Work Text:
A Green Mood
By Patt
"Chief, what is that all over your face?"
"It's an avocado facial mask."
"Why are you wearing a green facial mask while you're making dinner?"
"Because it's St. Patrick's Day and I want to be in a green mood, and think how soft my face is going to be when I wash this off."
"Blair, our dinner is green."
"It's good to know that you know your colors. Of course it's green, it's Irish Stew. None of the color will harm you, I did research on it."
"I'm not sure I want to eat anything green and I want you to wash that off your face, it's starting to bug me."
"Sit down, I'm going to give a facial to you too so you'll be green with me."
"Not a chance, Chief."
"How often do I ask you to do things for me?"
"Every fucking day, so stick your lip back where it belongs and wash your face."
"To tell you the truth, I wanted to take a picture for my holiday album. And it wouldn't be the same without us spending St. Patrick's Day together, if we aren't wearing green."
"What holiday album, this is the first I've heard of it."
"I don't share it with anyone, it's my personal album. Do you have a problem with that?"
"No, but I'm not wearing a green face mask, so you can forget it."
"I knew you wouldn't go along with it. You're such a grump sometimes."
"I'm not a grump; I just can't see why anyone would want to wear a green facial for a holiday celebration."
"Well, I might invite Conner over to see if she'll celebrate with me."
"Is that supposed to make me jealous?"
"Everything isn't about you, Jim. Sometimes the world revolves around someone else for a change."
"See, now you're all pissed off at me, all because I won't wear a facial mask."
"I'll wash mine off, never mind. It's a stupid tradition anyhow."
"Okay... okay... you win. I'm sitting, put the damn mask on me."
"Now was that so bad?"
"It stinks like avocado."
"Jim, it is avocado facial mask. Now let me get my camera, okay?"
"Hurry it up, I don't want anyone coming over and seeing us like this."
"You worry about what people think too much, man."
"Stop yakking and get busy taking the picture. I want this mask off in two seconds."
"There, let me make sure it came out. I'll take a few to be sure. Wait... Don't take it off yet, I have to see if the pictures turned out."
"Chief, you weren't in the picture, why is that?"
"I had to take the picture; do you want to take one of me?"
"Yes, I do. Give me that thing. Look, you have avocado all over the lens. Let me wash it quick like and then I'll take your picture."
"Okay, while you do that I'm going to upload the pictures into the computer so I can pick the best one."
"Get out here, Blair. I'm ready to take your picture. What happened to your green face? Why isn't it green anymore?"
"I was itching and had to wash it off really fast. Sorry."
"You did this on purpose didn't you? You wanted me to put this fucking green mask on so everyone would see it. Well, too late, buddy boy. Give me the pictures."
"Too late, big guy, I sent them to Conner."
"You're joking, right?"
"Nope, they bet me 200 bucks that I could get you to put a green facial mask on and let me take your picture. I did and I'll split it with you."
"Sounds fair to me since I think a green face is worth 100 bucks. I can't believe you talked them out of 200 bucks."
"Jim, I talked you into wearing a facial mask. Actually, you're still wearing it."
"Fuck you, Sandburg and now I want the entire 200 bucks."
"Do you feel better now that you have the facial off? And do you notice how soft your skin is?"
"It is soft, I'm thinking about using one of those every night."
"I'm going to order Pizza now."
"What about the Irish Stew?"
"You want to eat green food, cuz I sure don't?"
"Pizza sounds good. I can't believe we're 200 bucks ahead. This was a good idea, Chief. We get money and we get a soft face too."
"So you're not mad at me?"
"Nah, I think you're too cute to stay mad at you for long."
"Want to go upstairs and talk about things that aren't green?"
"Sounds good to me, Chief. Lead the way."
"Happy St. Patrick's Day, Jim."
"Back at ya, and by the way we're not doing this again."
"Hurry up, I'm a lean green loving machine."
"I'll show you green."
"Finally."
The end.