SquidgeWorld Archive

Jim Ellison was tired. He just wanted to go home and rest. He was slightly irritated that he'd been unable to come up with any leads in his latest murder case. He was also down because his partner, and guide, Blair Sandburg, hadn't been able to stop by the station lately to help. Jim understood Blair had obligations to the university, but the days went by smoother with Blair at his side.

At the thought of his younger, sexy partner, Jim could only smile. If the truth was told, Jim loved Blair. Not brotherly love, but true love. Man to man love. But Jim hadn't told Blair that at all. He couldn't. The feeling wasn't mutual. Blair was, without a doubt, totally into women. In fact, Blair dated multiple women at the same time. Jim had been witness to the train wreck that sometimes was Blair's love life.

Jim had thought about declaring his undying love to Blair many times. But Jim wasn't the one in the partnership gifted with words and the ability to express himself openly. That was Blair's area of expertise. Jim was more comfortable with deeds and actions. He had even thought of courting Blair, a candlelit meal for two, Blair's favorite foods, and flowers. With some carefully chosen words, Blair would get the idea that Jim loved him. Jim smiled. He would do that soon. The worst that could happen would be Blair rejecting him outright.

As Jim pulled into the parking lot beside the apartment building, the smile was still on his face. Thinking of Blair always brought a smile to Jim's face. Blair was home, which meant he had probably started dinner. Jim took the stairs up to the third floor and then walked down the hall to #307. He automatically extended out his senses to check out things. Jim could smell no food. The only things Jim could detect were Blair's heartbeat and the smell of tears. Jim quickly unlocked the door to the apartment, walked inside and looked around. His eyes adjusted automatically to the darkness. He didn't spot Blair in plain sight. Jim notched up his hearing and was able to pinpoint Blair's heartbeat coming from the balcony area. Jim walked over to the open door and spotted Blair out on the balcony, sitting on the concrete. Jim also saw the remains of a twelve pack of beer. Six empty cans sat on the concrete beside where Blair sat. And Blair held one in his hand. Something must have definitely gone wrong. Jim walked out on the balcony and sat down opposite Blair, mirroring his friend, so he could look Blair straight in the eye. At least when he looked up. Blair took another swig of the beer and spoke.

"Sorry a-a-bout-t din-ner." Blair kept Jim's gaze.

"That's okay, Chief. Care to talk about it?"

"Din - ner? Nah-h."

"No. Not dinner. About what brought all this on?" Jim indicated the balcony, the beer and Blair's part in it all.

"Drow - ning my trou-b-les. Hol - ly dumped me. No...girls like me."

Jim couldn't help but smile. Not that he wanted Blair hurting, but it might just be the opening he needed.

"Sure they do, Sandburg. They fight over you. In fact, I'm jealous."

"You don't l-like me, ei-ther."

Jim was quick to answer. "Sure I do, Chief. You're special to me." The smile was still on his face.

Blair finished his beer and went to grab another. Jim grabbed the can at the same time. Their hands touched. Blue eyes sought out blue eyes.

"You don't really want that, do you?"

Blair saw Jim's smile and smiled back. "Nah-h. I'd m-much ra-ther fe-el your lips." It was said sentinel soft. Jim leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on Blair's lips. Blair closed his eyes and sighed.

"You like that, Chief?"

"Yeah." The voice was soft and dreamy.

Jim leaned in for another kiss. It was just as nice. Jim's tongue coaxed Blair's lips apart. Blair's tongue found the inside of Jim's mouth. Their tongues warred together until the need for air separated them.

Jim leaned further in to whisper in Blair's ear. "Why don't we go inside? It's warm in there and you're getting chilled."

Jim got to his feet and offered Blair a hand up. Blair eagerly grabbed the offered hand and Jim pulled him to his feet. Blair leaned heavily into Jim's massive chest. And stayed there.

Jim allowed a chuckle to escape. "Do I smell good?"

"Yeah." Blair placed his arms around Jim's waist and held on tight. He tilted his head up to look at Jim's face. "You do l-like me!"

Jim hugged Blair back and kissed him on the forehead. "Told you so, Chief!"

Jim gently pulled Blair back inside the apartment. Blair kept his hold on Jim and kept kissing him on the face and neck. Jim was able to maneuver the door to the balcony closed and pulled Blair towards the couch, where Jim sat them both down. Blair was practically sitting on Jim's lap. Jim brought up his hands and placed one on each side of Blair's head, gently pulling him away from the kissing marathon Blair was engaged in. A frown came across Blair's face and he looked besiegingly into Jim's eyes.

"Some-thing wrong?"

"No, no, Blair. I just have something I want to tell you." Jim looked deep into Blair's eyes, looking over his partner, who was now closer than he had ever been before.

And Jim just couldn't do it. He couldn't say the words. Even though they were in his brain and in his heart. He couldn't say the words.

Blair's frown was deeper and he could see the trouble Jim was having. Then, all of a sudden, it dawned on him. Even in his inebriated state.

"You don't j-just l-like me, do you?" Blair punctuated his words with a soft kiss to Jim's lips. "You can say it, Jim. I know you feel it. C'mon, Jim. Say it."

Jim smiled and looked at the love of his life, sitting right there. Blair was helping him, just as he always did. He could do this. Blair had given him permission.

"I love you, Blair." Jim said the words softly, but knew Blair had heard them. Jim wanted to shout it out to the whole world, but they weren't ready for that yet. Jim held Blair as close as he could.

"I love you, too, Jim. Does this mean..."

"It means whatever you want, Blair. Are you okay with this?"

Blair smiled at Jim. "With you, yes. I knew I could get you to say it."

Jim only shook his head. "I've wanted to act on my feelings for a long time. But I didn't think you..."

"You can't st-stay silent, Jim." Blair let his head rest on Jim's shoulder.

Within minutes, Blair was asleep. Jim shook his head again and wondered what to do. He shifted the body slightly and was able to get to his feet with the bundle in his arms. Blair automatically snuggled closer and increased his hold on Jim. Jim could feel the soft breath on his arm as he carried Blair to his bedroom. Although Jim was anxious to begin a relationship with Blair, he knew he had to wait until the younger man was sober.

Jim gently lay Blair down in his bed, removed Blair's shoes and got Blair under the heavy blanket. He leaned over and placed another kiss on Blair's lips, a soft kiss. He heard the soft moan from Blair. Jim placed his hand on Blair's forehead.

"Go to sleep, love. We'll talk tomorrow." Jim turned to leave the small room, but paused at the doorway to turn back and look at what he hoped was the love of his life.