Work Text:
Taking Care 1/1
Frodo was gone. Sam was married and Frodo was gone, gone on the long slow voyage to the Grey Havens with the Elves. Merry sighed into his beer, he knew Frodo had wanted to go; he wouldn't have set one foot on that boat if he hadn't. And he deserved it too, he deserved to finally have some peace and happiness. But why did he have to leave to get it? Merry tried not to resent Sam and his oh so happy family but he also knew that Sam's marriage to Rosie Cotton was one of the main reasons for Frodo's departure. Sam deserved his own happiness, they all did, but did it have to be at Frodo's expense? Merry never knew the full story of what happened between them but from what he had gathered declarations had been made and feelings had been reciprocated. Of course they had thought they were going to die but that didn't make Frodo's feelings any less real and Sam should not have led him on no matter what the circumstances. Frodo of course laid no blame on Sam, //He wanted to give me some small comfort before the end Merry, there is no fault but my own for badly misunderstanding his intentions. He has a friend's love for me and that is all, there is no changing it.//
He and Frodo had sat up late into the night before they set off for Rivendell and Frodo had revealed his plan to go on with Bilbo and Gandalf. Merry had begged him to stay but his mind had been set. //I cannot stay here and watch him be happy and know that I am not the cause. And if nothing else I can take with me the knowledge that he is happy//
Merry sighed again a loud drawn out breath designed to capture the attention of.
"What's the matter Merry? Here finish your pint, have another one and we'll go find some lasses to dance with." Little Pippin grinned over his mug of ale motioning for Merry to drink. At the mention of girls Merry rolled his eyes, perhaps Pip wasn't so little after all, there was a time not so long ago when a party was the chance for mischief and drinking and then more drinking and mischief. Now it seemed Pippin had other things in mind, he leaned back in his seat and nodded over at Amaryllis and Verbena Proudfoot who giggled and waved back. "Come on Merry, let's dance."
Two hours later Merry collapsed into a chair and Pip spun yet another girl across the makeshift dance floor. That was possibly his tenth partner for the night, Merry had lost count, at least he didn't appear to want to take this one out into the gardens. He had quite enough brothers, fathers and beau's glaring at him already.in fact it was probably time for a discreet exit
"Pip," Merry grabbed his arm as he passed by, "You almost done? I think you've danced with every unmarried girl under seventy and a few of the married ones.time to call it a night?" In a blatant attempt at manipulation Merry let his exhaustion show. It was almost Christmas and every Hobbit and his dog was having a party, in the last few days they had been out all day and most of every night. The few hours Merry did manage to sleep at night weren't altogether pleasant, he didn't know why but the dark dreams had started again, the ones he'd had for almost a year after returning from Gondor.
"Oh Merry, why didn't you say you were tired? Come on we'll get going." The cool night air was a welcome change from the warm, slightly stuffy smoke filled air of the Proudfoot's hall. "Let's cut through the gardens Merry, it'll be a short cut."
"As long as no one thinks you're taking me out here like one of your conquests, how many girls did you manage to lead astray tonight?" Pippin giggled, sounding very much like the child he used to be, and linked his arm through Merry's leading them away from the soft glow of the windows.
"Not sure, I lost count."
"So did I, you may have some questions to answer in the morning." Merry warned him suddenly feeling more like a much old uncle than an only slightly older cousin. Pip giggled again and hugged his arm tightly, leading him further into the darkened garden.
"You'll be at my side, won't you Merry?"
"Of course Pip."
The younger Hobbit stopped suddenly pulling Merry to a halt at his side, the darkness surrounded them and Pippen turned his face up to the sky.
"Look at the moon Merry." Merry looked at the moon, it seemed close enough to touch, if he just reached his hand out.
//You have to tell him Merry.// Was it really that obvious? Were his true feelings for Pippin able to be seen by anyone who cared to look? //It is obvious to one who had had the same look on his face Merry, don't waste your love don't hide it away like something shameful or wrong. Tell him and I hope you ending is happier than mine was.//
But the moon wasn't close enough, and no matter how many mountains he climbed, he would never be able to touch it. But Pippin.Pippin was right here, by his side, so close and as very touchable.
//You have to tell him Merry.//
"Pip?" Was that trembly timid sound really his voice? He cleared his throat and tried again. "Pip, I." His voice disappeared completely as the silver-white glow of the moon shone down over Pippin his usually sunny golden looks shimmered and for an instant Merry wondered if he wasn't simply a beautiful figment of his imagination. Then Pippin opened his eyes and turned back to Merry, the moonlight turning his fair curls to polished pewter.
"You're not looking at the moon Merry." That oh so familiar teasing tone of voice and the cheeky grin were so much a part of the old Pippin, the young Pippin, the one Merry had feared would be lost forever beneath the huge weights of everything they had seen and done. Merry felt his eyes fill with tears, he blinked and looked away.
"Merry? What is it, don't cry Merry please." Pip tugged his arm and Merry shook his head feeling the light splatter of tears on his cheeks.
"I'm happy Pip, I am. I'm happy, we're here, we're alive and we're home safe." Pippin pulled him into a tight embrace stroking his back as he began to cry in earnest.
"Of course we are Merry. You've had too much ale." He said reprovingly, startled by his cousin's sudden tears. It was so easy to turn into Pippin's warmth to press a soft kiss to the side of his neck, a gesture of cousinly affection.
"I love you Pip." Words he'd said a hundred times before and meant every time. He clung to the younger Hobbits shoulders unwilling, unable to let go.
"I love you too Merry, I always have." Pippin returned the kiss with a quick press of his lips to Merry's "You're my best friend in the entire world." Merry sighed deeply, of course Pip had no idea what he meant, why would he think that his best friend and cousin thought of him in any other terms. He would never guess that Merry harbored romantical daydreams of them living together for the rest of their days or lust-filled fantasies that played out behind his eyes in the dark hours. Suddenly he remembered all the girls Pippin had taken out into the garden earlier in the evening. No, Pippin would never guess at his thoughts because Pippin liked girls and assumed Merry did too and Merry did like girls but he loved Pippin.
"Merry? Please don't cry," Pip's own voice shook now. "I love you too Merry." Merry pulled away, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.
"I know you do Pip. I'm just being silly, too much ale not enough sleep." Pip kissed his damp cheek and linked arms with his cousin
"Then we should get you home and into bed."
Frodo had given Bagend to Sam and Rosie and their quickly expanding family, Sam wanted to wait until the spring to move in and so Merry and Pippin had the run of the place when they came to visit.
"It'll be strange coming to visit Sam here it still feels like Frodo's home." Pip led the way through the dark rooms to the master bedroom, he released Merry's arm and lit the small lamp at the bedside. Merry stood in the middle of the room and watched Pip move around; he lit another lamp and then moved to the fireplace stacking the kindling carefully before touching the match to the crumpled paper beneath. The glow of the fire surrounded him burning his soft curls gold and red. He jumped nimbly to his feet and was once again standing in front of Merry before he could blink. "You can't sleep in your clothes Merry." Pip made quick work of his coat buttons and dragged the sleeves down his arms, he hung the coat on the back of the chair then returned to Merry's shirt buttons.
"Uh Pip.what are you doing?" Merry didn't move away from Pippins hands, he couldn't seem to move at all. Pippin worked the buttons through their little holes, even taking Merry's hands to undo his cuffs, then pulled the shirt off his arms and hung it over the coat.
"I'm getting you ready for bed silly." As if it were the most obvious of things for him to be doing.
"Uh.why?"
"You've had too much to drink Merry and you need me to take care of you. I promised I would, remember?" Merry shuddered at the sudden memory; he hated to think of how that day could have ended, of what could have happened to Pip during the battle at Pelenor.
There hadn't been a gradual, sneaking realization of his love for Pippin, it had sprung on him full force when they were under attack in Moria and when they had been separated and Pippin had gone on to Gondor with Gandalf, Merry had felt as though a part of him were missing. The thought of never seeing him again squeezed at Merry's heart making it hard for him to draw breath, even now years later the memories still had the same affect on him.
"Oh Merry I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I know you don't like to think about it." Pippin knew him so well, every hitch in his breathing every shadow that passed over his eyes.sometimes it seemed as if he could read Merry's mind.
"It's alright Pip, its long over." Merry patted his cousin's shoulder and almost leapt out of his skin when Pippin's quick fingers moved to the fastenings of his trousers. "I can manage on my own Pippin, thank you." The paralysis that had only seconds before frozen him in place disappeared as quickly as it had come on. Pip seemed to have other ideas about how well Merry could manage, he batted Merry's hands away and continued with his self-appointed mission to prepare Merry for bed.
"Don't be silly Merry, I'm going to take care of you." Merry groaned and wished it were true, he stilled his hands by his sides and wished he could do the same with his racing thoughts, most of which centered around Pippins hands on his trouser flies. He felt himself stir and prayed Pippin wouldn't notice, this was never the way he'd wanted Pippin to find out about his feelings. Finally Pip was finished with his trousers and they fell to the floor, now clad only in his under clothes Pip took his arm and helped him to step out of them then guided him over to the bed. "Now you climb in and I'll go and make you some tea so you won't feel too sick in the morning." Merry slid between the cool sheets and pulled the blankets up over his head and wondered why he'd decided to tell Pippin he was drunk. Maybe if he pretended to be asleep when he returned Pip would go to bed himself. The ungrateful thoughts made him wince; Pip was just trying to help his friend.
"And it's my own fault anyway." Merry muttered into the blanket. He froze when he heard the door open and had to force himself to breathe normally.
"Merry, I have your tea. Merry?" There was a soft clatter as the teapot and cups were deposited on the bedside table, the blankets were slowly lifted from his head and tucked around him.
Merry kept his eyes closed focusing on the soft hand that brushed the hair off his forehead and the softer lips that briefly touched his in a goodnight kiss. What would happen if he pulled those beautiful lips down for a deeper kiss? Would Pippin pull away in disgust or would he look at him with pity in his eyes? Which would be worse?
"Oh Merry." Pip sighed and once again Merry wondered if he could read his mind. "I love you Merry, please don't hate me." Merry almost asked why Pippin had said that when his lips were again covered by Pips but this was no friendly cousin kiss, it was.a kiss. Pippins lips parted over his and his tongue ran ever so gently over Merry's lower lip, Merry opened his mouth in an invitation that Pip did not turn down. Merry was almost certain that he was dreaming except that his dreams were never this real, he could feel the warmth of the fire and the cool air coming through the open bedroom door. Taking a chance Merry lifted his hand to the back of Pippin's head combing his fingers through the shiny curls. Pip sighed against his mouth and Merry grinned, that was a very pretty sound and he wanted to hear it again but once again Pippin had other ideas.
"Merry? Wake up, it's me Pippin."
"I know Pip." Merry grinned again at the confused expression Pip was giving him. "I wasn't asleep and I don't hate you."
"You don't... but Merry I... You kissed me back!" His tone was almost accusatory but slowly a matching grin was spreading over his face. "You're not drunk are you." It wasn't a question so much as a realization.
"No I'm not and I'm so glad you kissed me first." Pippin blushed and ducked his head, suddenly shy.
"I love you Pip, my Pip." Pippin fell on him, his mouth now insistent and hot, his tongue demanded entrance and Merry gave in easily. Pippin leaned closer, climbing fully onto the bed, one hand stroked Merry's face and neck the other worked at ridding Merry of his underclothes. Merry indulged in the kiss for a few long moments memorizing the feel of Pips mouth and tongue, his hands and back, before pulling away.
"You're wearing too many clothes Pip." Merry reached for the offending buttons only to have his hands slapped away as Pippin jumped easily from the bed.
"No Merry, I'm taking care of you tonight. I promised." The speed at which Pip disrobed was incredible, Merry tried to watch everything - to burn it into his mind forever - but Pippin was too fast, his clothes flew, jacket, shirt, trousers and underclothes disappeared into the darkened corners of the room and Pippin was back on the bed almost before Merry could blink. Merry pulled back the blankets and Pip slipped into the bed, there was a delicious slide of skin on skin and Merry realized how very hard he had become just watching Pip speed-strip. He pulled Pippin to him, first warm chest to warm chest, then slowly hot arousal to.
"Oh Pip...wanted this for so long." He gasped as Pippin moved closer still, almost trying to climb into his skin.
"Let me take care of you Merry." Pippin whispered into his ear, the words were followed by a quick darting tongue that moved over his ear and down his neck, pausing so that lips could suckle at the tender skin at his collarbone. Mouth and tongue moved quickly south, finding nipples that immediately hardened beneath them then further down to the soft curve of belly. Merry shuddered and gasped, he'd wanted this for so long and it was so much more than he had ever imagined. A breathless giggle burst from his lungs when Pippin's tongue teased his belly button.
"Pip wait, I can't...it's too much." Pippin lifted his head, his lips shiny-wet and swollen, Merry had dreamed so many nights of that beautiful mouth on his aching flesh as he spent himself in his own hand, but now he wanted more, needed more.
"Let me do this for you Merry." His voice a seductive whisper Merry had never heard before.
"No Pip, I want...to see you." Pippin slid up Merry's body creating a sweet friction that Merry thought might just kill him, his legs parted and wrapped around Pippin's waist holding them perfectly together. Pippin kissed him quickly, almost innocently on the mouth, his green eyes glowing in the lamp light. Merry moved his hips pressing upward against Pippins groin, Pippins hips followed the movement, seeking more of the pleasure that these touches caused. Merry guided Pip's mouth back to his own and this time Merry demanded and Pippen gave, their breathing was loud in the silent bedroom, gasps and murmured endearments filled the still air. Merry pulled back from Pippins luscious mouth with a sigh of absolute happiness, his eyes drank in the pure pleasure that washed over Pippins face that sight alone was almost enough to undo him.
"My Merry."
"Love you Pip!" His climax built to the point of no return and then he was riding wave and wave of bliss that rushed through his body like a river over the falls. Moments or days later he opened his eyes to meet Pippins sweet face lying next to his on the pillow, they had been cleaned up and the bedroom door was now closed.
"Did you want your tea now Merry?" Pippin asked sleepily as Merry pulled him into his arms.
"No Pip now I want to sleep, we'll have it for breakfast." Pippin tucked his head into Merry's neck, curling his body around the larger Hobbit, Merry wrapped his arms around Pippin's back and kissed the top of his head. "Good night Pippin, thank you for taking care of me."
The End.