Chapter Text
Fic: CPA
Author: Norgco
Summary: The accountant sent to audit the Magic Box is unexpectedly familiar.
Couples: Anya/Faith/Xander - yes, I think they need each other. Giles/English Coven - mentioned
Disclaimer: I do not own any of this.
Feedback: Yes.
Author's note: 1/ For anyone who hasn't seen it before, this was written between season 6 and season 7, so, it AU from that point.
2/I happen to consider the things Xander was being shown to be good at at this stage in the series to be actually way more valuable than gaining a superpower would be. So I tend to write him being valued for them, that's not a criticism of SuperXander stories, but I see him as making a unique contribution, even if it looks Too mundane to bloody Joss Whedon.
CPA
by Norgco
The Magic Box, 1.30 pm, Saturday morning
The Magic Box was its relatively quiet self that afternoon, nothing major was happening except for Anya's anxiety about the arrival of the new auditor. Repairs to the shop required passing an audit of the books, to ensure that there was actually the cash flow needed to repay the loan. Xander had done enough out of his own pocked so that they could have a 'Post earthquake Sale' but without the bank loan they were unable to do more. So the vengeance demon waited for the only thing more terrifying than a Fyoral demon on LSD, the auditor.
There was a tinkle as the door opened, and a young woman in a dark outfit that must have cost more than the shop made in a month walked in with a laptop carry bag over her shoulder and a briefcase in the other. At first no one recognized her, clearly she was the accountant they were expecting, and therefore Anya and Giles problem. She walked over to the desk and introduced herself, that was the real start.
"Hello Anyanka, Patron Demon of Scorned Women, I am Faith Wilkins, from Harvey, Norman, and Bates Sunnydale office."
Silence fell over the group, for different reasons depending on the individual. Anya and Giles were stunned that an accounting firm would have someone who recognized a major demon on sight, and still insisted on carrying on normal business anyway. The formal mode of address made Buffy and the others basically ignore the statement, and then the name of the woman in the suit slammed home into Buffy's paranoid brain.
"FAITH!" and with that everyone looked around, yes, it was the dark slayer. She had calm, totally business expression, and the reason no one had recognized her was clear. In her carefully tailored clothes and with that expression, she was unrecognisable. The relaxed demeanour remained even as the Blonde slayer leaped over the table and grabbed a sword. When the sword swung up the ex-con did nothing much, simply looked the elder Summers woman in the eye and smiled. "Give me one reason not to kill you now."
"Harvey, Norman and Bates take a dim view of attacks upon their employees Buffy, they assume it means the attacker has something to hide somewhere." The post Enron/Worldcom/etc shakeout of the industry had destroyed most of the previous famous firms, allowing the newcomers to take their place. It was actually a new name for an old firm, with some very old-fashioned values. How the dark slayer had been recruited in Prison to join the firm was an interesting tales she had been hoping to live long enough to discuss with them. "If you thought Angelus was dangerous Buffy, wait till the IRS comes after you. You may be able to hide the remains of my corpse from the police, but I have ALREADY found some things in your last tax return you DON'T want them to look closely at."
"How, ah, I mean, you're an accountant Faith, how did this happen and why were we not informed you were even out of prison?" Giles stammered out, Faith had dropped out of school with quite poor marks, how did she end up as a qualified accountant only a few years later and straight out of prison? Surely the Watchers Council was keeping track of 'the Dark Slayer (TM)', why had they not informed him of her return to Sunnydale, at the very least. "Why did you not inform me you were in town, and who is your Watcher?"
"To answer you in reverse order of question, I insisted on having Wesley back as my Watcher, I assumed the Council had already told you, I assumed the council would tell you, and I was recruited by a Karnak demon that was working as a prison guard in my first week in prison. They tested me and it turns out I'm in the top 1% of the population, IQ of 180."
Once Faith had finally accepted that her school problems had been the result of her making intellectual leaps her teachers couldn't follow, rather then that she was stupid, as they had always told her, everything had changed. The demon had been sent to work in the prison by her clan specifically to look for salvageable individuals, people with untapped potential being wasted. She had thrived under a high pressure but encouraging learning environment, getting her GED and a Degree in Accounting in the time some people would have needed for just the High School work. And then there were the speech and deportment lessons, what fun...
"Karnak demons, I thought they were extinct for centuries?" Giles responded, in a calm tone that was all that kept Buffy from making short, chopping motions through Faiths body with the Claymore sword in her hands. Restraining her was important, if the dark haired slayer was telling the truth then turning her into minced Faith would be more trouble than they wanted. "And why would they recruit you as an accountant, of all things, they were mercenary demons, if very honour obsessed?"
"The industrial revolution."
"Huh?" From Buffy, at her intellectual limit under the stressful circumstances.
"Karnak demons aren't extinct, they were mercenaries for the money, and the industrial revolution showed them that there was more money to be made in business." Hence the Watchers council had lost track of them, being English Upper Class Twits with the upper class twit contempt for anyone 'in trade'. Then, for the benefit of the other Scoobies she explained. "Before then you could only get rich by inheriting or stealing from whoever had inherited it, and as mercenaries they were entitled to loot peoples treasures. Then they realized the money to be made in a suit was bigger than with a gun, so they do this now. "
"Demonic accountants, well that explains a lot." Xander finally remarked, watching the new version of Faith, drawn to her. Anya had said she was not coming back to him, had told him she would never forgive him and to get 'a new orgasm friend'. Faith had noticed the look, and smiled back. "The Council has no problems with your working for demons, AGAIN?"
"My slaying has the full support of the Karnak Elders, honour demands we protect a society we benefit from."
"Not many businessmen seem to think like that." Willow commented, still the daughter of left wing
academics.
"Honour is its own reward." Faith said icily. She was taking out her Laptop, and examining the General Ledger of the Magic Box, with the conversation taking up less and less of her mind. The business's books were, quaintly in this day and age, still in actual books, with red leather covers. She approved, the neat, clearly laid out entries showed pride and care, not the incomprehensible mess she had encountered when doing the books at Willie's bar. "Can we discuss this later, I have work to do?"
The Magic Box, later that night.
Faith had finished for the day, the computer now contained a copy of the accounts and she could go over them at her leisure. Everything certainly looked in order, Anyanka really was as competent a business manager as she thought she was, perhaps better. And clearly attracted to the dark slayer, and having clearly noticed how her ex-fiancé was attracted to Faith.
"So, how about we go relax?" Xander announced. He was standing near the counter, just back from patrol with Buffy, since Faith was apparently still out of condition from her prison time, though improving rapidly due to Wesley and a personal trainer supplied by the firm. Anya looked at him with a smile he had not seen from her in a long time.
"Yes, how about the three of us go back to my place for sex?" The vengeance demon asked.
"The three of us, I thought you and Xander were, ah..." Faith had heard more about the slayerettes then they had about her, she knew of the break-up.
"We never did a threesome, no, and looking back on it that was obviously the problem." Anya was totally serious now; sex and business were serious topics to her. "And some romantic, lesbian sex and a serious stud like Xander to use till you both collapse from exhaustion is what a slayer needs like you needs Faith, I mean, why else would Buffy keep screwing Vampires? Lets go."
Giles watched as the trio walked out, Anya clearly in charge, Faith and Xander following rapidly. Buffy was not hear to have heard the comment on 'what a slayer really needs', though Anya being Anya she would learn soon enough. Xander was in for an exhausting evening, if his own experiences with the Coven who had given him the powers used to fight Darth Willow was any guide. They had insisted on a price for their help, not that he or any sane man would mind, and he
felt the teleportation spell kick in, as they called him for his 'payment.'
*************
Casa Summers, the large bedroom, Sunday morning,
9.15am
Faith woke up in with the warmth of two bodies. She had one arm draped over Anya, just under her breasts, and the other over Xander. It had been an amazing night, and the vengeance demon had been right, the combination of making love to a woman and using a stud for the orgasms was exactly what she had needed. The other woman was kind, knowledgeable and fun, Xander did the he-man pleasure machine thing well. Now to make sure he understood she thought of him as more than that without triggering the jealousy of Anyanka, who didn't seem to have worked out exactly whether she wanted Xander as a lover or a corpse.
The Slayer looked up at the door as it opened, to see Buffy enter the bedroom. The blonde smiled at her without saying anything, and placed three coffees and some doughnuts on the bedside table. A space was there for it; apparently this was a stable routine. The ex con was intrigued, little miss innocent was taking it as a routine to enter the bedroom of her friends and leave coffee to wake the lovers up.
"Hi Buffster, have a good night?" the dark haired man in the bed said, as he got up and walked around the bed to get his coffee. Ok, so this was getting surreal, Xander walked COMPLETELY NAKED around the room without a hint of embarrassment from himself or little miss blonde perfection? "An, Honey, wake up, Buffy brought coffee."
Anyanka sat up, letting the covers drop and exposing her own and Faiths bodies for all to see. All right, so she had nothing to hide from the couple, but Buffy had certainly never seen her breasts before. Seeing them she was though, and then the rest of her as the other woman in the bed got out and pushed the covers to the bottom of the bed. It was a warm morning, so it probably was just the absent minded routine it seemed to be. But how had this become routine?
Summers house, Breakfast table, later that day
Sitting a breakfast with the Scooby gang was a bizarre experience for Faith, as the whole morning had been so far. Part of the strangeness was the touches of normal suburban life added to the mix. Everyone but Giles seemed to sleep in the house, and only Dawn was doing it alone. Or presumably Buffy's under age sister slept alone, she was sleeping over at her friend Stacey's place for the weekend, and judging from the routine here they might as easily be staging orgies as having a chaste, best friend staying over time of it. The dark slayer was not going to ask, until she understood the situation better.
"More coffee anyone?" Willow asked, then when no one else wanted any she poured the last from the eight-cup coffee maker for herself. Sitting down between Buffy and Xander, she hugged both, apparently for comfort, before resuming breakfast. Her recovery from the death of Tara was not, and probably never would be, complete, and the need for comfort and the reassuring warmth of others was a constant with her. Faith was guessing about some of this, but knew the outline from what had been said so far.
After the Warren/end of the world thing the red head had had her powers removed, leaving her a grieving, guilt stricken wreck. Xander had led the effort to bring her back into the world, with the others becoming involved as their friend swung from recluse to party girl and back again. Willow had, when Faith had gently asked about that time, commented, 'either I was huddled in the corner crying or I was on all fours sucking and fucking. I did the whole football team one night and three cheerleaders the next, I don't even remember what drugs I was doing most of the time.'
So now the five of them were sitting around the table, this very emotionally scarred group, with Faith actually the sanest and most sober citizen of the group. If it had not been so tragic the dark slayer would have laughed. The human cost of their struggle against the darkness was so high, and it was all here in this room to see. Willow, the shy computer geek when Buffy arrived, was now going cold turkey from: Alcohol, Cocaine, Ecstasy, Magic, and a habit of seducing strangers be they alone, couples, or in large groups. She could now not sleep without someone to hold, any more than she could really relax without it. So the only friend she had who was immune to her, Buffy, shared her bed every night.
Buffy was recovering from her return from heaven, and probably always would be. Her own degrading sexual obsession had been hidden, rather than totally public, but no less a self-destructive drive to oblivion for all that. She was learning to enjoy life again, slowly, the way the red head was learning to enjoy not being stoned most of the time. The burden of all the routine financial and job related stuff was a constant drain on her spirits, well; Faith had very good news on that front anyway.
Xander, whose life seemed the most successful on purely economic grounds, was barely coping with his guilt and the strain of holding everyone else up. While his career in construction went from strength to strength - the company he worked for wanted him to be foreman of a small project when the current one finished - the strain of getting his oldest friend back to something resembling sanity had nearly killed him. And the guilt he felt at failing to stop Warren from killing Tara and starting the nightmare never really left him, like the pain of having hurt Anya so badly by not marrying her. And letting Willow seduce him, he should never have allowed that, even if it was the start of her recovery process.
Anya was troubled too, and in ways none of the others could fully understand, being human. As Anyanka, the demon, she was avenger of scorned women, and yet she was in love with a man and could not decide if he should be tortured to death or forgiven. Willow had introduced her to the joy of woman/woman sex, why couldn't she limit herself to that, and should she feel guilty about it the way her other friends did about having orgasms with the red head. The events of last night did not help, she had wanted Faith for sex and Xander was SO damn good at that, and useful in ensuring the offer was not rejected. And the fact that she had responded to her pain by having sex with Spike, exactly the way so many men she had wreaked vengeance upon had, did not make her emotional state any clearer.
"Will everyone be meeting at the Magic Box later?" Faith asked, trying to decide whether to drop her bombshell now, and tell Giles separately or not. But Giles and Dawn were part of it too, it affected their futures as much as the others.
"Not planning to, why, is something terrible happening we need the whole gang for?" Buffy
responded, sounding suspicious.
"Nothing bad, something very good actually, but I want to tell everyone at once, and that includes Dawn and Giles." It seemed that could be arranged, and, by the magic to the telephone, it was.
The Magic Box, 5.30pm Sunday night
At times Willow wondered if there was anyone in Sunnydale she had not had sex with. She actually listed the only people she knew for a fact she hadn't at times, just to keep track of things. There was Giles of course, and Buffy, the most totally heterosexual woman she knew. Dawn, she had never had Dawn, never had the chance, and Faith had been in prison. Some of the other women in the town were bound to be as straight as Buffy, though an amazing number had been willing to at least experiment for one night. And the gay men of course, but anyone else...
"Willow, Will, speak to me, can you hear me, testing one, two, three..." Xander was calling the meeting into order, Giles having arrived in a shower of light, to complete the group. Faith had gone back to her apartment for something, and now was passing some official looking papers around the desk. His arrived, it was on heavy, embossed letter headed paper, and in thick legal speak.
"As you can see from the documents each of you now has before you, the Karnak Elders have decided to support the Vampire Slayers, and their team, financially. The money mentioned is already in your bank accounts, or new Swiss accounts described in the annex." There was silence at the table, both at the idea of demons paying the Slayers to Slay demons, and the sheer amounts of money involved. To someone who had been as poor as Faith had been, and Buffy and Dawn now were, the figures involved looked like enough to fund a small war. Which, of course, is exactly what they were. "The Scooby gang have, after all, prevented the loss of all the lives, investments, and future earning power, of the entire Karnak Species several times. Supporting that activity amounts to insurance, which is a normal business cost, and given the total investment protected the figures you see for back payment are conservative."
The figures were astonishing, both for their size and neatly itemized nature. Each Scoob was given a separate figure, itemized according to apocalypse averted and estimated monthly hours devoted to research, patrol and recovering from injuries. Loss of income due to neglect of potential money making activities and studies, etc. was there too. Proposed investment and tax minimization measures were discussed, with a note that the Legal, Accounting and Investment arms of the Karnak conglomerate were available to them for a purely nominal fee, which was of course tax deductible.
"Exactly what do they want me to do to earn all this?" Xander asked. He was having trouble with the idea that there was that much money in the world, let alone his bank account.
"Xman, you've ALREADY earned it. You have helped saved the world repeatedly, you are not being asked to do anything more, although you will be made an offer to continue doing so." Faith had had years to come to grips with the fact that there were wealthy demons that cared more about her than the Watchers Council ever had. She had forgotten how astonished she had been first faced with the idea.
"What has the Watchers Council had to say about all this?" From Giles, who was clearly expecting trouble from his nominal superiors. Willow snuggled up closer to Faith, had not stopped touching her the whole time, even while daydreaming. He would worry about it later, if necessary. Both women need someone permanent, perhaps his troubled, red headed daughter could find comfort with the only individual here as smart as she.
"The Watchers Council has been offered nothing, they are wealthy and yet let the Slayers live in poverty, they are safe and yet insist on a test on the Slayers eighteenth birthday that kills most of them, dismissing the dead as 'unworthy'." The dark slayer was angry now, and she dropped out of the rehearsed speech and her carefully trained tones to finish. "Fuck the Council, if they want to help, great, but if they bother us may God have mercy on them, because they can expect none from our law firm"
"Lets find a teller machine, I want to see that this is really in my bank account." Anya said, having read the document carefully, there should be $50,000 in there, the upper limit of what the bank would allow in one account. Her numbered Swiss account would have the rest. Not a lot compared to Buffy or Xander, who had been involved longer, but still seven figures in hard currency. "Buffy, why don't we go see if you can quit Doublemeat Palace?"
***************
Things to do with a fortune when you have been dead
The first thing Buffy did after discovering that yes, she was a multi millionaire, was to quit working for Double Meat Palace. Faith was worried about the mental stability of all the Scoobies, and if the blonde slayer had kept that job she would have had the men in the white coats throw a butterfly net over her. Anyanka took up the Elders offer to acquire a degree in finance, since while her business skills were respectable; investment management seemed her real area of interest.
Xander did not immediately quit his job, not as puzzling a decision as it might seem. Construction had allowed him to find a real skill of his own; something useful he had a real talent for. Sensibly he allowed Anya to invest most of his money, bought a house and a van, and started thinking about his own business. Not that he needed the money, but he needed to develop the first real creative skill any of the Harris males had shown for generations.
Willow insisted on paying out the Summers family back debts, and the repair cost of the Magic Box. Anya was still considering if she should run it part time during her degree, to develop practical business skills, but the red head felt better about not sticking the demon with the repair costs of the damage she had caused. Dawn invested her money, and planned a life where she never had to worry about being able to afford anything.
Giles paid off various bills, and set up funds to pay his various nephew and nieces university education's. He had never actually been poor; the Magic Box had been to keep occupied rather than from a need for the cash income, and he was thinking of asking Anya if he could go back to running it when she was studying.
Faith had already received a lump sum, and in any case had a high paying job and a lot of things paid for by the company, with a wardrobe allowance to pay for 'suitable' clothing, and a company car. She was proud of the car, both of what it actually could do as transportation and the simple fact that she had a skill that people valued that did not involve killing, torturing or fucking.
Unlike the Scoobies, her employers were aware she had paid the bills during her pre-Mayor slaying by working in 'A Touch of Class', Sunnydales best brothel. One 12 hour shift a week paid all bills and had allowed her to put money in the bank, with the aim of moving into her own place. The Karnak are not human, and, do not understand human morals and prejudices. They knew enough to quietly explain, very early in the relationship, that they knew and it was not an issue with them, she did not have to fear them finding out.
However she had worked out during the conversation, and confirmed after, that they did not see what the problem was, they were just humouring a strange human prejudice. Prostitutes were professionals providing a service, and the clan judged them like any other professional. Did she provide the service paid for, was she skilled at the tasks required, did she overcharge or in any way cheat her customers? That human society failed to show good sex workers the same respect as good lawyers or electricians was a puzzle to them, but they quietly found and destroyed all record of Faiths former employment, to avoid any future unpleasantness.
The Magic Box, Tuesday 7pm
"So, Faith, what's the company car like?" Xander was sitting at the table with a cup of coffee, what Anya insisted was the best coffee in Sunnydale and he was inclined to agree. The repairs would include an expansion, and an upper story with a research room. But an espresso machine, Giles personal selection of tea's and twice daily doughnut and pastry deliveries were already on line. Xander had bought a doughnut and pastry franchise, as a joke on his years of delivery runs for the group. "Come on, let's all go see what Faith drives."
In truth they were all interested, but for various reasons had not seen her pride and joy. They knew she was proud of her car, that it was supplied under a 'whatever makes the professional demon killer happy while she is around us demons' basis, and were curious about it. Xander was expecting a Ferrari, Giles an Aston Martin, Buffy a Mercedes like the one she had ordered. The car they actually saw, however stunned them into complete silence for a time. Finally Buffy spoke.
Outside the Magic Box, 7.12 pm
"A White Volvo." They were all staring with their mouths hanging open, which Faith mistakenly took for awe at her brilliant choice. The Swedish safety icon sat in front of the shop, sparkling in the street light, its chrome roof rack shining. It was set up for towing, and there was a half tennis ball stuck over the ball of the tow bar. "With all the automotive choice in the world, you bought a Volvo set up to tow a trailer."
"Isn't she great?" The dark haired slayer ran her hand over the side of the car, and then carefully polished off the fingerprints with a cloth from her carry bag. "All the Elders drive them, but mine is the only one you can tow a boat with. I love fishing."
That the leaders of one of the most powerful demonic clans in existence all drove one of the most boring, but safe, cars in the world, seemed somehow fitting in light of the insanity of life on the hellmouth. Giles was deeply concerned that Faith, former Psycho Slut Evil Bitch, was now the most conservative and sensible of his charges. This was the car he would have bought, if there was no Ripper floating in the back of his mind to leap out and strangle him at the very idea. The expensive fishing gear in the back added to the effect.
Xander was thinking that perhaps the rehabilitation idea had been carried too far, but then he remembered the dark slayers attempt to strangle him when he offered to help her, and shut down the thought. From her performance in bed since returning he was aware some of the old Faith was around but...actually her performance in bed was considerably better than it had been when she took his virginity. Certainly she had Anya screaming loud enough to justify the soundproofing of the bedrooms Willow was paying for.
Willow herself was standing between Faith and Xander, where she could feel them next to her without looking like she was feeling them up. Which she did not do, in public, any more. Or in private any less, for that matter. She was rebuilding some of her confidence, but so much of that confidence had been from Tara, and she needed the touch, the personal contact. The car was an interesting personal statement of where Faith was personally now, like the fact that she insisted on a date with the red head before they got into the group sex and bondage. Or that Faith was happy enough for Willow to be the Top in their games.
"Well Buffy, lets go kill things." With that the accountant walked off into the dark, a bag slung over her shoulder, the Blonde slayer and Xander running to catch up. Exactly what the ex con had in the bag was a mystery, she had only said it was an experiment from the security division. That had them a little nervous, but Faith had assured them it probably would not blow up and kill them all, honestly. "Beautiful night for a fight, isn't it?"
A Sunnydale Graveyard 7.46pm
Ratua the destroyer had set up what everyone of his followers thought was a really good ambush. With scouts posted around the perimeter, it did not matter what direction the slayers came from, he would be informed and the bait would scream, bringing them running into his trap. With a dozen assorted demons and as many vampires it would work without a problem. Victory was assured. He had heard the old truism 'no battle plan survives contact with the enemy', but thought he had covered all contingencies.
A scream in the distance made Buffy turn, and Xander started running to the sound, Faith ran too, but she brought out the weapon as she ran, in a smooth practised motion. The empty canvas bag fell onto the grass, and she was now holding one of the most dangerous close quarters weapons available. Most pump or semi automatic shotguns hold 5 to 8 rounds. The 12-gauge semi-auto she was holding was South Korean, and had a 30 round drum magazine, with two more loaded mags in the pack on the dark slayers back. It had been decided that any situation that could not be handled by 90 rounds could at least be brought under control by them, people with arms, legs or heads missing being fairly easily controlled. She still had stakes for hand to hand, of course.
A group of Fyoral demons with swords ran out of the bushes to her right, and the dark slayer fired a double tap at both. Few people in the world could have fired a dozen rounds while running at top speed and without missing, but she was a Slayer, and, as tests showed, she could do it in a real situation. The ammunition was the special part; the shotgun itself had been around for years. Double tapping, or firing two closely spaced shots at the same target, was important because of the two different types of cartridge. One was a armour piercing High Explosive sabot slug, and the second incendiary shot. Two rounds would therefore punch a LARGE whole in the toughest demon, or incinerate a vampire. Or blow the hole and then cremate the remains. Or explode in the
breach and turn whoever was holding it into cat mince. So far it seemed to work.
With the right hand side of his ambush gone, Ratua decide to withdraw, leaving the remainder of his force to be rear guard. A simple plan, ignoring the fact that these were mercenaries, who had no loyalty to anything but money and certainly were not going to die for him unnecessarily. So they tried to run too, and the dark slayer simply used them for target practice. Ratua got the furthest, she had to sprint to catch him, his head disappeared in a spray of blood and bone. The test had been successful.
"So, Faith, can I have one, can I, huh, please, pretty please, huh, promise to be your bestest friend?" Xander was smiling, and in no small awe of the new ammo. He was a little dubious about what would happen if they had to use the guns without enough training to avoid 'friendly fire', or 'collateral damage.' Soldier was still part of him, and knew the reality of those words in terms of dead allies and dead innocent bystanders respectively. Still it worked and worked well, with proper training it would allow anyone at all to fight the forces of darkness with a better life expectancy than the slayers had ever had.
The Magic Box, Wednesday at 5pm
"Giles, the ammunition is exactly what we need, its amazing. It won't kill a human any deader than an M16 round will, but it kills vampires and Fyoral demons just fine." Xander was inspired, at last there was something that allowed humans to just shoot the things that go bump in the night, instead of having to fight hand to hand against things faster, stronger and tougher. "We could go after the bastards with any reasonably well trained soldiers, instead of needing dumping the weight of the world some 15 year old girl."
The older man was staring into the distance, obviously mentally a million miles away. At first the carpenter was insulted, and then he noticed that his father figure was crying. Slowly it built up until the former librarian was wracked with tears, his whole body shaking and he sank onto the chair. Then he looked up at the younger man, and spoke.
"How many slayers have died because the Council, in their INFINITE BLOODY WISDOM, deemed it unnecessary to research modern weapons? How many Xander, we could have had this decades ago, at least." The mix of anger and hope in his face was terrible to see. "And now a group of DEMONS, bloody KARNAK DEMONS who are supposed to be extinct mercenaries, invent this, because they say 'its only honourable to give those whole defend you appropriate tools'. And because they think its stupid to risk the end of the world just to keep traditional weapons."
"Giles, we can put out a contract on the Watchers Council later. Buffy and Faith could die of old age Giles, we all might."
***************
Various beds, Casa Summers, Thursday night.
Buffy Summers was sleeping alone for the first time in a while. That did not bother her as such, since she is a, well, a heterosexual woman in a building with no other except her sister, and she had been sleeping with Willow Rosenburg, her aggressively bisexual best friend. No, what worried her was the possibility that her friend might slide back into her post-Tara/attempted apocalypse fuck anything human habit.
Willow, on the other hand, was on top of the world. She had finally gotten Faith to sleep, through the simple expedient of exhausting her sexually. The Dark Slayer/Accountant to the Demonic world, was superhuman in many ways, but lacked the red heads recent intense experience, like an Olympic athlete who takes a year off to drink beer and eat pizza. Admittedly very few people had the ex-Wicca's experience, at least in Sunnydale. Regulars at the LA swingers clubs she had been to were another matter.
Faith, however, had been in prison, where open orgying is discouraged, and had not been partying much in Sunnydale before meeting up with the Scoobies again. She stroked the dark hair gently, and snuggled up the the other woman, her breasts pressed against the slayers back and her right arm draped over and cupping a breast. She was asleep almost instantly.
Anya and Xander were together, in Xanders bed. The situation had not changed noticeably since the threesome on the night of Faiths return meeting at the Magic Box. Anya charted a meandering course between wanting Xander back as the centre of her life, and never wanting to see him again. She, at least, had found a great comfort and relief at her solution to this problem, which was basically to take charge of Xander and his orgasm generating activities. Faith had shared their bed every night, and she was working on Buffy. Willow, when propositioned, had been smilingly enthusiastic about 'getting some pork' from Xander, then, giggling at her idea of a Jewish joke, thanked the vengeance demon for her kind offer. Both women knew he had the stamina to deal with any number of women, courtesy of a dangerously irresponsible 'Birthday present' to Anya during Willows magic addict phase.
Her former Fiancé's protests that the blonde was straight as an arrow, and, aside from a habit of having passionate involvement's with mass murderers seemed to have tame tastes, were ignored. She countered that she could at least get the Slayer some 'action' with Xander, and then work up through a little spanking and into girl/girl action from there. Once Buffy tried it there would be no going back. "How can anyone NOT want to have sex with women Xander, answer me that?"
The only fully employed Harris did not bother to answer the question. He understood what she meant, while disagreeing with the central theme. Buffy seemed to have no desire for females, Vampires and genetically enhanced soldier boys named Finn yes, but not women. Also he was enjoying his status as Anya's one-man stud farm too much to risk an argument. The demon's plans to get a much bigger bed made, to sleep at least four, with mirrors on the roof and wall and loops for handcuffs etc. at strategic points, was also a powerful inducement to not argue very hard. Life was definitely improving.
Dawn summers sleeping arrangements will not be discussed here, since she did not sleep in the house much, and not much younger than her sister was when she removed Angel's soul. She had her implanted memories of that time, and was determined to avoid turning her would be first lover into a psychopathic megalomaniac with an obsession with ending the world, at least until she had seen some more of it. Though as far as she knew all alternatives were human, she still wanted to be careful.
The Magic Box, Friday Night
"And what are you planning for the rest of the evening?" Rupert Giles asked, as he cleaned his shotgun and returned it to the gun safe in the floor. Sunnydale Police had learned about the new weapons the night of the second field test, when vampires had staged an elaborate ambush on a patrol car. They had gotten the first car to call for help, and then were in the process of draining three carloads of backup when the group had rescued them. Any complaints were quietly hushed up, in exchange for an alliance, of sorts. "I must say I am enjoying the novelty of getting an early nights sleep occasionally now." "Well Faith, Willow and I will be doing a daisy chain while Xander fucks Buffy up the..."
"Anya, you do that just to make him turn red like that, don't you?" Dawn said. After all this time it had to be deliberate, surely.
"Do what?" The demon asked, genuinely puzzled. "I'm just answering the question. It's not like he doesn't know what a daisy chain is, I explained it to Faith this afternoon while I sold that nice old Mrs Greerson her candles."
"Yes Anya, and the Oxygen revived her without need for cardiac massage, fortunately." The older man of the group vividly remembered the scene, with the explanation of the practical details of each woman having oral sex with two others being matched by the growing purple colour in the customers face. The Slayer had asked 'what are we doing tonight?' from the training room, and the explanation was loud enough to be heard in there, and therefore by everyone in the shop and some in the street. "I thought it was very good of her NOT TO SUE US!"
The red headed once again hacker watched the whole discussion with an amused half smile. She was seeing the world improve, for the first time in a long time. Faith was showing quite a romantic streak, with flowers and even some poetry. Her first group sex in ages was on for tonight, and the woman she was falling for seemed to really understand that, to Willow, it was just a fun social activity for adults. Buffy had a real problem with that, with comments about how could she expect Faith to watch her make love to someone else, she feared it was a retreat to drugslut girl That to a seasoned orgy goer making love and having sex are worlds apart, never to be confused activities just failed to sink in with the blonde slayer. The rest of the group seemed to have the two in their 'proper' compartments, though.
The only thing that made her uncomfortable about tonight was Xander. She still had nightmares about what could have gone wrong with the 'get it up when you want, for as long as you want' spell. The carpenter himself had managed to avoid murdering her when he found out, since it all was working as hoped. The risk she had so casually taken was what scared her. She hugged Faith closer drawing in the scent of freshly showered slayer, and thus had her had right next to the mobile when it rang.
"Sergeant Mendez, yes, I'll ask her...Buffy are you still ok to run your training exercise tomorrow?" The two slayers looked at each other, Buffy and Giles would actually be running things, but the cops were still getting used to the idea of getting active help from the slayer rather than covering up everything and sentencing anyone who talked to the night shift suicide mission. With Major Wilkins gone his cronies were gradually being weeded out of the force, but changing the institutional mindset was a slow task. "Yes, we will be there at 0900 hours sharp, that's ok, thanks."
With that the group left, piling into various cars for the drive to their home. Dawn had a bedroom in the extension added by Xander's construction company, or rather the one he worked for, since he did not have his own YET. It was far enough from the rest that she could ignore the sound effects from the other bedrooms, the soundproofing not being added yet.
Buffy had seriously freaked when she pointed out the need to proof her room as well, but it would be worse to have to specifically order it when she was planning to lose her virginity. Everyone else went into the main bedroom, ready for the night's festivities.
Well most of them were ready. The elder Summers Girl was distinctly uncomfortable, if also aroused and determined to join in what was very obviously the new Scooby gang activity. Too much pain had been caused over the last few years by the various members losing contact with each other, so she was determined to be a part of it. There were limits, of course, specifically no Buffy/woman stuff and if Giles was even THOUGHT of as a member she would never speak to them again. Willow and Faith were holding hands as they walked up the stairs, whispered comments and smiles becoming part of their everyday pattern. Xander and Anya were more into groping, but even that would have been normal if not for the two couples encouraging each other, and including Buffy in all of it. It promised to be quite a night.
****************
Harvey, Norman and Bates, Sunnydale Branch, Managers Office.
The Accounting world is somewhat conservative, and the accounting firm of Harvey, Norman and Bates is no different. However, it is different in the respect that it is a property of the Karnak demon race, and the old fashioned virtues are those of mercenary demons who found a better way of making a living. So where many other firms in the industry would have taken a very dim - indeed career killing - view of Faith's living arrangements, they simply saw the sort of household common enough in their own past.
Five adult women living with one man, four of the women and the man involved sexually. Quite normal in a warrior culture, with its high male death rates, as was the romantic links between several of the women. The need to deal with reality rather than hide from it was a central feature of the Karnak outlook, and various realities that humans preferred to hide from, and therefore stigmatise, are accepted as inevitable cause and effect. So the fact that Willow Rosenburg had responded to the loss of her beloved with grief, rage, violence and eventually sex and drugs was felt to be tragic, but common enough under the circumstances. The new reality resulting from such behaviour must now also be dealt with. Hence the current conversation.
"Logic, Mr Harris, dictates that actions have consequences, and, therefore, if you perform an action you must accept the predictable consequences." Xander was looking at the dark slayers boss, in his true form, slightly amazed that something that looked so much like Chewbacca reminded him so uncannily of Mr Spock, or possibly Tuvok. Giles had commented on recently being repeatedly drawn into discussions, in Ancient Greek, on Hellenistic Philosophy. The experience had left him dazed, if only by the discovery that not only did these fearsome creatures
have as good a grasp of these philosophical debates as any of his Oxford lecturers, they had carefully cultivated Athenian accents. The carpenter was feeling equally overwhelmed, in this case expecting Captain Kirk to beam in for his science officers analysis of something. "You have shown an admirable sense of honour and concern for your friends, are you now willing to accept the male parents duties as well?"
The question did not hit him immediately. The image of Chewbacca of Vulcan in front of him was still being processed, so what was actually being said took a little longer to process. Then the meaning of the words hit him.
"I'm going to be a father? Faith's pregnant?" Excitement, fear, joy, panic, and wonder all warred within him.
"No, Miss Rosenburg is pregnant, and you are statistically unlikely to be the father, given the sheer weight of numbers of the possible candidates for that honour." The creature with the startlingly original name Smith, stated, still in its calm monotone, bringing back the humans urge to push the fur from its ears to see if they were pointed. "You are, however, the obvious candidate for the role of Tark, in your language, Daddy. Acceptance of this role is the traditional right of passage in our culture, I should point out."
"Fatherhood? Anyone can be a parent, even mine achieved it and they were..."
"No, Mr Harris, I am not talking about the ability to reproduce, I mean the acceptance of the responsibilities of male parent, of the sacrifices and joys of 2am feeding, diaper changing and 'are we there yet dad, are we there yet, are we there yet...' I should add that if we did not feel you were worthy we would not ask." Still in Spock mode, with the occasional Steve Martin flash. Sitting in its appropriately oversized chair, with its fingers steepled, the demon looked him directly in the eyes, as it had from the start of the conversation. The owner of Harris construction pondered the creatures words carefully.
"So, if you thought I was unworthy but likely to be stuck with the job by default, you'd kill me or something?" Xander was in his logical analysis mode, where he made the hard decisions like telling Buffy to kill her boyfriend, or lying to her to ensure she would kill Angel.
"Yes." Still the cold Vulcan tone. Having decided to intervene directly in the situation by training and hiring Faith led inevitably to this room, and this conversation. The Slayer, her happiness, and her 'family' support system, were too important to the fate of the world to NOT be having this conversation. Smith felt the weight of duty on his shoulders, an old companion but never so heavy. He could not impose proper moral values on all humans, but given the opportunity he would use his power for good. If he had judged the human in front of him correctly, he was still talking to an ally anyway.
"If I start acting like my dad you'll, what, feed me to something?" The carpenter had walked out on his wedding out of the sick fear of becoming like the animal that had raised him. The lifelong doubts about himself all ultimately centered on this, would he be like all the other men in his family.
"Yes."
"We have a deal."
The Magic Box, that night
"I have an announcement to make to you all." Willow spoke up, Faith holding her hand, Xander on the other side holding her with one hand and Anya with the other. The red head had been delaying this announcement, out of fear of abandonment, of the friends she had tried to kill so recently finally deserting her when the final straw broke the camels back. Faith and Xander had been talking in hushed tones all afternoon, and come to her insisting it would be all right. She was only showing a little, bulky clothes and not quite three months. "This is really, really important."
"What, is there some new prophecy, end of the world stuff." Buffy asked, thinking that if the joint patrols with the Sunnydale P.D. response team kept working out they would be a major asset at the next appocalypse. Giles, however, looked puzzled, nothing major was coming up to his knowledge. "Tell us all Wills."
"I'm pregnant." Most of the group was silent; her two supporters squeezed her hand and smiled support at her. "Xander is not the father, but is determined to accept it as his child, and Faith says she will stand by me. I'll understand if the rest of you are disappointed or..."
She was interrupted by Giles hugging her. The former librarian kissed her lightly on the forehead. She had been shaking with fear, and tears were rolling down her face, her speech too emotional to understand easily. After her parents response she had been so certain no one would accept this.
"My dear child, we have guarded the mouth of hell together, nappy changing is not that much worse, honestly." In other circumstances Giles would have been hurt by the assumption he would abandon her, but he had been there when her Father and Mother had formally disowned her. They had found her putting flowers on Tara's grave, gotten the basic story from her, and started a scene that ended in Giles knocking Ira Rosenburg into an open grave with a broken nose and three cracked ribs. No charges had been laid 'to avoid further shaming the family', and Willow had gone straight to a bar and started her wild behaviour.
"I would love to be a godmother but, as a vengeance demon D'Hoffran might object." Anya said smiling. There was no bigger test, in her opinion, of a man's worth, than whether her runs from family responsibility or towards family responsibility. Her former fiancé had told her he loved her, and then explained the situation. She was going back to being in love with him, especially when he promised to still be her stud. "Actually it might be an idea to make D'Hoffran the demonfather."
"Demonfather?" Faith asked, knowing the answer would at least be entertaining. "Like a godfather, but a demon. After all, god is supposed to be a nice guy, it's the other side you really need to be able to call in favours with." And to Anya this undoubtedly seemed like the most reasonable idea in the world. "And every child should know how to eviscerate someone, it's just one of those skills we really should all learn."
A Sunnydale graveyard, later that night.
Faith was walking point, with Buffy to the rear to handle anyone sneaking up on them. The slayers were acting as early warning sensors, since the response team cops could not tell vampire from human without Infra Red scanners, which were in short supply. It was the third graveyard of the night, and the second week of patrols with SPD. Contacts had all been short and loud, so far, and the Scoobies had actually had more sleep than at any time since Buffy arrived. Vampires are vicious, fast and strong, but stupid and with no real head for tactics and weapons. A shout from Buffy proved it.
"Hey, bloodsucker, come and get it." There were four of them, and the team fell into practiced formation. The Slayer fell back behind the cops, who brought up shotguns full of the incendiary/armour piercing high explosive (aphe) rounds. Xander and Anya turned away from the obvious attack, in case the first group was a diversion. The carpenter and soon to be dad scanned the trees and ground, watching for anything coming up through or over the grass.
The booming sound of shotguns and the distinctive sound of dusting vampires indicated all was well, but he was not used to the 'contact drill' yet, not away from the training ground, and he was nervous.
Eventually the shooting stopped, amid shouts from the response team of 'Clear', 'Clear', 'Clear' as each man confirmed he had no more targets in his arc of fire. There was a sound of the shotguns being reloaded, and the Slayers moved to the front again to prevent a second attack getting through at this vulnerable time. When reloading finished the patrol moved on, Buffy taking point and Faith tail end charlie.
Casa Summers, next morning.
The red head slept soundly, sandwiched between her love and her oldest friend. Or, as said friends girlfriend referred to him, my boyfriend and your fucktoy. To say that Xander enjoyed the latter title was like saying the Pacific Ocean was slightly damp. After all these years the youngest Harris male was naked in her bed, and Faith's soft warmth on the other side was security for her mind. Sleep had come easily for her that night.
Buffy was sleeping with Anya, partly because she had gotten into the habit of having a woman in bed with her through the previous month with Willow. Partly it was because Anya simply could not be left alone tonight, not after accepting Xander's paternal role with the red headed friend of his life. She could control her jealousy by demonstrating control over the situation, but sleeping alone in the bed triggered her 'alone and abandoned' panic response. So, since Buffy trusted the demon's word to restrict herself to snuggling, with no sexual advances, petting etc, and with Buffy in flannel pyjamas with smiling cows on them, they slept the sleep of the just.
Faith Wilkins was finally where she had wanted to be in life. She had money in the bank, paid for by a totally legal job, miracle of miracles. She had people on the police force that did not think of her as a potential criminal, for the first time in her life. She had regular, varied sex from skilful, caring partners.
But most of all she had someone who she loved, who was at least growing to love her, and a child on the way. Ok, she had never quite imagined a situation where she was part of a couple having a baby and she was not the pregnant one, but she had not really been into women until prison, and for a long time she had seen herself as unworthy of love. A long time as in, since the age of about four. She was deliriously happy. She dreamed of what had happened when they returned from parol, waking up Willow who slept on the couch. Faith had found an old Beach Boys song on CD, put it on and sung it to Willow while the group watched.
I may not always love you,
but long as there are stars above you,
you'll never need to doubt it,
I'll make you so sure about it,
And god only know what I'd be without you,
If you should ever leave me,
well life would still go on, believe me,
the world could show nothing to me,
So what good would living do me?
And God only know what I'd be without you,
If you should ever leave me,
well life would still go on believe me,
the world would show nothing to me,
so what good would living do me?
And God only knows what I'd be without you
God only knows what I'd be without you,
god only knows what I'd be without you,
god only knows what I'd be without you,
Faith had broken down crying as the overlapping harmonies of God Only Knows flowed on in the background. The words were inadequate to describe her love, but it was the closest she could come to explaining herself. Willow seemed to understand, was hugging her. And that is what the Mayors former killer dreamed of, acceptance and love of one woman in the world who really meant the world to her.
**************
It is said that nature abhors a vacuum. I certainly did in Sunnydale, as the hellmouth drew in vampires and demons from the world around it to replace the ones killed by the rapidly improving patrol system. It seemed that the minions of darkness simply WOULD not learn the value of modern weapons, and insisted on fighting hand to hand, or with swords, against the semi-auto shotguns of the police and Slayerettes. So the booming of 12 gauge autoloaders became more and more common at night, and the world slowly changed, mainly for the better, to accommodate it.
At first only the SWAT teams, relabelled the Rapid Response Teams, had been involved in the anti-demon patrols. But the simple fact that anyone in the town, and therefore any cop on night patrol, could encounter vampires meant that had to change. Harvey Norman, and Bates were only too pleased to supply as much incendiary and APHE ammunition as was needed, as well as the South Korean 30 round shotguns to make best use of them. At least as long as intensive re-training in fire discipline and proper target identification was provided FIRST.
In any other city being greeted by the police with a squirt in the face by a water pistol would be considered odd, and perhaps justification for a complaint. Sunnydale being Sunnydale, it became just part of the routine, to be ignored like all those dead people with twin puncture wounds and their blood missing used to be. People in the surrounding communities certainly started to comment, however, and journalists, politicians and police chiefs were taken on patrol to show what was happening. The new members of the fight felt no compulsion to keep secrets, in the belief that organization and teamwork were the keys to any victory.
"Mr Giles this is an outrage." Quentin Travers sputtered, glaring at the Watcher who had defied the Council on so many occasions. "The Slayer has a sacred calling to fight alone, and not only do you allow them friends but now this, this decent into..."
"Teamwork, superior firepower and, technology?" The Slayers father figure commented. He was very aware, as Travers apparently was not, of how all this looked to the RRT members watching to one side. How anyone could be so arrogant as to NOT NOTICE the dozen angry cops with huge drum fed shotguns in patrol slings he did not know, but this moron was doing it.
"We are killing vampires and demons in larger numbers than ever, and if we did not have the help of these men I am afraid Buffy and Faith might both have passed on."
"Yes, allowing the calling of new slayers better suited to our traditional..."
"LISTEN HEAR YOU LITTLE ENGLISH PRICK." It was Murphy, leader of Rapid Response Team Two, also known as Red Team, and he was holding the Council representative by the collar and shaking him. RRT2's leader was not a small man, and had the 'take charge and move out' personality that went with his calling. A big believer in meeting dangerous situations with speed, violence and teamwork, he was a lot like the old Faith in some ways. "These girls should NEVER have been left hanging, with no support but one man providing intel. I'd have you up for attempted murder for just considering it, except it's too much trouble over a weasel like you. FUCK OFF BEFORE I RIP YOUR LUNGS OUT AND FEED THEM TO MY DOG!"
Travers was nonplussed by all this, but also less intimidated than he might have been if he had not been an upper class snob with nothing but contempt for anyone not born to an English aristocratic family. He had also mistaken the comment about his lungs for a threat. It had been intended as an explanation of a possible course of action, by a man who was used to eliminating problems rather than living with them, though feeding him to a vampire prior to dusting was actually the rapidly forming plan. The Watcher was incapable of believing he had done anything wrong, or that new methods might be better than old.
"What you fail to appreciate is that for thousands of years our council has..."
"Sent 16 year old girls out to die while sitting in libraries reading. You think only the slayer can fight because only the slayer can match vampires in speed and strength." It was Hernandez this time , the more intellectual member of the team. He wanted to be a team leader himself some day, wanted to be a good one, and so he studied, theory and how it had worked in practice. "Do you know what a European cave bear was, Mr Travers."
"No." Travers was puzzled by this sudden change of subject, and that no one else seemed puzzled by it. But they knew the man speaking, and his tendency to teach by parable. And they knew the one coming up, had been taken to the zoo to be shown the point of it.
"It was 15 feet of teeth, muscle and appetite that our 5 foot nothing ancestors had to get out of the caves before they could move in. Twice the size and four times the weight of a Kodiak bear, Mr Travers, and we took them on with fire hardened spears because the stone tipped spear was still to be invented." The young Latino was looking directly into the Council members eyes through this speech, never allowing the other man to break eye contact, and putting a big emphasis on the 'we' part. "They are all extinct now, with sharp sticks, teamwork and courage we turned them into rugs and bear meat stew. We did them, and we can do these bastards too. We're Red Team."
Before Quentin Travers could ponder why this man was speaking in the present tense, he saw the group swing up their weapons and level them past him, as he fell to the ground. The dark slayer had knocked him down and he turned in time to see a dozen or more Mertak demons attacking. There was the roar of multiple shotguns firing as fast as possible, and then silence as he felt a wet substance soak into his clothing, he looked at it, it was green blood.
"R E D SPELLS RED,
R E D, R E D SPELLS RED,
RED TEAM,
RED TEAM,
RED TEAM YO!"
They were all singing at the top of their lungs, ignoring the need to sleep of anyone around. They also left the corpses in the street, as was their habit. There was a special phone number for people with demon corpses to dispose of now, and it was standard operating procedure to call it after an incident. But the pickup crews only worked in daylight, for safety and so the population could see what all the noise was about. Having to step over these corpses on the way to work in the morning was a street cops idea of a PR exercise, 'Without us these would have been in your house' was the message intended. It seemed to work, certainly no-one seemed to complain about the noise and police budget for a while after doing it.
"Coming Quentin?" It was Giles, speaking politely and trying not to smile. The slaying task was rapidly turning into a war and while the loss of control was a little worrying, it promised a much longer life span for slayers, and he was all for that. Since the man on the ground simply did not care about the slayers life span as such, but did care about maintaining control over the slayer and slaying, it seemed like the end of the world to him. Tough.
The Summers house, Friday afternoon.
"Buffy, I have to talk to you about Xander." Anya said to the blonde slayer, who was getting dressed for her evening patrol with Blue Team, aka Rapid Response Team 1. Blue team were behind on the monthly demon kill tally, and were determined not to be buying the beer this month, as the low scoring team was required to do. She went along with the whole macho thing with good humour; it was extending her life span after all. "I need you to do us a favour."
"Like what?"
"Reconsider a romantic involvement with him, you both need it." The vengeance demon announced, with a serene calm on her face. The house was empty except for the two of them, with Faith and Xander at work and Willow out shopping for Maternity dresses. "All the orgasms would normally be enough to keep any man happy, but he needs to be romantic with someone, and he still loves you, so you're the obvious choice. That and the fact that currently you're both fucktoys in our group."
"WERE WHAT?"
"Fuck toys, sex machines with a pulse, spare orifices for..."
"DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH?" The slayer was less than thrilled by her request; Anya had picked up on that very quickly. The source of the other woman's anger was less obvious to her, however. Xander was always smiling at her references, but then most men would be happy to have proof they were enough man to keep so many women satisfied.
"No, I have a boyfriend I farm out to please women, and who seems very happy with that duty." "So, you're his pimp and you think I should be happy to be included in that role?"
"No money is exchanging hands, although I really should have considered it, shouldn't I? " Clearly the vengeance demon was trying to get the conversation back on track, while considering the money making opportunity presented. "What I, sorry we, want you to consider is a chance to be loved for yourself, rather than simply be the source of sexual fantasies that only one of our group can act on. And he always wanted the whole thing, including flowers and sappy poetry, but avoid the poetry because he's really bad at writing it."
"Xander writes love poetry." The image would not form in her mind, it was just too bizarre. "Yes, he always has, when I asked he showed me stuff he wrote the night he met you. Sweet, really bad, but sweet."
"Xander writes love poetry."
"I managed to get him to admit to himself that he still loves you, and I think you could really love him if you let yourself think of him that way, and he would never leave me so I hope sharing is not a problem. Eventually threesomes, when you come to your senses about how great sex with women is."
"Xander writes love poetry."
"Clearly you are having a problem with something here, so why don't I just make sure the apple cake is ready for when the guy's get here. One of the things the demon had learned to do while temporarily human was bake, an amazingly good apple cake in particular. Her lemon cheesecake was also highly prized, and she always had something of the sort ready when the RRT van came to pick Buffy or Faith up. It was a ritual that had formed instantly, a good luck charm that you could eat. After 1100 years as a demon she knew very little about human psychology, but she did understand the importance of rituals and charms.
Faith and Willow's bedroom, early Saturday morning.
The red head was six months along now, and the pregnancy was showing. She was still at UCS, and still a straight A student, but