe there may be more to your memory loss than just physical trauma."
"What other cause could there be?"
She gazed into the golden eyes, longing to pull him close. "The trauma of a broken heart."
"I have no heart," he responded in candor.
"I'm talking about your soul. You're aching inside and don't even realize it. You're probably blocking your memories." Again her hand found his cheek, tracing a line to the soft, expressive lips. What would it be like to feel those lips on hers? She moved near.
He pushed from her grasp. "I need to walk."
"Data!" Disappointment stilled her heart.
He turned away as if the touch never happened, and strode into the woods, leaving her empty and alone.
"Data?" Tears burned her eyes. "Don't you understand?"
Only the whisper of the branches replied.
~*~*~*~*
The flames danced, casting flickering shadows into the trees. They popped and a burst of glowing embers, like fireflies, caught her attention. Resala sat alone, her vacant eyes watching the blazing campfire with disinterest. The cabin felt just as warm, but somehow the outdoor fire seemed more comforting. It reminded her of Data.
A lombi howled in the distance, and a chill cut her spine, though she knew the creature would never approach the flame. The haunting sound made her long for the android's companionship. She wrapped her arms around herself in empty solace.
Drawing her knees to her chin, she gazed into the mesmerizing flames, and dreamed of what would never be. Its warmth licked her face, and she brushed her cheeks with the back of her hand only to find them glistening with tears. She squeezed her eyes shut, hoping to stop the pain. Was it possible to love a machine?
A twig snapped and her eyes flew wide. He stood silently in the shadows, watching her. Her heart thumped as he slowly moved into the fire's light. It cast a warm glow against the metallic sheen of his skin.
"Data! I wasn't expecting you."
"I wanted you to know..." He stammered to a halt when he saw the tears. "Resala, are you ill?"
She dropped her head, unable to find the words. She hadn't meant for him to see her like this.
His hand found her shoulder. "If you are, perhaps I can assist."
"I'm dying!" The words tore from her before she could stop them.
His face showed open alarm. "I don't want you to die," he confessed, shocking them both. "I would miss you."
She gasped, stunned by the raw emotion he expressed. "Not physically, Data. My soul is dying."
He kneeled by her side, staring in wonder at the tears. "Explain."
"I can't." She looked away.
"You must." Gently grasping her chin, he turned her to face him. "I need you, Resala." His brow furrowed in confusion. "I do not believe I have ever...needed anyone before."
Her eyes widened. She trembled at his touch. "You're damaged. You probably have no idea what you're saying."
"Damage has occurred," he agreed. "I am functioning on a level unlike any I have experienced before. But I am confident I will soon recover my full faculties."
"And will you want me then?" She asked wistfully, laying her hand on his and needing him now more than ever.
"I only know I do not want to be alone." The words echoed into the night. "Please, Resala, tell me what you require to survive."
"This." Slipping her arms around his neck, she pulled him down and their lips met. She trembled as the silky smoothness of his kiss became intense, burning. She grasped for breath. "By the Gods of Persis, you kiss as if you do it every day!"
"I am fully capable of satisfying such a need. You should have told me. Organic beings possess many desires essential to their continued well being that I do not. It was senseless for you to suffer."
"I didn't know! You seemed so distant. I wanted you to want me as well."
"I do want you...to survive." His hand intertwined in her auburn hair, the firelight glowing in its depths. "I will leave this world one day, when I have returned to myself. Until I do, we must strengthen one another. I must learn to understand and accept your needs. As you have striven to comprehend mine."
"When you leave..." The words died on her lips. Was it too much to hope he would want her even then?
"Resala." He pulled her near to the warmth of his body. "I have remembered many things. I will tell you of them...later." He pulled her to her feet.
She fell into his arms, finding his lips and thrilling at the contact, she had yearned for so long.
"We will return to the cabin." His breath burned against her ear. Effortlessly, he swooped her off her feet. She gasped in surprise.
"But how will we leave this world, and will you..." *Still want me?* She sought the golden flame of his eyes.
"I was wearing a communicator when I arrived. I boosted its output using elements of my circuitry. One day a ship will pass."
"When you are *you* again, will you still want me?" She dared to question, her heart pounding.
"Resala," he whispered, stroking her hair. "I can only answer that the person I am today will want you...always."
Her eyes moistened. "Touch me," she breathed against his ear.
He kissed her deeply, stealing her breath. "There is something I want you to know."
"You've had another memory!" Her fingers stroked his supple cheek.
He claimed her lips again, this time with fierce intensity.
"You're hurting me, Data!" she gasped, jerking free.
His smile soothed the pain, but his eyes were burning amber. "I wanted you to know...you may call me Lore."
End